Once again, this has taken forever. Apologies, apologies. Again this is only slightly related to the 'eight maids' of the poem, but the idea was too cute to get out of my head!
Enjoy, Reader.
L_M_D
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five gold rings!, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Pulling on her bright blue wellington boots as the Doctor pushed open the TARDIS door, Rose grinned. It quickly turned into a grimace as the unmistakable scent of true country air wafted through the open door. Manure.
She wasn't sure how the Doctor and herself had come to make the bet, only that it had involved several glasses of a slightly fizzy, mint flavoured drink in a bar two nights ago. And now, it seemed, the bet was actually going to come to fruition.
They were going to milk a cow.
"Rose, I am over nine centuries old. Of course I can milk a cow."
"Yeah, but, have you - " she paused to take a sip of the surprisingly potent alcoholic mixture. "Have you ever actually seen a cow? Like, up close?"
"That, Rose, is entirely… errelephant – irrelevant," he giggled. "Have you ever seen a cow up close?" He prodded her on the arm, rather harder than he intended to.
"No, but at least cows are from my planet. That's closer than you!"
The evening had ended with a very loud, impromptu singalong to Wicked, all the way back to the TARDIS, accompanied by two of the waiters, who both seemed to think they were engaged to the Doctor.
And now the Doctor and Rose stood outside the TARDIS, squinting slightly in the sunlight. A cow mooed loudly from their right hand side. Feeling a warm breeze on her arm, Rose glanced that way, and jumped when she saw the large Friesian, it's nose practically on her elbow. A slight scream of surprise escaped her lips, and the Doctor laughed.
"If you're too scared of the cow, Rose, we can give in now."
"What, and let you win? I don' think so, mister!" she poked him in the chest before grabbing his hand and heading determinedly for the farmhouse at the bottom of the field.
The farmer had looked slightly befuddled at their request to milk a cow, but was very obliging after the Doctor had apparently shown them credentials suggesting they were affiliated to a local veterinary college. And now, after wading through what felt like six inches of flipping mud, and Rose was beginning to question if this was a good idea. The Doctor had apparently indicated they wanted to milk 'the old-fashioned way' so the farmer had bypassed the rather terrifying looking machinery, and had plonked a stool down in the middle of a barn, and was now calmly leading in what looked like the biggest cow Rose had ever seen.
She did have to laugh when the farmer offered the seat to the Doctor first, asking if he wanted to 'give the young lady a demonstration?'
"Yeah!" Rose had replied. "I really don't want to make any mistakes, Doctor…" She smiled sweetly at the evil glare he had flashed her way.
Right he thought to himself as he sat down. Just a cow. You're over 900 years old, you can definitely milk a cow…
Thirteen minutes later and Rose and the Doctor ran, hands clasped, completely covered in mud, towards the TARDIS.
They collapsed in the console room, sides aching from the run, and from their hysterical laughter.
"That was… literally… the funniest thing… I have ever… seen!" Rose panted through her giggles.
The Doctor looked at her, opened his mouth to speak, and burst into laughter again.
"Wha'?" Rose said, trying to sound indignant, but laughing too hard.
"You're covered in mud!"
"So are you!" she pointed.
"Ah!" he replied, striding over to her to push a mud streaked section of hair away from her face. "But on Gallifrey, being covered in mud is a sign of heroism."
"Bull!" she laughed, as the Doctor broke down, unable to keep his straight face. "And you were hardly heroic when that cow kicked you in the stomach! You waved a screwdriver at it until it bit you!"
The two fell about laughing once more.
"And the farmers face when you tried to milk it!" she chuckled. "He looked like you'd suddenly grown two heads!
"How was I supposed to know you didn't just grab on and hope?!"
"Says Mr. 'I'm over 900 years old, of course I can milk a cow!'" she laughed. The Doctor just shook his head in shame.
"Anyway!" Rose continued, after their giggles had subsided. "I ought to go get some of this mud off! And you ought to do the same!"
"Well, Rose, if you're offering to share your shower with me…" he winked and raised one eyebrow.
She immediately went bright red.
"Shu' up!" she mumbled. "You know wha' I meant!"
He laughed more at her discomfort before once more brushing away that stray piece of hair.
"I know." He kissed her forehead lightly, his hand still on her neck from his apparently innocent action, desperately ignoring the butterflies in his stomach and the temptation to let his lips touch hers. She was struggling with the same feeling as she raised her head to look him in the eyes, a light blush still on her cheeks. She smiled slightly, and he couldn't resist it any more. So quickly she later thought she must have dreamt it, he ducked his head and lightly kissed her lips.
He broke away immediately and began talking about the next adventure, whilst she struggled to regain balance. At a lull in his excitable chatter, she motioned towards the bathroom.
"Yeah, let me just get this mud off, yeah?"
He nodded, and waited until she had almost left the console room before calling after her. When she turned, she thought she saw him blush as he stared hard at the console but said
"I think you look rather… charming. Covered in mud."
He coughed and began entering coordinates. She let out a small, nervous giggle, and walked away to the bathroom, a slight but unmistakeable spring in her step.
