a/n to guest reviewer, I wasn't able to respond because it was a guest but I wanted to explain the story. I am guessing you haven't read becoming free or maybe even born free. This story is a side story to Becoming Free. Lara didn't willing have Sam's baby. Lucifer was trying to impregnate her while wearing Sam and basically she got lucky that it was Sam's kids and not Lucifer's. In this story she doesn't meet Dean until she is already pregnant. The children thing does suck but she was giving birth in not the best of circumstances and there were complications. Sorry that you don't like the story thus far but if you do read this I hope it makes more sense. I suggest reading Becoming Free to get a better of idea of where this story came from.
Dean's POV
I hate having to leave the camp. It wasn't that hard to do six years ago before Lara and eventually Samantha came into my life but now it's painful. I had nothing to lose before them, now I have everything to lose. Which is one of the reasons we still do these missions.
We have to check the wards and the area surrounding us for threats and we do that quite regularly. Different groups take turns patrolling the area but those jobs don't take that long. These types do. We still need supplies. Despite the generous donation that the angelic Gabriel gave us years back we still need things. We have started farming and that has helped. We don't need to leave nearly as often and I never thought I would love fresh produce but it's amazing what years of canned peaches will make you like. There are other things we need still though. Small things like soap and toilet paper. Then there are bigger things like penicillin and morphine. Then the most important thing, salt. Spray paint and chalk are a close second to the most important thing but salt by far is. We have a stock pile of salt that is needed to protect our camp from what is still out there. Gabriel is convinced that we can outlive the Croats then in the future we can start taking out the demons until we can take back the world that was ours. I still don't know if I believe that but regardless I need to protect my family and my camp. So we go out and we get what we can. It's been years now since the cities have fallen and survivors have moved to remote camps and all the towns near us are depleted of our most important resources. So I have taken us further and further from home. This mission will probably take us three weeks to a month. I hate being gone that long but I know the importance of these missions.
"Dean over there!" Cas yells at me from the passenger seat of my truck. He's happily smoking a joint but his window is down and Samantha isn't around so I can't complain. I sometimes wonder how he still finds weed and where he grows it himself but I know better than to try and figure that man out. He's an enigma. I look over where he is pointing and I see a snow emergency center. They may have enough rock salt to keep us safe for years if its full. I motion with my hands outside of the truck window for the rest of the men to follow me.
We pull into the center and all arm ourselves and carefully take in the center. Gabe and Tyr go right Cas and I go left and the rest of the men disperse. After 10 quiet minutes we deem it clear and start to search for supplies.
This place is a gold mine. Their rock salt has hardly been touched and this will keep us safe for a long time. We don't have enough vehicles to even get it back so we check some of the trucks and luckily they are working.
The rest of the afternoon is spent loading truck after truck. "Tyler, Zac, Rob, and Larry I want you guys to go ahead and take these trucks back now. I don't want to risk anything happening to them while we look for more supplies." No one questions me and they get ready to head back. Before the leave I walk up to Tyler and hand him two letter. "Hey man can you give this to Lara and Samantha when you get back?"
"Sure thing boss!" He replies with a smile and jumps up into his truck. I know its sappy but I miss them and I want them to know I think about them. I know it's just as hard for them as it for me. Both my girls have horrible nightmares and I know they are better when I am home. I feel guilty leaving them there to deal with them. We know that Samantha's aren't quite nightmares but visions. Lara and I have her write and draw them out in a journal we got her by her bed now so we can keep track of them. Lara's aren't so easily handled though. She sometimes wakes up and is completely unaware where she is and is wreck until I can calm her down.
The men head out at my command. It's still strange being a leader like this. I spent most my life alone on the outskirts of society. Now all of a sudden I am the end all be all to a small group of survivors. It can be intimidating. "Where should we camp out tonight?" Gabe asks biting into an apple that we brought with us from one of more successful farming test.
The sky is getting darker but we still have probably an hour before we have to worry. "We'll follow this road and stay at the first safe looking house we find." Gabe just shakes his head and we all get back in our vehicles and drive.
It doesn't take long. We hit the town that the snow center must have serviced within 30 minutes. On the outskirts of the town there is a relatively sturdy looking house on an open plot of land that has good views. It will be a good spot to hide out for the night.
We all pull in start getting the place ready for the night. We pour a thin layer of salt down around the windows and doors and put up some traps and come up with the sleeping rotation for the night. Gabe starts making our dinner, he's the best at it of all us so we just trust what he will come up.
When I saw him that day I never thought I would grow to trust him let alone call him my friend. One of the first words out of his mouth was that Samantha wasn't my daughter. He has apologized to me for that many times over the years but I understand what he meant now. I thought it would be nearly impossible to integrate him and the other gods into the camp but they have. Parvati and Shiva tend to be in charge of protection while we are gone on missions. There powers have lessened over time but if a demon gets past the wards they can still incinerate them. If they are overrun they will have help but they can take care of a handful on their own. Tyr is one bad ass mother fucker and I love having him with us on missions like this. He may only have one hand but damn can he fight. It's crazy to think that before all of this happened I may have tried to kill him and now he is one of my best friends.
He does have a total crush on Lara though. He jokes around about it and I know nothing would ever happen but he likes to raze me. Gabe says that Tyr likes her because she looks like the only mortal wife that he ever took. She was a Norwegian women in around the year 200 or so. She and their baby died in childbirth. I can relate to that I almost lost Lara in childbirth. Just a few days ago he caught me looking at her photo. I took it the first day we had the Polaroid when she wasn't looking. She is completely lost in her own thoughts and is smiling to herself. Her hand are resting over Samantha and the light is hitting her face just so from the window. She is stunning in this photo and I like to keep it with me.
"So when is your girl gonna wake up and realize I am way better than you." He asks with a obvious glint of humor in his muddy blue eyes. He flicks is hair out of his eyes. He wears his hair a bit like Sammy only longer and blond. He has it pulled back into a ponytail but his bangs fall out. It really does look like some kind of Viking.
I laugh and put her photograph back in my pocket. "You couldn't handle her even if you got the chance." Zac and Rob give me a worried glance. They aren't used to use joking around and are rightly worried I am going to kill this guy. Honestly only Tyr and Cas could get away with this kind of joking and if it was Cas it would be a bit gross. Well a lot gross his vessel is her father!
He leans back his head and lets out a roaring laugh "That is probably true. I've heard you guys." I punch his arm. "We're not that bad." I mumble back pretending to be mad.
"NOT THAT BAD! Half the camp sleeps with ear plugs because of you two!" HIs eyes are filled with laugher. He looks to Zac and Rob. "Come on you guys know I'm right." They both look down at their feet refusing to respond.
I stomp over to them and plant myself at their feet. "Is this true?" I demand putting on my leader voice. They both look up at me and honest to god blush. I start again even harder and walk away and pat Tyr's back. "Yea good luck with ever wooing her away from me. I want to see you top that, especially with one hand." I say with a wink.
"Oh this one hand can more than make up for what she's put up with your sloppiness over the years." We continue to razz each other for a bit longer and we all sit down to take a lunch break.
"Hey Tyr?" I say seriously. He looks up at me with all humor gone from his eyes. "You know I was just kidding man I would never try to hook with her. I'd be a fool to think I even could. I just like to joke around with you."
I smile and shake my head. "That's not it. I just want you to promise if anything ever happens to me you'll take care of her. I know that Cas and Gabe will but just promise ok?" He shakes his head and grabs my hand and does the man shake. "I swear man." If anything happens to me I need a strong line up of people to protect her.
Lara. Just thinking her name makes me miss home. I go into living room and leave the rest of the men to their dinner and take a moment for myself. I can hear their laughter has they talk about things that have happened on hunts and other past war stories. I pull out my wallet. It used to hold money, fake ids, and fake credit cards. I mostly held onto it out of habit but now it does have a function. It holds a few pictures and letters.
Sammie drew me a picture a few years back and I wrap it up with the pictures in my wallet. I unwrap her picture and look at it. It's a rather normal landscape. In the foreground is a stop sign with a green street sign that says Second St on it. Behind it is a road then some buildings. On the left is a red brick building with an old coca cola advertisement painted on it and the right side is another red brick building that says hardware store on the top. Written in her messy block writing says. If you see run daddy.
When she first gave this to me I asked her what this was about. She just said I have seen what happens there daddy and you need to run if you see this. She forced me to take the picture with me and made me promise to look at it once a day so I would remember it if I ever say it. Sam has saved us numerous time with her hunches and dreams. Just 4 months ago she made us wait a day before going on a short mission and in doing so we were there for a massive demon attack. If we had left they probably would have broken through the walls. It scares me that my little girl sees theses horrible things in her head but we have come to depend on those visions.
Wrapped in her picture are five photographs. The first one is the picture of Lara when she was pregnant with Samantha. Then I have a close up photograph of Sammie when she was 2 years old. She is making a funny face at the camera. It is one of my favorite pictures of her. Behind it is a family picture of Lara, Samantha, and me. Cas took it outside near the apple tress last fall. The next photos are for my eyes only. The first is a shot of Lara laying out on the bed naked smiling at me. Her hair is spread out under her and her hands are wrapped up in it flung out above her resting on the pillows. We had just made love and I wanted to capture that moment so I could take it with me on a mission. I snapped up the camera and she laughed at me and smiled for the photo anyways. The photo beneath it might be even a bit more risqué but in this world I take whatever few happy things I can get. We were wrapped up into each other one night. I was sitting down and she was in my lap with her legs wrapped around me and we were naked and kissing amongst other things. We had the Polaroid next to the bed and I just picked it up and snapped a quick shot. Neither of us are looking at the camera. Our eyes are closed and we are just lazily kissing each other. Our bodies are fused together and it even a blind man could tell how in love we are. When I'm gone like this it's not like I can pick up a phone and call her. These are all I have.
I hated leaving her this time more than most. She hasn't been feeling well these last few days. She's been so tired, pale and anytime she so much as looked at food she puked. I told her I would push the trip back but she assured me that she would be fine and Jane promised to stay with her. I was alright with not having our traditional pre-mission sex-a-thon but she insisted on at least trying. We actually managed without any problems but it was calmer and quieter than normal. I know she is in good hands with Jane and she would never allow anything bad to happen to her. Samantha gave me a big hug and a kiss before I left and told me not to worry that mommy would be fine. Again I know I shouldn't put all my faith in her but she hasn't been wrong yet.
Gabe has been working on teaching her how to use psychic abilities and it's been slow going. She's only five! Her visions are a bit spotty but if she says something is going to happen at a certain time it does. But most of her visions are timeless. She has seen things that happened in the past and things that haven't happened yet and we have no clue when they will. Sam sometimes sees things in mine and Lara's past and that is always a bad night. She wakes up screaming and we have to bring her to our bed and hold her the rest of the night. She should never have to see the things that her mother and I went through. No child should. Just like her Papa Sam's dreams having them means she can avoid the outcomes. Many people have survived because of what she saw.
Samantha hates it when I leave and I started to leave her with my amulet that Sam gave me for Christmas all those years ago. Every time I leave I put it around her neck and kiss her forehead and tell her the same thing. "Keep this sweetie and daddy will come back for it soon." Just a few days ago I took it off my neck and put it around her and told her the same things. She looks so much Lara but I see a lot of Sam in her too. It's mostly her hair and eyes. Her facial features are small like Lara's but those two things take after my brother.
"Hey Dean remember that time... oh fuck was that seven years ago... when we found that demon stuck in one of our traps in the walmart?" Cas yells out to me. I smile thinking of that day and walk back into the kitchen.
The next morning we all load up but decide to use this house again for the next few days while we work out way through the small town. It's nice to not have to lay down wards and salt every night but to just keep one base for at least a few mile radius.
When we take in a town we are quiet at first. We don't know what is there. Do demons reside here? Is there a horde of Croats just waiting for us behind a building? We don't know so we are cautious. We've lost enough people over the years and it's my goal to keep the numbers as low as possible.
Luckily there is a Exxon station at the beginning of town and we are able to raid it for maps. Of course Gabe hits up the candy isle and is over dosing on Hershey's before I can even blink but I know he'll bring back enough for the kids at the camp. All the kids love him because he practically bleeds candy and is such a big kid at heart. Bastard has gotten my own little girl addicted to Reese's cups. We all grab some garbage bags and fill them with everything that we can grab in the store. Gabe holds up a plastic bag in front of my face. "These are for Samantha make sure she gets them." I look into the bag and sure enough all the Reese's products that could fit are in there.
"Thanks Gabe these shouldn't rot her teeth out or anything." I retort sarcastically. Jesus when did I become that guy? I used to eat, drink, and fuck my way through the United States. Now I am worried about my little girls teeth! "Ok guys get over here." Cas, Tyr, Gabe, James, and Steve come around me.
I pull out the maps and circle different areas for each team. Cas and I, Tyr and Gabe, and James and Steve are the teams. I break the town up in to quadrants and we will take a few days to go through all the stores and homes to see what we can get. If we are lucky we can use this place a few trips in a row to get stuff before it's depleted. If we are lucky Chuck will have a field daj when we get back because of all the supplies we bring him.
Cas and I take our quadrant and start going through the buildings. I broke it down so we all hit the stores and the houses. We can always use things like new clothes, beddings, and pots and pans. With winter coming quilts will help keep everyone warmer which is important especially with all the new kids. Lara could use some new shirts too the last I took notice. She likes to steal my things anyways but it couldn't hurt. God she looks sexy in nothing but one of my button ups, her hair all sex tussled, and her lips slightly swollen from kissing me. FOCUS DEAN! Ok so clothes. We could also use more kids clothes. The baby clothes get puked on so frequently that they only make it through a few kids not to mention what they do with the toddler clothes. They all get holes in the knees and grass stained. It's amazing how much happier the camp is with the sounds of kids laughing though.
The homes have a lot of supplies that we can use. We pack up suit cases of clothes and food at each house and leave them on the door step so we can come back through with our trucks later and get them. We even find quite a bit of medicine. Jane and Lara will be happy when we get back with this stuff. We have antibiotics, Neosporin, tons of Band-Aids, not to mention some hardcore pain pills.
After going through about 5 homes we head into the main part of town and take in some of the shops and look at a few apartment buildings. "Dean let's take a lunch break." Cas says sitting down on the ground pulling out his cigarettes. "You sure you don't mean cigarette break?" I laugh back at him.
Cas rolls his eyes and pulls out a sandwich and gives me a shit eating grin. "No Dean I mean lunch. You want?" He extends a sandwich out to me. I take a bite and walk around a bit. I don't feel like sitting down and getting to comfortable yet.
"I'm gonna just take a look around Cas." I tell him as I walk around the square. It's not quite winter it's still fall and it's an oddly nice day. The leaves have started to change and it's not too cold yet. I can see a few different stores that should be able to help us. There is a grocery store, shoe store, hardware store, and a... wait a minute.
I slowly turn back around and it feels like déjà vu. A hardware store. I don't have to pull out my wallet to recognize this, Samantha has made me memorize it. To my left is a red brick building with an old coca cola ad. To my right is a hardware store. I am actually at the stop sign at second street.
The instructions were clear. Daddy if you see this run. My legs start to pivot and I am ready to take off running. Before I can run I see a demon in my path. He is right in front of me with his black eyes. He wouldn't be menacing if a demon wasn't residing in him. He is smaller than me and weighs less than Cas. "Hello Dean." It sneers out.
"Cas!" I yell out. He jumps up from his spot but I can tell it's too late. They are already here and there are just too many of them. I lose count at 15. I am fucked. They surround me like locust and they are all around me.
Cas runs toward me and I know he is going to join the fight but they are after me not him. "RUN CAS!" I shout out. The demons keep moving closer and closer to me and I have nowhere to run. "CAS GET OUT OF HERE!"
"Not a chance in hell Dean!" He screams back at me has the encircle me. Their weapons are now drawn. I fire at random but it won't do much. There are just too many of them and bullets do nothing. "CAS TELL LARA AND SAM I LOVE THEM!" I shout to him.
Cas freezes in spot and looks me right in the eye. We both know it's over. I can see it in his eyes. I am dead. The demons raise their clubs and now they are so close to me that I can't see Cas anymore. "TELL THEM CAS!" I shout one more time.
The first demon I saw snickers at me. "When we are done with you I am going to find your girls Dean. I am going to fuck your woman until she begs me to kill her and then some. I am going to make her pay for what she did to our father. Maybe I'll keep her alive for a bit and pass her around the men for a few years. Then I am going to take your baby girl and bring her home with us and turn her into what she was meant to be." Before I can respond they are on me.
I feel their clubs hit me first. I fall to my knees still shooting and thrashing just hoping to take a few of them out with me. I had six good years. No six great years. It made up for all the shit years before that and it makes this ok now. I can die knowing I had Lara for six years and had my baby girl for five, it was worth it. I love you Lara is the last thought on my mind as it all goes black.
a/n leave a review if you get a chance.
