Chapter 8: Break up

Scorpius' POV

The kiss didn't feel right. Actually, he didn't feel anything but surprise when it happened. No electricity. No tingling. Nothing. What is wrong with me? Why didn't I- Why can't I-! Do I not like her? I do, right?

Right?!

Rose had kissed him. He panicked and responded for a moment, but then she stopped. He hadn't responded because he wanted to kiss her. He kissed back because he thought he was supposed to.

She didn't say anything after.

Then Albus came back. Did he see it? Is that why he avoided me yesterday? Is he angry with me? He and Rose had been dating for a while, and Albus hadn't seemed opposed to it lately, so it was fine. Right?

"Scorpius?"

Scorpius was drawn out of his thoughts by his father's voice.

"Hm? Yeah?"

"Are you alright?" his father asked, "You haven't been eating."

"It's nothing. I'm just not really hungry. Is it okay if I leave the table?" Scorpius replies, trying to avoid his father's eyes.

"Sure…"

"If there's anything you want to talk about…"

"Yeah. Thanks dad. But, really. It's nothing."

Scorpius rose from the table, and walked through the mansion to his room. He entered his room, and grabbed a book from his desk as he passed. He sat down in the chair by his window, wrapping himself in a blanket. It was one of the books he had borrowed from Ellie. He had wondered if muggles ever wrote about magic, and she had given him some "fantasy" books. He hadn't started reading any of them yet, but he was looking forward to doing so now. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested the book on them.

Inside the book was a map. Scorpius studied the map thoroughly before flipping the page.

Knock, knock. Scorpius was called back to his room by his father's knocking on his door.

"May I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah."

His father opened the door. He walked over to Scorpius' bed and sat down. He looked over at Scorpius.

"Is there really nothing bothering you?" he asked.

Scorpius put down his book and wrapped his arms around his legs, keeping his eyes on the floor.

He could hear his father sigh quietly.

"I know we aren't that close. And we haven't really talked like this before, but," he started, "I'm worried about you, Scorpius."

"I know. I just… don't know where to start."

"How about starting from the beginning?"

Scorpius looked at his father. He was smiling, even if just slightly, encouraging him. Scorpius felt his mouth twitching a little, and looked back down.

"Well…" he said, "Albus has been ign- Well. Not exactly ignoring me, but he's been more distant than usual. I think it maybe has something to do with me hanging out with Rose a lot?"

"Hmm…Have you talked to Albus about this?"

"I haven't had the chance."

Scorpius sighed.

"And, you've been hanging out with Rose?"

Scorpius slid his feet down on the floor, and started leaning on the armrest.

"Yeah. That's the other thing."

"The other thing?"

"Yeah. But I think I need to sort that out for myself first." He said.

"Alright."

His father stood up, and started walking towards the door.

"Um. Dad?"

His father stopped and looked back.

"Thanks."

His father smiled and exited the room.

"Good night, Scorpius."

"Night."

Scorpius changed his clothes and went to bed.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about everything. What was wrong about the kiss? Shouldn't he have been exploded with joy? Hadn't he liked Rose since first year? Did this mean he didn't like her after all? Maybe he should have asked his dad for help. Maybe his dad had some advice. But what if he thinks I'm weird?

Scorpius spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, trying to gather courage to talk to his dad; until, finally, exhaustion took him.

The next day, Scorpius woke up around noon. His eyelids felt heavy, and he couldn't really bring himself to sit up. He heard a careful knock on his door.

"Are you awake, Scorpius?" his father said through the door, slowly opening it.

"Hmm? Yeah," he said, letting out a yawn.

His father entered the room, and sat down in the foot end on his bed.

"Do you want to eat up here? Or would you come downstairs and eat?" his father said, a careful smile on his face.

Scorpius pushed himself up to a sitting position. He reached to rub the back of his neck. He was still a bit out of it.

"I'll come downstairs. Just give me a minute."

"Alright."

His father left the room, and Scorpius dragged himself out of bed.

By the time he entered the dining room, Scorpius had decided to ask his father for advice. He sat down on his father's right side. His father was reading the Daily Prophet, so Scorpius decided not to disturb him to much. He mumbled out a Good morning before starting to eat.

After he had finished, he waited for his father to put down the paper.

"Um… dad?" he started.

His father looked up from the paper.

"Can I ask you about something?"

His father nodded, and put the folded paper down on the table.

"Um… Let's say that I... have been hanging out with someone for a while now," Scorpius started, "And they did something, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with it. Or even if I like it. What if, when I think about it, I don't feel anything? What should I do?"

His father was quiet for a minute. Scorpius was starting to get embarrassed and antsy. Maybe I shouldn't have told him after all.

"Do you feel threatened by what this person did?" his father suddenly asked.

"N-no I don't," Scorpius said, "I just don't know how I should feel about it?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"What?"

"How do you feel about it? It doesn't matter how you should feel. How do you feel?"

"I don't know?! Nothing?! What do I do?!"

Scorpius leans forward and put his head in his hands.

They sat in silence for a while. Scorpius kept wringing his hands. He hadn't meant to speak to loudly.

"Do you think it would be alright to talk to them about it?" his father finally said, "Maybe you can sort this out together?"

"I don't know," Scorpius said, quietly.

"Maybe just try to bring it up?"

"Yeah. Maybe."

Scorpius reached up to scratch his neck.

"I've got some homework to catch up on, so I'll just…"

"Alright. I'll tall you when dinner is ready."

"Thanks."

Scorpius went up to his room to start on his homework. He decided to write to Rose to see if they could meet up. He would try to talk to her about it.

They met up in Diagon Alley the next day. The snow fell heavily around them. The cobblestone street was slippery, and they had a bit of trouble walking around.

They entered a sweets shop on the corner. There weren't many people, as it was the day before New Year's. They sat down at a table, and ordered some warm chocolate.

"Um…" Scorpius started, "I think we should talk about what happened at Christmas."

"Oh."

Rose quickly looked down. She smiled, awkwardly.

"Sorry. Did you not like it? I just thought, since we've been going out…"

"N-no! I-I just don't know. I'm a bit confused about it. About everything, really."

"Do you want to try it again? Or…?"

Scorpius looked away. It was suddenly clear that he didn't want to kiss Rose. At all. Ever.

"No," he said, "It's not like I hated it or anything. But I guess I didn't exactly enjoy it either…"

"Oh."

"Sorry. I just need some time to think."

Rose had kept her eyes at her mug all this time, but now she finally looked up. She still didn't meet his eyes.

"Yeah. Me too, actually."

"Hm?"

Rose looked down again. This time at her hands, which she had untangled for the mug. She kept squeezing her fingers, and her gaze wouldn't stop moving as she spoke.

"I just thought," she started, "that you would be mad or upset if I told you the kiss didn't sit right with me. But… now that I know you feel the same, I'm kind of relieved."

She looked up and smiled at him.

After they finished their warm chocolate, they went their separate ways. They had agreed to stay just friends for now.