Last time:
Alphonse sighed. Apparently it was up to him to take care of it. Again. He was seriously starting to contemplate charging for his services.
"Don't worry. I'll sneak in while her back is turned and grab whoever's closest to the door."
Hughes shook his head ruefully, "An inconspicuous little angel, that one."
Roy beamed. "I like what you just said, Alphonse!" He said happily. "Thank you so much!"
Al turned and started making his way back to the office, all the while muttering under his breath, "Yeah, you damn well better thank me, you little—"
"What was that?" Roy called obliviously.
"Nothing, Sir!" Al yelled back.
Yeah, it was nothing; just the beginning of Alphonse's slow decent into madness and the inevitable apocalypse that would follow...
"Uh, okay..." Roy said, eyeing Alphonse skeptically for a moment as he watched him proceed into his office.
Hawkeye heard the door open and saw that it was Alphonse, and she gave a kind smile.
Al noticed Riza's attention on him and jerked internally, but on his face the practiced smile stayed perfectly in place. With a slight nod in the First Lieutenant's direction, the boy walked calmly to Breda's desk and tugged at his sleeve. "Lieutenant, can you come with me please?"
"Breda... go with the young Elric, please." Hawkeye put in.
The Second Lieutenant nodded, and quickly got up, "Uh... okay," he said, following Alphonse out the door.
The second Breda set a foot outside the door, Maes grabbed him by the back of the neck and dragged him further down the hall, no small feat considering their relative weights.
"Okay, Breda," Hughes demanded once the rest of the group had surrounded the man, "Where's the dog?"
"Fuery put him in a closet..." Breda said, "But there's no way I'm touching it! Dogs are monsters in cute furry outfits!"
"...Riiiight..."
"Um, Second Lieutenant?" Ed asked, "Can you show us to the closet?"
"Oh, sure." Breda said, edging down the hall and pointing to the door. "There it is..." he said, hiding behind Alphonse, "The monster's in there."
"It's okay," Al said consolingly, "You can go back to the office now. You don't have to be here when we get him out."
Breda nodded, retreating back to the office. Alphonse was right; he didn't want to be there. In his opinion, being a dog owner only made the Lieutenant scarier.
"Okay," Hughes nodded, "You get him, Roy."
Hearing the clawing coming from inside, Roy opened the door once Breda was out of sight. The dog whined and looked up at him with a wagging tail.
He picked it up, squeezing the dog in his arms happily. Everything he ever wished for relied on this dog.
Hughes gave a sigh of relief. It looked like nothing else was going to go wrong.
Ed rolled his eyes in relief. Finally it was over with. But then he paused and glared at Mustang suspiciously, "You did feed Black Hayate, right?"
Al's head pivoted slowly to face the Colonel, death in his eyes. If that poor puppy had actually gone three days with no food...
Roy hesitated, "I was too drunk to remember..." he said, "But I-I'm sure Hawkeye will feed him once she gets him back! So there's no need to worry!"
Ed narrowed his eyes and started towards the man, but his brother caught him around the chest and held him in place.
"Colonel?" Al asked sweetly over Ed's shoulder, "Do you remember that conversation we had yesterday? You know, the one where my hands became acquainted with your larynx?" His smile widened, "I think you may want to rethink your answer."
Roy held the dog in front of his face as a shield. "Err... I mean... of course I did," he answered, cringing.
Maes leaned closer to Roy, slowly so as to avoid attracting the brothers' attention, and whispered, "Good thinking there." At least this proved that Roy wasn't a total idiot afterall.
"Yeah! That's it!" Roy continued, encouraged, "Of course I fed the dog. I mean... what terrible person would even think of treating this adorable dog badly?" Roy asked, rubbing the nervous dog against his cheek.
Al let go of his brother and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly, then turned back to the older man, "That's what I thought you said."
Roy forced a nervous smile as the dog gave a whine.
Edward sighed and held out a hand to scratch behind the small dog's ears, but then he paused with his hand hovering mid-air.
"Hey..." Ed said slowly, cocking his head to the left and studying the puppy intently, "Did...Black Hayate always have that brown patch on his paw?"
Roy shook his head, his face paling. "N-no... Black Hayate was only black and white..." he said, "Wh-why?"
"...Because Black Hayate definitely has a brown spot now." Ed replied slowly.
Hughes sniffed contemptuously, "No, he doesn't." He nodded firmly. "And I'm appalled that you'd joke about such a thing, Edward."
"No..." Al recanted, leaning in to get a closer look, "There's definitely a brown—"
"I see nothing!" Hughes yelled hysterically.
"M-maybe it's just dirt... I mean he was running around the city..." Roy suggested.
"You're right, you're right!" Hughes said brightly, "Must just be dirt. We can rub that right off..."
With that he pushed the boys out of the way and wedged his way in front of Roy. He rubbed at the small paw with the corner of his jacket. There was no way this wasn't Black Hayate. The world couldn't possibly be that cruel.
...Could it?
But as the spot refused to be rubbed away, Maes's scrubbing became more frantic to the point where the puppy whined in protest at the harsh treatment.
Edward slapped Hughes upside the head and snapped, "That's enough!"
"Maybe the Lieutenant won't notice." Roy tried, "I mean, it's only a spot... The dog looks exactly the same otherwise, right?" he said, trying to cling to any hope that he could.
Ed raised one eyebrow skeptically. "Somehow I don't think that will work, Colonel."
"Yeah," Al said, an edge to his voice. "Let's test it." An ominous silence and then, "Hayate, sic him!" The boy commanded sternly, pointing to the Colonel's horrified face. The puppy whined in confusion, then turned slowly to follow the path of the finger, and licked the man's check happily.
...It was never going to work. Black Hayate might have been an adorable little puppy, but Hawkeye had trained him to go for the jugular early on.
Roy smiled, holding the puppy. "Well, I don't know what else to do," he said, "But at least Hawkeye could train him to attack. It'll give her something to do!"
Ed snorted belligerently, "What are you going to tell her, that Hayate suffered a head injury?"
"No, no..." Maes said slowly, considerately, "This might actually work. We'll tell Hawkeye we're on the dognapper's tail. And that we found, from recovering this little guy over here, that he seems to be after puppies that fit Black Hayate's description..." He nodded. "It would have the added benefit of making Hawkeye believe she wasn't targeted specifically."
" I see..." Roy said, "It's genius!"
Hughes smiled insanely. "I know, isn't it?" And then he broke off into a mad cackle.
The brothers stood awkwardly between the two giggling men, exchanged cautious glances, and then—as one—turned tail and ran from the madness. After all, they could have been wrong about it being in the water. It might've been air borne.
Roy grinned, "All right, let's go tell her!" he cheered.
Maes glared and then smacked Roy upside the head. "And where," Hughes questioned slowly, "would you have found the time to go out, chase a criminal, find a dog, and uncover a plot in the ten minutes since you went to go 'help the Elrics'?"
Maes sighed, "Come to my office with me. Then, just before the end of the day, come back with the puppy."
Roy nodded, "Okay..." he answered, carrying the puppy along with him.
He was getting out of doing his paperwork and spending time with his best friend, while avoiding the love of his life from killing him... Today might be a good day after all!
As Maes led the way to his office, he watched his friend out of the corner of his eye. And if Roy's pleased smile was anything to go by, the man was being far too optimistic on this whole situation's likely outcome.
After the Elrics had fled, they immediately holed themselves up in the library—their safe haven when in Central. Surrounded by books, the smell of old leather, and yellowing paper, they were able to calm down.
"Nii-san?" Alphonse questioned from his spot at his brother's side, the both of them nearly buried under a pile of books, "Can we never have anything to do with these people outside of the office ever again?" A beat. "Ever?"
Ed hunched further over his book in an attempt not to hiss at his little brother. "You were the one that made us get involved in the first place!"
Al gulped. "Well...Yeah, but..."
...Mei...
...Winry...
"...Okay, Al."
Winry walked by Mei's side. "I wonder where those boys are..." she thought before answering her own question, "Wait... where else would they be?" She mentally smacked herself for her carelessness.
Turning to her walking companion, she smiled and pointed to the building behind her. "How about we hit the library for a second?"
Mei blinked at her companion's sudden remark, then blinked again once she processed the words. "Are we allowed to go in there? I thought those building were restricted?"
"Two cute girls like us can get in easy!" Winry said, "Just watch..."
She went up to the stairs towards the guards. "Hey! Do you know where a girl could...y'know...pick up a book or two?"
"Um...W-well, that is..." Ryan trailed off uncertainly. He wasn't supposed to let anyone in but State Alchemists. It was a matter of national security and he had been charged with that duty. But…
Damn, the little blonde in front of him was a cutie. This just wasn't fair! ...Maybe he could point her to the public library down the street and then ask her for a cup of coffee...
"Y'know... some good research material...?" WInry asked, fluttering her eyelashes, "I mean... what about this library? It looks pretty big... Maybe you could... let us in? Pretty please?" Winry asked.
"Oh..." Mei whispered wide-eyed. That might just work...
She felt a little uncomfortable with the idea, but if it would enable her to see Alphonse-sama...
She approached the shorter of the two guards brightly and looked up at him with the eyes that used to get her whatever she desired in court. "Hello, soldier-san." She smiled coyly up at the young man through her lashes, "You look dashing in that uniform..."
Jim looked down at her, "Y-you really think so?" he stammered, "Well... you're pretty cute yourself..."
Mei giggled and glided ever so slowly closer to the man's side, then stared up at him and batted her eyes adoringly.
"W-well, ladies..." Ryan addressed the two, gulping and straightening his shoulders. Life was so unfair...
"I'm afraid that only authorized military personal are allowed in this building, b-but if you want there's a—" He cut off there, because a small but impossibly hard fist took that moment to collide with his face.
Edward Elric considered himself a pretty laid back guy. So he got a little upset when people mocked him, so what? Didn't everybody? For the most part, he was calm and thought things through in a very logical and scientific manner. He carefully considered all consequences before acting.
But this? This just wasn't acceptable.
He was calmly walking out of the Central library next to his beloved little brother when what does he see? That damned Ryan hitting on an innocent girl like Winry! He always knew there was something off about that guy...
So here he was, standing over the guard's unconscious body, the sounds of Alphonse teaching the other bastard a lesson floating distantly to his ears, and standing face-to-face with the girl of his dreams...
Oh crap.
Winry looked at Ed absolutely horrified. "What was that for, Ed?!" she asked, kneeling down to help the guard up, after all, it was partially her fault that he got hit…but she'd never admit that.
Winry eyed Ed, looking for an answer. "WELL?" she asked, drawing her wrench from her back pocket.
Al wasn't quite sure what the feeling that was coursing through his body was. He had a suspicion it might be "murderous intent." Yeah... that seemed about right.
So, in the fashion of teenaged boys everywhere, Al followed his gut and lunged at the bastard. He'd teach him to mess with his girl...
Mei stared on in horror as Alphonse-sama beat the nice man she had been talking to into the ground. Though on the other hand...he was fighting to defend her honor...
"Go Alphonse-sama!" Mei cheered, just on this side of swooning.
Jim covered his head with his arms and begged through a bloodied lip, "H-hey... I didn't mean any trouble! She was hitting on me!" He stammered, "I swear!"
His eye twitching, Al screamed, "What did you just say about Mei-chan?!" He rushed forward to strike him with an uppercut to the jaw. "She's not that type of girl!!!" he informed the downed man sternly.
On the other side of the stairs, Ed backed was backing slowly away from Winry. "B-but, Winry..." He stuttered, backing up slightly, "He was talking advantage of you!" He looked her in the eye and begged earnestly, "I couldn't let him treat you like that!"
"It's sweet of you to think that way, Ed, but that's no reason to use violence!" She said.
She then turned to Alphonse, "That includes you, Al! We were hitting on those two guards so they'd let us into the library!"
Ed snorted. It didn't matter why Ryan had done it, it was more than enough reason to use violence.
"...Oh," Al laughed sheepishly, slowly climbing off the guard's prone body.
Behind him, Mei pouted. She had been enjoying watching Alphonse-sama fight the man. Though... she supposed it wasn't as much fun once the guard had passed out anyway.
Winry glanced at Ed's sullen face. "I mean it, Ed!" she shouted, "THAT'S how you damage my beautiful automail!"
Ed blink, dumbfounded. "That's not how I break the automail. I mean, metal fist to face...There's a clear winner there. When the automail breaks it's because I..."
He cut off quickly and gulped, "You know what? Never mind."
Winry glowered at him, "HOW do you break my automail?!" She hissed, "You better tell me, Edward Elric!" She held her wrench threateningly above her head.
"Ah, th-that is...uh..." Ed paled and stuttered, looking around frantically for an out. Any out. When none presented itself, Edward, being a particularly resourceful boy, made one himself.
"Oh my god!" He cried suddenly, pointing randomly over Winry's shoulder, "Is that Black Hayate?" And with that he whipped around, grabbed Al's hand, and bolted down the street.
Winry looked back, and when she turned around, she spotted Ed and Al sprinting away at top speed.
"GET BACK HERE!" She shouted, running after them, wrench in hand.
