The Heroes Parody Project
Season 6
Chapter 8
Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.
Previously...on Westworld.
Claire: Wow! A wild west themed amusement park! Where the staff consists of Androids and you can do whatever you want without consequence!
West: That's right! Welcome to West-World, a fantastical land of my own design.
Claire: Wait, West?...You're behind this?
West: Sure am! I've always enjoyed movies and television shows that truly capture the nature and experience of the Wild West. You'll see a lot of inspiration come from episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
Claire: So...What you're saying is that the writers have never seen Westworld and like most of our parodies, this will be a complete and total disaster?
West: Exactly! Now all aboard the helicopter.
Claire: Where are we going?! I'm already here.
West: This is just the launch area...I will be taking you to...
The Helicopter flies toward.
West: West World Island!
Claire: I feel like a Wild West Theme Park being on an island kinda diminishes the experience.
Claire looks at Peter and Elle on the other side of the Helicopter. They're in suits.
Claire: And who are you two supposed to be?
Peter flashes his badge.
Peter: Peter Mulder.
Elle: Eleanor Scully.
Peter: We're Agent X-Files...I'm here to find out what happened to my sister and find the truth about Aliens in the Wild West.
Elle: I guess I'm here for the same reason...but I'm mostly here to find LOVE!
Claire: Gross. Moving on.
Claire (to Hiro): And who are you supposed to be...?
Hiro: Dinosaurs destroyed my family, and I'm here to exact revenge. (He shows Claire a picture) This Dinosaur in particular ate my mother two years before I was born.
Claire: That...doesn't make any sense...
Hiro: None of that will matter when I exact my revenge.
Claire: So is anybody here BESIDES me actually looking forward to something Wild West related?!
Claire looks over at a father and daughter next to her.
Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want my own Wild West World! I WANT IT NOW!
Father: Anything you want, sweetheart.
Veruca: Daddy, I want to change Helicopters. This 40 year old cheerleader smells like she doesn't have any money!
Father: I have a helicopter on the way! Just get ready to jump.
Claire: I'm already over this.
Claire enters the Saloon. She is wearing a vintage poofy dress and a giant hat.
Claire: I sure do love the Wild West.
BANG!
Claire: DID SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME!?
Man: Sorry, I thought you worked here!
Claire: Well, I don't, stupid! UGH!
Claire walks up to the counter. Peter turns around wearing the same dress and hat as Claire.
Peter: Hello, Sugar, names Miss Kitty...I run this establishment.
Claire: Uhhhhh...
Peter: Actually, it's me, Peter.
Claire: Well, duh. Why are you wearing the same thing as me...and why do you look better in it?!
Peter: Have you seen any signs of Aliens?
Claire: No, there are no Aliens here.
Peter: You don't know the truth. Let's keep acting like things are normal. So, what can I get for ya, sugar?
Claire: A Long Island Iced Tea...Hold The 'Long Island'.
Peter: So...you just want a glass of Tea?
Claire: Oh...um...a regular Long Island Iced Tea then.
Peter: Gotcha...
The doors of the saloon bust open and Nathan enters.
Nathan (to Peter): …..You and I have some unfinished business.
Peter: We do.
Peter rips off his dress to reveal his Cowboy attire.
Customer: Hey, can I get a refill?
Peter: Sure!
Peter rips off his Cowboy attire and is wearing his dress. He fills up the man's drink.
Peter: Thanks, sugar!
Peter rips the dress off again to reveal another set of Cowboy Attire.
Claire: How many layers of clothing are you wearing!?
Peter: This sarsaparilla ain't big enough for the both of us.
Nathan: Got that right...pistols at dawn.
Rooster: COCK-A-DOODLE DAWN!
Peter: Looks like its pistols now.
Peter and Nathan draw their guns and start firing at each other. Claire reaches over the bar.
Claire: Taking a few more of these drinks for the road and...goodbye!
Claire and Elle are sitting on a park bench. Elle shows Claire a photo of an Alien.
Elle: His name is Fejenkabenjkiyuflewrinajiboin.
Claire: Did one of the writers collapse on their keyboard when they came up with that?
Elle: It's a very common name in Space, Non-Believer.
Claire: I thought Scully was the skeptical one. Why am I even questioning this?
Elle: We met at the Roller Rink...it was love at first sights. 'Sights' being plural because he has 20 sets of eyes.
Claire: Uh huh.
Elle: But...we knew it would never work between us. We come from two different worlds...literally!
Claire: Uh huh.
Elle: Our love would be chastised by everyone...especially my partner, Mulder. For he doesn't know the true secret.
Claire (nodding off to sleep): Mmm Hmm...
Elle: The truth is...My Alien lover is the one who abducted his sister! DUN! DUN DUUUUUN!
Claire: I'm...oddly interested in this now. Wait...Peter doesn't have a sister!
Elle: That he knows of...
Claire: And I just lost interest.
Hiro: I'm glad you're helping me on my quest for vengeance, Claire.
Claire: I've basically given up hope of this show ever getting back on the rails and doing anything related to the Wild West.
A T-Rex enters the room. It is wearing Cowboy Attire.
T-Rex: Looks like we have unfinished business.
Hiro rips off his clothes to reveal Claire's dress.
Hiro: Oh, you got that right, Sugar!
Claire: Oh my god, someone PLEASE get me off this island!
West: So Claire, how was your trip to West-World.
Claire: Awful! How did you think I was going to react?!
West: Well, I don't want you to leave disappointed. So I'm going to show you those Androids!
Claire: Finally!
West: Now...the show came into a little bit of money recently thanks to a Gas Station Scratch Off Lottery Ticket.
Claire: Uh huh...
West: And we've lined up some amazing headliners...From Futurama...
Claire: Oh no...
West: We couldn't afford Bender...but we did manage to get...The Femputer from the Amazonian Episode.
Femputer: Does Not Fempute! DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!
Claire has her head in her hands.
West: Straight from the 80's...it's...ALF!
ALF: Hey, how's everybody doin' tonight? Does anybody have any cats? I'm starving!
(Studio Audience Laughs)
Claire: ALF wasn't a Robot, he was...like...a hand puppet thing...and an Alien! Get "Mulder and Scully" in here, they'd be all over it.
West: What part of ALF makes you possibly think he's an Alien Life Form?
Claire: Uh...What do you think ALF stands for?!
West: And finally...the Future is here. From the Jetsons...we couldn't get Rosie the Robot...but instead we have Mr. Spacely. George Jetson's boss.
Claire: Who's not a robot either...
Spacely: JETSON! YOU'RE FIRED!
Claire: I think I've seen enough.
Claire is on a helicopter, leaving West World Island.
Claire (monologue): I never found the Androids I was looking for that day...and that was how I always wanted it.
Claire removes her face, revealing a circuit board.
Claire: Because I was an Android the entire time!
THE END
Claire: WHAT!?...Did they digitally make me do that!? I didn't film that scene!
Peter: Probably because you wouldn't have agreed to it.
Claire: Of course I wouldn't! It's stupid!
Peter: There you go...now if you'll excuse me...I have to get back to the bar.
Peter rips off his clothes to reveal he had no more layers left...
Peter: OOPS! Thought I had more layers!
Claire: Well, I'm officially scarred for life.
Peter: Oh, relax. I'm not actually naked. This is just my prankster suit. Let's just...
RIIIIIIP!
Peter is in the hospital. Claire is at his side.
Peter: Claire...I'm not going to make it.
Claire: YOU'RE not going to make it!? I just saw my nude uncle rip his own skin off!...There's not enough Therapy in the universe to cover that! How did you even do that anyway!?
Peter: Claire...I need to your write down my Will.
Claire: Ugh...
Claire grabs a piece of paper.
Peter: To you...Claire...I leave to you...my childlike sense of wonder and imagination.
Claire crumples up the paper and tosses it aside.
Peter: And my darkest secret...
Peter removes his face to reveal a circuit board.
Peter: I was an Android the entire time!
Claire: Aaaand I'm out...I'll see you on the set.
Peter: WAIT! Can you put my face back on?!...Claire?...CLAIRE!?
Niki: Previously on Heroes...
Zach: Let's storm the building and save Micah and Elle and stop Erica!
CLONES!
Zach: Let's flee the building because we can't save Micah and Elle and stop Erica!
Erica: The building's been compromised. Let's move to the mobile base. Load up Micah and the girl...
The Girl being Phoebe Frady.
Quentin (to Elle): My sister, Phoebe, she's being held captive by Erica.
Erica: Behold! Molly Walker.
Noah: That looks nothing like Molly Walker...
Matt (to Niki): Well, looks like we're off to see what happened to Mohinder and the others.
Niki: Super.
Luke Collins, who bailed several episodes ago...
Luke: The Nanny bailed but I have a new one lined up. I'm hoping this one sticks.
Niki: Caspar, please take the Twins somewhere safe.
Caspar: To Odessa, Texas!
Niki: Not what I was thinking, but I stopped caring. So go nuts!
Edgar has an unconscious Sylar and Joanne with him.
Zach: Stay in hiding...we've ran out of time. Erica cannot get Sylar.
Ando and Hiro start work on Evernow development with Miko assisting them.
Noah: Let's take this Molly into custody. Let's see who she really is.
Matt gets kidnapped.
Emily slams on the brakes of the car. The real Molly is standing before them with an unconscious Matt.
Molly: Can they be trusted?
Mohinder: ...Sure?
Molly: Then please drive.
The car leaves the city.
In a car leaving the city, Molly Walker is in the backseat with Mohinder and Quentin, an unconscious Matt is in the passenger front seat. Emily is driving.
Mohinder: Molly?! Is that really you? Where have you been?
Molly: I'm not talking to anybody, just please get me out of the city until all of this dies down.
Mohinder: What are you talking about?
Molly: I can't trust you, I can't trust anybody.
Quentin: So...why the unconscious dude?
Molly: Matt's the only one I can trust. I know he's not one of them.
Emily: One of who?
Molly: A shape shifter...
Mohinder: What, that's a thing that's happening? I just thought Elle was nuts.
Molly: I can't say too much. I just need to get out of here.
Mohinder: But you don't trust me? Matt and I raised you since birth, you know?
Molly: Well, you didn't. So, you're not convincing me you're really you.
Mohinder: Oh, that's easy. I'll just have to tell you of the greatest day in the history of the world...my birth.
We cut to the sprawling plains. Animals are making their way to Pride Rock. Giraffe's, Zebra, Elephants, they all bow down as Rafiki walks to the edge, holding up baby Mohinder in the sky.
Rafiki: I present to you...The King!
The circle of liiiiiiifeee!
Molly: UGH! Stop. I believe you. But you two...(she motions to Quentin and Emily)...you could be one of them.
Emily: I'm not a shape shifter.
Molly: Okay, I totally believe you. And you (to Quentin)...convince me.
Quentin: Gladly! My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way...wait a minute...hold on...(flips through script)...wait...wait...wait...(checks Driver's License)...yep, that's my name!
Molly: Mmhmm...yeah, I don't trust you.
Meanwhile, Niki walks into the interrogation room of Noah's Secret Hideout underneath Elle's Ice Cream Parlor/Detective Agency.
Niki: Well, Matt's a loser who completely ditched me, so I guess I'll see what you turkeys are up to.
Noah: Well, us..."Turkeys" as you so eloquently put it...are trying to get information from this fake Molly, so we can find out where the real Molly is and possibly Erica's next move.
Niki: Well, the writer's have obviously ran out of things for me to do. So I got this.
Elle: I think you mean..."We got this".
Niki: What on Earth would make you think I'd want to work with you?!
Elle: We would make a great team, "Bad Cop/Worse Cop"...and would just be you!
Niki swallows her bottom lip, stifling her rage.
Elle: Also, I'm bubbly and super cute! My chemistry alone makes me compatible with any cast member!
Niki: How do you figure?
Elle: Well, Mr. B and I have been on countless adventures, including letting me fall to my death from a ski lift when we were trying to fix his glasses.
Noah: Dream sequence. I've actually had that dream many times...
Elle: Matt and I got totally drunk on a plane from non-alcoholic beverages.
Niki: Uh huh...
Elle: Nathan and I stayed at a Ice Hotel in the afterlife, and Peter and I had to endure the embarrassment of having our clothes stolen by business savvy rats, forcing us to run back to our rooms in the buff wearing nothing but the cottage cheese we were bathing in earlier.
Niki: Didn't that happen in that stupid Chess TV Show we did?
Noah: I need to go dunk my head in acid to get that image out of my brain.
Elle: That point is...we're natural partners!
Niki: The sooner we can get to the season finale, the better. Let's go.
Niki and Elle enter the interrogation room where "Molly" is being held. The wall behind them reads:
Chapter Eight "A Tale Of Two Mollys"
Molly: ….
Niki: Soo...
Elle: You want a Lawyer, HUH!? I'LL SHOW YOU LAWYER!
Elle grabs a chair and flings it through the mirror, revealing Rene on the other side.
Molly: …..
Elle: Uh...(To "Molly"). That's not a monitoring room! That's still a mirror. (she turns to Rene) SKIPPY! WIG!
Rene rolls his eyes and throws on a red haired wig, trying to mirror his body position to match Molly's. Molly looks back at Elle.
Niki: I wonder if there's enough room in that acid for two heads.
Meanwhile, Sylar was...
Sylar: Bored out of his mind. (To Edgar) How long do you plan to keep us down here?
Sylar and Joanne Collins are tied up, Edgar is watching TV.
Edgar: Until I get the all clear from my contact. I don't want to keep you here, but it's for your own safety. Well...(looks at Sylar)...mostly yours...(at Joanne)...her, I just don't trust.
Joanne: Super. Well you're going to have to release me at some point, I have to get back home.
Edgar: Hmmm...I guess I could release you somewhere and keep Sylar somewhere you would never find us...
Sylar: So...how do I benefit from this?
Edgar: You not being captured is the benefit.
Joanne's phone starts ringing, it is on the table behind Edgar. He walks over and looks at it.
Edgar: It's Luke.
Joanne: You better let me answer it.
Edgar: Hmm...can't have that. I'm going to have to put those acting classes to good use.
Edgar answers the phone.
Edgar (on the phone): Hello, schnookems. How is my wonderful husband that I am currently a wife to?
Joanne: You have GOT to be kidding me!
Sylar: He's literally "phoning it in"...HA!...oh, come on, that was funny! Laugh at that!
Joanne (deadpan): Tee hee hee.
Sylar: You both are terrible actors.
Luke (on the phone): Hey honey, I wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Edgar: It sure is...I just wish I was at home being married to you and stuff.
Luke: Well, just make sure you're careful. Love you...
Edgar puts the phone down.
Edgar: Are you one of those "Love you too..." people, or do you have a custom reply?
Joanne: "I am also in a state of content in our binding of matrimony".
Sylar: Are you serious?!
Edgar: ….Hmm...
He hops back on the phone.
Edgar: Love you too, darling. Bye!
He hangs up.
Luke: What the...she didn't say she was also in a state of content in our binding of matrimony! That was NOT my wife...something must have happened to her!
Edgar: How did I do?
Joanne: Awful.
Sylar: I would probably delete this show from my DVR.
Edgar: Everyone's a critic.
Luke thanks the new Nanny on coming by, he gets into his car.
Luke: I have to save my wife...and the only way I know how.
Luke sees a person in the middle of the road. He hits the gas and slams his car into him.
Luke: OH NO! HE'S DEAD!
Nathan walks up.
Nathan: What...what am I looking at here?
Luke: A body...that I hit with my car.
Nathan: These clothes are filled with...Jello cups...that's...dark...but creative I guess...and wasteful! (points)
Luke: Sorry, I just needed your help.
Nathan: So you faked a death to get me here...and wasted Jello!? Not cool.
Luke: Please, you have to help me save my wife.
Nathan: Ugh...pretty sad the one death I was able to be on time for wasn't real. Fine, let's go...we're stopping to get some Jello first though.
= = = = = = = = = =
(HEROES)
= = = = = = = = = =
Sandra opens the door to find Claire and Peter.
Sandra: Peter! What a wonderful surprise! As handsome as ever!
Peter: Well...yeah...*blushes*
Claire: COUGH...
Sandra: Claire, are you coming down with a cold? Please make sure you don't get my precious-wecious Muggles the sniffles.
Claire: Story of my life...Can we just come in already?
Sandra: Of course! This is just as much your home as it is mine, for the both of you!
Claire: Well...me at least.
Sandra: Peter, you'll be happy to know we left your bedroom just the way you left it.
Claire: Uhh...Excuse Me? When did you ever live here?
Peter: Had a rough patch in College, your family was nice enough to let me stay.
Claire: None of that timeline adds up...AT ALL!...Was this somehow my doing with all the time jumping West and I were doing?!
Sandra: Peter...you'll see all your trophies and accolades from High School.
Peter: Wow...this brings me back.
Sandra: And Claire, I've kept the box containing your collection of Taco Bell Hot Sauce packets you've accumulated over the years.
Claire: Yeah...I'm just going to pick up my kids now. Come on, Peter.
Claire walks into the living room to see Tommy, Malina, and...
Claire: aaand...
Caspar: Hi, Claire! It's so good to meet you, I'm Caspar Abraham, and I have the power of pennies.
Peter: That's amazing!
Claire: Why do I have memories of you trying to sell me pennies while I was in childbirth?
Caspar: Because it happened! And I always have plenty to sell.
Claire: No thanks.
Peter: I"ll take two boxes of "Tagalongs, four boxes of "Thin Mints", and all the boxes you have of the "Samoa's"...they're my favorite.
Caspar: Um...I'm not selling Girl Scout Cookies.
Peter: …? I don't get it.
Caspar: I sell pennies.
Peter: ….But...you're here...and you...don't have any cookies?
Caspar: No.
Peter: But if I give you money...how do I get my cookies? Oh! I get it...I have to order them first. Where's that order form.
Caspar: No...if you give me money...I give you pennies...That's it.
Peter: Then...I give you the pennies back and THEN I get my cookies?
Caspar: NO! You give me money. I give you pennies. No cookies!
Peter: What kind of Girl Scout doesn't sell cookies?!
Caspar: I'm not a Girl Scout!
Peter: Well, not with THAT attitude. Come On, Claire! Girl Scouts Pledge!
Claire (sucking the sauce from a Taco Bell sauce packet): Nah, you got this. I'm busy.
Peter: Ready! Okay!...
Claire: …..
Caspar: ….
Sandra: …..
Muggles: …..
Tommy: …..Hi mom, by the way.
Claire (sauce packet in her mouth): Hrr...Trrmrr...
Malina: …..
Peter: …..GIRL SCOUTS!
Claire: Okay, we're leaving. Come along children.
Caspar: I can't have you do that Claire, you would be putting your children in danger.
Claire: Uh...they're my kids. So...nyeh (sticks out her tongue)
Caspar: I have orders. I have to keep these kids safe from the forces of Evil.
Claire: Uh...excuse me? Who gave you these orders?
Caspar: The angry one.
Claire: Oh right, Niki was the one who told me you were here. Well, shift change! Now you do what I say...so...thank you for your service or whatever, but you...can...leave?
Caspar: Not until I know that the evil has gone away. Sorry, Claire...it's for their safety. They're staying here.
Claire: This is quite the pickle.
Peter: Agreed.
Peter takes a bite of the pickle he's eating.
Claire: Where did you get that?
Peter looks at the pickle, then back at Claire.
Peter: …..I don't know.
Meanwhile, at a Diner on the outskirts of town. Matt wakes up from being knocked out.
Matt: Where am I...am I dead..?
He looks around.
Matt: Am I in Diner Heaven?
Mohinder: No, you were out cold because of...
Matt: Grandma! Is that you?
Matt puts his hands on Mohinder's face.
Matt: As pretty as ever, without an ounce of makeup. I missed you, you old hound dog!
Mohinder: Did you just call me a HOUND DOG after commenting on my beauty?
Emily: I...was going to ask why he calls his grandmother a...you know what...nevermind.
Molly: Yeah, I don't think I missed this.
Matt: Molly! You're alive! Look how much you've grown, I missed you too, you old hound dog!
Molly: Yep, didn't miss this one bit.
Matt: What's going on here?
Mohinder: Molly here, dragged your unconscious body to the car Emily, Quentin and I were in and made us drive outside the city. And now we're in this Diner. You didn't miss much.
Molly: You, Mohinder, and the girl I just met are the only ones I trust. The jury is still out on you, buster.
Quentin: Don't worry, Emily, I'm sure you will gain her trust someday.
Emily: Uhhhh...
Molly: I'm going to start with why I went into hiding in the first place...
Molly is walking in her college.
Molly (narrating): I was interviewing for a part time job at my college, student loans were getting pretty steep.
Molly opens an envelope containing her student loan bill.
Molly (reading): Wow...that is...a LOT of commas...
Molly starts slowly rotating the page as she continues reading the numbers as they're printed along the edge of the page.
Molly: Well, I should have this paid off when I'm 100...
Molly picks up an envelope marked: "The Student Loan Bill - Part Deux...get it? It's a continuation of your Bill and sounds like "Due" because you owe us money. It's a thinking piece."
Molly: I hate it when Bill Collectors try to be funny!
Molly: So I was applying for a job at the Loans office because they wouldn't want someone who has a large amount of loans working there. It would be bad for business. So they would have to void my loans. Because that's totally how the real world works.
Molly: Hello Mr...oh...oh no...
Molly (narrating): My interviewer was dead, on the floor...I would have performed CPR but...he was kinda missing something important...that thing being his head.
Emily: Oh my...
Matt: Easy peasy. Just blow air directly into his neck hole. Everybody knows that.
Quentin: I think I just lost my lunch...seriously...it was right here and now it's gone. I bet that old lady has it.
Quentin: Excuse me, do you have my lunch? It was a Reuben Sandwich.
The old woman makes a rude hand gesture to Quentin and bolts out the door. He runs out the building.
Quentin: I hope you choke on it, you wind bag!
Quentin sits back down and gets a notification on his phone.
Quentin: OOH! I got an message from my Fitness App.
"What a great start to the day. You've wished harm upon 1 out of 5 old ladies today. Keep it up and reach that goal."
Quentin: Man, I'm going to be so ripped!
The police bust into the interview room.
Police: Stop! You're under arrest.
Molly: But I JUST got here. I didn't do this!
Police: We saw you on the tape.
Molly looks up and sees a security camera.
Molly: But...I JUST GOT HERE! How...
Police: You're coming with us.
Molly is being carried to a prison cell.
Molly (narrating): I was framed for a murder I didn't commit.
Molly: I told you! You've got the wrong person! I would never kill anybody.
Guard: You were the one on the surveillance camera. You can't deny it.
Molly (narrating): He was right, I saw the footage, and it was me...but I didn't do it!
Emily: How awful...whoever was impersonating you chopped off that poor person's head.
Molly: Oh, it wasn't dark like that. The Interviewer was standing on step ladder, changing a light bulb, and someone who looked like me ran into the room and shoved him off. It was just a coincidence he fell and hit his head against his desk.
Emily: And...he lost his head?
Molly: I asked the same thing. The Interviewer has a rare medical condition called "Bird Neck".
Emily: BIRD NECK!?
Molly: It's where the bones in his neck are so fragile, even the slightest trauma...POP!...You're head's gone.
Emily: I find that MORE unsettling.
Matt: Wait...Birds don't have necks! Or do they...Mohinder?
Mohinder: You're asking me if Birds have necks?
Matt: Yes.
Mohinder: They in fact do have necks.
Matt: Thank you Dr. Suresh. This is Matt Parkman from Channel 12 News. We now go back to Stacy and Chad in the studio. Stacy?
Anchorwoman Stacy looks at her partner, Chad.
Stacy: Who the heck was that and how did he just get a reporting piece on our station?!
Chad: I know!...Birds don't really have necks, do they?
Back in Texas,
Sandra: I feel like there is a lot of tension in the air, with this whole "Your kids, my kids" business.
Claire: But...they're my kids.
Sandra: How about we all get together and play a nice board game to help us relax?
Peter: I love board games.
Caspar: As do I.
Claire: I hate them with the fiery red hot passion of a thousand suns.
Sandra: GREAT! Now everyone gather round.
Sandra puts the game box on the table.
Sandra: It's the game of LIFE: Muggles edition...because he's a little cutie-patootie...
Claire: I think I'm going to throw uppie-wuppie.
Sandra: Okay, now everyone gets a game piece.
Peter: These..all look the same.
Sandra: Yes, they're all Muggles pieces.
Claire: They're...just the dogs from Monopoly...did you buy six Monopoly boards just to get six dog pieces?
Sandra: Now...Peter, since you're the youngest...
Claire: COUGH!
Sandra: ...Youngest at heart.
Claire: Well...she's got me there.
Sandra: You get to go first!
Peter spins the wheel and moves his piece.
Peter draws a card.
Peter: Hey, I graduated college. Collect $50,000 dollars.
Claire: Yeah, that's not realistic at all. My turn.
Claire moves her piece and grabs a card.
Claire: "Fortune Favors"...? What's that?
Sandra: It means I draw a life event from this hat and you have to perform it.
Claire: Uh...
Sandra: "Spring Cleaning Time! Find the nearest dog and express its bags."
Claire: EWWWWW! I'M NOT DOING THAT!
Sandra: You have to Claire, it's part of the rules.
Claire: Wait a minute. Was all of this just some stupid ruse so you wouldn't have to take Muggles to the vet?!
Sandra: We're a little short on cash, I went a little overboard on gifts for my Muggie Poo lately...and buying six copies of Monopoly.
Claire: You...bought the Monopoly before all this?
Sandra: I...really love Monopoly...or was it Chinese Checkers?
Claire: Two completely different games...
Continued Flashback!
The guard throws Molly into the prison cell.
Molly: I'm innocent!
Guard: Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say.
Random Prisoner: I actually committed my crime! And I would do it again in a heartbeat!
Guard: You know what? I appreciate your honestly. I'm going to let you out.
Molly: Is he serious?
The prisoner gets let out.
Prisoner: Yay!
Guard (turning to Molly): But YOU, Missy, are going to be in here for a long time.
Molly: UGH! What in the world is going on here?
Voice: I'll tell you what...
Molly looks over to her cell mate, the other "Molly" from Erica Kravid's office.
Woman: Everything you think you know is a lie.
Molly: Oh my god...so Birds don't actually have necks?!
Woman: I'm a Private Investigator. The name is Fine...Fran Fine.
Molly: Like...from The Nanny?
Fran: No! It's nothing like The Nanny!
Molly: But...that's the name of the woman from The Nanny!
Fran: Well, that isn't me.
Molly: Well, duh, I've watched many episodes of The Nanny, you're clearly not her.
Fran: I'm a Private Investigator...doing a report on...The Seven.
Molly: What's The Seven?
Fran: Seven siblings...rumor has it they all have the ability to change shape. There are clearly people in this world who have special abilities. So it shouldn't come as a huge surprise. But The Seven...they have been changing their appearance since birth. And the story goes is that they only know who each other is by a bond they share...nobody knows what the other one really looks like...they don't even know if they're actually brothers or sisters outside of their changed form. But they go around...committing crimes...and framing people for murder.
Molly: I fail to see what this has to do with my exact situation. I'm in here for a crime I didn't commit.
Fran: Did you not say..."It wasn't you"...and that guard mentioned you were on the tape?
Molly: That kinda sounds like something I'd say.
Fran: One of the siblings framed you for murder.
Molly: But how do I stop them?
Fran: All I know is that they have to be stopped.
Molly: Uh, thanks, that helps (eyeroll)..…Wait...How do I know you're not one of them?
Fran: You don't...I don't know if you're one either.
They both draw guns on each other.
Molly: I guess we'll have to trust each other to find out.
Fran: I guess so.
Molly: Why do we have guns...this must not be a very good prison.
Fran: Oh, it's awful...I think I'm going to give it a "One Star" On Yelp. But this prison jumpsuit is awfully comfy...okay Two Stars.
Molly: So how do we get out of here?
Fran: We have to find a way to stop The Seven for starters.
Molly: I...might know someone...who could help locate them... But we do have to get out first.
Guard: ….Molly Walker...someone is here to pick you up.
Fran: I'm Molly Walker.
Molly: Huh?
Fran (to Molly): Do you really think you can stop The Seven?
Molly: Uh...sure. Why not?
Fran: I know we just met, but I'm totally handing off this case to you.
Molly: Handing off what to the who now?
Fran: I don't have any leads. If you think you can stop them you must...stop The Seven...and make sure I get all the credit so I can bag a sweet promotion at work.
Molly: I'm so glad you have my best interest at heart.
Fran: Okay, I'm Molly Walker...take me away.
She turns back to Molly.
Fran: Trust no one...Seven of them are out there...and they can be anybody...
The guard escorts "Molly" out to another truck. In the cell, Molly looks into a mirror to see an old man starting back at her.
Molly: AHHHHH! I'M ONE OF THEM!
Molly looks closer and realizes the mirror is just a hole leading to the adjacent cell.
Old Man (primping): Prison is doing wonders for me. I look fabulous!
Molly: This prison sucks.
The Driver finishes locking up the car with "Molly" in it and drives away.
Present Day.
Elle and Niki are interrogating "Molly".
Niki: We're not getting anywhere with this broad. She won't tell us anything about Kravid or where she's headed.
Elle (to "Molly"): Good, don't tell us anything. We don't want to know anyway!
"Molly": Good.
Elle: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Niki: Good hustle, now go hit the showers...(eyeroll)
Elle: GASP! Are you saying I stink?!
Niki: It's just a phr...oh, shut up...
Niki sits down as Elle smells herself.
Niki: Listen...you lost...it's only a matter of time before we get your boss. The best thing you can do is give up her location so we can get on with our lives quicker...you may even face less jail time for cooperating with us. Not being an actual figure of authority, I completely have the right to say that.
"Molly": I...don't remember why I started working for Erica...it's a little hazy...
Elle: Scrambled Egg Brains, eh? Well, we have just the ticket.
Niki: We do?
Elle: Best way to descramble those eggs is to get the finest unscrambler in the business. Skippy!
Rene walks in.
Niki: Uh...that's all he does is scramble brains...how is he going to be any help?! And stop talking about eggs, I'm starving!
Elle: Okay, Sparky, I need you to wipe this one's brain clean...but not too much. I need her to remember why she started working for Erica Kravid.
Rene: I'll do my best.
Rene walks over and holds his hand up to "Molly" head...
Rene: I can sense when her memory was originally erased...I can restore her to her previous memory before then.
Elle: Excellent!
Rene lowers his hand as "Molly" exits from a tranced state.
Niki: So...you wanna talk now?
"Molly": Yes...
Niki: Great, let's get the obvious out of the way. You're not really Molly Walker, are you?
Woman: No...my name is Fran...Fran Fine.
Niki: …..like...from The Nanny?
Fran: NO! It has no relation...
Niki: If you say so...so what gives? Why are you pretending to be Molly Walker?
Fran: I did it, when we were imprisoned.
Niki: So you two have met?
Fran: Yes...I offered to trade places with her. She was being taken away...I took her place.
Niki: Why?
Fran: I am trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious group called The Seven...
Niki: How original.
Fran: They're a group of brothers and sisters who are evil shape shifters...they can pose as anybody...
Elle: HOLD UP! Shape Shifters!? I am also trying to hunt these evil doers down...how do I find them?
Fran: That's what I'm trying to accomplish. Molly said she knew somebody who could help...so I left it in her hands so she wouldn't be kidnapped. I remember being taken to Erica Kravid...and she had me brainwashed.
Niki: So the real Molly is still out there.
Elle: I am also familiar with the shifters' work, they have killed many. And very likely they have been posing as my father to lure me into Erica's clutches. In fact I shot one earlier posing as my dad! For Justice!
Fran: You shot one that looked like your dad, that would have been difficult for me.
Elle: Nah, we're always playing around like that. You should attend a Bishop Thanksgiving! The Turkey is the only thing that makes it out in one piece!
Niki: Don't ever invite me to your house for the Holidays. So where is Molly now?
Fran: No clue...I haven't seen her since the prison...
Flashback.
Another guard meanwhile escorts someone who looks like Fran into Molly's cell.
Molly: Um...you're back?
Woman: What are you talking about. I'm a private Investigator. The names Fine...Fran Fine.
Molly: Ugh...I'm already hating this sub plot.
Fran: I need to tell you about The Seven...
Molly: I already know...
Fran: WHAT!? How? Who told you?
Molly: Um...you...?
Fran: That must have been one of them!
Molly: Great.
Fran: We have to get out of here! Now! GUARDS!
A guard walks up.
Fran: This woman and I would like to admit guilt for our crimes.
Guard: Uh...duh. That's why you're in here.
Fran: Oh, you won't do.
Fran grabs a pipe and knocks it over the guard's head.
Guard: OOF!
Another guard runs up.
Guard: What happened here!?
Fran: I bonked him on the head. (pointing to Molly) And SHE helped!
Guard: Today is such a great day for honesty! This world is becoming a better place a little bit each day. You two are free to go!
Fran leaves the cell. Molly, still trying to process what's happening, eventually follows her out.
Molly and Fran are walking down the street.
Fran: Okay, just come with me. Everything will be all right.
The stop to see Noah Bennet in front of them.
Noah: Molly!
Molly: Mr. Bennet? What's going on here?
Noah: I need you to step away from that person. They're a dangerous shape shifter!
Fran: Adam! No!
Molly: Who the crap is Adam!?
Noah: I'm sorry Sam. I can't let you do this. She comes with me.
Molly: Who the crap is Sam?! I'm so lost.
Fran (Sam): Adam, you know how I felt about working for Kravid. I think all of us are making a huge mistake!
Noah (Adam): She is the only one who can help us! She can remove our powers and we can finally be our real selves!
Fran (Sam): I don't trust her, Adam. I won't go along with it! It's not worth it to cause so much chaos in the world!
Noah (Adam): Then...I'm sorry.
Noah (Adam) shoots Fran (Sam). She falls to the ground.
Molly: AHHH! Girl I just met for the first time twice! Are you okay?
Fran (Sam): You...need to run...
Molly: But...what about all your icky blood stuff?
Fran (Sam): I'll be fine...just...trust no one...just run.
Molly pulls out a flash grenade.
Molly: I got this at a discounted price thanks to Amazon Prime!
Molly throws the grenade.
BANG!
A white light blinds everyone. Molly eventually stumbles out, her hands in front of her.
Molly: I should have ponied up the extra cash for the sunglasses, god I'm so cheap...
Noah (Adam): That was a mistake.
Fran (Sam): I don't care, I know we're family...but this is wrong. I will stop all of you if I have to.
Noah shifts into Bob Bishop.
Bob (Adam): I'm going after this guy's daughter now. I'll deal with Walker later.
Bob (Adam) walks over to finish Fran (Sam) off, Fran (Sam) manages to fling out a small blade she had tucked in her dress, it sticking in Bob (Adam's) neck.
Fran (Sam): I'm...so sorry Adam...
Fran (Sam) gets to her feet and stumbles away. Flash forward to the police eventually show up, as Nathan sneaks by and reaps the person's soul.
Molly rounds the corner and bumps into Niki.
Niki: Oh my god...Molly! What happened?
Molly: Something weird's going on...I'm being stalked by...
Niki looks legitimately concerned. Molly becomes suspicious.
Molly: ….Niki?
Niki: Yeah?
Molly: What are your thoughts on...Mohinder?
Niki: Dr. Suresh?
Molly squints her eyes.
Molly: ….yeah.
Niki: ...He seems like a pretty smart guy.
Molly: AHHH! Get away from me!
Molly takes off running.
"Niki" gets on the phone.
"Niki": Yeah, sorry...almost had her.
Back to the present. Niki and Elle start to leave the HQ.
Niki: Looks like we're going to have to hunt down Molly so we can make sure she's safe.
Noah: I'm going with you.
Niki: Why? We can take care of ourselves.
Elle: Yeah, Mr. B. We're going to show you how capable we are.
Elle looks down to see a bullet hole.
Elle: WHEN DID I GET SHOT?!
Noah: Yeah, I'm coming with you. Mostly because I spent the last twenty minutes having everyone else drone about video games and it almost put me to sleep.
Elle: Welcome aboard...but just remember...I'M in charge of this operation. Your first order...find out who shot me. Seriously, that's going to bug the crap out of me.
Luke is driving while Nathan is in the passenger seat.
Nathan (staring at his cup): Hmm...I think I forgot I don't care for Jello.
Luke: I don't know where to even begin searching for Joanne.
Nathan: If she's anything like you, she can fake a death and...
Luke: Great idea!
Luke gets on the phone.
Nathan: HEY! I'm not actually condoning that!
Joanne's phone is ringing, she is still tied up.
Joanne: Well, that is just great.
Edgar walks over and picks up the phone.
Edgar (on the phone): Joanne speaking.
Joanne: He's not even trying anymore.
Luke: Hi...this is Dr...
Luke puts the phone down.
Luke (to Nathan): Make up a name.
Nathan: Why?
Luke: Just do it.
Nathan: …...Luke...Collins.
Luke: That's...my name. What's your name again?
Nathan: I'm not going to let you use my name and ruin MY reputation. Just make up a name yourself.
Luke: I can't! I'm driving!
Nathan: That...doesn't make any sense.
Luke: Hurry!
Nathan looks outside for some inspiration. He sees a poster of someone wearing glasses.
LOOK TOWARD A BRIGHTER TOMORROW! WITH GLASSES MART!
Nathan: Hmm...
Nathan sees the sign next to it.
PHONECOM WIRELESS! WHO'S CALLIN? GREAT SERVICE, THAT'S WHO!
Nathan: …."Look"..."Callin"...Luke Collins!
Luke: NO! That's still my name!
Nathan: Why are you making this so difficult?
Luke (on the phone): Ugh...Um...This is the Doctor's Office...I'm calling for Joanne Collins...her test results are in.
Edgar (to himself): Hmm...that's really none of my business.
Edgar (on the phone): Okay, here she is.
Edgar walks over to Joanne to hand her the phone. Joanne kicks her legs up around Edgar's neck and kicks him in the back of the head, knocking him out. She scrambles for the phone.
Joanne: Luke! I have a bone to pick with you!
Luke: It's so wonderful to hear your voice, honey! We need to save you.
Joanne: There's no time for that. Why didn't you tell me you had special powers?!
Sylar: Yeah, no rush on that...butt isn't falling asleep from all this sitting around or anything.
Luke: Oh...you figured it out...I'm sorry I didn't tell you...but...you just hate people with abilities so much...and I didn't want you to think me passing them down to our son would make you think I was responsible for putting him at risk.
Joanne: Oh...Luke...that's exactly what I thought!
Luke: Uhhh...
Joanne: To be honest...I was upset...I hated people with abilities...but now...
Luke: Yes...
Joanne: …..I still kinda do...but I don't hate you. And I could never hate our son.
Luke: That's...good.
Joanne: And that was the whole reason I'm in this mess. I'm trying to find a way to have our son's powers removed...but maybe...it's something I can live with too. Both of you having these...abilities. It will take some time for me to adjust...I'm aiming for when I'm in my early 80's.
Luke: I'm so relieved to hear you say that.
Joanne: But we'll start slow...and make it work. Well...now that we're free...
Sylar: Yay! Even though I'm technically not free yet!
Joanne: ….And this one's down for the count...(looks at Edgar)
Luke: What are you suggesting?
Joanne (to Sylar): I can hold THIS one for ransom!
Sylar: HEY!
Luke: Honey, remember the seminar we went to?
Joanne: Ugh...yes..."Ransoms are bad, Letting people free is rad"...Don't remind me.
Sylar: That's an actual seminar?!
Joanne: I think I'm just ready to go home...but I have no idea where I'm at. My GPS sucks out here.
Luke: I think I know a way...it might involve a death.
Joanne: I'm listening...
Nathan and Luke show up at the building where Joanne and Sylar are being held.
Nathan: Um...why is Sylar with you?
Joanne: Long story involving a Pirate Wedding...
Nathan: I'm not going to press on that.
Sylar: That's probably for the best.
Luke: How were we able to find you?
Nathan walks over and picks up a little Lego Person...its head is missing.
Nathan: Oh, that's dark. Even for Lego!...Man, no wonder I suck at this Grim Reaper job, I can't tell a real death from...a toy's.
Joanne: What's so dark about it? The poor man fell and his head popped off because he was born with "Bird Neck".
Nathan: ….I'm not going to press on that either.
Nathan unties Sylar.
Sylar: Thank you, and no thanks to YOU (to Joanne) for not attempting to untie me even though you've been free for two hours waiting on them to show up.
Joanne: Well, if you would have offered to help make the Lego Person's death look like an accident, maybe I would have untied you.
Sylar: I'd like to go now.
Edgar regains consciousness, he hops to his feet and has a knife next to Sylar's neck.
Edgar: Nobody's going anywhere. I made a promise to keep this one (motions the blade to Sylar) out of harm's way.
Joanne: Well...I'm over my mission...plan on leaving with my husband...(to Nathan) this one's...
Nathan: Gotta get back to work.
Joanne: So...there's no sense of danger here...at least for us. So...bye?
Sylar: HEY!
Edgar: Hmm...I guess so...
Sylar: That's it! I am getting sick of just being a stupid...prisoner...
Smoke starts emanating from behind Sylar.
Edgar: Uhhh...
Sylar emits an explosion, that sends Edgar flying. Luke, Joanne, and Nathan all fly backward.
Sylar: If this Erica Kravid wants me so badly...she can have me.
Edgar (coughing): W...wait!
Sylar: I don't need any of you nerds.
Sylar raises his hand up and blasts a hole through the ceiling.
Luke flicks his wrist.
Luke: Did he...just take my power?
Nathan: Oh yeah, he used to be known for that. Just be glad he didn't use his old methods. They were...not pleasant.
Luke: ….I'm suddenly interested.
Joanne: Me too.
Nathan: I don't want to go into all the gory details about all the brain eating...oh, already did. Spoiler Alert!
Sylar: I didn't eat brains! We've been over this! I just...examined them.
Joanne: I find that more disgusting.
Luke: Me too.
Sylar: More than eating!? Whatever, I'm outta here...I'm going to make the world fear me!
Nathan: What are you saying? Are you evil again?
Sylar: No...I'm neutral...I do what I think is best for me...I'm on...TEAM SYLAR.
Sylar rips his shirt off to reveal a shirt underneath that reads TEAM BELLA. SHE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' MAN!
Sylar: Yike. How long have I had THIS on?
Edgar: You're making a huge mistake!
Luke: Seriously, everybody knows it's "Team Jacob". Duh.
Joanne shoots him a look.
Luke: Er...I mean Team Edward.
Joanne: That's better.
Nathan: Sorry, I don't watch The Wizards Of Waverly Place or whatever it is you two are going on about talking about...
Joanne and Luke: HISS!
Nathan: Geez! Did I strike a nerve?...Did you both just hiss at me?!
Sylar lowers his hands and blasts off into the sky.
Luke: What?! I could have done THAT!? That's like Iron Man! Man...now I want my powers back.
Edgar: If it's anything like last time...you'll have them back eventually.
Luke: Oh, that's good.
Edgar: No it's not! You idiots let him escape. Erica Kravid is going to get him now.
Nathan: He has blasty powers now...are you sure he's in any danger...because I'm really over this plot.
Edgar: But if he loses them, she'll have him in her custody. She will destroy the world, millions will DIE!
Nathan: Well, crap...that just puts more work on my desk, so I GUESS I have to be interested now.
Molly: Seven siblings, two of them are dead. Five remain. They could be anyone...
Niki, Elle, and Noah are walking down the street.
Claire, Peter, Caspar, Sandra, and the Twins are all helping give Muggles a bath.
West shuffles some papers at the office, he looks over at Janice who brings him more papers to shuffle.
Erica and Harris Prime looks over their plans in the Mobile Evil Unit.
Erica: Wait...we seriously didn't name it that, did we!? I hate it!
Quentin's sister, Phoebe, sits quietly in the corner. She looks over to see Micah hooked up to a machine.
Hiro, Ando, and Miko are going over aspects of the Evernow Online Universe. Zach is watching them from not far away.
Rene shows Fran a room to hide out in while they plan to take down Erica. Fran lies down on the bed as Rene leaves the room.
Edgar, Joanne, Luke and Nathan are driving in a car back into the city.
Sylar is on top of a building. He looks down to see Erica's Mobile Base. He opens his palm to emit a small blast of heat.
Sylar: Whew...still got it...
Molly returns from the restroom and heads back to the table.
Molly: Okay, we can't stay here...we need to keep moving.
Molly looks up to see Niki, Elle, and Noah walk into the Diner.
Niki: How many freaking Diners and I going to have to be in this season? The producers need to spring for some more imaginative sets.
Molly: They found us at the only Diner / Horse Clinic in town!
Niki: Well, now I'm grossed out. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Molly pulls out a gun.
Niki: Uh...whoa...
Mohinder: Molly, you don't have to resort to that.
Mohinder and the others get up from the table.
Noah: Molly...it's us...you know us.
Molly: No...I don't. I can't trust anybody. You could be a shapeshifter. In fact you could be one of them!
Elle: GASP! Mr. B! How could you?!
Noah: Oh, please. I'm not one of them. You have to believe me.
Molly: We're leaving...and you're not following us.
Noah: Molly, this is for your own protection. We need to keep you away from Erica Kravid. She is planning on using you for your abilities.
Molly: No...
Noah: …..
Molly: …..I plan on using you for hers.
Noah, confused, looks over at Elle.
Noah: Say what now?
Molly pulls out a device and presses the button on it. A large explosion shatters the windows of the restaurant. Noah, Elle and Niki fall to the ground as they get overcome with smoke. Matt, Mohinder, Quentin and Emily take cover, as they soon become blinded by the smoke as well.
Emily: Ahhh!
Quentin: My sinuses!
Niki: What happened?!
Noah: Was...was that?! Where's Molly...and Elle!? Elle!
While everyone stumbles around, Molly drags out an unconscious Elle. She gets on the phone.
Molly: Pick me up. I have Bishop.
A car pulls up, "Matt" is at the steering wheel
Flashback to Molly walking down a hallway to the restroom in the Diner, Matt walks up behind her.
Matt: Hey Molly, can I borrow your phone real quick? Sorry.
Molly: Are you planning on playing Fortnite?
Matt: I am planning on playing Fortnite.
Molly: Fine.
She hands Matt the phone.
Matt: Yay...and I'm dead. Going back to Candy Crush.
Molly: Just don't run down my battery.
As soon as Molly turns around, Matt chloroforms her. He drags her body to a back door where another "Molly" awaits.
"Molly" (to "Matt): Meet me out front, this won't take long.
She makes her way to the table.
Present.
"Matt": Not bad...two birds with one stone.
"Molly" throws Elle in the back with the real Molly. She gets in the car and they drive off.
Meanwhile, in Texas.
Claire: Well, mom, it's been fun. But we need to get going to save the world. Come along now, children.
Caspar: Claire, might I remind you I made a promise to Niki. I can't let you leave.
Claire: That's cool and all...but we're going to do just that...so...come along now children.
Tommy: We've been standing behind you next to the door for like, thirty minutes. We're waiting on you.
Caspar pulls out a gun.
Claire: Uhhh...
Caspar: I said...nobody is going anywhere.
Sandra: Caspar, is that one of those guns that shoots things?
Claire: As opposed to...?
Caspar: Now everyone here is going to sit back down...and wait for help to arrive.
Claire and Peter look at each other.
Claire: What are you talking about?
Caspar smiles as Tommy and Malina pass out.
Claire: AHH! Tommy! Malina! What is this?!
Sandra passes out on the couch.
Peter: Uh...
Caspar: Sorry Claire, I have orders to keep them safe...from you.
Caspar changes shape to look like Noah.
"Noah": Oh maybe you'll listen to your father.
Claire: What...what's happening?
"Noah" changes shape back into Caspar.
Caspar: Sorry, Claire. But this is just business. I take it neither of you ate any of the cookies I drugged.
Claire: We had cookies?!
Peter: Aw man...
Caspar: Both of you just sit here until my backup arrives.
Peter: Does this mean the power of pennies isn't real?
Caspar: Of course not!
Peter: Aw...
Caspar: Now I'm not going to tell you again...sit down.
Claire: Jokes on you, pal. You might have some tricks up your sleeve, but so does HE (motions to Peter). Get him, Peter!
Peter: ALLRIGHT!
Peter whips out his guitar, sporting a hot pink wig and heavy eye makeup.
Jem! Jem is excitement.
Oooh Jem. Jem is adventure.
A car swing by and picks Peter up.
Oooh, Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame.
A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter. Peter swipes the guy's Sub Sandwich punch card from his pocket and pushes him away.
Jem! Jem is truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Peter's face on a magazine, he winks.
Whoa Jem! Jem, the music's contagious, outrageous.
Peter is performing on a giant star with his band.
A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter. Peter swipes the guy's autographed Baseball card from his pocket and pushes him away. He immediately puts it up for sale on eBay.
Jem is my name, no one else is the same. Jem is my name.
Hiro, Matt, and Elle pop up wearing similar wigs and face makeup.
Hiro, Matt, and Elle (singing): But we're The Misfits! Our songs are better! We are The Misfits! The Misfits! And we're gonna get her!
Jem! Jem, The music's contagious, outrageous.
A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter, Peter swipes the guy's tickets to Hamilton from hispocket and pushes him away.
Guy: I have got to stop keeping things in my pocket!
Jem is my name, no one else is the same. Jem is my name. JEM!
Claire: …...What...the actual hell was that?
Peter: Are you serious!? I said it like...forty times in the song!
Claire: Was that supposed to be a (finger quotes) POWER?! Where would you even get that?!
Peter: When we ran up to Taco Bell...what a waste, you didn't even order a single taco for me.
Peter looks over to see Claire slowly pulling out a drained hot sauce packet.
Claire: …...What?
To Be Continued
