Another case of too busy or too lazy to update. Sorry for the long wait! Thank you for all of the reviews! Enjoy!
That you were all that mattered to me
We sit in my truck in silence.
When still nobody has said anything in a solid two minutes, I ask, "Where should we go, Kono?"
Her eyes move toward me, but her face stays facing the window as she nervously bites her nails.
The lack of answer I receive drives me to just turn the key and take the truck out of park.
Pulling out of the parking lot, I decide it's best to go somewhere private.
I pull into my driveway and throw the vehicle into park. "This good enough?" I ask her, patiently waiting for her response.
She snorts loudly as she reaches for the door handle and pushes the door open.
We both climb out of the truck and follow her to the door as she reaches for her keys and unlocks the door.
She can't see my surprised look at her actions, but trust me, it's there.
Kono heads straight for the fried tossing her keys on the counter. She pulls out the orange juice, pouring herself a glass.
I lean against the counter across from her and wait to be acknowledged.
After she finishes the glass, she rinses it out and places it on the counter.
Finally, she breaks the silence. "Well, what are you waiting for? I don't have all day for this."
I wait for her to make eye contact with me before I take a deep breath and say, "I'm sorry."
She chuckles dryly and shakes her head. "This is such a waste of my time."
I don't know what to say to that because I can't honestly say that I would have listened to me either if I was her.
"I'm sorry," I repeat.
"God, Steve! Is that the only thing you can say?" She asks, rolling her eyes.
I shrug my shoulders. "I don't really know what to say. I didn't get a lot of time to think this conversation through. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, I know you're sorry. That really doesn't mean anything to me right now."
"I don't blame you. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm just so sorry."
"What are you sorry for Steve?" She asks with a sigh.
"For everything! For acting like you didn't matter. For treating you like you were someone I hated. For pushing you away when I should have been pulling you closer. When I should have been making you realize how much I loved you. When I should have been proving that you were all I needed. All I'll ever need."
She gasps a little at my confession "Steve-"
I interrupt her. "Don't, Kono. I know I screwed up, and... I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing after every goddamn sentence, Steve!" Kono shouts.
"Then what do you want? What can I do for you to forgive me?" I ask desperately.
"I don't- I don't know if that's possible. Three years. It's been three years, Steve," She says quietly.
"I know. I know, but I don't know what to say to make it better."
Kono runs her fingers through her hair. "You can't make it better or act like those three years didn't happen."
I can tell she's waiting for me to say something. Something specific that would ease the pain and suffering I have caused her.
I don't know what she wants me to say.
Finally, she gives up. "Tell me why."
"What?"
"Tell me why you did what you did," she says quietly, searching my eyes.
I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.
"Tell. Me. Why," she says harshly.
"I just wanted- needed- I just needed to protect you."
Her eyes flash with anger. "Protect me? You needed to protect me? When have I ever needed someone's protection?"
"Kono, I just-"
"No!" She shouts. "Why did you need to protect me? What did you think you needed to protect me from?"
"I needed to protect you from me, Kono!"
Oh you should've said all the things
From him?
"From you?!" I ask, shocked.
"Yes, from me. Kono, I am not good for you. I don't deserve you. I've messed up so much. I can't mess you up, too."
"Oh my god. You are such a complete and total idiot!" I say not believing my ears.
"Kono-"
"You think you can tell me what is and isn't good for me? You think I didn't know what I was getting into when I fell for you? You think I would get involved with someone I though would end up hurting me in the end? I said yes to your proposal, Steve! I didn't care how dangerous things could get. I'm a cop! It's my job to live with danger. I can't believe you have so big of an ego that you think you were the most dangerous part of my life," I say, rubbing my forehead.
"Ego?" He asks, confused. "My ego has nothing to do with this. I know for a fact that I bring danger into people's lives. I have a heavy load of enemies, Kono. I couldn't stand to see you get hurt because of me."
"What? And I've never made enemies? I was a surfer, Steve. You know those competitions have some crazies involved. I beat plenty of older competiors that have been the best all of their life. I was eighteen. Jealousy isn't a good thing."
"Don't act like surfer enemies are anything compared to enemies from war," he says. "And I can take care of myself."
What?
"What did you just say?" I ask slowly.
Steve's eyes widen. "Oh god, Kono. K didn't mean it like that."
"I'm pretty sure you meant exactly what you said," I retort. My voice, against my will, sounded destroyed. "The worst part of that sentence is the fact that I obviously still have not proven myself to you. I thought you had faith in me."
"I do have faith in you," he says. "I just don't have faith in myself."
"Steve, you are not a bad person. Stop thinking less of yourself. You don't need to protect me. I was your fiancé not just some friend."
Steve sighs heavily and a small smirk graces his face. "I still have the ring."
"What?" I ask. I'm not sure I heard him right.
"Yeah, it's dumb right?" He chuckles dryly. "I took it away from you, but yet I couldn't get rid of it."
"Well, I still have the keys to this place. These past three years have been hell, Steve. Don't get me wrong. I love surfing, but everything happens for a reason. My knee didn't give out to destroy me. It made me stronger. It gave me Danny, and it gave me you."
It seemed like the tension started to disappear at my statement.
Steve truly smiles at that. "Well, I'm glad your knee decided to disown you, too. I don't know where I'd be without you."
I smile back. "You could have told me you were afraid I was going to get hurt."
Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, because speaking my feelings in something I always do. You're lucky I got this far today."
"You've gotten better," I admit.
We stand in silence just looking at each other.
"Come back to Five-0. Please."
I gasp a little and stand stunned for a minute.
...
"Yes."
Thanks for reading guys! Please review! I apologize again for the long wait!
