Chapter 8
Some weeks into February and the Marauders began to disappear again. This time Lily didn't stay up late. She knew they were gone though. She would find scratches and some bruises over them. Again Lily wad determined not to mention anything. James would be the one to tell her.
On the particular night Lily was in the Head Room. It was late and she couldn't sleep. She was about to go Madam Pomfrey for a sleeping potion, when the Marauders walked in. Lily looked at her watch; it was early-not even midnight.
She noticed that Remus again wasn't with them.
James' nose was bleeding and he had scratches running on the back of his neck. Sirius had scratches on his cheek. Lily didn't say anything instead she went to the cupboard and took out murlap essence and some dried bandages. Quietly she put them on the table.
"Night," she told them.
She was opening the door when Peter came in. He seemed fine and Lily left.
She was frustrated. Her wand in her hand, Lily picked her robes and ran. She was upstairs, down corridors until she was lost. Breathing hard she opened door after door exploring. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. She knew that being in the same room with James would make her temper rise. Lily was known for red-headed temper and it wasn't pretty.
A door caught her eye. Lily was sure she had never spotted that door in seven years. The door was marble white for one with golden handles to pull the door open.
Curious Lily opened the door, to be struck dumb by what she saw.
The room was the size of an average classroom, but that was where all other similarities ended. The room was set out as a theater. The floor leading to the stage was carpeted in a rich red. The walls were marbled in green emerald. A chandelier hanged from the center of the ceiling, it was at that moment that Lily recognized the place. The roof was painted with all sorts of steps and positions for ballet.
Lily smiled. She had been eleven the last time she had been to the theater. She moved toward the stage and found a turntable and all sorts of music records. Lily looked through until she found one she knew. The room held a changing room and it took an effort in her part to stop from squealing in happiness when she saw the outfits, the ribbons the slippers!
She chose the green outfit and quickly changed, when she got to the turntable she set the record to play. Immediately the chandelier dimmed and soft light focused on Lily. Nervous, she took a deep breath. When the song began to play she was ready.
Stop, glide, step. Now twirl, jump, and splits, land on toes and back to gliding. Step, twirl away from arms, bend to the knee and jump, smooth landing…
She stopped telling her body to move. She focused on the song, the melody, the message. It was then that Lily realized her mistake. Her choice of music was wrong. Lily and her mother used to dance to that song it was theirs only. Her mother had taught it to Lily and Lily had promised never to dance it alone.
She didn't falter in her step as she reflected. She was alone now.
Alone…with mother dead! The only one who understood my passion for school, for magic, for dancing was her mother. The mother, who had made Lily the biggest chocolate cake for her return home when she was eleven, was dead. The one who had made her practice hours and hours to Petunia's piano playing, that woman was dead. Now there was nothing holding her together with Petunia. Mum was the only one keeping us together. Father understood that we were different and he tried to separate us.
Her thoughts turned to James and she didn't believe the transformation her life had made with the boys. She had gone from hating James, and now the Marauders were part of her family, all in a few months. Lily smiled in remembrance of their fights. James never raised his wand to curse her, only to disable her, or stop her. He had gone as far as putting a memory charm on her. She had hated him. He represented everything that she hated in a person.
He was arrogant, selfish, a liar, a prankster, a bully, he didn't respect authority, or privacy, or other human beings, he didn't hold anything sacred, above all he had the charm to just get out of trouble. Lily had fallen for him, flaws, and all. She had fallen for his charm and good looks. She loved his laugh, his smile, the fact that she made him happy. The way his eyes changed color and deepened when he saw her. She had fallen for the way he cocked his head when he was being arrogant. She had especially fallen for the way his hand went through his hair and messed it up.
She liked the way he thought and how he reacted when Lily said something argumentative. He was great coming for ways for Lily to have a ceremony for her mother, trying to find a way to convince Lessa and Leidianna that they were wrong. Her mother had looked at her friends and said that they would stay true, and they hadn't waited until Lily had stopped grieving before insulting her.
Her mother.
She had laughed at Lily. "I'll be there don't worry," her mother had said. "I'll see you leave Hogwarts and I'll see you being handed down the isle!"
"Promise?" Lily had asked many times.
"I promise."
'Now she never will,' Lily thought. She let the tears fall; she had been unaware of them. Her body was growing hot from the exercise, her heartbeat was increasing, and she still danced.
Lessa and Leidianna believe me to be a Mudblood. The people I have trusted for seven years were ready to believe the worst of her' Lily smiled bitterly: the people she had expected to treat her so turned to be the more valuable than her friends did.
Now the only person she trusted above all was James Potter.
It rattled her sense as she realized that James did not trust her, the thought hit hard and true. She stumbled and fell. For the first time in years Lily pulled her knees to her chest hugged them to her body and sobbed. She had stopped having her hysterical cries years ago. Now Lily wept. She let her hair fall around her face and let the tears splash the stage floor.
"Well, James did say you were inspiring when you danced."
Lily looked up, looking for the speaker. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" She asked wiping her face.
"I got tired of being with the guys and so decided to follow you."
"Please go away," she pleaded.
"Not unless you tell me what is the matter?"
"Nothing," Lily said standing up and heading for the door.
Sirius held her by the arm. "I've known you long enough Lily to know that it never sis nothing," he looked at her. "For seven years I've never seen you this distraught. Not when you failed at something or when you were embarrassed by one of us." Lily scowled. "Not even when James told Wo- told the rat to crawl into your bowl."
"He told the rat? What do you mean he told the rat?"
"You know James," he said avoiding the question and Lily's questioning gaze. "Even when your mother died, James said that you held yourself together. When Lessa and Leidianna called you a – a …"
"A slut," Lily finished.
"Yeah, that, you were angry at what they had said about your mother, which is understandable since she just died, but otherwise you aren't the average hysterical girl."
"What's the point, Sirius?"
"My point is that you are crying so hard that it must be because of something bigger than nothing. What is it?" he asked kindly.
Lily sighed and crumpled to the ground, Sirius followed suit.
"I'm in a well, Sirius. I was looking inside and I fell. I fell in deep and there are no stairs to climb back out. I'm not scared of being there, but that someone will build them for me."
"You are talking about James." It wasn't a question.
"Yes, I am scared." Lily said quietly.
"That he will break up with you?" he asked.
"No, but that I don't, I won't mean anything to him."
"Look, I know James and James may be a flirt and an idiot but when he is with someone he respects that person, he doesn't fool around, he cares for that person," Sirius said truthfully. "And Lily if there is one person that means anything to James it's you. You with your stubbornness and your long resistance to his damn charm it's what he loves."
"He doesn't trust me," she said. "That's a fact." Sirius remained silent.
"I've noticed that Remus doesn't go out in your outing," Lily said carefully watching Sirius for a reaction. Sirius faced Lily searching to see how much she knew.
"Don't ask me what Remus does with his time, Lily. It's not for me to tell."
"Fine, tell me about Padfoot."
Sirius shook his head with a smile. "What's there to tell?"
"Come on Sirius, you are the dog."
Sirius faced Lily and held her gaze, neither backed down. Lily stared back determined.
"I'm an Animagus," Sirius said at last.
He showed her.
