I almost want to scream when Meredith and I arrive home and Cristina is on the couch. But when she turns her head and makes eye contact with Meredith I can tell that Cristina is broken and she needs Meredith more than I do in this moment. I nod to Meredith and head upstairs with my laptop and leave them to do their thing. I'm aimlessly surfing the Web nit even twenty minutes later when I hear the front door burst open and the rumble of Owen's low baritone giving ehat I assume is a well meaning speech. There's some shuffling downstairs and I hear the door close again and Owen's car backing out of the driveway. Meredith comes upstairs a few minutes later and looks absolutely drained. She changes quickly changes and drops into bed beside me.
"How's Cristina?" I ask.
"She's...I don't know." Meredith mumbles. She burrows down into the pillow so that her face is level with my hip. "I don't know."
"And how are you?" I ask. I shut my laptop and put it on my bedside table. It urn onto my side and lie down so we're facing each other. I rub her arm shoulder to elbow before she grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers.
"I'm tires." She mumbles. "And sad and angry and just..." She trails off and looks over my shoulder.
"What about physically?"
"I'm fine physically." She says. "My period returned past week so we're good to go." She sounds sad and she bites her lip.
"So the crying in the shower was more than just the raging hormones?" I tease lightly. She blushes and burows her head into the pillows.
"You weren't supposed to hear that." We're silent for a few moments until she peaks her head back out from the pillows.
"Are you okay?" Her voice is soft and gentle and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
" Yeah I just...I wish you'd told me sooner." I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. She only nods beside me.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you." Her voice is shaky but when I turn to look at her her eyes are dry. I wrap my atm around her shoulder anyway.
"It's okay I understand." I whisper. We fall into silence again.
"That's why April was there instead of me when you woke up." She says softly. "I was at the clinic getting a D&C."
"Oh"
"Yeah" Her voice is quiet and I feel her roll onto her back as well.
"I'm sorry about the reckless driving." I offer.
"Thanks." Suddenly within me the dam breaks and I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. I roll over and wrap my arms around her torso and bury my face in the side of her head.
"I love you." I tell her as the tears start to fall.
"I love you too." She says as she embraces me. I cry on her shoulder.
"It's going to be okay." She soothes.
"Why aren't you crying?" I wonder aloud.
"I've cried enough over this." She says softly.
That should've been the first red flag that everything was going to fall apart.
