Chapter 8 (Ana POV)

I'm shaking as I put the cell phone back in my bag. When he is going to stop all this? I just want to lead a normal life where I'm not looking over my shoulder waiting for Jack Hyde to jump out of the bushes or get the phone call that Christian was killed. I've done everything he has asked me to do. I will never go back to Seattle or to Christian Grey.

All I want is to be able to call my mom or Ray and tell them myself that I'm so sorry for running away and that I love them so very much. I know that I will never get that opportunity as long as Jack Hyde is alive.

I need to pull myself together before Jose gets back from the Brownstone. I insisted that he go home, shower and take a nap.

Teddy won't stop crying and I'm not supposed to get out of bed yet at least not without help so I page for a nurse to come in.

"Do you think you are to give breast feeding another try," the nurse asks as she places Teddy in my arms.

The first time was a disaster. I was so emotional after coming out of recovery that I couldn't relax enough to nurse. Jose had to give him a bottle because I was crying from the pain. Thank God for pain meds. I am finally starting to feel better.

The nurse places Teddy at my breast and he latches right one.

"See I told you that if you just relaxed that this will come naturally to you," she said smiling. "I will leave you; this is a very special time that I will come check on you in a few minutes. Page me if you need anything."

This is the most amazing feeling. I fell in love with my son the moment that Jose brought him over to me. He looked at me. I felt like he knew I was his mom. I look at his face and for the first time in eight months I see Christian and tears begin to fall down my face. His gray eyes and the little copper curls on the back of his head and his nose are going to be lifetime memories of the only man that I truly loved.

"I love you so much," I say as I stoke his face. I can't believe that four hours ago he was inside me and now here he is. It's so surreal; it's hard to take everything in.

"I am going to give you the best life possible and so will Jose," I say finally realizing what I said in the operating room. I asked him if he wanted to be Teddy's father. I had no right to put that on Jose and not at that moment. That wasn't fair to him.

Just then I look up and see Jose at the foot of my bed just staring at me.

"I'm sorry, I knocked, I wasn't sure if you two were napping, I didn't want to disturb you," he says with a real apologetic look as if he's interrupting a private moment.

I am nursing my son with my breast exposed but I feel comforted by his presence and ask him to take a seat next to me.

"You look rested," I say. That's what I need is a shower and to put on fresh clothes and I need to brush my teeth and then I will feel human again.

"Ana, you already look like a pro," he says as he holds out his hand to me. I do not hesitate and place my hand into his. I'm elated that the electricity didn't disappear.

"Did you feel that?" I ask hoping that he did to.

"You felt it, I thought it was only me," he says. "Ana, there is something I need to say to you.

"I love you!"

"Jose, I love you too."

Standing up he slowly moves over to me and kissed me. I kiss him back with all of my might and motion for him to lie down on the bed with me and our son. He kisses Teddy's head and me again before laying his head on my pillow watching me nurse our son and then we all fall asleep.