A/N: My arc or point of this story, take us past Tara's jail sentence. That being said, expect a time jump soon ;) Enjoy angst lovers.
Chapter 8
Tara awakens just a bit later to the soft sounds of their baby crying but before she can ask her husband to help her, she sees him quietly picking up their tiny bundle from the bassinet. "I bet you're hungry." He whispers softly. "And I know you need mom for that. But how about we let her sleep just a little longer? I'm not giving you a hard time but I think you wore her out, darlin'"
"You are not calling our daughter, darlin'" Her voice is hoarse and she tries to laugh but it doesn't quite come out that way.
"Why not?" His smirk indicates that he already knows exactly why. "Babe is already taken."
"So is darlin'" She retorts with an eye roll. By your harem, Teller.
"Not anymore." He vows. "And I wouldn't have to call her anything, if she had a name." Her cry indicates her agreement and they both smile. The doting father finally gives up on fulfilling the baby's needs as he kisses her head softly and brings her to her awaiting momma.
"Thank you." Comes the exhausted mom's reply. She's thankful that the guard has placed the cuff around her ankle. Now she has two free hands to tend to Ms. Impatience demands. As Tara unbuttons her gown and begins to nurse, she says, "I guess you have a point. We should talk about a name." When he doesn't respond, she lifts her eyes up to find his hungry gaze watching her. She knows that look, and sure enough when she looks down, she finds a bulge in his jeans. "Seriously, Jax?" She aims for a disgusted look but is pretty sure her laugh refutes it.
"What? Sorry!" He shrugs. "But it's fucking hot, Tara." He whispers.
"Yea, hot." She rolls her eyes. She feels the complete opposite of sexy at the moment but has to admit, if only to herself, that it feels good to be desired. "A name, Teller. Focus on a name."
"Anything you want." He grins, pulling the chair closer to her bed and sitting. "You did all the work. You get to name her."
"I named Thomas." She reminds him as she moves the baby to her right breast. It was too soon for her to get enough colostrum from one breast alone.
"Yea, for me." His sad smile is followed by sigh. "Seriously, babe? What names do you like?"
"I don't know." Her mouth moves left to right in thought. "Something classic…timeless…."
"Grace?" He's always loved his wife's middle name.
"No." She shuts it down immediately with a firm shake of her head.
"I love Grace!" He sighs in disappointment. "Hannah?" Headshake tells him it's a negative. "Mya? Lily? Paige? Lu…"
"I like Paige!" She interrupts.
"Me too." He agrees, truthfully he would have agreed to anything just to give her what she wants.
"So, Paige? Paige what?" He swallows, as he hands her the water she is pointing to.
"Olivia." She sips her water. "Olivia Paige? What'cha think?"
"Olivia Paige." The name settles over him. "Olivia Paige, sounds like a strong name for a strong girl. Olivia Grace? He tries one more time."
"No!" She laughs.
"Olivia Paige it is!" He stands, drops a kiss to Tara's head and reaches for their newly named daughter. Tara sips her water as she watches Jax get the things ready to change Olivia's diaper. And as expected, when he opens up the diaper for the first dirty change, she laughs as he asks, "Eww, what in the hell is this, Tara?"
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Maconium issues have passed as dawn breaks when Jax asks, "Do you want the boys here before or after school?"
She immediately lights up at the prospect of seeing their sons, "I want to see them now." Tara deflates, "But Abel will probably not have a good school day if we comes here and then doesn't want to leave."
Daddy shrugs, "We'll let him stay home then. Mommy did just have a baby." His smile is contagious.
"It's not really worth the few minutes they'll probably let him stay." A concerned frown mares her features.
"Did they mention anything about a visiting policy?" He probably should have thought about that sooner. If these idiots thought he was leaving his wife or daughter, they had another thing coming. When she shakes her head, he adds, "I'll go see what's up." He returns with a wide grin a few moments later. "Fifteen minutes for all visitors…."
The disappointment is immediate. "Fifteen minutes? That's all? That's not enough time to see my boys. That's…."
"You didn't let me finish." He interrupts. "Fifteen minutes for grandparents. Unlimited time for siblings and daddy."
"Unlimited?" Her smile is radiant. "Let's do it. They'll probably get bored quickly but…." She would tolerate fifteen minutes of Gemma just to have unlimited time with her boys.
"We'll take it." His smile matches hers. "Let me make a few calls."
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Nothing, absolutely nothing, including Gemma lurking in the doorway, can take away Tara's happiness as her boys rush up to her bedside with jubilant shouts of "Mommy!" Abel doesn't even bother waiting for Jax's assistance before he uses the bedrail to help him climb the bed and snuggle with his mom as he checks out the pink bundle in her arms.
"So what'cha think?" Jax asks, joining them with Thomas. He can't seem to erase his smile either. "Looks like you guys have a little sister to protect."
"She's pretty." Abel smiles. "Baby!" Thomas chants. Both boys lean in to touch Olivia.
"Wait!" Jax jumps up to get the hand sanitizer. Tara laughs as he applies some to both boys. "Grandma, you can wash your hands in the sink." Jax nods in the direction of the bathroom.
"Seriously, Jackson?" Gemma rolls her eyes but goes in the bathroom anyway. She can't help but smile at the sight of Jax, half sitting/half standing by the bed, Thomas in his lap, holding Olivia. She makes her way over to them, ignoring the woman filling up the other half of that bed. "A girl, huh? What the hell are we going to do with a girl?" She lifts the baby from her son and grandson's embrace. It's hard to determine her thoughts because her head is bent and she takes in the sight of her only granddaughter.
"Accept that there is yet another queen in my life." He smirk speaks for itself as does Tara's snort.
Gemma glares at Tara, who meets it with a glare of her own but not surprisingly doesn't back down, "Guess I have to take back all the newborn boy shit I bought?"
Both parents immediately stiffen at the comment, for differing reasons. "Actually, you can take everything back but you don't need to exchange it, unless you are sending it with Tara."
Tara isn't sure who's face to look upon, at Gemma's confused one or Jax's tentative one. "Why the hell would she need baby clothes in jail?"
"Liv's going to be going back with Tara." A hesitant deep breath is followed by a quick explanation, "Tara was approved for the mother and baby ward, so sh-"
"What baby and mother ward? What in the hell are you talking about Jackson?" Olivia responds with a wail to her shrieking grandmother. "Why am I just hearing about this?"
"Mom, don't start." Jax sighs as he reaches for his daughter from his mother's embrace. "Don't upset the kids. We can talk about this later."
"No, we'll talk about this right now." The angry woman steps around to the other side of the bed, finally paying attention to her daughter in law. "A prison is no place for a baby! What kind of mother are you? What is this some way to keep your hooks in my son? This baby be-"
"Mom!"
"Grandma! Stop!"
"Your time is up Mrs. Morrow!" The guard at the door is firm.
"I'm not going anywhere!" Gemma shrieks.
"Yes, you are." The guard places one hand on her cuffs and the other on her weapon, trying to relay a subtle message and not scare the kids, who are obviously already upset.
"Gemma, you need to leave." Tara's voice is adamant as she consoles an upset Abel and Thomas.
"I'll leave!" Gemma grabs her purse and stalks over to the door. "But mark my words, Tara, that baby won't be leaving with you. She belongs on the outside, with her family…."
"Mom!" Jax raises his voice, which only makes the boys upset again. "LEAVE!"
Tara looks at Jax, so many questions and thoughts present in her olive eyes but she can't voice them right now. Not when the boys are so upset and confused.
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"Get it, Thomas!" Jax laughs as he kicks the ball to his toddler. Thomas picks the ball up and throws it, barely making it three feet.
"It's soccer Tommy!" Abel tells his brother sternly. "No hands, just feet!" Why didn't little brother's understand anything? He has told him not to pick up the ball before!
"Abel," the concerned father admonishes, "it's okay. Tommy is still little. He…"
"Mr. Taylor says we don't use hands in soccer!" The agitated kindergartener interrupts.
"Who is Mr. Taylor?" Jax picks up a confused Tommy. He sits down and opens his arm to Abel.
"My teacher." His arms are crossed and his stance tells daddy that he doesn't want him right now. "Can we go back inside? I want mommy."
"Mommy's resting." He takes a deep breath and tries to remember to be patient, that Abel is only five. "And we are talking."
"I don't want to talk!" He stomps. "I want mommy!"
"Abel!" Before Jax can control it, the child's name comes out of his mouth sternly. "Come here, please." The sigh that follows is one of frustration. "I just want to talk to you. Then we'll go see mommy." Blue eyes are locked on identical blue eyes in a battle of wills and he practically sobs in relief when Abel plops down beside him. "What's wrong, buddy? Talk to me."
"Tommy keeps touching the ball!" Was daddy not even listening or watching? Didn't he see Tommy pick up the ball?
"I know." Jax chuckles. "But Tommy is still a baby an-"
"Tommy isn't the baby anymore!" Abel clarifies. "Baby Olivia is the baby!"
"She is." Dad agrees. "But Tommy is still little. He's not even two yet. He has a lot to learn. We'll teach him to kick the ball, okay?"
"Mommy showed me how to do it!" Abel replies excitedly. "Maybe when Mommy gets home, she'll teach him!"
"Or you and I can do it?" The suggestion makes him anxious to hear his son's reply.
"Okay!" Abel smiles before whispering, "Mommy is a girl. Boys kick better than girls, right Daddy?"
"Yes, but don't ever tell Mommy." He takes his free hand and tickles his oldest son. "Or she may kick us. And trust me, mommy kicks hard." Listening to both his son's laugh, Jax tries not to think about the fact that he isn't the one who teaches the kids things or the fact that he had no clue Abel had a teacher named Mr. Taylor.
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"Did you guys have fun?" Tara smiles at her boys, all three of them, as they enter the room. "Burn some energy?" Her last question is directed to her husband.
"We played soccer." Abel informs her as he climbs on the bed. "Daddy says boys kick better than girls."
"Oh really?" Tara tries to glare at Jax but her grin defeats it.
"You little trader," The biker advances on his son slowly, "I'm pretty sure you said it and I just agreed."
"Yea, sure…." Mom rolls her eyes. "You do realize, that not only is mommy a girl, but you have a little sister now?"
"I know!" The five year old smiles. "Maybe she won't pick up the ball all the time like Tommy."
Tara notices Jax stiffen and meets his gaze. "Well, she probably will. Babies usually pick up the ball. They don't understand soccer right away."
"Tommy's not a baby anymore. Olivia is a baby." What didn't mommy and daddy understand?
"True." Tara nods at the bundle in her arms. Jax takes the hint and grabs the hand sanitizer before he picks up the baby. "What's wrong, Abel?" She asks, once Jax has the baby. He swoops Thomas up with Tara as well.
"Nothing." Abel shrugs, leaning into his mother's embrace.
"Nothing?" Tara smiles, against his head. "Do you know how much mommy and daddy love you?" Abel nods. "I know things have been kind of crazy." She takes a deep breath. "Mommy's not home. You're in school now. Lots of new people. Mommy just had a baby. But none of that is your fault. Or Tommy's fault. Okay, monster?"
"Okay." Abel replies.
"Mommy misses you guys so much." She chokes back a sob and refuses to look at her husband. "But you are doing great! You're a great big brother and a great student and a great son! You make mommy and daddy so happy." She drops another kiss on his head. "And I know sometimes it gets hard when your little brother doesn't listen to you and when he follows you everywhere."
"He does!" Abel rolls his eyes.
"But that's only because he loves you sooooooooo much!" Mommy reminds him. "And he'll learn a lot from daddy and mommy but he'll learn the most from…." she tickles him briefly, "you. So, think we can be a little more patient?"
"I guess." Abel sighs but smiles. "Sorry I was mean, stinky monkey."
Tara meets Jax's gaze and takes in his perplexed look. She would love to delve into it but a part of her is afraid to let him share his heart with her. "I think maybe monkey and monster need some lunch."
"I called." He informs her. "Got someone bringing us lunch. Your favorite from Lumpy's."
"Really?" Her smile is genuine. She can practically taste the BLT and fries that she craved on the inside.
"Yup, think about what you want for dinner." Hospital food was probably an upgrade from prison food. But by getting her some of her favorites, he felt it was at least something he could do, when he felt so useless otherwise. "And that's what we'll have."
"Sorry, bro." When Bobby arrives, it's obvious the guard will not let him in. "Strict policy." He shrugs.
"I get it." Bobby grumbles, handing Jax the large paper bag from Lumpy's. "I need to talk to you, Prez." He nods, so they can be out of earshot of the guard.
"What's up?" Jax asks, after moving a few feet although he doubts they're out of Tara's sight.
"Some shit went down with Alvarez and Marks." The club secretary is referencing a meeting that occurred earlier. "Might need you to soothe the babies."
"I have real babies to soothe." Jax is torn. He is the leader of this MC and knows he probably is in fact needed for this. "I can't leave Tara, right now." He sighs. "We have the boys here. No one else is allowed to stay with them." He doesn't want to leave his wife. He's spent too much time forced to be away from her. "You and Chibs need to handle it, bro."
"And if we can't?" Bobby hates to ask but he has spent years doing this shit. Sometimes, other leaders want to talk only to the person wearing the president patch.
"I don't know." The younger biker shrugs, "I got to get back in there." It wasn't like Tara could do much while cuffed to a bed. "Kids are hungry."
"Sure thing, boss." Bobby hugs him and pats him on the back. "Congratulations, Dad. A girl. Good thing we have access to guns."
Jax knew it was all in fun but for some reason, Bobby's words didn't sit right with him. "Give me a sec and I'll hold her up to the window." Jax enters the room and sits the bag down on the table as Abel, Thomas, and Tara smile and wave to him.
"Good thing she looks like her mother." Bobby winks at Tara, who blushes with a wide grin.
"Who's hungry?" Jax drops a kiss to Olivia's forehead just before placing her in the bassinet as the boys all shout that they are in fact hungry. He can feel Tara's eyes on him. "What?" He asks softly.
"You gotta go?" She asks, wondering what that will mean for her and the boys.
"Nah, babe." He gives her a smile and she can tell that he's torn. "I'm right where I need to be."
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Thomas is napping on the loveseat when there is a knock on the door. Jax cringes a bit but Tara smiles wide when she realizes it's her friend, Margaret Murphy. "How did you get pass the guards?" Tara whispers when the older woman gives her a hug.
"Flashed my employee badge of course." Margaret smiles with a raised eyebrow. The guard in the hallway didn't even look close enough to realize she was an employee at another hospital. "And I come bearing gifts." Abel smiles at the older woman and reaches for her.
"Awww, you didn't have to do that." Tara smiles but reaches for the bag as she tries to adjust herself more comfortably in the bed. Both Jax and Margaret's eyes are drawn to Tara's ankle when the cuff clings against the railing it is attached to. Jax wants to shrink when he notes Tara's look of embarrassment. Automatically, he reaches for the sheet to cover it up. "Abel, do you want to help mommy open this?"
"Actually, I bought Abel and Thomas their own presents." Margaret smiles as she ruffles Abel's hair. "But Thomas is sleeping." She whispers.
"We should probably wake him up." Tara reminds Jax. "If we are going to try to keep him here and get him to sleep at a normal time."
"Yea, ok." Jax looks a bit flustered with Olivia in his arms and trying to figure out how to wake Thomas up.
Their guest reaches for the hand santitizer. "Here, I'll take the baby." Once she's in her arms she smiles wide, "Oh Tara, congratulations. She's beautiful." She leans against the bed and whispers to Abel, "So what do you think? Excited for a sister this time?"
Abel smiles but is too busy diving into his gift bag to reply. "Look Mommy, a shirt!" He pulls out a shirt that claims he's the "biggest brother".
"Awww, I love it!" Tara lights up. "Margaret? When did you have time to do this?"
"I have a friend that called me when you came in." The administrator explains. "So I cut out of St. Thomas at lunch. Thought I'd get you ready for when the photographer gets here."
Jax notes the look of discomfort that crosses his wife's face and makes a mental note to question Tara about it later. He is able to wake Thomas up and thankfully the toddler is in a good mood.
It isn't until later, as Margaret is about to leave that Cathy, the nurse from last night comes on duty again. "Tara? Or are we back to Mrs. Teller?"
The beautiful woman in question laughs, "Tara is fine."
"I hear that you are going to try to keep the boys here with you and dad tonight." Her statement sounds more like a question.
"Is that going to be a problem?" Jax asks.
"No, no problem as long as they behave." The nurse warns.
"I was thinking that perhaps the peds floor may have a few extra things to help keep them entertained?" Margaret suggests with a smile.
"I'll check." Cathy sighs and leaves.
"Your friend, I assume?" Tara asks with a raised eyebrow.
"She worked at St. Thomas. Briefly." Margaret gives the boys a hug. "Any idea when they are discharging you?"
"No idea." Tara admits with a frown. She doesn't want to leave her boys. "Probably tomorrow. Everything went well, no complications. The neonatal cardiologist already cleared Liv."
"Think they will let you take the outfits I bought?" Margaret didn't even think to ask about the policy regarding that beforehand.
"I think so. I hope so." Tara chuckles humorlessly. "She'll need to be clothed."
"Ok, well I have to get home." The petite redhead declares with a sigh. "Figure out what to make the girls and Dave for dinner." She gives Tara a hug. "I'll try to stop by before you get discharged."
"Thanks Margaret." Tara gives a sad smile. "For everything."
"Yes, thank you." Jax tells the administrator honestly. He watches her share a brief conversation with Cathy and thinks that it is also nice to know Tara has at least one confidante.
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"Jax! Jackson!" Tara whispers harshly. No response. Damn him, since when is he a heavy sleeper? She picks up the nearest thing in her reach, a Milky Way that Jax had bought her from the vending machine, and throws it at him. The candy bar hits its intended target, Jax's head.
"What the-"Her husband jolts awake.
"Sorry!" The mischievous giggle sounds the complete opposite. "But I need you to wake the guard. I don't want to wake the kids." Abel is fast asleep next to her, Thomas is on Jax's chest and Olivia is fast asleep in her bassinet.
"Oh." He takes a minute to get his bearings. "It's fine, babe." He puts Thomas down on the loveseat gently and pauses a minute to see if he will awaken, thankfully he does not. "I hate this shit." He whispers, more to himself than his wife but she hears it anyway.
She ponders his words as he shakes the guard and asks for Tara's cuff to be loosened so she can use the bathroom. As she is relieving and cleaning herself up, she listens to the sounds of Jax caring for their daughter. His actions and whispered words soothe Tara and bring a light smile to her face. The guard has already fallen back to sleep when Tara finishes. She climbs back in the bed, moving Abel slightly.
"Want me to move him?" He smiles when Abel automatically maneuvers to cocoon his mother in every way he possibly can.
"No." Tara smiles as she takes Olivia from Jax. "Think I can fit Thomas up here, too?"
He laughs at both the thought and her desire to have all of her babies so close and ignores the flash of jealousy he feels at the fact that he can't be that close to her. "Sorry babe, I don't think it will work."
"I guess I should be happy that he even cuddled with me for the movie." She murmurs, thinking about how her boys surrounded her and tuned into Madagascar. She would have to be sure to thank Margaret and Cathy, the TV and games kept the boys busy all afternoon. It was as if the five of them were the only people who existed for the whole afternoon. The guard mindlessly playing on her cellphone didn't even disturb them. In fact, they disturbed the guard more than anything every time she needed to be uncuffed. "I think you can probably escape for a bit." Tara tells Jax. With the guard knocked out and the brief reprieve from the cuffs she should be okay for a bit.
"Escape?" He chuckles softly at her choice of words. "Why? Where would I go?"
"I don't know." She shrugs as Olivia latches on. "Whatever that was earlier with Bobby."
Even if he managed to get by the guard outside, did she really think he would leave? "I'm right where I want to be." He swallows the lump in his throat as he half sits on the bed and watches her nourish their daughter.
He's not prepared at all for the way she looks up at him, even with the muted lights in the room he can see the tears pool in her beautiful olive orbs. "I'll never forget this, you know?" He can't make his mouth ask what she's talking about. He couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat even if he wanted to.
"How amazing you've been. With me. With the boys. With the baby." She has to look away then, because if she doesn't the tears will fall. This day, this special day with her family, it was worth every second of heartbreak that lead her here. This day was what she would hold onto when she was away from them and didn't think she could go on.
"Tara…." But she won't look at him and her hands are cradling a suckling Olivia. So instead he drops a kiss on her exposed shoulder. "I love you, babe."
After several minutes of silence while he watches his girls, Tara clears her throat. "Why didn't you tell Gemma about the maternity ward?"
He sighs, most conversations he and Tara have concerning his mother do not end well. "It's none of her business." He hopes she doesn't push it further. He never wants to admit out loud that he was afraid that he if Gemma knew, she'd find some way to sabotage it. And he definitely doesn't want to ponder what that says about his mother or their relationship.
She snorts, "Now our life isn't any of her business?" She knows Jax well enough to know there is more to his decision but doesn't push, afraid of where it will all lead.
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Tara awakens on a high. Not even the piss poor sleep or the nurses coming in to check on Olivia every three hours could ruin her mood. In a few hours, she and Olivia would be alone in a concrete cell. She will save her bitterness for then. She laughs when the photographer comes in and starts going over portrait packages with her. Her eyes nearly bulge out of socket at the price, she knew they were expensive but damn they've increased. "We'll just get one of Olivia and some of the kids together?" She looks up at Jax to get his thoughts.
He looks at the paper listing the prices in her hand. "We'll get as many as you want."
"You HAVE to get a family portrait!" The very bubbly, very young photographer exclaims. "You're such a good-looking bunch." Her blush is instant and Tara tries to hide a grin. Oh honey, you wouldn't even have a clue what to do with him.
For once, Jax is oblivious to the attention. "We are." He agrees, and thinks that it'll be months, maybe longer before they can take another picture together. "Let's do it."
"You want that?" Tara laughs. It wasn't that he didn't like taking pictures. He did. They even had a few of them together with a kid or two. But they were all taken by someone random snapping shots at a party or event. Nothing professional or planned ever.
"I want that." He smiles at her and Tara forgets all about the photographer with a crush.
"I want to too!" Abel shouts and his parents doubt he even knows what he wants other than to be included.
Her laugh is genuine, "Oh then!" Damn, she really wishes she had some makeup other than the lipgloss Jax brought up from the gift shop.
Her good mood is interrupted by the outside guard. "There's a Wendy Case here, says she's here to pick up the boys."
Jax watches as Tara instantly deflates. He looks over the guards shoulder and sees Wendy. "Why are you here so early?" And really, why the hell are you here at all?
"To take Abel to school." Wendy looks at him as though he's an idiot.
"He isn't going today." The conversation back and forth makes Tara uncomfortable and judging from the way Abel is crawling in her lap, he's uncomfortable too.
"I thought Tara was getting discharged today." Wendy states.
"I am." The woman in question speaks for herself. "But we were planning on spending as much time together as possible." Get the fuck out of here you stupid, weak junkie. Tara would like to think the junkie would at the very least stay clean while she was in jail but Wendy looked horrible.
"Well, I wasn't sure if Abel's homework was even done." She holds up the Transformers bookbag as though it is her mother of the year prize.
"Leave it." Jax's tone is dismissive at best, arctic at worst. "I'll call you if we need you."
Tara and Jax quickly change the boys into the adorable new shirts Margaret bought them before Tara steps in the bathroom to try and do something with her appearance. She almost laughs, thinking she would rather take the pics in this hospital gown than her department of correction orange uniform, and for that she is grateful. As she comes out and the photographer positions the family on and around the bed, neither notices Wendy watching with contempt from the hallway. Nor do they notice the photographer snapping shots of just the two of them. As usual, when they are in sync, they hardly notice anything or anyone outside of each other.
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Lowen arrives to see Tara flipping out on Jax in a hushed whisper with nothing but a backpack and some papers between them. She knocks on the door and clears her throat, "Bad time?"
"No, Ally." Tara sighs. "It fine."
Jax, for once is grateful for Lowen's interruption, as Tara was fit to be tied over the state of Abel's schoolwork. Apparently neither Gemma, Wendy, nor Brooke were qualified to check over kindergarten assignments. He also is curious. When Jax made a vending machine run last night, Tara asked him to call Ally and see if she could swing by before she was discharged. "Do you need me to leave?" He hopes not as he wants to know why she needs the lawyer.
"No." Tara acts as though he's being ridiculous. "This won't even take long. I want to go over Abel's homework for the week."
"I'll get your checkbook and mail." Ally smiles, and opens her briefcase. "And then I'm holding a baby."
"Olivia." Jax supplies. "And wash your hands or use the sanitizer." Both Tara and Lowen smile at the overprotective father. He watches as Tara opens a few envelopes and ponders some things before reaching on her small tray for a pen.
"Ally, this has to get to the school ASAP." Tara writes out a check for Abel's tuition. At Ally's look, she reminds the lawyer, "It's already late." She looks at her husband. "And Jax, I'm signing Abel up for the homework club on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so make sure whoever picks him up on those days knows to pick him up forty-five minutes later than usual."
"What account are you paying that from?" He is clueless when it comes to anything other than cash. In fact, he never had a bank account until Tara rolled back into his life.
(Memory from 2009)
"Tara, I went to pay the gas and electric today." Jax says immediately when he enters his home. He sees Tara in the kitchen, with a seven month old Abel on her hip. In the other hand, she's holding a spoon over a pot on the stove. This, right here, is exactly what he always imagined their life as being. It does something to him, stirs something so deep in his chest, to see Tara taking care of Abel like he's her own.
"Hi honey, how was your day?" Tara smiles sarcastically. She hands him Abel and kisses him too quickly for his liking.
"Honey? That's new." His smile is immediate and for a minute he forgets that he has an issue to take up with her. "My day was fine, Babe. Until I remembered that I haven't paid the utility bill in months."
"Uh-huh." She smiles, stirring the pot.
"So, I get there to see how much I'm up to and they tell me it's been paid." He struggles to get out of his kutte while holding a wiggly baby. Tara comes back and takes Abel. "Imagine my shock when they look up the account and tell me checks have been written by a Tara Knowles."
"What's the problem, Jax?" She takes a deep breath and gives him the side eye.
"Why are you paying my bills?" He reaches for the handle on the fridge and pulls out a soda.
She rolls her eyes. "I practically live here."
"But you're paying utilities for an empty house too." Which brings him to another issue he'd like to discuss. Why the hell was she even hanging on to that shithole? She was here almost every night with him and Abel. They wanted her here permanently.
"Exactly, it's practically empty." She stirs the pot one last time and turns the burner off. He wonders how the hell she can do everything with Abel attached at the hip. "Look, I wasn't trying to overstep. I grabbed the mail one day and saw a turn-off notice at the top. Started thinking about how I was here the majority of the time and should pay my way. So I've been paying the bill."
"You didn't overstep." He can't stop himself from pulling both her and Abel into his embrace. Tara could never overstep. There wasn't anything in his personal life that he wouldn't give her, share with her. "It's not about that. I want to take care of you." He admits. He wasn't letting his old lady pay his way. He kisses her than and only pulls apart for his gurgling son.
"You do take care of me, baby." She smiles at him and Abel like they are the only people in her world.
"My personal one." His wife admits and at his confused look adds, "From the sale of my dad's house."
Jax's hand runs down his face and grips the back of his neck in tension. He had forgotten she sold the damn thing and never gave a thought about what she did with the money. Was she paying for all of Abel's school by herself? What else was she paying that he never considered? He had a lot of questions but nothing that he wants to get into with Lowen around.
"Ally, I put your email on a form this morning. It's for Olivia's newborn pictures." Tara wanted to look at them and choose herself but she didn't want to go through the embarrassment of the photographer having to get approval from the department of corrections.
"When they come through, just pick out the best ones and let me know how much I owe you."
"I can do that!" Jax offers.
"You don't even have an email account." His wife reminds him. And would he even know how to get online and make all the necessary changes? "Ally can do it." Tara shoots the lawyer a look that reminds her that she pays one hundred dollars an hour for her time.
"It's no big deal, really Jax." Ally assures him.
"I'd rather you use your time to get my wife out of prison." He was getting frustrated. All these people kept coming in and interrupting what little family time they had left. And he wanted to get him and his wife back to where they were last night. He didn't want to deal with this everyday bullshit, like paying bills and doing homework.
"That's not fa-"Ally starts.
"You've done enough." Tara smiles without a hint of amusement. "You should go Ally. I know you are busy and I appreciate you stopping by."
"Sure thing." Ally hands the baby to Tara and packs up her briefcase as Jax glares at her. Why the hell was she in possession of Tara's checks anyway? Who the hell deemed her in charge? "I'll stop in and check on you next week?" Tara nods and gives a small wave as she leaves.
"Was that really necessary?" She demands in a hushed whisper from her husband.
"How much are you paying her to be your bitch?" He retorts but doesn't wait for an answer. "You shouldn't be paying her shit." The club should be paying her. And he thought the club was. He'd have to get up with Bobby and see what was going on. "She couldn't even keep you out of jail!"
"Um, excuse me?" Tara snarks. "Since when isn't the club's lawyer good enough for me?"
"Are you guys fighting?" Abel asks innocently.
Both parents instantly deflate. "No, baby." Mom assures him. "We're just disagreeing. But we're done now." She gives Jax a look that says otherwise but both know they can't hash it out right now. "I'm sorry if we upset you." She pulls him close and kisses the top of his head.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The outside guard knocks on the door and Jax panics. Judging from the grim look it is time to say goodbye. He isn't ready for goodbye. "The transport is here for the baby."
"Well it's going to be a little bit still." Tara replies. "I haven't even signed my discharge papers yet."
"No, not your transport." The inside guard clarifies. "The baby is always transported separately. And first."
Jax will never forget the look Tara shoots him. It's a plea. Do something! Help! Don't let us be separated. And just as the day the judge announced the guilty verdict, he's never felt so helpless in his life. "There has to be something we can do. How is it appropriate to separate a mom and a newborn so soon?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Teller." The guard's eyes tell Jax that no amount of money or threats will get him his way on this.
Before either of them can think, the room becomes a flurry of activity. Nurses and doctors are coming in and checking Olivia, getting signatures from mom and dad, and making sure the car seat is correctly adjusted. "Okay Mrs. Teller, you will see her as soon as you get back to the correctional facility. "
"Daddy, where is Liv going?" Abel asks innocently. Suddenly the room becomes eerily silent.
"Wait!" Tara requests. "Can I hold her? Feed her first?"
Jax clears his throat. "Can we get a few minutes please?" The adults in the room all share a look, a shrug, and then eventually wait outside.
"This is bullshit." Tara cries, she turns her head away so she can wipe the tears without the boys noticing. Even though her heart is breaking, she knows that barring an emergency, she will see her baby girl in a little bit. But Jax? This is his last time with her for several days. "Here daddy," she lifts Olivia to him, "Hold her." Jax takes her and lifts an oblivious Thomas up for Tara to hold. "Olivia is going to back to timeout with mommy." She explains. "But she has to leave first. She will wait in the timeout place for Mommy to get there."
"I want to go to timeout with you!" Abel states animatedly.
"You can't." Tara explains. "It's just for newborn babies."
"Abel, we will see mommy on Saturday, just like we always do." Jax reminds him. "Just three more days." Three days sounds like three years to him so he can only imagine how it feels for a five year old.
"Abel, it's ok." And just when things couldn't get worse…they did. Just like a fucking cockroach, there lurks Gemma. "You and Thomas are coming with me."
"No!" Abel jumps down from the bed and crosses his arms. "I don't want to go with you! I want to go with mommy and Liv!"
"Abel!" Gemma corrects sternly. "It is not okay to talk that way…."
"Leave him alone!" Tara seethes. "And wait outside. This is our business. We'll handle it."
"No, you can't handle shit." Gemma says through clenched teeth. "This is my business because I'm the one holding it down out here—"
"Mom! Shut up!" Jax cuts her off before she pushes Tara too far with the guards just a few feet away.
"No!" Gemma smirks. "I won't stop, baby. Don't you see that her actions are ripping your boys apart? Ripping you apart? She's being self—"
"Do not finish that sentence." The threat in his voice is crystal clear. "You can wait out in the hall. Or leave. I don't really care."
"Jackson—"
"Now." He waits for her to shut the door behind herself. "Babe, I'm sorry."
"Don't." He shouldn't be. This is exactly what Tara needed, to be reminded of all the bullshit that came with Jax and his life. The biggest shit being Gemma. "Just hand me stuff to start packing everyone up." It's clear that they won't be discussing anything now.
"I'm not leaving!" Abel declares.
"You have to, bud." Tara sniffles. "It'll be okay. Grandma will take you to Scoops and get you some ice cream."
"I don't want Grandma and I don't want ice cream." Abel kicks the leg of the chair. "I want you!"
"Abel!" Jax voice booms and suddenly there is silence. "Do not speak to your mother that way."
"Jax, it's okay-"
"No, it's not okay, Tara." Jax runs the one free hand he has over his face in frustration. "Nothing is okay right now." He crouches down to Abel's level with Olivia in his arms. "I know this stinks, monster. But you have to be a big boy, for Tommy and Liv, okay?" And then the tears come. Quick and unexpected and Abel pushes past Jax to run to his mother's embrace.
He sobs as he buries his head in her chest. "I'll be good, mommy. I promise. I'll be good. Take me with you." And then Tara loses it and is sobbing. She knows it's wrong, that this isn't what Abel needs but damnit she can't control it.
"I can't take you with me, buddy. I would if I could." Tara assures him. "I'm so sorry, Abel."
Suddenly the kindergartner is pulling away. "I'm mad at you, mommy!" He jumps off the bed and throws open the door. Thomas begins to cry to be put down as well. No doubt, he wants to chase after his big brother. And sure enough the second his feet hit the ground, he's following in Abel's footsteps. Tara makes out Gemma's smug grin just before she leads both boys down the corridor and out of Tara's line of vision.
"Tara—"Jax whispers.
"Don't!" She cuts him off. Fuck him, fuck his mother, and fuck his comfort.
"I'm—"
"You need to leave." The venom is tangible.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Teller, Mr. Teller." The guard interrupts. "We need to take the baby now."
And as devastated as she is, Tara's heart is ripped out of her chest when Jax kisses their daughter's tiny hand. "Daddy loves you. I'll see you in a few days." He sobs on the last word and he places her in the infant carrier. For a second, she allows herself to be comforted by her husband's embrace as they watch the transport guards take their baby girl down the hall. "This isn't how I expected it to go today." He admits.
"Me either." Tara sniffles. "You need to leave. Go be with the boys."
Why in the hell was she being so ridiculous? "I'm not leaving until you leave."
"Our sons need their father."
"And you don't need me?" How in the hell could she be so strong all the time? He didn't get it. He fucking needed her like he needed air to breathe. "Is that what you're saying?"
"Stop it, Jax." She doesn't have it in her to go twenty rounds with him at the moment. "This isn't about me. Or you. This is about our kids. And how we're screwing them up."
"We aren't screwing them up!" He defends.
She gives him an incredulous look. "Put them first for once!"
"I do!" He seethes. "I always put them first."
The saddest part of his statement is the he believes he's being honest. "The problem is your first position is too fucking full!" She shouts.
"Mr. Teller, we're going to have to escort you out now." The guard intercedes before there is a full-blown, knockdown, drag down, fight. The one where neither walks away whole.
"Don't worry." He smirks mirthlessly to mask his devastation. "I've already been booted." Not giving Tara time to think, he grabs her roughly by the neck, fingers tangled in her thick locks, and kisses her roughly. It's an apology, an I love you, an I need you, a you need me, a fuck you for not needing me as much as I need you all rolled into one.
Tara releases a sob when she hears a loud bang from down the hall that her husband just stormed through. She knows without a doubt, some innocent equipment met her husband's wrath.
