Chapter 8(BB)
"Wah-glug-glug, bob-bob, my bunghole delivers TP to the almighty blood god! All bow before the wrath of my mighty bunghole!" Beavis announced enthusiastically to a confused group of people in a public walkway. He had his blue T shirt pulled up over his head and arms held out and forearms bent up at 90 degree angles.
"Who are you?" Asked a confused woman in the crowd.
"I am the great Khorne-Holio! I work to bring TP to the blood god's bunghole!" Beavis proclaimed fanatically.
The crowd murmured fearfully whispering "he's a chosen of the blood god."
"Are you threatening me!?" Beavis demanded at the whispering crowd.
"No! NO!" The scared crowd insisted frantically and backed away cautiously.
"My bunghole demands TP for the blood god!" Beavis shouted insanely.
The crowd ran off and returned a few minutes later carrying toilet paper, laying it in tribute at Beavis's feet.
"My bunghole is pleased with your TP, very very happy, yes..." Beavis muttered quietly placated.
The crowd dispersed gratefully as Beavis gathered up as much toilet paper as he could carry as he muttered to himself about his bunghole.
The ship was now getting to nearly lethal levels of air temperature and the hotter it got, the more deranged Beavis became. He was currently so delirious from the heat that he was almost completely insane, and behaving ever more erratically.
All around Beavis were desperately overheated people, sweating naked, unable to cool themselves down. They were scared and becoming feverish and delirious enough themselves to take Beavis seriously as a favourite servant of the blood god Khorne.
"My bunghole is almighty, oh bumgholio-oo-oo-oo-oh. The holy bunghole has no hole in its bunghole, all bow down to the blood god's bunghole's bunghole's bunghole!" Beavis chanted religiously.
"Oh favoured of Khorne, please petition the blood god to cool down the ship and spare our lives!" Begged a group of deranged passers by in the walkway, bowing before him in worship.
"The bunghole of the great Khorne-Holio says wah-ca-titi-blub-blub-ah-bog-bog-wah-cha-la-fub-lub-dub-awe-titicaca-Nicaragua-fob-shlob-wahaha!" Beavis proclaimed to the worship filled group of feverish chaos worshippers.
"Oh command us oh favoured one!" The crowd begged in awe.
"Gather up the TP! It is TP for the blood god and his almighty bunghole!" Beavis told them.
The group obediently gathered up all the toilet paper and carried it all for Beavis, leaving his arms free to resume the characteristic position of Khorne-Holio. Beavis continued walking down the walkway spouting bizarre gibberish, with an ever growing band of fearful followers trailing behind him hopefully, carrying armfuls of toilet paper.
Beavis and his new disciples arrived at a temple of the Blood God Khorne. Beavis kicked the door open and walked inside flanked by his crowd of followers.
"Can I help you?" Asked a highly confused warrior priest of Khorne, the priest who tended to this particular temple.
"I am the great Khorne-Holio! I bring TP for the blood god!" Beavis bellowed at the top of his voice.
"What the fuck are you talking about?! Toilet paper is not an appropriate offering to the blood god!" The warrior priest shouted angrily.
"Are you threatening me!? No one shall stand in the way of TP for the blood god's bunghole! All unbelievers shall have TP shoved up their bungholes!" Beavis demanded feverishly.
The crowd of Beavis's followers surged forward and overpowered the outraged warrior priest and proceeded to ram excessive amounts of toilet paper up his backside as Beavis gibbered and giggled like a complete lunatic.
"No one shall deny the will of the almighty bunghole! Gather up all TP! TP for the bunghole!" Beavis commanded his followers in a frenzy.
***...
Some time later the temple of Khorne was filled to capacity with rolls of toilet paper, devotedly arranged by members of the newly founded "Cult of the Bunghole". It was a truly bizarre spectacle watching worshippers fanatically offering up toilet paper for Khorne's almighty bum hole!
The chaos lord walked into the temple, intent on praying to Khorne for the safety of the ship. He looked around the temple in astonishment at all the toilet paper and asked what the hell was going on.
"We are the Cult of Khorne's bunghole, we offer TP for his bum hole," said the entire crowd of fanatics in unison.
"Um... Uh... What the actual fuck?" The chaos lord asked in complete bewilderment.
"All hail Khorne's almighty bum hole," the crowd insisted.
The chaos lord had seen some weird shit in his long life, but this really took the prize for the most bizarre. He very slowly backed away out of the temple and got the fuck out of there, deciding that maybe he should try a different temple of Khorne. This one was just too fucking weird!
***...
Lunatic followers of "Khorne-Holio" were now patrolling the ship in groups, stealing everyone's toilet paper and sprouting deranged gibberish about Khorne's backside. The cult was growing in number by the minute and was in danger of taking over the entire ship in an orgy of toilet paper related violence. It was absolutely bizarre.
An announcement sounded over the commandeered public announcement system of the ship, and Beavis's voice addressed the ship.
"I am the great Khorne-Holio, prophet of the sacred bunghole! I have no bum hole! My bum hole has no bum hole! The blood god has a bunghole, but his bunghole has it's own bunghole! The blood god's bunghole goes awe-haha-fubfub-blug-blog-fab-flob-blah-blah-ca-cha... (the random gibberish continued for quite some time)... All will bow down before the will of the almighty bunghole! All who resist will lose their bum holes!" Beavis proclaimed with absolute insanity.
The entire crew panicked at the threat of having their anuses surgically removed and as one the crew swore oaths of loyalty to this new great prophet in their midst.
*to be continued*
