Disclaimer: - I don't own gravitation. Maki Murakami does.


Chapter Eight

Shuichi sat at the island table in the kitchen two days after his parents and sister left for their cruise eating a sandwich while Ryuichi leaned on the sink counter telling him jokes. They had just spent the morning working in the studio together, and so far he had one song finished and they had sent it to Hiro and Suguru to get the music done. K had urged them to come up for some fresh air and lunch while he talked to Hiro and Suguru. Teresa, the blonde woman who he was learning to like was seated beside him sipping at her green tea.

"I have a joke for you, Tessa-chan," Ryuichi said with a grin. He'd been telling them to her all morning. "Do you want to hear it?"

"As long as it's funny," Teresa replied.

"They are always funny," Shuichi said with a grin at her. "Make it a good one Ryu-chan."

"Alright, deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate and said, "Dear, I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

"That is so sad," Teresa said holding back a grin, while Shuichi chuckled. "It's funny, but really sad, Ryuichi."

"Oh yeah, how about this one," Ryuichi said. "One day two ladies met up for a spot of lunch, one of the ladies said to the other, "Did you come on the bus?" The other lady replied. "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."

Teresa spit out her tea as she burst out laughing. Shuichi shook his head as he reached over to rub her back as the tea started choking her as well. He had heard that joke once before, Ryuichi always pulled it out when he was trying to impress people.

"How was that one," Ryuichi asked with a nonchalant smile. Shuichi couldn't help bursting into laughter at the 'cat caught the canary' expression on his face. He was such a goof.

"What's with the idiocy," Yuki said into the room as he walked in and headed straight for the coffee pot.

Teresa got a hold of her breath and nodded toward Ryuichi. "He just made the funniest joke, I can't get over it."

"It's hard to imagine," Yuki said getting a mug from the cupboard above the coffee maker.

Shuichi got off his stool and went to stand beside Yuki. The past two days felt like a blur to him. K and Teresa kept him so busy; he barely had time to pay attention to Yuki. Half the time, he didn't want to think that the man was in the same house prowling around, and the other half of the time, he was thinking up ways of understanding what was in the man's head.

"Should you be drinking coffee, Eiri?" Shuichi asked quietly. "Your ulcers, they are not healed yet."

"I'll be fine," Yuki replied just as quietly. Reaching for the creamers in a jar, his hand brushed Shuichi's and they both froze. "Do you have time this afternoon?"

The touch of those fingers, Shuichi closed his eyes, and took in the shiver that ran down his back. "I- uh, I -," sneaking a glance back at Teresa and Ryuichi, he frowned when he realized that they were no longer in the room. "Sure, I have time, why?"

"I want to show you something," Yuki said. He picked up his coffee cup and sipped it. Turning around, he didn't act surprised when he found that Teresa and Ryuichi were gone. Instead he leaned on the counter and continued drinking his coffee. "How is the song writing coming along?"

"Not," Shuichi answered. "I have one song finished, a million more to go."

"With your lyric writing capabilities, it shouldn't be that hard," Yuki said glancing down at him. Shuichi caught the smile in his eyes and stopped the retort he was about to return. It seemed as though Yuki was actually trying to make a joke. Shaking his head, Shuichi leaned against the counter too, his arm brushing Yuki's. It felt really good to just be with him like this.

"Where are we going?" Shuichi asked wondering what Yuki wanted to show him. It was rare for them to go out together in the last few months. In fact, even K had stopped scheduling events that required both of them to be present at the same time. Probably afraid of a war breaking out, running a hand through his bangs, Shuichi snuck another glance at Yuki.

"Be patient," Yuki said. He sipped his coffee and pushed off the counter. "Meet me at the front door at two o'clock, alright."

Glancing at the clock on the all, Shuichi realized that it was only one o'clock. He had an hour to get ready for whatever outing his lover was planning. Glancing down at his clothes he frowned. An old t-shirt and sweat pants definitely warranted a change. Shrugging, he nodded to Yuki and watched him leave the room.


An hour later, Shuichi sat in the back of the black Mercedes Rico used with Yuki seated beside him chewing furiously on gum. He was glad to see that the man was keeping his promise. It was a very good sign, he thought with a hidden smile. Somewhere inside the stranger seated beside him, his Yuki still existed.

"If you keep staring at me, I'm going to kiss you senseless," Yuki said his gaze still fixed on the window on his side.

Shuichi blushed and shook his head. "I wouldn't mind it."

"That's new," Yuki said. "You're so prim some times; it's hard to keep up."

Right now he wouldn't care if Yuki was to strip him and take him in the back of this car. That was how much he needed him. To feel the man's touch again, to want him and need him close. Being a part of Yuki was a kin to breathing. Dropping his gaze to his lap, he clenched them tight at the urge to throw his arms around his lover.


Yuki didn't miss the sad expression on Shuichi's face before he looked down. Those elegant fingers were clenched tightly, fighting for control. Swallowing hard, he reached out and took them in his own. Holding them gently, he kept his gaze staring out the window. He wasn't sure what he was going to get out of this afternoon, but he was going to try his best. Besides, that Ryuichi was going to be a thorn on his side if he didn't stake his claim and keep a firm hold on it.

The car turned suddenly and he realized that they were almost to their destination. It had been easy to get Rico on his side; the man seemed to worship the ground Shuichi walked on. Anything to get the little punk's spirits up received a high mark. Meeting the man's gaze in the rearview mirror, he gave him a small nod as the car drove up to a tea house.

Rico parked at the entrance and came around to open the door for Shuichi. Yuki followed him out and gave Rico another short nod. Rico reached into his pocket and handed him a key. Pointing to a gray Mercedes parked in the parking lot, Yuki followed Shuichi into the reception area. They were met by a pleasant woman who led them to the room he'd reserved for them.

"Wow," Shuichi exclaimed as they walked through the halls. The décor was traditional Japanese. The floors made up of tatami mats, flower arrangements and screen walls with beautiful drawings. "I didn't know a place like this was so close."

"It does," Yuki said quietly. "Actually, Ms. Tsunade rents it for a couple of hours to guests who want some peaceful time. We have it until tomorrow morning."

"The whole place," Shuichi asked in shock.

"Yes," Yuki answered as they were led into a bright room. Tea was already laid out on a short table. The screen doors open on the veranda side to show off a beautiful Zen garden. Shuichi stared at the sight in surprise and Yuki took the time to talk to the woman who waited back at the door. Handing her his credit card, he took the red card she handed him. Slipping it into his pockets, he watched as she closed the door before he turned back to find Shuichi seated on one of the cushions already pouring the tea.

Moving to sit across him, Yuki marveled at easy way he was doing it. Those slender fingers holding the tea pot delicately, he placed the pot on its resting mat before he slid Yuki's cup over. He was careful about it. No doubt wary that he might spill the contents. Thinking of the disasters he'd seen in their kitchen at home, Yuki appreciated the care Shuichi was taking. It was hard to understand what usually went wrong with him in the kitchen. From burning frying pans, broken plates and cups, overflowing dishwasher, spilled noodles on the floor, he shuddered. Too many disasters, he thought.

"This place is beautiful, Eiri," Shuichi said quietly.

"Is there a reason you've taken to calling me by first name?" Yuki asked. He'd noted the change and as great as it was, the reasons for Shuichi doing it were unsettling.

"I-," Shuichi started but he stopped. Staring at his tea, he shrugged. "It's a good name. Besides, you call me Shuichi, so I figured I should call you Eiri."

"And it has nothing to do with the truth of my past?" Yuki asked quietly.

Shuichi glanced up quickly, his eyes wide with shock. He gulped for a moment, before his hands dropped away from his tea cup and down to his lap. "I'm sorry."

"What for," Yuki asked sipping at his tea. "There is nothing you can do to change my past. It happened, we move on."

"Don't brush it off so easily," Shuichi said his eyes flashing with anger. "Hiding it from me has caused so much pain already, don't you think it is a big deal after all."

"I need you to let it go," Yuki said then, holding his gaze. "I want you to forget that story Mika told you, because that's best for you and me."

Shuichi stared at him, before he pushed off the table and got to his feet. Walking to the open screen doors, he stood there for a moment trembling as though caught in some sort of storm. When he didn't move again, Yuki sighed and rubbed his eyes. He'd hoped that it would end like that. It would be so much easier that way. Letting another sigh escape, he got to his feet too and walked over to where Shuichi stood. Placing his hands on the trembling shoulders, he turned Shuichi around and drew him in to a tight hug.

"Shuichi," Yuki said into the slender shoulder. "I want you to forget that story because having two of us with those memories is not what I want. They are mine to carry, my burden, Shuichi. I need you happy."

Shuichi's arms moved around his waist and then they squeezed tightly. "I can't help carrying them as well. That man who hurt you, Eiri, I can't help but want to protect you. I can't call you Yuki anymore, because that name belongs to that bastard who hurt you. I know it causes you pain to hear me say it."

"Shuichi," Yuki said in shock. He'd never thought that Shuichi would think it through this far.

"Those ulcers you're getting," Shuichi continued. "I'm the one causing them. You're thinking about that man, and what happened to him. The only explanation is because I keep calling you Yuki. I won't be the reason you hurt. I can't bear it. I won't."

"Shuichi," Yuki gasped. His eyes stinging with tears, it surprised the hell out of him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. Shaking as the sobs filled him, he held on tightly to Shuichi. Closing his eyes, the tears fell down his face as Shuichi did his best to hold him up.

Shuichi held on as he cried, running a hand down his back soothingly. The number of times he had yelled at him came back and the pain of those moments filled his heart. He couldn't forgive himself for the pain he'd caused Shuichi. There hadn't been a reason for it. At some point they sank to the carpeted floor and Shuichi sat cradling his head on his shoulder. The sobs subsided and for the first time in months, Yuki took in a deep breath without feeling guilty.

"Eiri," Shuichi said with a soothing voice. "I have never seen you cry. Are you sure you're okay? You're not hurting somewhere are you?"

"I'm fine," Yuki said quietly. This was embarrassing enough, reaching into his pocket he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped at his face. Being around Shuichi was bad for his image he decided. Bringing the handkerchief up to his face, he wiped at his eyes and nose. Taking in a deep breath, he pulled back away from Shuichi's shoulder and refrained from meeting inquiring amethyst eyes.

Shuichi ran a hand along his shoulder and then brought it up to his neck. Shuichi's thumb stroked his jaw gently before he came up on his knees to kiss him. It was a sweet gentle kiss that was meant to sooth. Yuki took it allowing the warmth to run through his body filling gaps he didn't know existed.

"Your lips are salty," Shuichi said after a moment. Leaning back, he wiped at the tear tracks with his palm. Biting his bottom lip gently, he sat back on his heels and met Yuki's gaze. "I want you to tell me that story. It was hard for Mika to tell it, and I know it will be even harder for you. But, I need to understand why you chose to use his name."

"Shuichi," Yuki sighed. Folding the handkerchief he was holding, he shook his head. "You don't need to do this."

"I do," Shuichi insisted. "I've lived through the past months, Eiri. I saw what those memories were turning you into. And I don't want to do it again without having a compass to navigate. It was hell, Eiri; because I love you to death, and there were moments I thought I was going crazy because of it."

"So you ran off to a hotel room," Yuki asked with a frown. "Who were you with?"

"You still dare ask me that?" Shuichi snapped poking a finger into Yuki's chest. "I can't believe what you think of me. Why do you always assume the worst?"

Yuki hid a smile at the outburst. Truth was, Shuichi was such an open book, and it wasn't possible for him to have an affair. He knew that. The problem lay in the fact that Shuichi didn't see Ryuichi's intentions. And if he did, he didn't think it a problem. It was driving him nuts, especially after that stupid little telling to that idiot had given him. Shaking his head, he returned his attention back to his little boy toy. "I can't help being jealous, my love. But this story, you can't ask me to tell you, Shuichi. I can't."

"Why not," Shuichi demanded.

"I need time," Yuki replied. "I can't even tell it to my psychiatrist without falling apart. I think I've embarrassed myself enough today, don't you think."

"It's not embarrassing to talk to me," Shuichi said with a small smile. "I'm always telling you things and crying with you."

"You're different," Yuki said thinking about a bout of Shuichi's crying. His lover could be such a drama queen when he chose to be. "I don't think you've ever kept anything inside for too long."

"I tried when we were fighting," Shuichi confessed quietly. "I thought I was going to die from it. I don't think I ever want to do it again."

"I'm sorry," Yuki said matching his tone. "Forgive me, Shuichi for making you leave our home."


Okay, this man was really trying to make him bawl with all the tears he had been given at creation. Shuichi took in a deep breath to control the lump in his throat. He couldn't believe it. Holding his emotions in, he opted for control since Yuki was obviously having a really emotional day. Instead, he leaned in and hugged him. Kneeling on the carpet, he pressed his body to Yuki and held him as tightly as he could.