Disclaimer: I formally renounce to any claim of these characters, but to take complete ownership to the situations hereby described and in such a fashion. Blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blaahbahh!
MI's Note: ah, dear guest, I hope this fulfills your request for FaBerry advances.
I decided it was time for some of Rachel's rambling to be seen, also a subject that I believe may be crucial, specially to any family as mixed up as this one. I'm leaving the messed up part to Santana and Quinn, mainly because that's the freaking feel they left me with through out the series. One would think Britt should be there but no, she's as different and as special as she appears in the series. Now I'm the one rambling; sorry.
Still, what I loved the most about the first part in the carnival, I that Rachel acts like Rachel and yet, like a normal girl. It was extremely fun to write. Hope you like it.
Lions' Den
Chapter 6
It was a lazy Sunday; the Berry family decided to go to a carnival nearby, forgoing church seeing how their Saturday had been hijacked. They still had to drive, but in the end, it was worth it. Rachel could go on all the rides, since her height didn't give her much trouble, seeing as it was a local carnival done for some reason or other. The most Leon could enjoy, were the skill games to gain a prize: fish the goldfish using a net, throw a ball at the piled bottles, throwing the rings, and another involving rubber duckies among many others. They also had a kiddie zoo, which he enjoyed, as well as ridding a goat.
The cutest, were the pictures from the plush toy zoo; since the kiddie one was filled with approachable, adorable creatures that could be easily transported, in order to give the youngsters an idea of what the more exotic creatures looked like, they used the plush zoo. It was nice that, although those toys were taken care off and most likely one-of-a-kind type, they made sure to have bigger plushies to distract the grubby, greedy hands of children who couldn't fully comprehend those plushies weren't theirs to keep, and also get some money of course.
But Leon could understand the concept of sharing. He had learned from Rachel, who would get a wounded look on her face, a face that he couldn't stand to see on her, so he would give his own toys to others just to see her smile. The boy understood more than anyone knew, save for the brunette always with him. She was currently competing against their daddy to see who could aim better and faster. They had struck a deal; if by the end they gathered others willing to test themselves against the family, they could chose one of the bigger plushies.
"What do you say Lee," she was panting a bit, having had a workout from going at it for half an hour; their athletic father had given up about ten minutes ago, leaving her to compete with others until she was declared victorious. "Which one do you want?"
"Tie!" Everyone was puzzled by the response but the girl, who smiled the softest smile and gave him a husky kiss.
"You sure?"
"Ye!" She narrowed her eyes in mock glare with a smile and the boy pouted, then relented. "Yes."
"I knew you knew," she teased, turning back to the baffled man at the stand, "the biggest, plushiest and most intimidating tiger in the whole carnival please."
Her statement was done with conviction, and the man could just swallow, blink, pull on the neck line of his uniform and excused himself, leaving someone else in charge as many other clients tried to beat her time. The girl turned back to the baby boy as the men chuckled at the events.
"Now it seems like our own lion has grown to like the ironic nickname your blonde companion gave him," Hiram teased.
"What does that say about our baby girl," LeRoy questioned with twinkling eyes, "huh?"
She blushed, but was fortunately saved from saying anything as the young man came back with one of the biggest plushies she had ever seen. Chocolate eyes went wide at the sight, then chuckled at the fact that the eyes were green with soft, hazel spots. Quite fitting, if a bit unsettling. Taking the toy, the tall man led them to one of the benches; the brunette left them for a few moments to go for caramel-covered apples for all of them, including the young boy in their dad's arms.
"Um, dad, daddy," she began softly, not sure how to begin; they were all people watching, even the toddler, who obediently ate his treat, knowing his imah was near. "I think I may be gay."
"Why do you say that honey?" Hiram began with caution.
"Or rather, what finally clued you in?" The other man teased, and at the silence, he realized his mistake. "Wait, baby girl —"
"No, now is as good as any to come clear," sometimes, they couldn't follow her train of thought, "Caroline could be best described as a puppy crush; she was the first person, without distinguishing genders, who showed me something other than scorn or distaste, but when she proved her loyalty, I was done for.
"It's how I am with both of you," when they didn't interrupt, she breathed a small sigh of relief; they were genuinely interested in what she had to say, "if I had to, I would go to the moon and beyond. She taught me I could give my all, that as long as it just came from my heart, I would never feel exhausted, since I truly wanted to do so without expecting anything in return."
"Aw, and here I was," the fashionista gushed at her, loving the way she expressed herself, "hoping we were the ones to teach you as much."
At the interruption, she took a bite out of her apple, and at her eager munching to get a word in, they laughed.
"Easy there, gold star," the one holding the toy requested, handling his apple like a pro. Not a drop of caramel fell on the soft coat of the tiger, "he's just teasing."
"But in a sense, he's right —"
"What did I tell you about telling him that too often?"
"Hey!" She bit her lower lip as the teasing continued for a bit. "Anyway, go on sweety."
"Right," she smiled, feeling great that they themselves brought the subject back around, "you reinforced what she taught me, and she was always more of an older sister, and she would often tell me how she felt around one boy or another."
A brief silence was followed as both men grew uncomfortable, not knowing how to deal with the information. How specific had the older girl been? They didn't know yet who the boy's biological father was, and were sure that Rachel herself didn't know with certainty. The girl was lost in memories though, and it was the baby boy who pulled them to attention at an exclamation. He had seen a plushy of a frog.
"Anyway, my love-sick puppy affection for her never extended to her descriptions," she sighed mildly, as though wishing otherwise, "sure, I was happy when I was besides her, but I didn't crave to be by her side, nor did I need it to be happy, it didn't even increase my happiness, though I was seldom a happy girl on my own, but I had my moments."
They smiled at that, and she smiled back, and they munched in silence for a bit, as to not let the treat go to waste. They checked on an ever watching Leon, who was careful with the sucking of his apple, but though he could take care to not place it to close to his person, he had yet to understand it could fall from his mouth and land on his trousers. Good thing they had a napkin placed on his lap.
"So, you think you like someone as she often expressed her like for those boys?" The taller man asked delicately.
"You never felt jealous about those boys?" LeRoy asked in mock whisper, but seriously looking for an answer and to soften the mood a bit. The girl giggled that time.
"No, not even when she had to ditch me for them," she said with a laugh, smiling, "but with Quinn, I constantly wonder what she's doing, if she's okay, what she would do if she was here, and then I get guilty because I know Noah likes her."
"Boys that age are less likely to love as you girls love, or need to be loved," if there ever was a serious topic to the fashionista, it was love, "it's why most girls at around your age try dating older boys."
"Not here though," the taller man countered with a light chuckle at the slap to his arm; how dare his own husband contradict him in front of their children? "With the way they perceive image, they're likely to date among their own age group.
"How are you going to do though," he began with a light, worried frown, "with her family and upbringing, she's perhaps denying your perfect chemistry —"
"You knew it was her?" She gaped and they laughed.
"We are your fathers," the finishing statement of the slightly shorter male made her blush, making her feel that they did understand her maybe better than she understood herself.
"It certainly couldn't be Santana," Hiram agreed while shaking his head, "and Britt only gives indication of even being bi when she's with the Latina."
"Really, the expression 'gay for' never felt more glaringly obvious," at her puzzled expression, the men chuckled but the one talking decided to elaborate, "if Brittany didn't have Santana, she would most likely experiment, but stick with boys."
"Love's funny that way."
"Then it fits me too " she said with a confused frown and a sigh, "in level of attractiveness, everyone is shapeless until their personality truly shines, then I notice if it's girl or boy, but up to now, that has only happened with Quinn."
"So there's no difference between, say, Brittany, Santana, Mike and Puck?" It was their turn to be baffled and she just shrugged.
"Let's add Tina to the mix, and they're still important people," her eyes were lost in the distance right then, "but if you add Quinn, she just shines right through them all and I'm helplessly magnetized to being besides her.
"I want to be there, help her out with anything and everything, to show her I'm her equal and that I can protect her against anything and everything," a helpless sigh, "that she can just be, as long as she's happy, and I can tell she isn't, that she's struggling but, I cannot demand her to confide, just show her she can and yet. . . . It doesn't feel like it's enough, that it'll ever be enough. . . ."
"Wow, that's definitely love," Hiram stated after a pause, and the girl sighed again, then groaned. "Of course our overachieving daughter would aim for something beyond the stars. Should I start calling you Buzz, or just Lightyear?"
"Why don't we stick with stupid and leave it at that?" She requested and they chuckled a bit.
"Rachel, honey," the Jew left it in the Christian's hands; sure, he would want to be able to help out, but he was out of his depth. Besides, it was the same man who helped him realize what he liked and wanted, it was when he chose and decided he wanted LeRoy and only LeRoy for the rest of his life, "we don't chose who we love; we just do. I suggest you let it flow, and if it remains, then talk to her about it."
"Even then, it is better if you do so after high school," the other man supplied hesitantly, clenching his fist at the discomfort his own words caused him, "I don't want you suffering like Roy did."
"That's the other thing," she now had worry in her eyes and they feared for what could come from her mouth, "if people start saying you made me this way, how are we going to refute it?
"I don't want to leave, or have Leon taken from his most amazing shot," she began to bite her lower lip with worry, apples now forgotten, "now that is something I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."
"Rachel, easy, take deep breaths and munch on your caramel apple," Hiram began firmly, going as far as to leave the toy on his husband's back as he went to go besides the girl. None of them wanted to leave the plushie on the ground, specially if it would be sleeping with the kids, "now orientation is something that can be identified at a young age, or it can be discovered."
"Your attraction to this person goes beyond gender," the other man affirmed as he took care of the child in his arms; an apple was too much for Lee, then again Rachel would likely finish it, "the fact that this person is a girl is just a casualty, although girls emotional maturity growth is faster than boys, it just means that the probability of you finding girls attractive first is more likely. That, of course, doesn't mean you might not find a boy to be attractive later on."
She let that sink in and by then, the sun was setting. They finished their apples, with Rachel taking her second from the boy, who had fallen asleep, and Hiram took the toy back, just to make a formal exchange with LeRoy, who stretched his legs in a grateful, exaggerated manner. They sat there, in companionable and rather sweet silence, just enjoying each other among the busy carnival, watching the sun set as others went about their busy way. To the girl, it felt exhilarating, just to be able to share a moment of astounding beauty with her family, a real family, amidst a bunch of strangers who ignored the beauty of an event that occurred every single day.
It brought her peace, and when they returned, did she realize something. She was falling for the same girl her Jew bro had feelings for. That had to spell out trouble. So in order to prevent even a fracture on their strong walls of friendship, the first genuine relation she had ever made with someone her own age, her actual age for crying out loud, she decided to call him over.
"Hey!" He greeted them, huge box of pizza from the only Italian restaurant who made vegan pizzas. "Hey there Jew-Champ! Brought some goodies for my two brothers who only eat vegan."
The two men frowned but said nothing. It did make sense at a whole new level now that they knew about their daughter though, interesting enough.
"Don't stay up too late," they called, calling it a night but getting the chance that they were all downstairs and playing a movie to get in some private time.
"So we're watching a movie where the evil one isn't a man and the hero is totally misunderstood," the young man stated as he placed the box down on the coffee table and greeted the Jews sitting with a kiss each. "Okay, seeing him as your child makes this feel like a family."
"I love you too Noah," she teased, grinning when she got the blush she expected. "And although I approve of Rapunzel, I do believe we have a serious talk while our boy enjoys the toons."
She gave said boy a lingering kiss on the temple, then turned to smile softly at her brother, who still blushed a bit but accepted the term with a soft smile. They helped the toddler get settled on her legs, munching a slice of pizza. He would, with any luck, finish it all by the end of the film. Once he was settled though, the pair took a chance to enjoy the comfort of each other before breaking the ice.
"Ever since school began, we haven't spent much time together," she said, looking sad and the shadows of a pout showed a bit. "I do hope that our next time, we don't end up in another fight."
"I was hoping we could open a fight club," he said lightly, and they laughed a bit. One of those days though, they would make that dream come true. "Saw you've been spending quite some time with the high and mighty threesome of school."
"Santana can grow on you," she remarked fondly, then laughed, "and it's only been a week!"
"Yes well, you had leverage with Brittany already one of your bffs," he jested, pushing her shoulder a bit to incline her, even though she straightened up almost as quick. "We may as well say you cheated."
They enjoyed their silence as the movie played songs about dreams. That such big, mean thugs could have such incredulous dreams was preposterous but still, wasn't that the whole purpose of dreams, for them to seem far fetched and still, within realm of reality? She wouldn't know, it had been too long since she had had such a dream. The last had been to simply survive with Leon, already given up on: her parents wanting her back and looking for her, an artist seeing her and taking her away from it all, finding out she was an heir to a kingdom. . . . So far fetched and yet, within the realm of reality. Now she had another such dream, and it could compete with the others on which would happen first. Either those, or the end of the world.
"Noah . . ." she began hesitantly, and taking a deep breath, decided to come out. "I've found someone I like."
"Someone sparked your interest?" The information was surprising; he had known how she just saw everyone as human, not as a man or women, girl or boy.
"Yes, and I'm not sure since when," she winced and he frowned, "but it's Quinn Fabray."
"The Quinn Fabray?"
"Is there another?" She jibbed and he raised his hand in surrender. She sighed. "I just realized what it was, but I have no idea since when."
"So it might have been before I told you I have something for her," he summarized, and she shut her eyes tight, "not to worry, you're new to the whole bro code."
"That doesn't stop me from feeling bad," she answered, releasing her breath and opening her eyes; she was greeted with a smile, "the other thing is, in all likelihood, you're the one who has a chance with her."
"Just promise me I'll be allowed to watch if you do get it on," he winked and they both laughed.
"Noah!" She kept on laughing. Going to their third slice, the boy having finished half of his, and with the movie as background, they enjoyed their company. "Thank you, really, for understanding."
"So you won't let me see?"
"Noah. . . ."
"Fine. So, no one else?"
"No. Why? Had someone in mind?"
"Finn?" The made a face and he laughed at it, falling to the floor as the girl simply shook her head but otherwise did nothing about it. "Really Babe, he is the school's golden boy, favored just because he's the captain and quarterback."
"That reminds me, how can I join the team?"
"Runner back?"
"Would have to train to be a good safety."
"We could do some training if you want." He thought a bit about it. "So, no interest in him what's so ever? And if I got Quinn, you wouldn't get mad?"
"At all," she grimaced at the perspective of Finn. She just couldn't see his appeal, despite his good singing, "and I would rather have you two as a couple than her and him."
"You really don't like him, do you?"
"After I caught him ordering a dumpster dive on Kurt?"
He chuckled at that, nodding. "Point taken. Glad you don't hold that against me."
"You're still giving those to Jacob, aren't you?
"He's a weasel."
"He's creepy."
Nodding, they left it at that. The mood turned sour at the mention of their fellow Jew. It was affronting, to be in any way related to the boy. Good thing it didn't extend to being related by blood, that would be the only thing she would give thanks to too being adopted, but fortunately, Hiram was nothing of the boy anyway. It would seem he was related to Noah's mother, which made Rchel and him sort of cousins to the third degree twice removed or some other nonsense of those. Not that they kept such tabs anyway. If they had to label the other, it was best bros, or rather, best Jew bros or bjb as she often joked; she just didn't get the abbreviations. Not always, anyway.
The young man left once the movie was done, congratulated her on winning the tiger, and gave the toddler a friendly noogie, obviously not hurting him. Once she went to their shared room, she set the boy down to sleep, changing him and placing him on his crib. She went to dress in her pjs, then back to bed, having to share her mattress with the tiger, and having to share Leon with said tiger. After the unsettling way the words played in her head, Rachel finally surrendered to Morpheus' arms and a dream-full sleep. Too bad she never remembered them.
Problems presented themselves about a week or so later; Mr. Schue had made a decision that affected them all as a club. Of course, Rachel wasn't oficially part of the club but she went to some of their meetings, mostly since she had grown used to being taken home by Quinn and for them to spend their afternoons with homework and Leon. She loved it, and so had grown used to going to glee or the library to spend her time.
"You're leaving us?" Artie's words snapped the brunette who had decided to spend her time on their practice, "when?"
"Well, I've given my two weeks' notice —"
"When?" Rachel asked, frowning a bit; how could she join a club that was coming apart? "When did you give your notice?"
"I just formally submitted it," he confessed, earning a reprieve from the inquiring girl but complaints from the rest; they had two weeks to figure it out, "last week."
Scratch that, they had one left; it was Tuesday, they had some time at least. The man raised his hands to placate them. They finally quieted down.
"But I promise I'm gonna find you guys a great replacement before I go." He said with finality.
"It's been a week and you haven't done that yet?" He was right though, he had to do it, not them, "how long do you have left, three days?!"
"She's right Mr. Schue."
"This is so unfair."
"B-b-but Mr. Schue. . . ."
"Is this 'cause those Carmel kids were so good?" The others, sans hot male lead and stunning young ingenue, agreed hotly and wholeheartedly with their dark-skinned diva. "Because we can work harder."
"This isn't fair, Mr. Schuester," the brunette began with a soft and cute frown, "is this why you bugged me so much to join?"
"So does that mean I don't have to be in the club anymore or . . ?" Finn wisely decided to shut it at the glares from the other and frown; why were the losers giving him grief?
"This isn't about you guys." He began, confusing them all; wasn't glee club about them and didn't this affect the club directly? "Being an adult is about having to make difficult choices. It's not like high school. Sometimes . . . you have to give up the things that you love. One day, you guys are going to grow up and understand that. I have loved being your teacher."
"Mr. Schuester, I believe you're the one who doesn't fully understand," the voice, they had heard, but the tone was new, and the icy look was filled with disappointment, those chocolate eyes looking like hard coal, "sometimes what you must give up is the things that make everything easier to keep the things you love the most closer."
"Rachel, you can't possible understand —" but his statement was cut short by a strong fist being smashed against a desktop surface, and the tanned hand wasn't even positioned in a punch-like fashion. "Rachel —!?"
"No, no one has the right to say that, not to me," she demanded heatedly, tears about to spill, "I gave up the comfort of normal homes to stay in the house, just for Leon, I gave up my studies not caring how much harm it could bring me in the long run, just to care for a boy who isn't even related to me by blood!
"I have given so much up for myself, my well being and others, even before that boy appeared in my life," she ended up walking straight at him, overwhelming him with the responsibilities no child should bear, yet she had, because she believed that there just had to be someone decent and willing to give her a chance, else she would be driven to grief and suicide; no one knew the scars she carried, "willing to do the impossible for others, and I finally found two loving fathers; I may have no mother but they, my friends who are dear and close, and one growing lion, are all I need and it's because I love them, that I'm willing to go to all extremes to make things work.
"I'm here now because I love to sing, and I love singing with Tina," said teen blushed furiously, "and because she genuinely likes this club, for Streisand that I have yet to figure out why, but she's a dear friend and I'm willing to risk my time with Leon for her, while knowing I'll still make time for him."
"Rachel. . . ." The man was left without solid ground, and the girl breaking down in front of him wasn't helping.
"No one has the right to tell me that," she said finally, having had to take a deep breath, else she knew she would choke herself, not with the lack of air but with all her surfacing feelings. "No one."
"Rachel?" Certain blonde, right after Cheerio practice, had come to see her home, just to find her on the border of a hysterical collapse and immediately ran to her. Holding her and providing a shoulder to cry on, the comfort she gave was more important than anything else. Glaring at everyone, including the teacher, she dragged the girl out, followed by one Tina Cohen-Chang. "It's okay Rach, forget and ignore them okay? I'm here and I'm going to take you home and we'll play with Lee."
"Rachel?" The brunette gave the blonde holding her a tight smile, untangled herself from the comfort, just to hug and provide as much comfort as she could to the Asian girl.
"I'll try to help as much as I can Tina," she whispered on her ear, "I promised."
"Come on Rach," she went back to the comforting pale arms and sighed in relief at the contact.
The man left, defeated, and when Tina came back, she asked what they all thought about getting Rachel as interim director, that she herself was willing to help as assistant for the Jew. They took the remaining time to work it over, not noticing they were missing one male member, who had left to follow the other two. Sadly, a girl's bathroom door prevented him from following it entirely.
"Finnept, whatever it is that you're planning standing there, I'll ruin it if you don't scram," Santana threatened him, hatred in her eyes; she hadn't forgiven him for shooting Britt's Spyro (which had actually been a great suggestion) game scheme with one lame-ass comment, "if you're still around here when I come out, I'm kicking you in your tender lower region and leaving you with no family jewels to give your children."
"Wouldn't he be unable to have kids?" B asked, puzzled, and the Latina grinned as the dumb boy got the idea.
"Yes," she replied sweetly before calling after the boy, "your jewels will be mine if I catch you doing this shit again, and I'll use them as jewelry and not for what they were meant to be used!"
"You got more balls than him anyway, Santana," Rachel commented as soon as the door opened, and they moved along.
MI's Note: I knew I needed the conversation between Rachel and her fathers before approaching the whole thing with Schuster and the interim director, and then, well, it has PuckleBerry bromance peeps, the following conversation had to follow because this is Racel, she just has to be adamant (there was a different word starting with a but, it felt too strong) about proper conduct and codes, and what she had with him is pretty special to her, seeing as she only ever had it with Caroline.
Rejoice! This came earlier than expected, but the cliffhanger wasn't intentional, though it follows some of the show, and like shown, I played around with the lines, if just to make this fit and feel real. Expect the unexpected and hopefully, it'll still be surprising, :D
