Utter Darkness - Chapter 8
Alice closed the door. We both looked at each other for a moment. She grasped my hand for a second and then let go. She walked over to her backpack that had been tossed into a chair in the corner. She unzipped it and pulled out her cell phone.
"I need to let everyone know what's going on Bella." She hit the speed dial and waited for an answer from the other side of the world. I decided to change out of the dirty, stained dress that I had been wearing. I slipped into the bedroom and rummaged through my suitcase finding comfortable jeans and an old tee shirt of Edward's The shirt was huge on me but I needed it right now. I slipped out of the dress and threw it in the trash. It was a shame to throw it away because I remember the day I bought it thinking how much Edward would like it. Now it had become nothing but a filthy reminder.
I pulled my hair out of the elastic, grabbed my brush and started to violently brush my hair. The harder I ran the brush through, the more static built up and my hair was a wild uncontrollable nebulous by the time I was done. I quickly wet my hands in the sink and used them to smooth my hair down. I threw a headband in my hair to get it out of my face.
I washed my face quickly. I looked in the mirror. Seeing the look on the face staring back at me scared me. I knew that girl. I knew her all too well. She was the same girl who walked through almost everyday of school in a state of somnambulism, pieces of her missing. A big gaping hole where her heart should have been. That girl had come back. I snapped te light off and walked hoping that girl would stay in the mirror.
I walked back into the sitting room and Alice was talking animatedly on the phone. I could hear the voice on the other end clearly all the way over here.
"He did what?!" I heard the disbelief in Rosalie's voice. "She did not….that bitch! No one does that to my sister! I'm going to come over there and rip that bitch limb from limb. No better yet, I'll hold her down and let Bella do it."
Rosalie's tirade brought a smile to my face. All those times that Rosalie intimidated me, and now here she was, my sister and my biggest champion. I could just imagine her stamping her foot like she does when she gets mad, golden eyes flashing with anger, swinging her glorious curtain of blonde hair over one shoulder with an impatient flick of her hand. Alice turned and saw me standing there. She rolled her eyes and handed me the phone.
"She wants to talk to you." I took the phone from Alice.
"Hey Rose." I said as I put the phone to my ear.
"Baby sister-- you hang in there! They aren't going to get away with this. No one crosses the Cullen family." Rose reassured me. Rosalie could be easy on the eyes, but she was a she-devil when it came to protecting her family.
"I love you too Rose. Does Nessie know?" I had to ask that painful question. I just was prepared to have to tell her yet.
"No Bella. But it's going to be hard keeping it from her. You know her and her freaky gift."
"That's what I was afraid of. Can I talk to her?" I asked. I could hear some shuffling around in the background and the sound of a door being opened.
"Hold on. I'll get her Bella. Be strong, Okay?" I was touched by Rosalie's concern for me. I waited for a couple of minutes and then I heard the sweetest voice fill my soul.
"Mommy?" I could picture her bronze curls, the same shade as Edward's. My arms ached to hold her right now. To put my nose to her throat and just smell her, feel her little arms tightening around me. I knew I had to get back home. But I was torn. I couldn't leave Edward right now.
"Hi baby! How are you?" I tried to sound cheerful. I think maybe I overdid it a bit.
"Mommy, what's wrong? Where's Daddy?" Nessie's worried voice caused my hear to constrict and Alice could see me grimace. She grabbed my hand again giving me the support I needed.
"Oh honey, he's with Carlisle and Uncle Jasper right now. I just wanted to call you to let you know that we should be home soon." I hated lying to her.
"Okay. I miss you Mommy."
I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay on the phone much longer. "Give Jacob a big hug for me okay?" I heard her childish giggle and the day brightened for just one moment.
"Bye baby. You keep listening to Esme and Aunt Rose. Be good love. I'll talk to you soon." I shut my eyes and took a moment to breathe, pray, something. I wanted her to remain untouched by this ugliness for a little while longer.
"I love you too Mommy. Give Daddy a kiss for me!" I wrenched the phone away and handed it back to Alice. I put my hand to my mouth to stop the grief from escaping. I walked over and threw myself down on the small sofa, pulling my legs up under my chin. I couldn't fold like a house of cards. Not now. My daughter needed me. And I needed her father. It took me a few minutes sitting there in Edward's old shirt, looking around the room just trying to absorb the the whole surreal feel to the situation.
I made up my mind at that point that the girl in the mirror was not coming back.
I was Bella, wife of Edward Cullen, mother of Renesmee. My family was my first and only priority and whatever it took, we would be together again as a family.
Alice finished talking to Emmett getting reassurances that they would take every precautionary measure to remain safe. She hung up after a flurry of goodbyes. She slid her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and sat down on the sofa next to me.
"You okay?"
I turned to look at her. "I don't know Alice. I feel kind of numb."
One side of her mouth quirked upward. "I can't imagine how you feel Bella. I just remember how you looked that last time you and Edward were separated. This is different though. You seem, for lack of a better word, determined.
"Alice, this affects so many more people than just me and Edward. I also know that deep in his heart he had no choice. Those last minutes together in that horrible room, his awful eyes, something passed between us."
Alice's curiosity prompted me to go one. "He was standing there telling me lies. I'm sure of it. I got the courage to look him dead in the eyes and as much as that crimson color repulsed me, I saw a flicker of something. It …Gah! I can't be imagining can I? I could swear he was pleading with me to go. I could tell that he loved me. Does that make sense?"
Alice silently bemused things over. "I can't bear to be apart from Jasper. And if what you and Edward feel for one another is anything half as strong as the bond Jazz and I share -- yeah I understand."
We both sat there for a moment, quiet and letting our words sink in. I let go of knees and in in a sudden movement I threw my arms around Alice.
"I love you Alice. I'm so glad you are my sister. I don't think I can get through this without you."
"Geez Bella! You don't have to get all sloppy on me."
And in that one moment I did the only thing I could. I burst out laughing. The sound of it shocked Alice. But then the giggles started coming from her as well. I started to laugh louder and harder. Pretty soon she and I were in hysteric, the emotion of the day working itself out through fits of laughter.
We had just calmed down when the door opened and Jasper and Carlisle walked in. We stopped immediately. Carlisle's face was dark and grim.
"Did you see Edward?" I demanded as I jumped to my feet.
"What's going on Carlisle?" Alice asked at the same time.
We could tell that it wasn't good. Carlisle walked over to me and took my hands in his.
"Bella, Listen to me."
My breath started to hitch. I knew I was going to hear something I didn't want to. I was staring at his hands in mine. He place one of his hands under my chin and raised my face to look up at him.
"Bella, we couldn't see him. He had left. He was hunting. Apparently this Gianna has a very unique gift. A very powerful gift of persuasion."
His words hammered through me. I remembered the way Edward caressed Gianna's face.
I felt like screaming.
Jasper came over to me and wrapped me in a protective hug. "Bells, well get him back -- I promise." I sagged against him hoping his words were true.
"Carlise? Did you meet with Aro?" Alice asked. I watched as Carlisle took a moment to compose his answer. I had already seen a display of his temper and I felt it was taking everything within him to control himself.
"No." His answer was so final. So bleak. I could see the war of emotions crossing his face at that moment. His only reply after that cut through all of us with hard, cold precision.
"They took my son. We take them down."
I took only a second for us to load everything into the car. We were headed home to Forks. The one place where we could plan and be safe. My heart wrenched as we passed out of the gates of Volterra.
"Good Bye my love." I whispered to myself. "I will be back to get you."
My promise hung silently in the car, driving my strength. I sat in the front with Carlisle. As I looked at his hardened face lit up by the lights of the dashboard, I knew he had finally been pushed to his limit.
His earlier words rang in my ears. We were headed for war.
***
My family raced to pack the car. I snorted to myself.
"My family." I whispered to no one in particular. Except maybe to God.
I was pretty sure that I had finally made sure that my soul no longer existed in a state of jeopardy. It had become permanently irreparable.
I had turned my back on them. The ones who loved me the most. I watched Jasper and Carlisle moving faster that the human eye could discern. Alice and Bella also kept running back and forth, adding things to the car.
I watched them from a safe promontory. I was concealed by the shadows. She was leaving. Bella was leaving. My heart took solace that she would be safe. I tried not to think about Nessie and was glad that Bella would be home soon. I didn't envy Bella the task of revealing to our daughter of the monster I had so willingly embraced and had become.
I started to to feel the pull to feed again.
Ah, Gianna. She had wicked ways of crawling inside my mind and driving the hunger. I pulled my gray cloak up over my head, shielding my eyes from the bright moonlight.
I turned to my vampire companion signaling that I was ready.
I never looked back.
