Disclaimer: I don't own a thing of DNAngel- DNAngel and all it's characters/plot belong to Yukiru Sugisaki . (who I wish I was-the series is absolutely awesome!)
Warnings: Yaoi (But you'll have to wait a while for that one…), some angstness…
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Everything I Hate Revolves Around You
Lament 8: For Silence and Deviancy's Sake
Miraculously, Daisuke managed to come home on Saturday morning without rousing any suspicion from his mom. His only slightly rumpled, tired appearance was taken by Emiko as he had had a wonderful time and had spent either the night over at that house or at Krad's. Daisuke winced as she hugged him and affectionately rumpled his hair. If only she knew…
Knew what? What was there to know? Daisuke trudged with leaden legs straight to his bathroom. Trembling, he tore the clothes from his still slightly sticky body and stepped into the relief of a blasting hot shower. The steam did wonders to his headache, but not for the growing feeling of dread.
Now that the pounding had subsided, all the clues were there and it didn't take a genius to figure out the very vague particulars of what happened the night before. It was just the overwhelming information itself that brought Daisuke to his knees, right there in the shower, and let loose a raw sob, A sudden madness overcame him and, grabbing a scrubber, he vigorously rubbed, and rubbed, and rubbed until his skin was lobster red and still that tainted feeling didn't disappear. In despair, the small boy let the scrubber fall from his now weak fingers and he pressed his head against the cool walls of the shower. Again, the wounded sobs bubbled forth and once they started they didn't stop-salted bitter tears flowed and mixed with the water and the fluids running off his body.
He was so repulsed, even the mere thought of having to clean himself down there made him sick. To even touch a place he was defiled severely in an effort to cleanse what little he could…
Daisuke sighed, the urge to throw up very strong. Unable to control that many urges over his sore body, he wrenched loudly, hoping and praying that his mom of all people didn't hear him being violently sick. That would entail going to a doctor and having an examination…and above all else, he wanted to avoid that. It was the last thing he wanted anyone to find out that he wasn't…
The red head looked down at himself, finding a thin trail of caked blood in his inner thigh. Grabbing the brush again with new energy, he scrubbed the dried blood away and kept on scrubbing even when it was long gone.
The longer he tried to erase what remained on his body, the more bit and pieces came back to him…
There were whispers. Ear nibbles. Kisses. Daisuke blushed at that a bit. The kisses were something that he knew were completely mind blowing, beyond something even he could dream up. Then there were touches…
And…
Daisuke, at this point did not let his mind go further. There was indefinitely more…he stopped scrubbing.
But throughout it all, Daisuke knew one thing with stark clarity, and with a sense of both wild pleasure and chilling fear. He enjoyed it. He wanted it. He craved it…
But was that feeling still the same? Because, as dim as the memories were, Daisuke remembered that much. And what he remembered was a feeling of being wanted so much it was a pleasurable hurt…
A slow stirring in his abdomen just about make Daisuke's heart stop. Ruby eyes reluctant, he looked down and bit his lip. That pretty much answered it. Answered the question of weather he was still in want of everything that he experienced. And he was now feeling sickened with himself. His body. Everything.
He shut off the shower quickly, willing his excitement to go away. Yet even the thought of Dark, which was enough to even darken any smile on his face, didn't kill it. And, above all else, above even the horrified realization that he was no longer an innocent, that struck him the most to his very soul.
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"Ano…konichiwa, is Daisuke here?"
There was a pause, a soft smile on Emiko's mouth.
"Hai, of course Krad, but I really think he's had enough excitement to last a while…just so long as you don't horse around too much-nani? Something wrong?"
Krad swallowed and shook his head. No matter how much he liked Daisuke's mom (in a very brotherly way, of course.) he wouldn't set alarm bells ringing just yet. There was something very, very wrong…
"Ah, ie, actually…when did he come back?"
"Just a few minutes ago…" Emiko's smile turned into a grin. "He's growing up so fast! Wanting to spend the night…"
Krad paled. Luckily, the twittering woman hardly noticed. Sadly, the blond had to interrupt her.
"Gomen, but Daisuke…?"
"Oh! Ah, hai…er, Daisuke??" She ducked her head and called up at the stairs but stopped in mid breath. Daisuke was already standing at the bottom step and was already strolling towards the two.
"Hai?" Ruby eyes slid fleetingly on Krad's own yellow ones and nodded briefly. "Ah…hey, Krad."
"We need to talk." There was a slight edge in his voice that escaped all but the red head. That coupled with the fleeting look of some hidden worry took Daisuke by surprise. Still puzzled over the underlying fervor he nodded briefly. Emiko had completely lost this underlying messages sent and continued to beam.
"Well, alrighty, you two…just keep the noise down." And she bustled away, whistling. Again, the two friends decided not to question her whimsy ways.
The two entered the living room, Daisuke still barely wincing with every step. He was so sore…especially…
Krad plopped down on the sofa and Daisuke took a seat in the sofa across from him, trying not to let a noticeable pang of discomfort flash across his face. He gingerly lowered himself then sank back quickly, ruby eyes still betraying the soreness he felt.
Krad was no fool. He saw the flash of pain and paled even more, but for reasons his sub consciousness was withholding, this was highly disturbing.
There was an awkward silence that stretched for more than an eternity and a half. Finally-
"So...what's up Krad?' Daisuke carefully asked, breaking the silence. Gold orbs narrowed slightly and the blond leaned forward.
"Something happened. Someone lied to me along the way or whatever." Krad laid his uneasy thoughts bare, drawing a surprised look from Daisuke. "But I just can't shake the feeling…Daisuke what happened? I don't remember much, but someone told me you had left after you were dancing…"
The creeping fear that the red head already had suddenly grew tenfold. Daisuke impulsively rubbed his temples, trying to remember. Why couldn't he remember anything…? One would be unsettled badly if one couldn't remember the particulars of the night before…
"I…don't remember either." He half lied. "What happened? All I remember…was that everyone was being so different…talking to me like the actually were interested…and then I drank a lot of punch…and that's where I can't remember that much more…."
"Dark spiked the punch." Krad dully cut in, a slight growl in his voice. Daisuke's eyes widened slightly. Spiked…???
"He spiked..?? Wait a minute-!" The red head was shaking slightly now-but it was out of building rage. "He didn't-! Please tell me its not-!"
"What you think it is? Yes, it is." Krad's Adonis face twisted into a terrible expression. Daisuke, would had nearly half stood in his agitation sat back down a bit too fast and winced noticeably. He'd have to tell himself on Monday, if the…aches…didn't go away not to do that. "He added alcohol to it. Not enough to be noticeable if anyone was familiar with the taste but enough that, if one was intent enough, someone could smell it." Just like I did…Krad thought, with a twinge of guilt. He remembered Daisuke all giggly, leaning against his arm. And he could have said something…
But he didn't. And he was no better than the demon that put it in there in the first place.
So what was he? An accessory to…what? Here, his brain caught on a snag. It was something very vague, pressing at the very corners of his mind, but if he even dared to reach out, consider it…
"When did you find out??" He couldn't blame Daisuke's voice being slightly screechy. Heck, he'd be a bit screechy too if he couldn't remember half of what happened and there was gapping hole in his memory…
"By my tenth cup…" Krad answered softly, and by the time you were too far gone to be in your right senses…he added privately, yellow eyes never leaving Daisuke.
"And you didn't tell me??"
Krad was taken aback by the desperation in Daisuke's voice. Now his vague fears and suspicions were crawling out and tormenting his mind…
The way his ruby eyes glittered with the light of a trapped animal fearing something indefinitely worse than fire itself…
"Daisuke…" He tried to keep his voice calm. "Did…anything happen to you? Anything?"
Even though the treading was very carefully done, Daisuke flinched, making the suspicion all the more prominent. The red head was instantly on the defensive. No, nothing happened, he tried to tell himself before he could let the lie flow past his lips.
But Daisuke's silence was a damming answer in and of itself. Krad already had whatever shaky suspicions grounded and solidified. Daisuke read this in Krad's now sorrowful, guilty-wait, guilty?
Yes. Guilt. But for what…?
"W-what happened, Daisuke…?"
"I…don't remember." Daisuke averted his eyes, the dented inflection in his voice proof enough that it wasn't true. H e was shaking, shaking badly…Concerned, the dark theories growing steam, Krad leaned forward, wanting desperately to comfort Daisuke.
"Daisuke…"
The red head shook his head. If he denied it enough…if he told himself over and over that it never happened…
"Did you leave the party?"
A bit curious at the shift in questioning, the red head looked up.
"Nani? No, I stayed…" Daisuke paused. "The rest of the night."
It was the way he said it, with his soft, admitting tone, the slightly small shifting on the couch, the very tilt of his head downwards that made the worst theory of them all come full blown to the forefront of his mind. And when their eyes met, Daisuke could read it clear as day how Krad took the information. And it wasn't a way he wanted to address.
"Dai….suke…" The blonde's voice was choking up considerably and, frowning in feigned confusion, Daisuke stood up, still feeling that familiar pang of pain from the bottom up. "I'm…I'm so sorry…"
And suddenly, he was gone, running out the door, slamming it with considerable force. Krad left a tormented red head who could only gaze blankly ahead, unsure of why his friend was apologizing when no wrong had been committed…
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Monday was the hardest thing he had ever returned to. And it wasn't that people were treating him just as badly as they had always done-no, in fact, it was the slight opposite. That, however had been something of a culture shock, the way he was said hi to for the first time when he passed someone by. And it was the calmer civil air in which he now worked in that was an odd but welcomed change. But it wasn't, too, the more sympathetic constantly apologizing Krad either.
No, what made Monday the most difficult was the very person who had always made it so hard to keep going.
Daisuke would have expected near well anything in the way of Dark's usual tendencies to be ten times worse. Had he gone the way of the general populace in being civil to him, he would have thought Dark really was on some good crack, but it still was beyond his imagination if he really, really stretched it. But to be caught with a stone silent Dark was something that Daisuke hadn't expected.
As he worked, he half expected the black haired boy to lean over as he always did and whisper degrading phrases, tease him to no end, or something along those lines. But when nothing came, he really thought that he was dreaming. Though it definitely wasn't an outcome he expected, it was better than to expect torment or half civility…
Maybe he'd reconsider that last point on weather he preferred that or not.
But it was when he stood up to leave that he received an even more platonic shock.
Daisuke felt a prickly sensation the he was being stared at intently and, on reflex he looked over to his right where Dark's presence was. His eyes flickered upwards-and froze.
Dark's face was neutral-something that Daisuke thought was impossible in and of itself. If he could have been repeatedly in shock, he would have been quite immune by now. And yet it wasn't really this that sent his already shaky mind into disarray-it was the look deeply buried in amethyst eyes that did it.
What caught him off guard was that it was very similar to the looks Krad had given him countless times before-with a twist. A thrumming hunger subtly underlay it.
It was nothing short of lewd…devious.
Daisuke bolted.
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He really shouldn't have looked up at Dark.
The older teen watched his retreating back, a smirk that was drastically different than the mocking ones he always threw at the boy. The door slammed shut but it did nothing to wipe the expression off his face.
"So hot and bothered already…?" He mumbled to himself, just low enough that no one but he could hear it. He strolled out, closing the door carefully behind him. "There'll be plenty more when that's coming from…"
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Why…?
Why…??
WHY???
Daisuke leaned his head back against the wall, panting. He stole a glance at his watch. He still had five more minutes…
I could have handled anything!! Daisuke screamed at himself. Anything that Dark twisted into!! But not-! Not that!!
But what had Dark become? Daisuke covered his ruby eyes from the world. Was it just the looks that he was most likely imagining that rubbed him wrong? (1) Daisuke winced. Wrong choice of words…
Why is he doing this…acting…no, looking at me like Krad does-except in a dirtier way…?
Daisuke let his hand fall from his face, the look of pure shock on his face. Legs beginning to tremble, he felt his knees beginning to buckle…
"You really shouldn't collapse on the floor again-I really wouldn't want to be carrying you to the office again, now would I?"
Daisuke wobbled, still using the wall for support and tensed visibly. Dark was leaning against the same wall on one shoulder, only a foot away from him. His stylish bangs, as they always were made up to be, were half falling in graceful strands to cover one eye. The red head's hands pressed against the wall for added support and to edge him away from Dark. Again with that damned neutral, emotionless look on the other male's face! Daisuke forced himself to glare at Dark, who remained completely unfazed. He really didn't want to acknowledge the fact that his tone too, was neutral with no hint of anything…sinister.
No, wrong. His eyes were enough to speak what his words weren't doing.
"Couldn't bother keeping up your, 'oh, I'm not out to make your life a living hell' act?" Daisuke was relieved to here his voice have as much of the bitter edge as it always had. Dark said nor did nothing for two seconds, then did something that startled Daisuke beyond words. One lone finger reached out unhurriedly and trailed down Daisuke's soft cheek. Body numb, Daisuke just stood there, like a deer caught into shockingly bright headlights, his eyes just as wide if not wider.
Dark held Daisuke's gaze for a long moment, even as his finger trailed back up and down in a slow, lucid stroking movement that left nothing in the way of imagination.
The uncharacteristically tender gesture that should-couldn't-be right pushed a memory to the forefront of his mind and with a cry, he swatted the finger away.
Yet even as he dashed off to his next class, cheeks burning form the contact, he wondered in terror why that simple touch alone was enough to awaken both a dark desire he had never felt before and a cold certainty that came only with the knowledge that it was oddly familiar. But even the inner silence his brain had taken to these pressing questions gave him little comfort when a demon was changing his very game.
Dark again watched the boy run away form him, his smile tinged with a bit of a foreign emotion that, had anyone been passing by and had looked, would have taken to be sadness or regret…
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meep!!
-stares- great, now you can add blazing hypocrite to Dark's list of what he is...-sigh- poor Daisuke and Krad. Their friendship is still on rocky ground and now Dark decides he's going to interfere…
ho boy…
just don't forget to leave all you wonderful, excellent reviews that always manage to make me either crack up or give me ideas for new twits!! Remember, me and my ever-lovable dragon plushies will luvs you forever. –laughs-
(1) oh geez, I almost took it the wrong way myself...-tries to hold back nosebleed-
