REWRITTEN 9/4/15
Zombies and the Military
"Aw, yes! This is going to be fun!" I crowed happily, punching my fist in the air. The munchers poured out of the nearby woods, and more staggered down the wide road towards us. Overhead, the helicopters circled closer.
"You have a strange definition of fun," Onyx told me. "But then again, so do I." Her hair danced as she transformed into her horse form, the chopping helicopter blades and the hungrily groaning zombies almost drowning out her words. My eyes throbbed painfully under the onslaught of sound.
"Time to make some chaos," I said to myself, tapping my fingers together like an evil genius. I barely held back the malevolent chuckle.
My fighting strategy was to blow shit up, so I started flinging fireball after fireball into the ranks of the undead. Red pillars erupted from the road, flinging charred arms and clouds of dark ash into the air. Whirling orange blades sung across the distance, slicing through bodies as if they were made from paper.
"Having fun?" Onyx asked with a smirk.
"You know it."
The three of us started forward, heading for the main threat. Minka was unarmed, but that didn't seem to faze her. Her fists were clenched tight and her face screwed with concentration.
My foot struck something hard in the snow, and I glanced down, finding a rusted hammer peeking up at me, half buried. A broad grin split my lips as I snatched it up, twirling it in my palm. Nearby, a muncher had separated itself from the back, intending on stealing the prize for itself. I spun the hammer again, sprinting forward and leaping high into the air.
"SMASH OVER THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER!"
I knocked the cold arms out of the way and brought the hammer crashing down on the corpse's skull. The head disappeared up to the handle in brain matter, soft wet flecks spattering my cheeks. I dropped the tool and let it fall to the ground with the unmoving body, an evil cackle issuing from my mouth. I raised and hand and wiped the blood from my face with the back of my glove.
There was a dull thud behind me, and suddenly, cold blood showered down on my head, dripping down my collar. My entire body curled in on itself, seeking to hide from the oily liquid dripping down my spine. There was nowhere to go, though, not unless I wanted to strip completely and scrub myself with snow.
Which I didn't.
Not at that time.
I whirled around, wondering what the hell had happened, hands up and ready to defend myself. A muncher lay facedown on the frozen ground, a sharp metal spike through its skull. Nobody was nearby, but Minka stood about fifteen feet away, feet spread apart and her eyes narrowed down in concentration. As I watched, a rusty bike chain snaked up from under the snow. It leapt through the air and wrapped around a muncher's head, crushing the slowly rotting skull to a pulp.
I ducked sharply as a splintered piece of wood whizzed over my head. The air whined with its passing, and it thudded wetly into a one armed muncher's skull. "Yo! Watch where you're slinging those things!" I yelled at Minka.
"Watch where you put your head!" Minka shot back, killing a muncher with the flick of her wrist and an airborne rock.
I flipped her off as I swayed out of the way of a lurching muncher. Her eye swung wildly from a single thread as she tried to turn and follow me. I shot her through the dark, gory socket with a tiny flame bullet, and she collapsed, strings cut.
Enia, check your feet, Samik advised from inside my head, and I glanced down briefly, scanning the muddy, snowy ground for something out of place.
Oh shit-fuck.
"Duck and cover!" I shrieked and flung myself into the air with a rocky springboard. A small, green ball, oblong in shape, lay in a clean patch of snow, ridges scouring its round sides vertically and horizontally. It was a grenade. It was a fucking grenade. Fucking overkill much, oh great and powerful military men? I hadn't seen it fall, and the thud of the muncher hitting the ground had covered up the noise of the grenade's landing.
How long did they take to blow? Six seconds?
Whatever the number, it was far too short. The grenade exploded moments after my feet left the ground, and I barely had time to swirl my arms and gather a ball of air around myself before the shockwave hit. The force of the rapidly expanding flames threw me violently into the sky, and I tumbled helplessly, the bright reds and oranges flashing dangerously just outside my tiny protection bubble.
"Fuck!" I screamed eloquently, struggling to gain some semblance of control over my wayward flight.
The flames died down, falling away below me, and I could feel myself beginning to slow. I couldn't tell which way was up or down. Everything was white. Curses streamed from my mouth as jets of air blasted for my hands, shooting me off in every direction until I was even more disoriented. I began to fall, the cold air streaking like a set of daggers past my face. Red and yellow clumps danced before me, lurching unevenly.
I was falling towards a mob of munchers.
A mob of flaming munchers.
Fuck.
I thrust my hands towards the ground – finally having figured out which direction was which – but a strong hand grabbed my shirt from above before I could take control of my fall. I jerked to a sudden stop, and the collar dug into my windpipe, burning my skin and cutting off my air. The sleeves of my leather jacket almost dislocated my shoulders when it halted and my body tried to keep moving.
Whoever invented inertia was a moron.
Nobody invented physics, Samik reminded me.
Psychics is a lie, I answered, twisting to try and see who had grabbed me. Their grip was surprisingly strong – my thrashing didn't even cause their fingers to shift. I wasn't flexible enough to crane my neck all the way around, so I let myself hang limp and appraised the situation on the ground.
The mob had swollen like a river after winter. The sound of the battle and the incessant moaning was drawing munchers from every direction, and they poured forth from the forest like drunken ants emerging from a nest, intent on supper. Minka and Onyx were holding their own – better than any two humans could have – but it would only take a single mistake and then the munchers would have them.
More hands grabbed at my shoulders and arms and heaved me a few more feet before releasing me. I hit a cold metal floor and bruised my tailbone. When I looked up, I was surrounded by hostile looking military personnel, their guns trained at my face.
"Hi there," I said brightly. "Thanks for the save, but I had it under control."
I started to stand, but a man with bulky shoulders shoved me back to the floor. He put the barrel of his pistol against my forehead.
"Wow, rude," I quipped before I could stop myself. My mouth was going to get me killed some day.
"What are you doing?" A tall woman with a severe black ponytail stepped forward and glared down at me. She was the only one not pointing a gun at my head.
"Sitting on the floor of a helicopter?"
Samik groaned in my mind.
Macho Lifter jammed his gun into my temple threateningly. I slowly turned my head and glared up at him, ice crystals forming in my eyes.
Boss Lady sighed. "What were you doing down on the ground?"
"Going for a walk," I lied compulsively, smiling. I settled down into a more comfortable position, stretching out my legs, ankles crossed, and leaning back on my hands.
Boss Lady crouched down beside me and stuck her face in mine. Her ice filled stare was as good as my own. "The next time you tell me something ridiculous, I'll have him," she jerked her head at Macho Lifter, "put a hole somewhere in you."
I glared at her, tired of being pushed around. "Do you think any of you scare me?" My eyes narrowed very slightly as I pushed myself forward until my nose practically brushed hers. I was half tempted to kiss her just to see how she would react, but I didn't want to wreck the tense mood.
She watched my eyes without drawing back, searching for something. Searching for any sign that I was about to give. A small, dark smile quirked my lips. "Like what you see?"
Okay, so I wasn't above a little flirtation.
"Major," Macho Lifter prompted, and Boss Lady blinked heavily, drawing away from me. She stood up and wiped away the wrinkles from her pants.
"What?" she demanded.
"What do you want to do with her?"
I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.
"Cuff her. We'll take her back to base for further questioning." Boss Lady turned her back on me.
"That's not going to work out for you," I warned Macho Lifter as he bent to grab my wrists.
He snorted with derision. He just saw me as some teenage girl who thought she was a little too big for her britches, which, while true, was only part of the story.
I snatched his wrist and twisted as hard as I could, the bones grinding beneath my fingers, and as he cried out in pain, I sprung to my feet and flung him into wall. Instantly, the world filled with gunfire. I threw myself to the floor as Boss Lady bellowed out orders. "Stop firing! Stop, you morons! You're going to blow holes in the helicopter!"
The barrage stopped almost instantly. "See ya, suckers!" I yelled and flung myself out of the vehicle and into the open air.
"No!" Macho Lifter cried, snatching ineffectually at me.
I cackled as I fell, twisting over to flip the oh-so-kind military personnel off with both hands. Boss Lady leaned out the open door, strands of her hair escaping her ponytail. She shouted something at me, her expression contorted with anger, but the wind played monkey-in-the-middle with her words and stole them before they could reach my ears.
I flipped back over and knifed towards the ground, gaining speed with each second that passed. Two body lengths from the ground, I somersaulted once and landed on both feet, shockwaves leaping across the earth. The remaining munchers stumbled and fell like dominoes.
"Onyx! Minka!" I shouted, striding purposefully across the muddy ground. "Time to go!"
Onyx glanced over her shoulder, trotting lightly over a fallen muncher. "Aw, is the party over already?"
"Sadly, campus safety came and broke it up."
"And the fun was just getting started," Minka side. She let a metal pole fall to the snow.
"Are the nice military folk going to give us a ride home?" Onyx asked.
"No, unfortunately, they are not."
Onyx changed back into a human just long enough to flip off the still hovering helicopter.
Suddenly, bullets began to pepper the ground around us, mud and snow flying into the air.
"I think that's our cue to skedaddle," Minka announced sagely.
I made a clicking noise in my cheek and snapped my fingers before pointing them at her like guns.
The three of us took off at a run, bounding over the discarded bodies and cratered earth. Behind us, the helicopters whirred, and bullets clattered at our feet.
Enia: Hello from college! I'm officially a college kid, isn't that exciting? It's awesome here. There's no one here to tell you what to do, and my classes rock. You probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you about them anyways, because I like to ramble.
So I'm taking Intensive Intro to French which is a lot of work. It meets everyday plus 3 AT "conversation" sessions. I'm also taking Intro to Psych, Early Middle Ages, and Queer Texts, Queer Tales. QTQT is probably what I'm most excited for.
It's only been a week for far, but it's been a good week.
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