This isn't my favorite chapter but it's necessary...thanks for reading/reviewing/tweeting :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lauren regained some semblance of composure before dialing the local pizza shop and ordering delivery for two pepperoni pizzas. She paid with her personal credit card and gave explicit instructions for the driver on which elevators to use, which floor and which room to locate for delivery. The pizza guy repeated the instructions, giving Lauren hope that there would be no issue in navigating through the hospital when he arrived.
She locked up her office and used the restroom before returning to Jane Doe's room. Thoughts of her newly scheduled date overwhelmed the doctor's mind. She had a date with Bo Dennis, and she felt every bit of nervousness as a girl going to senior prom. Memories of that kiss at the fire station reminded Lauren of the incredible mix of Bo's tenderness and confidence. She couldn't deny the cravings to experience it again. And when Bo whispered in Lauren's ear calling her doctor, the seduction and want dripping from Bo's voice escalated Lauren's prom-like jitters to full blown honeymoon desires.
With a forced determination, Lauren compartmentalized her personal feelings occupying her mind and pushed them aside to focus on her patient's care. She returned to the critical care unit and proceeded down the rather long hallway to her Jane Doe's room. Upon entering the room, Lauren stepped quietly around her patient's bed and looked over the young woman. She was barely awake.
"Pizza on its way?"
Her words were quiet and spoken with a groggy undertone. Lauren knew her patient was fighting off the need for sleep. The woman had curled up in the still sloped bed and had wrapped around a pillow. It was adorable, like a child cuddled with a teddy bear. Lauren reached for the bed remote and lowered the bed a little flatter to give the patient a more comfortable surface for sleep.
"Yes, pizza is on its way."
"Excellent. Wake me when it gets here. I don't want to miss out."
Lauren nodded in agreement to wake the young woman once the pizza arrived. For someone so physically injured, she maintained an incredible sense of humor. Jane Doe sunk deep into her pillows as her breathing fell into an even pattern. Lauren took the opportunity of this quiet time to refresh the digital medical charts in the computer and read over some results of earlier tests. The initial toxicology report came back clean except for a little alcohol but that was not a big concern for the doctor. The radiologist's report on the newest cat scan showed the swelling by the girl's temple had decreased from the original scan taken when she was first admitted. Lauren rechecked the woman's vitals and recorded a strong heartbeat and clear lungs. Overall, the doctor was quite pleased with results reflecting progress.
Her patient's eyes were still so swollen that even when awake, only one fully opened. Visually skimming over her patient's beaten body, Lauren's attention was caught at the deep purple, almost black, bruise on the woman's neck. The colors were very unpleasant, and she recalled seeing similar shades of contusions many years ago. She rubbed her eyes vigorously before removing her stethoscope from her ears and draping it around her neck. Lauren walked to the other side of the patient's bed and plopped down in the recliner as her legs felt unsteady. She leaned forward in the chair and rubbed her eyes again, trying desperately to fight off the invading memory. The thought was too strong however, and Lauren's mind flashed back to a memory deeply rooted in her relationship with Stephanie: a memory that began her quest to help survivors of abuse.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Flashback – 5 years prior
Lauren strolled through the police station, issuing a polite smile or voicing a simple hello to the many familiar faces she had come to recognize on each visit to Stephanie's desk. She had come to her girlfriend's workplace at various times for two years now and her presence became a familiar sight to many officers and detectives. One gentleman even assumed she was an undercover officer, and Tamsin fed the uni fake stories about Lauren seducing drug lords to bag her criminals until Steph found out and put a stop to it.
Lauren crossed the threshold into the special victim's division, which was unusually quiet for mid-day. Stephanie's long blonde hair cascaded against her face as her head was down, mentally focused on the case file laid out before her. Lauren noticed Tamsin's empty desk and assumed she was probably taking a cat nap in the bunk room. Lauren grabbed an empty chair and wheeled it ten feet to Stephanie's desk, where she sat down and waited patiently for Steph to look up. Her girlfriend had been so focused on the case that she didn't recognize Lauren's arrival until she cleared her throat. Stephanie's gaze shifted from a rather grotesque looking photo on her desk to the beautiful brown swirls in Lauren's eyes.
Surprised at the visit, Stephanie smiled at the doctor before her.
"Lauren! God, you're a sight for sore eyes. What a nice surprise."
Lauren smiled at seeing her girlfriend for the first time in a week. Stephanie had bags under her eyes and her shirt was overly wrinkled. They both were experiencing a rather hectic schedule in their respective jobs and hadn't spent time together outside of phone calls. The sight of her girlfriend confirmed she definitely had been overworked again. Lauren placed the bag containing dinner on the desk.
"Hi beautiful. Brought you some dinner, as I figure you are probably living on coffee right now."
Stephanie rubbed her forehead.
"Yeah, and the coffee isn't even that good. Thank you for this," she replied, nodding at the bag as she opened it to peer inside.
"You're welcome. I miss you, and I remember how you get when you have a heavy case. I'm assuming this one is pretty intense?" Lauren asked.
While she didn't like to pry into the world of crime, some cases wore on Stephanie emotionally and Lauren always offered support. Lauren witnessed the tireless efforts of her girlfriend with a few such cases over the past two years. She learned the best ways to help her girlfriend: with food deliveries and an ear to bend. Stephanie rarely used Lauren as a sounding board but accepted the offer when the cases pushed her dangerously close to a breaking point. Steph pushed her bag of food aside and scratched her head. She dropped her shoulders a bit before speaking.
"Honestly Lauren, it's brutal. This poor woman never had a chance. There's a sick bastard out there, and it's my intention to find him and put him away for good."
Lauren formed a painful smile, knowing that the details would be gruesome but her detective girlfriend would not rest until justice was served.
"That's my girl, always fighting for justice."
Stephanie smiled and removed her glasses before rubbing her eyes.
"Yeah, that's me. And to compound things, the vic that was killed had a teenager living with her – who is alive but not in the best of conditions, considering she was also used as a punching bag on more than one occasion. Thankfully she should make a full physical recovery, but I'm having a hell of a time getting help for her once she's released from the hospital. I know she's going to be messed up, and she'll need some around the clock attention for a little while. She can get her life turned around though, you know? She can get out of that cycle of abuse with just a little help. I need a facility that will take her. I just wish I could get through all this bureaucratic red tape."
Lauren listened to Stephanie's words carefully.
"So this teenager was abused too?"
"Yeah, unfortunately."
"What kind of help are you trying to get her?" Lauren asked, curious as to Stephanie's plan.
Stephanie dug through the stack of photos and papers on her desk, pulling a single sheet from the bottom. Lauren caught glimpses of several photos as papers were shuffled around. Being a doctor, she knew those photos were of injuries that were deadly, and she was certain the picture her eyes locked on was not of any living person. The horrible images burned into Lauren's memory and never left. It was one thing for Stephanie to discuss cases, but Lauren never looked at photos of crimes before, especially ones as gruesome as what she just witnessed. Lauren gulped at the thought. Lauren reached for the photo and picked it up carefully, studying the image.
"Uh, hon, you probably don't really want to look at that…"
Stephanie's words were spoken too late. Lauren absorbed every inch of that photo. She knew this picture must be of the deceased woman to which Stephanie had referred. Lauren didn't comment verbally but just stared at it, feeling an anger swell inside that someone could physically hurt someone to the point of death. Stephanie pinched the corner of the photo with her fingers and slowly pulled it from Lauren's hand. She returned it, face down, on the desk. She then handed the single piece of paper to Lauren. The page listed several agencies names and phone numbers, along with Steph and Tamsin's handwritten notes next to each one.
"I basically need to get one of these places to help me out. The problem is not many of them will deal with minors, but the girl is seventeen so I'm trying to persuade a few of them to just help me out when she gets released from the hospital. She can technically be considered an adult, you know? But so far, they're all 'overcrowded' or 'underfunded' or push me off to foster care."
Lauren read over the list. As horrible as it sounded, Lauren's eyes kept shifting back to the desk. While that one photo was flipped upside down, several others were poking out from under other papers. Glimpses of horror. Her stomach turned, not a typical occurrence for a doctor who has seen many gruesome images in person in the ER. To Lauren, these injuries seemed to impact her emotions more than injuries sustained from a car accident or robbery. Seeing those injuries and hearing Stephanie's passion in her efforts to help this woman made Lauren want to help too.
"Mind if I give it a try?" Lauren asked.
Stephanie perked up at the offer.
"Mind? Hell no, I wouldn't mind at all. I'll be forever indebted to you if you can get one of them to budge on this."
Stephanie threw Lauren a flirtatious gaze. Lauren smiled in return, feasting on the connection she felt with the detective. The extra hours Steph worked left Lauren feeling a void when she was home alone, but just this short visit reminded Lauren how her girlfriend truly filled her heart.
"I'll let you know what I can do. Let me go make some calls."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Present day
Tamsin's arrival to Jane Doe's hospital room pulled Lauren's mind out of the past. The patient was still asleep in her hospital bed when Tamsin quietly pulled a chair next to the doctor. Lauren noticed the bags under Tamsin's eyes and how her entire appearance looked like Stephanie's used to when overworked and exhausted. Lauren swallowed her guilt one more time knowing she was partially to blame.
"Hey doc. You looked really deep in thought there."
Lauren smiled. She leaned forward again, her back slightly arched as her elbows rested on her thighs. She kept her voice low as to avoid waking her patient.
"I was, actually. Do you remember that awful case you and Steph worked that involved that sadistic pig over in the River District?"
Tamsin cringed. "Oh yeah, that sick fuck, wish I could forget it."
Lauren continued. "Do you remember when I got that private facility to take in the young woman found living with victim?"
Tamsin nodded as she pulled one leg across the other and leaned back in her chair. She scrunched her brow as she dug for the memory.
"The teenager, right?"
"Yes, she was seventeen."
"Yeah I remember. That place hooked her up. If I remember correctly, she even had a private room. Stephanie and I never could figure out why your powers of persuasion worked better than ours. I told Steph you probably gave them great phone sex to which she instantly shoved me into a wall."
Lauren smirked as she turned her head to look at Tamsin. "Well, neither you nor Stephanie could ever figure it out because I never told either of you that I cut them a fat check on behalf of the Lewis family estate."
Tamsin's mouth dropped open in surprise.
"For real? Shit doc, that was generous. No wonder they always answered your calls and ignored ours. You gave them money. We gave them headaches."
A hushed laughter floated between the two. The truth was Lauren had cut loads of checks over the years. That initial check was served with the purpose to buy a way in for this young girl, but Lauren much preferred to be owed favors rather than to owe favors. Immediately thereafter, she set to work on getting the family estate to provide funding for several local agencies before she even needed their assistance. Even when she didn't need to enlist their services, Lauren was grateful to be able to donate, knowing that a woman somewhere would benefit.
Lauren felt a tear well up, but she forced her smile bigger to fight it off. Tamsin put her hand on Lauren's arm for comfort.
"I know it's hard, doc. I think about her a lot too."
Lauren nodded and took a deep breath. She looked back to her patient's bandages and those deep bruises cast over her body.
"I guess I still have my triggers."
Tamsin took a deep breath and tapped her thumb on her knee repetitively. She breathed deep several times over as if to fight off her own emotions and found her stronger voice from within.
"I do too, doc. But you know my strategy: you gotta go through the processes to deal with it. And you always gotta remember the good. She was one hell of a woman and she definitely made me a better cop. I haven't told anyone this, but after every big bust I have now, I always take a moment to silently tell her that I got 'em because of something she taught me. Makes me feel like I honor her that way, you know? She had a great impact on me. And I know she changed you too. I mean, look at this, if it weren't for the two of you getting involved with each other against my strictest orders, you would have never become the survivor advocate that you are. Your work with these patients…it's admirable, doc. You should be proud. I know she would be."
Lauren squeezed her eyes closed tightly and smiled.
"Well, I have Stephanie to thank for it."
"Yes. Yes you do."
Lauren shifted sideways in the recliner to face Tamsin in the chair next to her.
"Tamsin, I don't want to act like I forgot about her. We were together for four years and I thought we'd be together for sixty. And while four years sounds like such a short amount of time in life, they were four perfect, amazing and wonderful years. You know, I don't remember everything from last night after we left Charlie's, but I do remember you saying I can't pretend like it never happened. I know it sounds completely selfish but remembering, well, remembering all of it hurts. A lot."
Tamsin looked to the ceiling before returned her attention to Lauren.
"It's not selfish, doc. It's just easier in that moment for you, and I know it hurts like hell. But you know, in the long run, it just makes it worse. I mean, here we are, three years later and, well, no offense doc, but I'm not the one falling down drunk at the bar sending drunk texts to my best friend because I haven't faced my demons. I know everyone heals in their own way but you haven't even tried to heal. Not until now, anyway…"
Lauren looked at Tamsin again and grasped the depth of her words. She felt extremely vulnerable. This was the most conversation she shared about Steph in three years. It felt honest for a change; painful, but honest. While Tamsin's words pushed Lauren out of her comfort zone, she knew she needed to hear it. It was time to face her demons, and this was, by far, the first and very monumental step forward she had attempted. She smiled weakly at Tamsin, afraid the tears may spill over at any moment. Seeing the exhaustion in Tamsin's face reminded Lauren of her inappropriate behavior from the night before.
"Tamsin, about last night, I'm so sorry about…"
Tamsin raised her hand in protest.
"We're good doc. You opening up to me just now…that's more apology than I could have ever asked for."
Lauren pierced her lips together and nodded. The emotions were difficult for Lauren to admit in the company of others, even to Tamsin who had been in her life for a good decade. Strangely, telling that story wasn't as bitter as she anticipated. Feeling the raw emotions of the moment caused a lot of pain inside, but her best friend's support provided her the strength to face it. Maybe this was a positive step in the healing process.
"Thank you Tamsin, for everything," Lauren whispered.
A perfectly timed interruption stopped Lauren from any additional apology. She had kept her tears inside and while her hangover may be showing slightly in her appearance, the sadness of the moment did not. The door swung open when Darci shuffled in carrying two large pizzas and a stack of napkins.
"Found your pizza guy wandering down the hallway. I believe these are for you."
"Yes, thanks Darci," Lauren replied as she stood to accept the pizzas.
Darci closed the door as she left the room. Tamsin shuffled a few items around to clear a small space on a table to place the pizza boxes. The smell of spicy pepperoni and cheesy baked goodness permeated the airspace, quickly stirring the sleeping patient.
"Mmmmm, my pizza is here." The waking patient stretched her legs out as she inhaled deeply.
Lauren handed one pizza box to Tamsin and kept the other one firmly in her possession.
"Yes, your pizza is here. Now, as your doctor, I must advise you against eating such things on a regular basis."
Lauren placed the whole pie on the patient's lap and flipped open the lid. She also handed her a stack of napkins. "Chow down."
The young woman's bruised swollen eyes widened as she reached for her first of many slices.
"Come to mama!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A comfortable hour of conversation accompanied the consumption of greasy pizza. Lauren introduced Tamsin as a friend but casually omitted the fact that she was also law enforcement. Initially the young woman kept fairly quiet but Tamsin carried the gift of gab. Lauren didn't know if it was years of police work or years of picking up women that gave Tamsin all her angles of approach during conversation, but Lauren was definitely impressed. Tamin gathered information without every really making her patient answer hard questions. She simply talked like they were old friends, and it allowed her patient to make comments comfortably that afforded them key details about the woman's life. A conversation about movies led the young woman to recall a time when she had visited a movie theater and all the snacks were only one dollar. A change in topics to discuss the cheese quality on the pizza spurred the woman to mention a pizza she once ate that had french fries on it. The stories went on an on. Lauren paid close attention to every word of the discussion and she was hopeful some detail would move them one step closer to finding her identity.
Tamsin kept the conversation topics light, but as the hour passed and the pizza was all consumed, Lauren noticed a change in her patient's comfort level. She was restless and shifted in the hospital bed more so than usual. Her participation in the conversation lessened until the general chit chat being held consisted of Tamsin's and Lauren's voices only. The young woman began fidgeting with her hands, much like Bo did earlier in Lauren's office when she was nervous.
Lauren wiped her hands on a napkin as she felt the consumed pizza working magic on her hangover. She stood up and moved closer to the patient, pulled her stethoscope on and listened to her heart and lungs once more. All sounded normal.
"Are you feeling okay?" Lauren asked her patient.
The young woman looked to Tamsin and then back to Lauren. The life had returned to the blue iris surrounding her pupil but she still exhibited confusion in just her glance. The doctor in Lauren took mental notes with the observation. The young woman shoved the almost empty pizza box from her lap to the foot of the bed.
"Honestly doc, no I'm not. I feel like I got hit by a truck. What the hell happened to me? Does anyone know? I mean, really, have you seen this?" She shifted her hospital gown and rolled slightly to expose the back of her thigh. There was a large faded bruise that spanned at least seven inches across. The color indicated it had been healing well but the size of it was massive.
Lauren noticed the young woman picked up on Tamsin's nickname of her. Doc. She spoke it as casually as if she had said it a thousand times prior. Lauren carefully considered how to respond to her patient's questions. She had no viable proof of what exactly happened to the young woman or any information about her identity whatsoever, but she had seen enough of these injuries to know someone beat her to inches within death. Conjuring up the speech she had used so many times in past, she adjusted it mildly as this was her first patient who was both a survivor of an attack and suffering from amnesia.
"Well, to be honest we know very little. Obviously there was an incident of some kind to cause these injuries. While I can speculate on the nature of the cause, we simply don't have any details to confirm it. Someone found you unconscious along the riverbanks. The ambulance brought you here so we could treat you. Thankfully your healing progress is encouraging, but you are obviously aware that you have a slight lapse in some memories. We don't exactly know your name or who you are, but the police are going to do everything they can to find out. The most important thing for you to do is get stronger and that includes eating well and getting sleep, okay?"
Her patient smiled wearily. "Okay. Sleep and pizza: that I can live with."
Tamsin and Lauren laughed. The young girl pulled her gown back down to cover her skin. She grabbed Lauren's hand and leaned forward on the bed.
"Do you think…do you think someone tried to kill me?"
Lauren gulped. The woman's voice reflected sheer terror. Lauren's heart broke as she witnessed the start of the traumatic experience this young woman was about to journey through. And eventually, when the memories did return, Lauren feared for her patient's mental and emotional well being. It took strength for this girl to survive the abuse, but it would take the greatest of strengths to survive the aftermath.
"You're safe here. I promise."
The girl nodded slowly and laid back into her pillows. Breaking the tension, Tamsin stood up quickly and tossed her napkins in the trash. She walked to the patient's bed side and stood opposite of Lauren.
"Well thanks for sharing your pizza with me, little one."
The patient raised one eyebrow. "Little one? Haha nice nickname for me."
Tamsin laughed. "Well, you are little. And I don't have a name for you, so what do you want me to call you?"
The young woman perked up and carefully considered the question.
"Hmmm, I'll think about it and let you know."
"Okay, well until then, I'm calling you little one."
The young woman's fear had faded as the smile returned to her face. "Okay. You call me little one then. I'm going to give you a nickname too. I'm going to call you Robocop."
Both Lauren and Tamsin looked surprised.
"Robocop?" Tamsin asked.
The patient yawned and her one open eye began to water. She dabbed the tears with the corner of her hospital gown.
"Yeah, Robocop. You dress like a cop."
Tamsin looked to Lauren who wore a dumbfounded expression on her face.
"I'm in a suit." Tamsin stated.
The patient rolled slightly in her bed as she searched for a comfortable position.
"Exactly. A suit with a bulge under your jacket – I'm assuming from your side arm. And your necklace is as shield, captain obvious. So yeah, you scream cop, unlike doc here, who looks like she's on vacation and reeks like she raided the hotel mini bar. So yeah…Robocop."
Impressed with the woman's observation skills, Tamsin just shook her head and smiled. Lauren shrugged her shoulders, uncertain how to even respond.
"Get some sleep," Tamsin directed.
"Yes now that I have filled my belly, I think it's time for my beauty rest."
The young woman adjusted her position one more time and cuddled against her pillow again. Lauren gathered up the pizza boxes and tossed them in the trash on the way out of her patient's room. Tamsin followed Lauren downstairs to the first floor where they proceeded to Lauren's office. The dedicated doctor felt the need for sleep but rallied against it as she swiped her badge to grant them entrance. Tamsin closed the door behind her and sunk into a visitor's chair. Lauren returned to her oversized desk chair and had a pleasant flash of Bo's visit earlier that day. She suppressed her smile before comparing notes with Tamsin.
"I can't believe she made me for a cop. Makes me think she's had other run-ins with cops before, so I'll put in another rush request on those prints. I'll bet ya fifty bucks she has a record. I like her though, she's got spunk. Who the hell would hurt her like that?"
Lauren shook her head. "I don't know Tamsin. I'm hoping you can find out but my money is on an asshole boyfriend or maybe a pimp? I guess it could be anyone though. Those injuries are so brutal. Her injuries reflect all out rage. Maybe someone did try to kill her. It's just horrible. Did you gather anything useful out of our conversation up there?"
Tamsin stretched, revealing her exhaustion.
"Actually yeah I did. So there are a few cheap theaters around town that have dollar snack bars, so I'll have the guys in special victims run a list. And the comment about the french fries on the pizza…I actually know that place."
"You do?" Lauren asked.
"Yep. They serve it at a dive pizza shop on the north end. They call it french fry pie. I dated this chick who liked it."
"Why am I not surprised? Well I'm glad your broad spectrum of dating habits taught you something that would be useful in a case."
"Hey now!"
"Sorry Tam. So do you think she could be from the north end area then?"
Tamsin nodded. "It's possible. I read the report from the officers who found her. The riverbank where she was found is near that area. Unfortunately it's not a really great neighborhood. A lot of criminals, a lot of unknowns. Once her bruising heals a little more on her face, you think I can take a new photo to use for canvassing the area and show it around? See if anyone recognizes her?"
Lauren agreed. "Yeah just set up a time to send the station's photographer over and I'll clear it with her once she's feeling up to it."
Lauren looked at her phone to check the time. It was already going on seven. Her actual shift didn't start for another four hours but she still needed to rest. The pizza moved her past the hangover and into a food coma. She was feeling the effects. Tamsin's yawn mirrored Lauren's thoughts exactly.
"Time to sleep?" Lauren asked Tamsin.
Tamsin stood from her chair with a smirk on her face. She stretched her arms to the ceiling to release some tension in her back.
"Yep. You see, a friend of mine got me out of bed pretty late last night, so I only slept a handful of hours before I went to work today."
She ended her statement with a wink that brought an apologetic smile to Lauren's face.
"I told you I would grovel," Lauren replied.
Tamsin shook her head. "No groveling. I know you, and I'm sure you feel guilty as hell."
"You would be correct," Lauren replied.
"Well, when you don't feel as guilty, I'll fill you in on all the details…from the time I dragged your ass in the house until the time you fell asleep in the bed."
Lauren's eyes widened in fear of what she did or didn't do. She covered her face with her hands.
"Oh God. Am I going to be extremely embarrassed?"
"Doc. You. Have. No. Idea."
Tamsin's wicked laugh made Lauren swear she would never drink that much bourbon ever again. And if she did, she would certainly not call Tamsin.
"Well I woke up clothed, so that's a bonus, but why do I feel like I am never going to live this down?"
"And on that note, I'm going home to sleep. You have a great shift tonight. Let's connect for breakfast some morning after you finish work some time next week."
"Sounds good Tam."
Tamsin left Lauren's office, allowing the doctor a few moments of quiet time. She decided that four hours was plenty of time for a nap before she began her shift. With that, she made her way to a small private sleeping room on the other side of the main level and swiped her badge to gain access. As she laid down to rest, Lauren laughed quietly at her choice of a polo shirt and khaki pants. I really am dressed for a day at the mall. One of the many perks of being a doctor was she would always have the option to shower and get clean scrubs at the hospital: both of which were on the docket after her nap. She set the alarm on her phone and within minutes, slipped into sleep.
