Author's note: Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in uploading this, it took me awhile to make sure it had the tone and flow I was going for. I hope you enjoy it! The story is now getting a little dark. Also, I plublished another story called "From Nerf Herder to Technician". If you've enjoyed this story, please check it out. And a huge thank you to Aquamarine392 for helping me edit my stories!
Belovedfinch11: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and Alyss! :D
Chapter 8: Diminuendo
I was dreaming... I was sitting in a beautiful luscious garden that seemed so familiar yet I don't think I'd ever been there. I was in a stunning, long, and flowing golden dress like something a princess would wear. I looked down, resting my hand on my pregnant belly smiling to myself. Looking off to the far end of the garden, there was a little boy playing with a giant white wolf-like creature. I couldn't make out the boy's features, he was hazy, and yet I knew that he was my son. Another silhouette, a man, approached the boy, picked him up, and spun him around. The boy was laughing, causing my smile to grow even wider. I wasn't able to make out the features of the man either, but I instinctively knew he was the father of my children. The two figures started my way, their features becoming a little clearer, but before I could see who the father of my son was or what my son looked like my alarm went off shaking me from my dream. I shot up in my bed, my heart pounding. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling of wanting to know who the mystery figure was. It all felt so real, more than just a dream. With a sigh, I swung my feet off the bed and started to get ready to meet with Dzhess for today's lesson.
I reached the conference room and found Dzhessika with the holoprojector already setup, displaying an X-Wing's configuration. I quietly took my seat across from Dzhess, who quirked an eyebrow at me expectantly. When I remained quiet, she started our lesson on 'Enemy Ships and Aerial Warfare'. The hours ticked by until Dzhess warped up the lesson. "Ok Alyss, what's going on? You've been scary quiet today, with no usual perkiness or groans when I mention things you don't find interesting. Hell! You didn't even whine about being hungry or ask to take lunch every 5 minutes! So, what's going on?" Dzhess leaned across the table locking her eyes on mine. I let out a sigh knowing there was no point in trying to lie to her, "You see... I had this strange dream. it felt so real... like even though it hasn't actually happened, it's going to. You know? I know it's sounds weird, but that's the only way I can describe it. Plus, there's the whole guy drama going on, which I don't even know what to think about. Everything is so confusing." I rested my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands. "So... this dream, what was it about?"Dzhess asked, sounding mildly curious. I told her what happened and about not being able to know the identity of the man in my dreams. Dzhess leaned back in her chair contemplating. "Perhaps it was more than just a dream. Can't Force users have visions of the future or something?" "I suppose, but that's not something I've ever experienced. The only thing remotely close to that I've experienced is my telepathy. I've never had visions." Dzhess tilted her head to the side and shrugged her shoulders, "Hmm, it was just a thought. Maybe it was just a very intense dream and nothing more. Now tell me, what man drama are you talking about?" Had it been anyone else I would have never mentioned the problem, but after all the time I've spent with Dzhess I had grown more confident in our friendship. I didn't feel this way about anyone else on the ship, but I knew I could trust her and and I really needed someone to talk to, so I explained what was going on.
Before I knew it, the flood gates were open and I filled Dzhess in on everything that had happened with the General and the Commander. Dzhess's mouth hung open, "Holy shit... what the actual fuck?!" Hearing Dzhess swear out loud and not just in her thoughts made me chuckle, "Yeah, well, that's exactly how I feel." "So... do you like either of them? I mean romantically?" I sighed, "Yes? I think so? But that's the problem! I feel comfortable with the General for the most part but even though my body says yes, something in me makes me shy away. Then there's the Commander. He's the most infuriating man I've ever met! And yet I find him so... fascinating. I can't stay away. he's so vulnerable and broken even thought he tries so hard to hide it." Dzhess laughed, "Well shit, I don't think I've ever heard anyone describe those two in that way. Sadistic, callous, cruel, terrifying, brutal... I've heard those but never comfortable or fascinating." I sighed, laying my cheek on the table, "Yeah, I know. It doesn't make any sense! Ugh!" Dzhess lightly patted my head in reassurance, "I can't tell you what to do or how to feel. All I can say is listen to yourself. You'll make the right choice whatever it maybe. You just have to trust yourself. And... with that we are going to stop all this sappy crap because you need to get going to your meeting with the General. But, again don't worry, you'll figure all this out." Dzhess got up from her chair and headed to the door, I followed suit and stopped in front of her, "Thanks. I really appreciate it." I gave Dzhess a hug. She laughed and turned me to the door, "I told you no more sappy crap. Now get out." With a grin she waved me out the door and I made my way to the General's office.
Half way to my destination I saw Kylo Ren approaching. "Hello Ky... I mean Sir." I gave him a friendly smile. The Commander brushed past me as if I didn't even exist and continued on down the hallway out of sight. I stopped in my tracks, What the hell was that about? Why is it every time we take on step forward he takes five steps back? With a discontented sigh, I continued on to my destination. I knocked on the door waiting for the usual acknowledgment from the General. With the approval to enter, I placed my hand on the scanner causing the door to slide open. I was expecting to see the General seated behind his desk tapping away at his datapad, but instead he was readying himself to leave. "Ah, Alyssandra, perfect timing. We are to meet with the Supreme Leader." I was rather confused, "The Supreme Leader wishes to see me as well?" Hux smoothed out his uniform, "Yes. And we are not to keep him waiting. Now let's go." Hux exited the room heading in the direction of the room where the Supreme Leader was waiting. I was frozen where I stood. The thought of seeing that creature sent shiver of terror down my spine. I never wanted to see him again. "Alyssandra! We will not be late! Move!" Startled out of my thoughts, I slowly started following the General down the hall. My legs felt leaden, each step more difficult than the last. The trip to the Supreme Leader's receiving room seemed both to take an eternity and to end too quickly. General Hux opened the door and ushered me inside. I was surprised to see Kylo Ren already inside down on one knee. This room was different from the one I first met the Supreme Leader in, there were no red walls in this room, everything was dark and industrial. As we walked across the platform to where the Commander was, I was startled when a giant hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke appeared. I was slightly relieved that I didn't have to see the man in person, but was still uneasy with the knowledge he could still use his powers against me.
"Ah my dear Alyssandra, what a pleasure it is to see you again. I hear your training has been going well." The hologram Snoke leaned back in his throne. "Yes, Sir." I stood my ground, my gaze never wavering. "I see that fire is still there! Excellent!" Snoke let out a dark chuckle. "Shall we see if your lessons have paid off?" With a smirk, Snoke nodded to Hux. The General gave an order and two stormtroopers came in dragging a resistance pilot between them, stopping right in front of me. "Now then. You will interrogate this man and get him to give you everything he knows about the resistance." I looked at Snoke in shock, "What?" I whispered under my breath. I looked at Hux and Kylo for help, silently pleading with them. Hoping they'd step in and stop this madness. Kylo turned his head away, and Hux just stared at Snoke. "Now then girl, you were given your orders. Do as you are told!" Snoke raised a finger and used the Force to drag me towards the pilot. "I... I can't do this! This man has done nothing to me!" Hux made a disgusted look at the fact that I justified not harming someone from the resistance. There was no way I could hurt someone who had never done anything to me! Yes I had killed in the past, but they had all deserved it. "My patience is growing thin, girl!" Snoke was trying to get in to my head. The searing pain made it hard to think.
I reached out my hand in front the pilot's face and began to look in to his memories. I could feel his pain, suffering, and fear. In his memories I saw that he had a wife and a beautiful son, the sight brought back the images of the dream of my son. I quickly retracted and left the man's mind. "I can't do it! I just... I just can't!" Snoke let out a disapproving sigh, "You disappoint me." Snoke used his power to it's full potential, and unlike our first encounter where he had been holding back, I was powerless. He connected me with him and we entered the pilot's memories once again. The pilot was screaming from our intrusion. Once Snoke got the information he wanted, he pulled us from the pilot's mind but didn't release his hold on my body. "Now for your punishment, girl." Snoke used me as his puppet to Force choke the pilot. "Please! Stop! Don't make me do this!" Tears we're streaming down my face. I tried to break free from Snoke but it was of no use. I looked to Hux then Kylo, "Please! Please help me!" I begged. I could feel Snoke increasing the strength of the choke until the audible snap of the pilot's neck filled my ears. When I looked back I could see pilot's lifeless body hanging limply between the two stormtroopers.
Snoke finally released me, and I collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down my face. Snoke addressed Hux and Kylo, "I expect better results from her next time! Is that understood! Do not disappoint me!" With that, the hologram clicked off and the room was silent except for the sound of the pilot's boots scraping across the floor as the troopers dragged his lifeless body away. Hux walked over to me and looked down his nose at me, "You disappoint me Alyssandra." "Shut the fuck up!" I glared at Hux and in my rage used the Force to shove him away from me. Kylo tried to approach me and I threw him backwards as well. I stood up shaking with rage and despair. "I hate you two! You wouldn't even help me! You fucking spineless bastards! Stay the fuck away from me or I swear I will kill you!" I ran out of the room, everything was a blur around me. I just kept running. I wound up in the hanger, which was fairly empty. Wanting to just hide from everyone, I went over to the TIE Silencer and snuck inside. I knew no one would bother me in this ship. My body was racked with sobs, I couldn't hold my tears back. I lay curled up on the floor until I lost track of time.
Hours had passed and hardly anyone was in the hanger save for a few droids and a couple of technicians. The Silencer's door opened, causing the ramp to lower. The sight of Kylo Ren resparked my rage. "Get the fuck away from me!" "No. You are acting like a pathetic child. It was just a resistance pilot. Stop crying!" He snarled at me. I lost it. I flew down the ramp of the Silencer and punched Kylo's helmet square in jaw. The next thing I knew my body is being thrown back and I was slammed in to the side of the Silencer, hitting the ground hard on my hands and knees. I wiped the small streak of blood from the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. I used the Force and threw Kylo into a nearby TIE Fighter, successfully shattering the viewing window. Kylo got back up, using the Force to drag me towards him, then flicked his wrist slamming me in to hanger wall. More blood began to pool in my mouth. I spit out as much as I could and began to feel my body heat up. I summoned the flames and the Force, then sent blast after blast at Kylo. He barely dodged the blasts, one hit him in the chest singeing his robes and helmet. The heat was too much causing him throw off his helmet. His lip was spilt and sweat was on his brow. As I prepared to send another blast of fire his way, he Force choked me and dragged me towards him. As I gasped for air I couldn't help myself but to claw at the invisible hands around my neck. When I was in reach, he wrapped an actual hand around my neck, turned, and pinned me to the wall. Though his hand held me in place, his grip loosened so I could once again breathe.
"I hate you! You bastard! I... I trusted you! How... how could you?!" I yelled raggedly as I gulped in air. The tears were back running down my cheeks, mixing with the blood on my lips. Kylo pursed his lips and looked me in the eyes, " I... had no choice. I can't disobey the Supreme Leader!" His rage causing his voice to raise, he let go of my neck and held me upright by my shoulders. "Please, just end this. I'm done. I can't do this. Just kill me already!" I yelled, I didn't try to fight back anymore. My spirit was finally broken. I would've slumped to the ground but his grip kept me in place. Kylo bared his teeth seething, "You fool! I thought you were stronger than this! You were to join me! And be at my side! No, I won't let you have death!" Before I could register what was happening, his lips were on mine. I could taste his blood mixing with mine on my lips. In both shock and rage I slapped him. He stumbled back in shock rubbing the side of his face. I walked up to him my chest pressed to his, "You don't get to do that to me!" I grabbed the collar of his robes and forcefully pulled him down to me locking his lips to mine. I hated the man but I also felt something I couldn't explain when it came to him. Another tear rolled down my cheek as we kissed, Kylo slowly pulled back, my blood on his lips and his on mine. "I... I hate you." I turned on my heel and headed towards my room. Kylo didn't follow me and I was grateful. As I entered my room I was greeted by Bebe, who let out an alarmed chirp at my disheveled state. I walked to my bed and crawled under the covers, drawing them completely over my head in and attempt to shut out the world.
