Here's another update, thanks for reading and the feedback!
After dessert had been served, she left the men to talk among themselves on the deck and went back into the living room. She had talked Chris that afternoon over the phone into dropping off some files that Murray had left on her desk and she began to review them. She tried to focus on the legal contracts, but it was difficult for her to keep the words from swimming all over the page. She hadn't taken a pain pill in a while though she kept on taking the antibiotics.
But seriously she should be able to review and sign contracts and merger forms in her sleep, not that she did much of either anymore now that she spent almost all of her time working for Matt's investigative firm. When she walked into the office tomorrow and into her office, it would be just like normal. It had to be…because she couldn't keep facing days like this one…where she didn't feel like herself in her own skin.
She brushed her hair out of her face and the words finally seemed to flow together properly. The terms of the contracts appeared pretty sound and she should probably just sign them and send them back to him. But then Murray would get back to her on the phone and argue over some of the details and she didn't feel like getting into it with him right now.
Matt walked into the room with a mug in his hand and gave it to her. She saw it was some herbal tea.
"Thanks," she said, "I think I need this right now."
She sat beside her.
"What are you doing," he said, "Murray sent you more paperwork?"
She nodded.
"A couple of contracts," she said, "They're good by the way if you want to read them."
She handed them over to him and he perused them.
"Murray's done a great job with the business end," Matt said, "He seems to really enjoy it."
She smiled.
"Some people do get a lot out of working in business and that's great," she said, "He makes a great president, not that you didn't but your heart's elsewhere, that's all."
He couldn't disagree with her observation because he had known Murray for years since he had hired him out as a CPA and had found his energy both refreshing and unnerving.
"I can't argue with that," Matt said, "I love what I do…what we do."
She turned pensive for a moment and he wondered what she was thinking. He knew she had really enjoyed building up the investigative firm with him the past several years minus a few gunshot wounds of course.
"So do I…," she said finally, "I don't want to give that up."
He heard the trepidation in her voice.
"C.J. you don't have to and I hope you don't," he said, "You just need to heal those ribs up first. It shouldn't be that long."
But she looked at him, not wanting to tell him that the thought of returning to investigation thrilled her but terrified her too. Because out there, were dangerous people including those who had grudges against them.
"I know…and I've got plenty to do at the office to keep me busy."
And when Matt looked at her then, he knew that was what it was all about with her. Keeping busy so she wouldn't think because to think was to remember what happened. As for him, his investigations of cases on file would be put on hold until he tracked down Dallas and found him. He hoped that Tony would call him back with good news so he wouldn't have to go down for a repeat visit.
"C.J. you're going to get plenty of rest," he said, "You know you can get some sleep there if you need it."
She just looked at him strangely.
"Houston, I'm fine really," she said, "I'm going to the office in the morning and I'm putting in my hours like everyone else."
The determination in her voice made him smile but that look in her eyes…saddened him too. As soon as he found that lowlife, it would be over in the sense that a dangerous man would be off the streets…one way or another.
She watched him then, looking at her kindly, dressed in his field investigative wardrobe of choice, jeans and a shirt from Rice University's football program.
"We'll start tomorrow with a lighter load and we'll see and if you're in any pain or get tired, you're going to rest…you don't want to return to the hospital."
She made a face.
"God no…but that won't happen," she said, "I'll mind my ribs which are just cracked a little not broken and I'll take breaks."
He knew just how important it was that she returned to work…her only way she believed of feeling somewhat normal again…if that were possible.
And he would do whatever it took to help her in that journey no matter how long it took.
C.J. slept better that night and had planned to go to work at the office after she met with Miranda for her therapy appointment. She dressed in her business attire but wore pants instead of a dress and drove to the medical center. Julie had told her about Miranda's credentials in trauma counseling but C.J. wondered how this woman could help her. She didn't need it anyway; she was doing just fine now that she had returned to work.
She drove down the street towards the office, and traffic was light. She turned on the music and listened to it humming to herself. Maybe if she completed work early in the afternoon, she might take some time off to check out some sales in the nearby shopping area. She really needed a new winter coat and she had seen some nice looking ones in the window last time.
Then suddenly the song changed and she froze, the chill returning once again even before she remembered when she last heard that song. She had been in her bedroom, the stereo turned on to the same station…she saw the knife, the light reflecting it from the lamp and curtains...wafting in the breeze. Her dress…it had been ripped open in the front and the scent of tobacco and alcohol hit her…how could that be inside the car?
"Just lie still for me, or I'm going to cut you," a man's voice said, "You know this is what you wanted…what all women want…"
A voice inside of her head screamed anyway and her face felt the blow that followed from his fist and then his hands moved over her bra and his knife moved towards it.
She blinked her eyes and felt the sweat on the back of her neck and noticed she had stopped her car. The light had been red and traffic swept in front of her. She breathed quicker and her eyes blurred, then as her breathing slowed when she took deep breaths, her vision cleared again.
"It's okay," she told herself over and over again until the light turned green again and she kept driving.
Matt didn't see any messages from Tony and figured he would give him another day but he went down to look up Slick the owner of a bar whose daughter Matt had freed from extortionists who kidnapped her after he stopped paying protection fees to them.
He caught up with him cleaning up inside the bar after what appeared to have been a lively night.
"What do you want," Slick asked gruffly.
"I need to talk to you," Matt said, "I'm looking for someone, an escaped convict…"
Slick held up his hands.
"Now hold on…you know I'm more selective about my clientele than that."
Matt pulled out his billfold.
"I can help pay for last night's damage if you'll help me find this man."
Matt produced a picture of a grainy mug shot he had pulled off of Dallas from the internet and showed it to Slick who looked at it scratching his head.
"I don't know him…"
"I didn't ask if you knew him," Matt said, "I'm just wondering if you've seen him. He's been downtown looking for fake ID."
Slick shook his head.
"Maybe Bruiser, he's my bouncer can help you," he said, "You know I don't close this joint at night…I'm strictly on banker hours now that I'm getting old."
Matt looked at him, agreeing that the years of boozing and a drug addiction earlier in his life had aged him somewhat.
"Okay where can I find this Bruiser," Matt asked.
"He's in my back office," Slick said, "But he's not in the best of moods this morning, so go easy."
Matt's just eyed him directly.
"Well neither am I so we've got something in common."
Slick caught that look and his brows lifted.
"What the hell's going on here," he said, "You sound like you're on some kind of mission with this con."
"He brutally assaulted a friend of mine," he said, "You know C.J. don't you?"
Slick nodded.
"Yeah nice woman, pretty looking," he said, "Why would anyone go after her?"
Matt sighed.
"I don't know…he was a client of hers back in her PD days but I'm not sure why he did it."
"Revenge probably…a man who's locked up like this guy's been according to the newscasts, we'll he's had plenty of time to store up a lot of anger and figure out how to use it."
"He was locked up for some years this time…nearly three…"
"Well then he's going to cause some serious damage before the law catches up with him," Slick said, "Go talk to Bruiser and let me do my work."
Matt walked to the back office where he saw a huge looking man, bald with an earring who looked up at him.
"What do you want?"
"I was hoping you could help me…I'm looking for a man named Dallas…he…"
Bruiser nodded.
"He escaped from prison…I heard about him on the news. Mean SOB."
"You know him?"
"I know of him," he said, "A bouncer under me did time as a guard up at the same prison before retiring last year and Dallas is one tough mean guy, did time for attempted murder and rape…lots of assaults."
"I got the rap sheet too."
Bruiser tilted his head.
"You after him for some reason…because he's meaner than a rattlesnake and twice as deadly."
"He hurt a friend of mine," Matt said, "and I want to make sure he pays for that."
Bruiser shook his head.
"I'm sorry tough break…but you should let the police handle him, they'll need to send out those guys with battle armor and guns that can blast a whole through a man."
"Well the police are looking for him and so am I."
Bruiser leaned back in his chair.
"Well good luck…but if he wants to hide, he'll be tough to draw out…though I can't figure out where the cash is coming from."
That caught Matt's attention.
"Yeah I can't either," he said, "He's got to have a benefactor somewhere."
"Maybe…someone on the outside or someplace else…another prison…"
Matt furrowed his brow considering that. It could be someone who went to prison because of some case they handled, or another that she did but then that person had to have access to money and probably wouldn't have needed a public defender.
He handed Bruiser his business card.
"If you learn anything else, give me a call," he said, "Pass on my number to your bouncer."
Bruiser nodded.
"I hope they catch this guy but it won't be easy…"
Matt didn't care about that. Easy or hard, the guy was still going down as far as he was concerned.
C.J. waited in Miranda's office, looking at the certificates of her training on the wall. She had been to UCLA for her training and had gone to many seminars and received recognition for papers she had presented on PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as it was called and for trauma counseling.
Surely this was more than she needed, she thought. She didn't have anything like PTSD or another disorder. She wasn't crazy after all.
Miranda returned with some tea, and handed C.J. a mug before sitting down. She dressed casually in jeans and what looked like a multi-color shirt out of a Jackson Pollack inspired collection. She had crow's feet when she smiled and some salt in her peppery hair.
"So you made it here," she said, "That's a very important first step."
C.J. shrugged.
"I thought maybe it would help me sleep," she said, "The medication makes me groggy but it's hard to relax enough to sleep."
Miranda nodded.
"That's not uncommon," she said, "It sounds like you've been through a very traumatic ordeal, one that you had absolutely no control over…and that can be quite a struggle for many women to face who've been raped."
C.J. blinked her eyes at that.
"I…well he…"
Miranda smiled and leaned back in her chair which made it squeak.
"I know it's hard even to say it to yourself, let alone deal with what happened," she said, "And I understand the man responsible is he dead?"
C.J. paused and then shook her head.
"No I shot the man with him," she said, "the one who…attacked me got away."
Miranda made some notations on her pad before looking back up at C.J.
"After the man who escaped had…finished…the other man wanted to…but they went out in the hallway for a brief moment and that's when I was able to get my gun and shoot."
Miranda listened quietly.
"I should have gotten to it sooner…I don't usually take it with me but I should have had it. If I did…"
"You wouldn't have been terrorized in your own home by two men and raped?"
C.J. tilted her head and nodded.
"I could have stopped it from happening and I didn't…Dallas, he got what he wanted…I defended him once when I was a PD back in Houston and he would…make these comments."
"That made you uncomfortable…"
C.J. nodded.
"And I asked to be removed from handling his case," she said, "and after they found some writings in his cell, they agreed and assigned him to another attorney."
"And he got convicted and went to prison and he blamed you?"
"Yes…I guess he did," she said, "He didn't talk about that when he was in my house…just that I should know why they were there and what they wanted from me…he said that to me when he grabbed me and pinned me against the wall…before they took me to the bedroom…my bedroom…"
C.J. paused there to take a breath. Two breaths and she eyed the Kleenex box but didn't touch it.
"It's okay C.J…that's why you're here isn't it, to talk about it in a safe nonjudgmental environment."
C.J. pursed her lips.
"I couldn't move when he had me against the wall…they were both there laughing…calling me things…Dallas, he ripped my dress on top and grabbed my breast…it hurt…and I told him to let go..To go away and I wouldn't say anything…but he laughed again and said he wanted me like this…he had waited long enough."
Miranda looked at her and C.J. read understanding in her eyes.
"Do you really think you could have stopped them…there were two of them…were they armed?"
"Dallas had a knife…he held it against me and then later used it to cut my bra..."
C.J. fell silent then and the images threatened to overwhelm her.
"So you've been dreams…nightmares since?"
C.J. nodded.
"Yeah…I don't always remember them when I wake up but when I close my eyes…I see them there…they're inside my head and they won't leave."
Miranda nodded.
"We can work on making them go away," she said, "But it's going to take time…time and investing the work are good healers."
"What I need is some way to get back to my normal life…"
Miranda leaned forward.
"You'll get there but I'm not going to lie to you, it won't be easy because it's quite a long process."
C.J. nodded.
"I know…but I want people to not treat me differently like something that's been broken…"
"You have a good support unit?"
C.J. smiled.
"My best friend and his family have been helping me," she said, "I haven't been able to go home..since that night and I'm staying with my friend's uncle."
"That's good…It's often hard to go back home when you've been attacked there…and you need to be somewhere where you feel safe."
"I do…most of the time but my friend he wants to find this guy, he's a private investigator and I'm afraid for him."
"It's probably his way of trying to have some control over something that he couldn't control anymore than you could."
That made sense to C.J. because she knew Matt had struggled with that when Elizabeth had been killed in the plane crash, something beyond his or anyone's control.
"I just don't want anything to happen to him," she told Miranda.
Matt walked down the corridor to the police station where he would be meeting with Det. Perkins one of them assigned to C.J.'s case but he ran into Hoyt in the hallway.
"Houston, what brings you down here?"
"I'm here to talk to the investigators on C.J.'s case," he said, "I want to find out what progress they have made."
"Houston, you can't do that."
Matt folded his arms.
"Why not Hoyt…there's a dangerous man out there, a rapist and someone needs to get him off the streets."
"That someone's going to have to be police Houston, you know that."
But Matt had no intention of backing off in his pursuit of Dallas and when he found him…and then he saw Hoyt looking at him and knew that the lieutenant knew that nothing he said would stop Matt from doing what he believed he had to do.
