Functions of State

With all the strength that she could muster, Hermione tugged on the bed sheet she'd just tied to one of the desks using a knot her father had taught her during one of their family camping trips. It seemed secure, as did the knots that were currently tying together ten bed sheets in one long chain. She used a sticking charm on the desk to keep it in place as well. Now the only thing to do was work up the courage to go through with her plan.

She dropped the sheets out the window, allowing her chain to dangle down the side of the castle, the bottom of it resting on the ground below. Really far below. Had the ground been that far just a little while ago? Hermione reasoned that it must have been, but it certainly looked farther now.

After taking a deep breath, Hermione reminded herself that this was her best option, and that she'd been sorted into her house for a reason. She took one last glance at the Earth below her, then held tight to one of the sheets as she slowly lowered herself out of the window, vowing not to look down again until she was safely down on the ground.

It wasn't so bad at first. Hand under hand, foot under foot. Her descent was slow, but she got closer to her destination with every second. After a while, however, her young girl arms began to tire, and she began to wonder for how much longer she could keep this up.

The more her arms ached, the faster she went, hoping to reach the bottom before her muscles gave out completely. In her haste, she accidently kicked off too hard from the wall and was sent swinging. She screamed, forgetting her need to stay quiet, as she swung out into midair, then back to the castle wall with a thump as her feet reunited with the stone.

Hermione's heart beat heavily in her chest as she attempted to regain her breath. That was way too close for comfort. She climbed more slowly after that, despite her aching muscles.

As she climbed below a third floor window, she could hear people shouting frantically, thus confirming her notion that Harry and Ron were running into trouble as well. Whatever was going on, it was sure to get her friends into huge trouble if they got caught doing it. The corridor just above her was clearly in complete chaos.

Knowing there was nothing she could do to help them but make sure that at least one of them was present to learn their unknown enemy's terms, Hermione kept going. Hand under hand, foot under foot. By the time she reached the ground, her muscled were cramped and sore, but she was alive and unhurt. She used a simple charm to cut off her bed sheet chain near the top, then hid the evidence of her escape in a nearby bush before heading for the Quidditch Pitch.


Remembering Fluffy's weakness, Ron began to belt out the first song that came to mind.

"I've got to get to grips

I don't want to feel like this

Your voice keeps haunting me

I cannot eat or sleep

I'm going crazy in this hazy fantasy

You put a spell on me

Aw but I ain't going down at all," he sang.

The gigantic three-headed dog didn't fall asleep like Ron had hoped, but he didn't attack either. He just sort of stared with his heads tilted to the side, like he wasn't sure about what was going on.

"Everybody's a critic," Ron muttered. "I know The Weird Sisters are different from your usual harp or flute music, but-"

A low growl emitted from the back of Fluffy's throats. The blood drained from Ron's face as he quickly continued to sing.

"So take your hands off me

Tonight I'm breaking free

This is the night

This is the night

So take your hands off me

Tonight I'm breaking free

This is the night

This is the night."

Fluffy sat and cocked all six of his ears to listen as Ron went into the next verse. Ron began dancing around the room as he sang and the oversized canine howled along. Soon the boy found himself climbing onto his duet partner's back, singing all the while. On a whim, Ron flicked his wand first at the door, causing it to burst open, then at the chain that tethered Fluffy to the floor, snapping it in two.

"Onward!" he declared, and Fluffy must have understood, for he bounded out into the corridor. Ron figured that any teacher who spotted them would probably notice the giant dog more than they noticed him, especially considering the fact that nobody expected a student to be crazy enough to ride an angry, oversized, three-headed dog through the corridor. Besides, his Hogwarts robes helped him blend in with Fluffy's fur, and he pulled his hood up over his red hair just to be safe.

They heard the first shouting professor as soon as they reached the end of the corridor, which hadn't taken long with Fluffy's long strides. The woman screamed and began calling for backup. Ron gulped, the stupidity of what he was doing finally setting in.

"Down the stairs, Fluffy!" he muttered into the closest furry ear. A spell whizzed by over his head, presumably an attempt to stop the beast that was hurtling through the third floor. Ron wondered how anyone could possibly miss a target as large as the one he was riding as Fluffy turned abruptly and they found themselves on the Grande Staircase.

There was no time to wait for the staircase to move, so Ron urged Fluffy forward. The great dog leapt from the bottom stair and into the gap that stood before the landing below, and they were flying. As gravity brought them closer to their destination, it became apparent that Fluffy's extra heads made him too top heavy for the stunt. The big black body began tilting forward a bit, causing Ron, who hadn't been anticipating this, to slide down the center neck and crash-land onto the landing while Fluffy fell the rest of the way down to the first floor. Thankfully, it was only one more floor down, so Fluffy was not harmed, but Ron was now on his own.

Quickly, before he could be spotted by any of the oncoming staff members, Ron scrambled to his feet and took off down the second floor corridor. He took a right, then quickly made it a left when he heard voices coming from around the corner. Luckily, this corridor contained the tapestry of the feast that he and his friends had been trying to reach all along. He hurriedly ducked behind it and followed it out of the castle, wondering what sort of adventure the rest of the night would bring.


Harry walked around the perimeter of the Shrieking Shack, trying to decide what would be the best way to get inside. He'd never entered it from the outside before; only from a secret passageway that connected the shack to the Whomping Willow back at Hogwarts. This was the passage that Harry hoped to use tonight in order to get back to the school, but he had to figure out how to get into the building first. It was made to keep people out, so it wasn't as simple as striding through the front door.

After closer investigation, Harry decided that it should be easy enough to climb in through one of the first floor windows, provided he could find a way to remove the boards that sealed them up. Getting rid of wooden boards was generally a very easy task for a wizard, but these particular boards were meant to keep wizards out (and werewolves in), which likely meant there were some charms involved in the boarding up of these windows.

Slowly, Harry reached out a hand and touched the boards that blocked the window he would be focusing on. Clearly, there was no sort of magical shield blocking access to the window. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he cast "reducto" at the wood, and was surprised, and relieved, when the rotting wood crumbled instantly.

Not wanting to take any chances, Harry tossed a rock through the hole he had just made. It clattered onto the floor unharmed, so he climbed in after it and found himself in a dusty room with peeling wallpaper and a broken chair shoved into the corner. The only light came from the window Harry had just unblocked, and that wasn't much considering it was still dark out. All in all, the Shrieking Shack was exactly how he remembered it.

Harry walked over to the passageway's entrance, the floor creaking beneath him with every step. Finally satisfied that nobody could see him, he lit the tip of his wand before heading into the dark tunnel before him. The passage smelled earthy, and puffs of dirt kept falling into Harry's hair, but before he knew it, he was hitting the knot on the base of the Whomping Willow and heading off to where he hoped his friends were waiting for him.

When Harry reached their designated meeting place, Hermione was already there waiting for him. He let out a sigh of relief and greeted her with a hug. She looked as tired as he felt.

"Harry, thank goodness!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm glad you made it. Has Ron shown up yet?" Harry asked.

Hermione had a guilty look on her face. "I haven't seen him. Oh, I'm so sorry, Harry! The plan completely fell apart."

"It's okay, we all knew there wasn't a sure-fire way to get us all out here. At least two of us made it."

"Yes, but Ron's probably in really big trouble!"

"What do you mean? I mean he may have been given a detention or something…"

"Well, did you cause a big raucous on the third floor?" Hermione asked, a hopeful tone to her voice.

"No…"

"I was afraid of that. Ron may be in danger of expulsion."

"What-?"

But before Hermione had time to explain herself, Ron came up and joined the group.

"Thank goodness!" Hermione exclaimed before wrapping her arms around Ron.

"You know, in retrospect," Ron began. "We probably should have just come out here earlier and waited until nightfall."