Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto franchise. I do however own this OC in my story though. Kishimoto could've gave me the rights for my birthday, but he's tripping.

Broken Tools

Chapter 8: Nipples Can Grow Back

X.X.X.

(Forest of Death, Konohagakure)

It was just another bright, sunny day in Konoha.

The birds were chirping.

The sun was shining.

Young children were being put through their paces in order to become adorable little dealers of death.

Love was in the air.

Asuma and Ino were being particularly cautious as they travelled through the Forest of Death. Keeping to the branches to avoid any hostile encounters on the forest floor, the Sarutobi and his Yamanaka student were on the search for the remaining portion of their squad.

There was an urgent call for back up sent by Kakashi and his team, and what pretty much all of the other ninja skilled enough being tied up with their own missions and objectives, Asuma's team was the lucky selection to go out.

Asuma inwardly grunted at what they were about to be facing. Two of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist plus a mystery factor on their side? Normally he wouldn't be so worried about their chances, but then again he did have three genin to watch over as well. Their official mission objective was to provide the appropriate amounts of support and essentially keep any harm from befalling the bridge builder and to prevent any casualties.

The unspoken mission was to basically put the two down. Easier said and read on paper, but actually going through with it was a whole different story.

He wasn't even counting the mystery component to the mission either. They had no intel whatsoever on the enigma on their side, which was even more fuel to the tense fire that was close to being lit in the pit of the bearded smoker's stomach.

He knew that Naruto and Shikamaru to an extent were somewhat prepared for what was going to go down. It was Ino he was really concerned with.

The two males on his team weren't exactly as experienced as him, but at least they had a leg over Ino. She was completely green as grass, had no idea how actual field work went, and wasn't really the most combat oriented on the team. Hell, Shikamaru only beat her out in that department by a little bit.

Looking to his side in order to converse with his female student, he chose to put all of his worries to the side for now. They haven't even left yet, "Ino, how are you feeling about the mission?"

Not missing a beat, Ino kept advancing while she responded, "Not gonna lie to you sensei, it sounds pretty scary. To hear that Sakura's team had to deal with two people that strong... and now we gotta go deal with 'em too. Pretty heavy stuff..." She trailed off as they hopped off of yet another branch. She wasn't lying either.

Between splitting her attention with chasing after Sasuke and staying pretty, Ino knew honestly that she was lacking shinobi wise. Well, she was falling short more in the combat side of things. There were other aspects that she could be proud of and brag about all day.

She was smart. Not Shikamaru smart, but there was some confidence that her intelligence at least beat Naruto's.

She was pretty. Ugly kunoichi weren't really a thing.

And she was clan raised. Granted she wasn't a Senju, an Uchiha, hell, even an Uzumaki. But she had her pride in her family and their techniques.

Her recent training sessions with Naruto and Shikamaru helped her improve somewhat, but would it be enough? The basic academy cookie cutter jutsu, really basic academy taijutsu, and one clan jutsu that really wasn't fit for heavy duty fighting wasn't gonna cut it. Her strongest jutsu left her completely defenseless.

How was she supposed to stack up in the world right now? Especially compared to her teammates...

Frowning at the thought of her being the weakest link, she instantly shook her head, trying to get rid of those self downing thoughts. There were no weak links in their team.

Naruto was obviously the front line soldier with his crazy taijutsu and kekkei genkai. It still threw Ino for a loop every time she thought back to when he revealed to the team his background story. Being raised by a scary ass criminal with borderline creepy penchant for kids was bound to leave some sort of mental impression on a child. He didn't exactly go into detail about anything relating his early childhood, and any attempts to get him to talk only resulted in him running away. Well, he didn't call it running away.

By his definition, it was a tactical retreat. Best not to let the enemy interrogate you to gleam any information off of you.

Shikamaru was the brains of the crew. The tactician. He was the one who had the game plan for everything. They all knew that Shikamaru's brain was something seriously strong when he ran circles around everyone, even Asuma-sensei, for a whole day in shogi. Add on to the fact that he was making an active effort to shy away from the traditional stationary battle style that the Nara clan generally employed in favor of a more active style, and it was clear that he was on the path to be a notable shinobi.

Sighing at the thought of that crazy blond and lazy genius on her team, Ino let out a soft chuckle, "Asuma-sensei, how do you think we'll do?"

"Well, to be honest, I thin-"

Ino grabbed him, stopping him from completing his verbal opinion, before yanking him back with surprising strength to prevent Asuma being taken out by a speeding black blur that came from the forest floor below. It was shortly followed by another similar colored blur, then another one, then another one.

Somewhere in the world, a dj smiled and rubbed his hands in a completely satisfied fashion.

"So you're telling me... that there's a clone of yours that automatically has his own distinct personality?"

"Yes."

"How did that even happen?"

"I dunno to be honest, I just know that every time I make a clone he's automatically there."

"What's so special about him?"

"Highly aggressive and prone to spontaneous homicidal fits of rage."

"... Probably more homicidal than you, correct?"

"He's probably my suppressed homicidal maniac side given corporeal form."

"...Why do you even have a suppressed homicidal maniac side?"

"We've all been trained to murder grown men with our bare hands before we reach double digits in age. Abc's and cold blooded killing was part of our curriculum. The bigger question you should be asking is 'who doesn't have one'?"

"Troublesome..."

"...So you and your clones have collectively agreed to refer to this unique clone as Stabby."

"Yup! Look at Stabby go!"

"They can't catch me boss! I'm too awesome for 'em!"

"Troublesome again."

Those two voices are really familiar...

Ino peered over the branch to look down in the direction of where she heard the voices, and bit back a gasp. The clearing that Shikamaru and Naruto were currently occupying looked like absolute hell.

There were slash marks decorating the area beneath the boys' feet, craters punched indiscriminately into the ground, and... wait.

Was that a fallen tree? How in the hell did those two manage that?

The tree took up so much of her attention that she failed to notice the bones protruding out of Naruto's arm in a particular formation recede back into his skin...

It didn't escape Asuma's far more experienced eyes, however. The higher you got in skill as a shinobi, the more keen you were to the finer details into your surroundings. Not noticing that little broken twig beside a bush or that suspicious patch of grass is all it takes for someone to slip up and die.

"Those holes and slash marks... Naruto, what have you been up to?"

A pop above Asuma and Ino served as a indicator that one of the clones popped. On the forest floor, Naruto's head homed in on their location, a warm smile shining at them, "Hi, guys! Quit being nosy and come on down here!" He invited while waving his hands.

Asuma and Ino obliged his request, hopping down from their elevated perch to join their teammates. Looking around in awe, Ino gazed upon the damage that was present here, "Alright, I'll bite. What the hell were you two doing?"

"Training/Experimenting." Was the simultaneous answer. Experimenting? That didn't sound good. Especially since it came from the jinchuuriki with self admitted suppressed homicidal tendencies.

Casting a suspicious glance in Naruto's direction, Ino closed in on him cautiously, "Experimenting with what?" Slashes in the ground don't come from taijutsu, which was the main bread and butter of Naruto's play book.

No Nara in recorded history was known for explosive jutsu, and Shikamaru definitely didn't seem like the type to favor chaotic explosions.

Shikamaru strolled over from his position against a tree to stand beside the blond and answer the question, "Apparently Naruto is beginning to dabble in fuuinjutsu. All of these craters and the fallen tree..." He trailed off, pointing a thumb in Naruto's direction, "Is the result of him going crazy with some explosive tags."

Naruto nodded shamelessly, not at all bothered by the destruction that he unleashed upon the clearing. It was all in the name of science.

Namely, the science of determining just how fucking ridiculous these explosions were gonna be when he started creating his own Uzumaki styled tags. He needed some kind of measuring stick for them.

"Fuuinjutsu? Why fuuinjutsu?" Ino asked, slightly nervous at the potential mayhem that Naruto could cause witness fuinjutsu. Since explosive tags were fairly low level examples of the art of sealing, just how much crazier could it get?

Asuma chuckled to himself, "Of all people, Naruto would be the one to start fuuinjutsu. Looks like you're already on the path to represent your lineage proudly." Seals were practically in his blood. It would've been downright potential wasted if he didn't even get around to messing with the highly effective art.

"Pretty much what Asuma-sensei said, it's part of my lineage. Uzumaki's were known for their fuuinjutsu prowess, and I'll be damned if I don't get me a piece of that action."

Asuma was about to add some more reasoning into the mix, but chose to bite his tongue instead. The kid was a walking example of just how powerful fuuinjutsu is too. There's a seal somewhere on that kid's body that's keeping a massive threat to the village at bay, and that was created by a non Uzumaki shinobi. Just imagine the potential behind a real deal Uzumaki actually dipping his brush into the ink of sealing.

There's no telling what could happen.

So that was another thing he had going for him. Apparently his family were the masters of the relatively unknown art, so of course he'd have to be at least proficient in it.

And here Ino was, with her Shintenshin (Mind Body Switch Technique) and some basic ass training. Damn, there's gotta be something that she could do so she wouldn't fall too far behind.

Noticing the rather downtrodden look on his teammate's face, Shikamaru snapped his fingers rapidly in order to get her attention, "What's eating you, Ino?"

"Huh?" Was her well thought out response.

"Your face, it looks like you're sad about something." The Nara pointed out, gesturing to her facial expression to further emphasize his point.

"Oh, it's nothing really." She stated rather meekly, not really giving off the impression that it was 'nothing really', "But how's your training coming along, Shika?" Wonder what he's been up to. Shikamaru had to be doing something here other than sleeping. It's not like he would've been able to since they were practically tearing the whole clearing up with explosives.

If he could sleep through all of that however, he had to be probably the heaviest sleeper on the planet. Give the boy a medal for that.

With all the attention shifted onto him, Shikamaru grunted, "Ugh, why'd you ask meee?"

"Damn it, Shika! Just answer the question!" Ino ferociously ordered, fists clenched and teeth bared.

They could have sworn there was a fire in her eyes.

"Fine, calm down troublesome woman. If you just really need to know, I've been working on combinations and attack patterns with Naruto's clones. Combinations that'll have me in close with them and the enemy, but far enough back that I won't be directly in the line of fire. They're there to harass the enemy and keep focus off of me so that I can get them with my shadow. Plus I've been sparring here and there to keep my taijutsu in shape."

Asuma nodded proudly at that. An Uzumaki that's starting fuinjutsu, a Nara that's breaking the mold and actually getting more involved with fighting, and a Yamanaka who's going to be right alongside them. Yup, these three were definitely going places.

"Alright kids, let's get to business really quick. Naruto, Shika, we're about to go out on a very important mission." Asuma informed the two boys, noticing Naruto's deadpan expression.

"I swear to Kami if you're making another task of cleaning dog shit up in the park out to be this super important deal, I'll publicly embarrass you."

Those D ranked missions that they've been on for the past two weeks were pure hell for the jinchuuriki. Not because of the difficulty level or anything, because they were far too easy as it is. No, the problem laid on the fact that they were too easy.

For Shikamaru and Ino, they were monotonous after a while, but still fairly simple and easy to complete. Naruto on the other hand hated them because there was no action in them, no potential sense of danger to be found in any of the mundane tasks.

The closest thing he could consider a threat would be accidentally making skin contact with any doggy doo doo piles that they had to clean up. Or maybe hammering a nail through his hand while putting up fences.

To be honest, hammers and nails put up more of an interesting fight than the various piles of dog shit that occupied the village, but that's neither here nor there.

Asuma sweatdropped at that while having the decency to rub the back of his head sheepishly. It seems that Naruto was still sore over that little set up that the Sarutobi pulled on his team. He had to get them hyped just to crush their spirits, as was the unspoken custom that presided within the village.

If you thought that you were going to be doing life threatening, pulse pounding, high octane missions straight out of the academy, real life had a nasty surprise waiting on you.

At least their expressions of pure disappointment were well worth the slight amount of hostility that Naruto displayed every now and then, "No, it's the real deal this time. Like A ranked real deal."

Naruto went from keeping a suspicious glare trained on his sensei to exuding an abnormal amount of excitement, eyes almost having stars in them, "With a potential for hostile encounters?" Asuma nodding caused Naruto to pump a fist up victoriously, "Finally!"

It was about time for some action.

"Troublesome. So where are we off to?" Shikamaru dryly asked, clearly not sharing the same enthusiastic sentiments with his friend. He really didn't feel like risking his life at the moment.

"We're going to Nami no Kuni to back up Kakashi's team. They apparently ran into two of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist over there, and their job is to kill the bridge builder." Asuma explained, not missing the pensive glance that the two males on his team shared.

"It can't be... Our luck isn't that bad..."

"Oh yeah, somebody is gonna die soon... Its gonna be that swordsman."

Shikamaru nervously shifted his weight from one leg to the other, "... Do we have any information of who the two enemies are?" Fate couldn't be that cruel to them.

Hopefully.

"Zabuza Momochi and Jinpachi Munashi."

If he ever had the chance, Shikamaru would bitch slap Fate directly in the face. Seven times.

"Damn it!" Shikamaru exclaimed in an uncharacteristic fashion. Just had to prove him wrong, damn it fate.

"Hell yes! This time he's not getting away!" Naruto declared seriously, a determined fire raging in the boy's blue eyes. He was shaken out of his early celebration at the fact that he was getting a rematch with his nemesis by a sudden influx of memories being processed into his brain.

The sinister grin on his face didn't bode well for anyone, "I'm seriously starting to love my clones."

Shikamaru knew what that meant and inwardly groaned. Why the hell did he have to keep advancing so much, "Another new jutsu I assume."

"You know me and my clones so well."

"Oh yeah, you never showed us that last new jutsu of yours either Naruto. C'mon, let us see it!" Ino pointed out, wanting to see what new things her teammates were cooking up.

Asuma, despite his curiosity of Naruto's new technique, knew that they were on a rather strict time frame. The more time they wasted in the village, the more likely that shit could go even more south than it already was.

"Everybody go get packed up for an A ranked mission. There will be conflict, so pack accordingly."

X.X.X.

(Four Days Later, Nami no Kuni)

KNOCK KNOCK!

A couple of solid knocks on the door alerted one of the main residents in the house to company. A fair skinned, dark haired woman took a momentary pause from chopping vegetables to call out, "Who is it?"

No answer.

The woman was about to call out again, but was advised against it by one of the ninja children that were present in her house. The young raven haired boy made a 'shh' gesture with his hands before slowly advancing towards the wooden door. He angled his body in order to keep the kunai he firmly held in his palm hidden from view before cracking the door open slightly, "Who are you and what is your business?"

"Hi Sasuke!"

Sasuke immediately closed the door. There was something on the other side of this door that didn't need to be there at all. Might as well consider it a threat.

"Leave the premises right now before I have to use lethal force to protect my client."

"Now why would I do that? The whole reason that we're here is because you guys weren't protecting your client well enough in the first place!" Ouch. He had a point, albeit a rather blunt point, but Sasuke wasn't having any of it right now. The last thing he needed was somebody else around his ranking telling him that they were fucking up.

Especially the dobe.

Sasuke grunted before begrudgingly opening the door, glaring daggers at his blond haired companion, "If you bother me at all, just know that I will stab you."

Asuma, puffing on one of his trademark cancer sticks, smiled at the hostile interaction between the two before removing the cigarette from his mouth. He blew smoke to the side before regarding the young Uchiha in the doorway, "Team ten here for the assistance. Now where's your sensei? I got to talk strategy with him and get caught up." He needed the rundown of everything that transpired. All the tactics the enemy used.

Jutsu that were used.

Fighting styles that were used.

All of that. Intel was vital in a situation like this.

Sasuke nodded at the shinobi with seniority standing before him before opening the door fully to allow them in, only to regret his decision instantly once the other blue eyed annoyance jumped straight on him, "Sasuke baby! Don't worry, I'm here to protect you from the big, bad, scary swordsmen!" She proclaimed as they both went on an all expenses paid trip to the floor.

"Get the hell off of me, woman!"

Shikamaru sighed as the rest of his team sidestepped the spectacle, moving into the house. They had business to attend to, so they could worry about the sudden cuddle session on the floor later.

Walking down the hallway, they all took a glance into the kitchen, taking note of the rather attractive woman standing there chopping vegetables. She turned around once she registered the presences standing in her house, "Oh, welcome! I'm Tsunami, my father is out with the other two kids in town."

Asuma nodded at her introduction, shifting his posture to a more laid back, smooth one. In other words, it was time to put the moves on her.

He wasn't going to go too far since he had something in the works with Kurenai back home, but a little bit of innocent flirting wasn't nothing.

Leaning against the wall with the most aloof demeanor he could muster, he fixed a cool look onto his face, "Hey, I'm Asuma Sarutobi, leader of the squad sent to assist Kakashi's team. Could you help me with something really quick?" He asked as he brought his cigarette back to his lips.

He paused on that action due to one main reason. The knife that was previously being used to innocently chop some nutritious veggies was currently flying directly towards his head. Once the instrument of meal preparation Embedded itself in the wall beside his cheek, Asuma stared at the blade owlishly, with Naruto and Shikamaru mimicking his actions, before slowly turning to look at the knife thrower.

Her serene smile threw the trio off completely.

"Ninja-san, there is absolutely no smoking in this house. Please go outside if you feel the need to do so."

Naruto watched the exchange between the two before pointing at the beautiful woman, "You could've just said that instead of trying to lobotomize him. Plus, you don't use utensils that touch the food for any other purposes than the food related ones." It was common kitchen knowledge. Such poor etiquette was just bad in Naruto's eyes.

Still not changing her calm facade, Tsunami merely reached into a drawer and produced another knife, "It was just to make sure that you know I mean business. Now then, what was it that you needed help with, ninja-san?"

Asuma blinked owlishly, "Yeah... never mind. Just point me in the direction of the other grown ninja in the house." He said dejectedly, deciding that he didn't want to get stabbed to death with kitchen utensils today. He pointed around at the kids occupying the kitchen, "Oh yeah, and these are my students. Well, two of them. The third one is harassing the Uchiha on Kakashi's team somewhere in the house."

"Sasuke-kun, did you miss me?"

"No. Get off of me, damn it!"

"You can't separate true love, baby!"

Holding back a few chuckles, the Sarutobi cut his eyes back to the two genin standing beside him before pointing at each of them again, "The blond spaz is Naruto,"

"I prefer the term energetic enigma." Said spaz informed with a raised finger.

"And the pineapple headed one is Shikamaru. He can do crossword puzzles and solve Rubik's cubes if you need help."

Shrugging his shoulders, Shikamaru just sighed, "Ignore the bearded guy trying to sell me off please. Can you point me to the direction of any sleeping area?" He asked as he sat down in a chair he pulled from under the table beside him.

"Now why would you want to sleep so soon? You just got here." A chipper voice nonchalantly stated from the hallway, the sound of crutches accompanying it. Eventually the voice was revealed to belong to Kakashi, who hobbled his way into the kitchen.

He spared everyone there a look that gave off the impression of him smiling due to the muscles around his visible indicating such, "Asuma and pals, how nice of you to join us. Now it's a party."

Said newcomer for the party took stock of his comrade's appearance, spying subtle signs of exhaustion here and there about his person, "Damn Kakashi, was it that bad to the point that you needed crutches to get around?" That was more of a rhetorical question than anything. Kakashi was up there in terms of skill in the shinobi world, but it wasn't that farfetched of an idea for him to be a little messed up from his previous hardships with the swordsmen.

"Oh you know, just a couple of guys doing what guys do in our little loving hell hole of a world."

Tsunami held a tentative gaze on her fair skinned visage, "And that is?"

"Fighting tooth and nail to see the other one as a fresh corpse. Or not even leave a trace of them at all. If only Sasuke was more skilled, he probably could've incinerated one of them when they weren't looking..." The scarecrow mused, confirming a thought that Tsunami had floating around in her head for now.

Ninjas were batshit insane.

No sane grown man could converse about trying to murder other people with such a casual detachment. It just wasn't normal! Granted, they were on her father's side, and by proxy their family's side, but there was still something unsettling about their devil may care attitude about fighting and death.

Then there was the fact that there were children involved in this situation as well. Tsunami wasn't some shinobi expert, nor did she even have the slightest idea of what goes on in a ninja village, but she was absolutely certain that these kids and her son had very different upbringings. If they were out here on a mission, they'd have to have some form of experience. It only made sense.

She idly wondered if these three new kids have ever killed anyone before. Shuddering at the thought of children being cold blooded killers, she chose to address the cyclops with the crutches, "Kakashi-san, glad to see that you're up now! Do you need anything right now?"

Kakashi shook his head before tilting it in Asuma's direction, "Nope, that won't be necessary. What I do need to do is talk to him about... ninja related stuff." With that said, the cyclops left the kitchen with Asuma in tow, venturing upstairs so that they could talk strategy.

This left Naruto, Shikamaru, and Tsunami in the kitchen, with an awkward silence eventually settling in. Naruto was the first to break the silence however, and nudged Shikamaru with his leg, "Well, I'm going to go find somewhere to train. Let everybody know that I'll be in the woods somewhere." He informed the Nara as he slipped down the hallway.

Shikamaru shrugged yet again before placing his head down on the table, only to shoot up from his seat the moment he heard Naruto shout in surprise. Mind already racing, he dashed into the hallway to see what all the commotion was about. He fought the urge to drop his jaw at the sight of Sasuke holding a sleeping Ino in his arms, smiling warmly as if every single dream he held came true. An obviously scared, young boy in dark blue overalls with dark hair held a camera up in front of the unexpected phenomenon, snapping a myriad of pictures at Sasuke's behest, "Keep snapping! I need proof so when forehead sees us, she'll give up!" Okay, that explains everything.

Question is, how in the hell did Sasuke allow himself to get his body snatched like that?

Naruto stared at the spectacle for a couple more seconds, standing there with his hands cupping his face as he appeared to be contemplating something. Eventually he tapped the miniature photographer on his shoulder, a mischievous glint shining through in his eyes "Hey kid, are you going to have copies of those?"

The child in question nodded as he continued to record some good old quality blackmail content.

Rubbing his hands sinisterly, Naruto cackled in glee as he advanced towards the door, "Excellent. Save me some, would you? The blackmail potential I sense in this situation is so high that it shouldn't be legal." Not that legality really mattered to shinobi, but that's beside the point.

Swinging the door open to leave the house, Naruto was met with the sight of a older, tanned man that reeked of some potentially cheap liquor, Kiba and Akamaru, and a puzzled Sakura. They were all carrying groceries, and the oldest there addressed the strange blond boy in his house, "Uhh, who are you?"

Pointing a confident thumb at himself, Naruto fixed a confident grin onto his face, "Naruto Uzumaki, future Snake Hunter at your service. No, scratch that. Call me Hebi no Sukāji (The Serpent's Scourge)." Hot damn, that sounded badass.

"I'm too drunk for all of this, so I'm going inside with the food. Bodyguard kids, bring those groceries inside." The man stated with a noticeable slur in his speech pattern, sidestepping the weird looking kid in the doorway. He couldn't lie, even in his drunken haze, he knew a cool epithet when he heard one, but he wasn't in the right mindset to give the kid his props.

Kiba followed their client into the house, snickering at Naruto's lame attempt at trying to hype himself up.

Why would he even give himself a dumb name like that? They were shinobi, not pest control.

Naruto shrugged and moved past everyone, sparing Kiba and Sakura head nods of acknowledgment, "Hey guys, we're here to make sure that you guys don't fuck up." Good old Naruto. Straight to the point no matter how blunt it is.

He dodged a punch aimed directly at his temple from Sakura, who obviously didn't appreciate his heckling, "Shut it, you ass!" Why did they have to send him of all people? Wait, if they sent Naruto's team, that could only mean one thing...

The sudden snapping of Sakura's head in the direction of the hallway alarmed Kiba and Tazuna, the deadly stare present on her face filling them both with a sense of fear.

They could have sworn that the air itself cracked due the sheer speed of the whip like motion that Sakura's head performed.

"I swear to Kami, she better not have her little piggy hands on my Sasuke-kun." Her empty tone chilled the air around everyone as she entered the house, hell bent on keeping what was yet to be here hers, hers.

Naruto hopped away, not wanting to be a part of the oncoming carnage at the moment. He knew a shit storm was coming, so it was best that he got out of dodge before everything hit the fan.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

Aaaaand it already started.

X.X.X

(Elsewhere on Nami no Kuni, Later That Night)

The sound of two mammoth swords clashing off of each other resonated within Haku as she observed the ongoing spar.

Each swing of the legendary blades held purpose.

Each movement was not wasted.

Each combatant held stern looks on their faces as they chipped away at each other's defenses, trying to find a way to score a decisive blow to end the match.

They were both having a great time as well. Nothing like sparring with an old comrade to get the blood flowing.

Sliding backwards from their latest clash of blades, Jinpachi wore a smirk on his bearded face as he took a couple of deep breaths. They'd been going back and forth for almost two hours, and it was an excellent method of staying on their toes and keeping them from being sloppy. Their recent encounter with the Copy Ninja didn't exactly sit well with either of them despite the fact that they came out on top.

Even though they held the numerical advantage, things weren't that cut and dry. Providing evidence that his moniker wasn't just for show, that man almost singlehandedly killed both of them at least twice during their battle. It was an intense encounter, with Kakashi using his vast collection of jutsu to stay alive and protect his rugrats and client.

One of them would get the upper hand on the man, only for them to be duped by some kind of diversion or trap. He even used that cheap pink eye technique otherwise known as the Sharingan to catch Zabuza in a genjutsu, tricking him into believing that Jinpachi was Kakashi instead.

Needless to say, Jinpachi had a feeling that Zabuza was really into this fight, trying to extract his pound of flesh from the swordsmen as compensation for being put through a tree or several. He always knew how to hold a grudge, that Zabuza.

Shaking himself and settling back into his stance, Jinpachi flashed a battle hungry smile at his fellow swordsman, "Brings back memories, doesn't it Zabuza?"

Zabuza snorted, inwardly agreeing with that statement as he readied his weapon for another pulse pounding encounter, "I can't lie, it does..."

The air went still. Zabuza faded from view, the slight amount of grass and dust kicking up providing the only amount of evidence that the man even moved in the first place.

Jinpachi expertly ducked the swing that was meant to take him out right then and there before spinning around, attempting to bisect Zabuza.

Damn Zabuza and his skills with sneaking up on people. Despite his gigantic ass sword that was obviously meant for combat, it was a well known fact within their circle back in the day that Zabuza was the one that always resorted to sneaking around in one on one showdowns. It wasn't due to him being adverse to trading blows with anyone, because that was far from the truth. No, it was merely due to the fact that his blade just wasn't able to stack up to certain blades in prolonged clashes. Mainly Jinpachi's sword and to a lesser extent, the Kiba swords.

Shibuki could just have a field day with bombarding him with all kinds of explosives.

Kiba conducted lightning, which was Zabuza's glaring weakness to due to his potent water affinity.

Zabuza snorted at the swift counterattack. That would've instantly taken out a lesser shinobi, but Zabuza wasn't well known for nothing. Leaping over the deadly blade, he aimed a stiff kick at Jinpachi's maw, finding purchase and satisfaction at the sound of foot to mouth contact.

Jinpachi went towards the ground, rolling along with the blow to return to his feet quicker. He instantly spun around once he got onto his feet to deflect the horizontal slash sent towards his back. Deflecting the blow, he rushed forward slightly to remove Zabuza's advantage in the fight.

Being in super close prevented Zabuza from having the range advantage, an advantage that he gladly abused the shit out of. Well, that had to end now. Jinpachi drove a savage knee into Zabuza's sternum, surprising the taller shinobi. It didn't surprise him enough to prevent him from leaping back, swinging Kubikiribocho at his temporary adversary. He clicked his teeth in minor annoyance when Jinpachi leaned back and avoided the tip of the weapon by the skin of his teeth, flashing a cocky grin in Zabuza's direction.

Not waiting for Zabuza to touch down, Jinpachi sped towards his airborne foe, a roll of explosive tags accompanying him, "Time to crank it up a notch!" He roared viciously, directing a swing of the demolition specialist's wet dream at Zabuza.

The airborne Momochi twisted himself with all the energy he could muster in order to shield his vulnerable body from the oncoming attack. The blade bounced off of his, but he was instantly reminded of the explosive capabilities the sword possessed the moment a tag attached itself onto his sword. Eyes widening in shock, he made a split second decision before throwing his steel baby at Jinpachi.

He wasn't fast enough to completely avoid taking any damage from the following explosion, but he was quick enough to not get caught at ground zero.

Well, air zero, since he's in mid air still, but that's for nitpicky people who have nothing better to do than take everything literally.

Crossing his arms up in front of his face, Zabuza was sent careening away from Jinpachi, his body smacking directly into a sturdy tree. He fought a cry of pain away when a chipped part of his precious sword flew directly into his forearm, embedding itself deeply into his arm. The shit stung, but he could worry about his wounds later. He still had a perfectly working set of legs, and he needed to retreat for now.

That was the plan until he registered the feeling of cold steel pressed against his Adam's apple, a smug Jinpachi standing over him with the broken Kubikiribocho in his other hand. Smiling victoriously, he chuckled down at his defeated comrade, "I say we go ahead and call this a win for me. I got you dead to rights as of now, Zabuza. Plus, despite the good old days where we didn't stop until someone was bleeding profusely and unconscious, maiming you wouldn't be beneficial to us at the moment." They needed to be on their game for when they ran into the Copy Ninja again. Chopping Zabuza into nice little swordsman cutlets wasn't a good game plan with fighting Kakashi in mind.

He really wanted to though, and not even out of malice or dislike for Zabuza or anything. Out of all the swordsmen, he got along with Zabuza probably the most due to their similar natures.

Both were highly professional and downright deadly in their respective fields of expertise.

Both weren't bloodthirsty and battle hungry ALL the time, unlike the common misconception of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist would lead one to believe, only being that way when necessary.

Both, as of now, were rogues without a home.

He really wanted to just for nostalgia's sake. They all used to chop each other up back in the day...

Haku materialized beside her master, a slight defensive posture about her person catching Jinpachi's attention. He found it adorable that Zabuza had such a loyal follower, and appreciated the potential that the girl had. Quick, agile, and amazing stealth capabilities.

Dare he say it, she could even surpass Zabuza as an assassin one day. The fact that he hasn't seen her use a jutsu yet threw him off slightly, but he just chalked it up to her being a hardcore shinobi and knowing the game well enough.

Never give away what you can do, because you never know who's watching and using that information to plot against you.

Zabuza raised the arm with the piece of bloody shrapnel in it to get Haku to relax, the moonlight from the open nighttime sky reflecting off of the stained steel, "Calm down Haku, he was offering me a surrender. Which is surprising, but I'll take that over being dead any day." He grunted as he picked himself off of the ground, letting his impaled arm hang limply. The sight of the injured arm immediately sent Haku into medic mode, with her grabbing a hold of the punctured appendage, "Is that a shard of Kubikiribocho in your arm? I have to get the fragment out in order to stop the bleeding, Zabuza-sama." She professionally stated as she prepped herself for some impromptu healing. She was far from a professional medic nin, only really knowing how to keep Zabuza from bleeding out and treat various wounds with ointments, but it was enough to get them by.

Zabuza kept his arm away from her though, "No Haku, don't do any of that until you have the proper ingredients for those healing creams you make. Go off and fetch everything you need once the sun comes up, I'll be alright for now." He's dealt with far worse than this, so he really wasn't lying or trying to comfort her.

Jinpachi chuckled at his partner's wound as he handed him the remaining portion of Kubikiribocho, "Zabu's tough enough, he'll survive for the night. Sorry about the blade, got carried away with the explosive tags again." That happened so frequently he might as well stop apologizing for it.

The taller of the two grunted as he took the blade, frowning at the damage. Those damn tags cracked the blade clean in half! Shit, now he'd have to go hunting or slaughter some bums or something. Pretty much anything that bleeds was on the chopping block for him since he needed the sword to fix itself.

Despite what the rest of the swordsmen used to say, Zabuza thought his sword was arguably the most efficient when it came to killing. So what if the blade got chipped or broken off? All he needed to do was let a small amount of blood come in contact with the weapon and it would be brand new.

If everyone else's blade got broken, they were shit out of luck...

They were probably already dead since it takes some real upper echelon shit to completely break a legendary blade like theirs.

Haku's worried eyes lingered on her master's wound for a couple of more moments before sighing in resignation, "If that is what you wish, Zabuza-sama."

Jinpachi looked back and forth between the two as Zabuza motioned for Haku to leave, "I gotta ask, how'd you get somebody so loyal to you like that? She treats everything you say like it's a direct order from Kami herself..."

Zabuza shook his head, chuckling at his question. It wasn't a far off comparison, and that's why he regarded Haku so highly. She was completely subservient to him, and him only. He took her in, trained her, molded her into the kunoichi she was today.

Despite the somewhat innocent line of questioning from Jinpachi, Zabuza knew a fish for information when he heard one. It was no secret to Zabuza that Jinpachi was trying to learn as much as he could about Haku. Why, Zabuza didn't have the slightest clue. But whatever the reason, it didn't bode well. He's noticed the subtle looks Jinpachi sent her way, the lingering gazes.

The one thing that Jinpachi could absolutely not know about is Haku's bloodline. Part of the reason why Zabuza left Kiri, other than the obvious reasons, is that Yagura developed the bright idea of using the swordsmen as his personal attack force against the bloodline users. Half of them were on board, such as Jinpachi and Kisame, while others like Zabuza weren't exactly too thrilled with the constant warfare. He always wondered if nobody ever considered the fact that Kiri was essentially destroying itself from the inside with all of those bloodline purges.

Why would we focus on working alongside our own shinobi who could make a difference in the world when we can just kill them instead because they have different abilities?

Stupid, just stupid.

Zabuza was shaken out of his inner musings by Jinpachi getting his attention in the most asshole way possible.

By slapping him on his fresh, open wound. Maybe he should just gut the dickhead right then and there, "Give me one solid reason why I shouldn't bifurcate you."

"Because you love me and cherish the time we spend together?"

The remaining portion of Kubikiribocho found itself pressed against the bearded swordsman's abdomen, causing him to nervously chuckle, "Oi, come on Zabuza! You wouldn't hurt me like that, would you? We're comrades..."

"I butchered my graduating class in the academy when I was a boy." Zabuza dryly deadpanned, slowly pushing the blade further into his stomach.

"Oh yeah, fuck..."

X.X.X.

(Omake: Storytelling With Swords Vol 1)

"I SWEAR TO KAMI I'LL SODOMIZE YOU WITH THIS KIBA IF YOU TRY TO TAKE MY PANTIES AGAIN!"

Zabuza fought back a laugh as he and Kisame stood outside of Ameyuri's apartment. The early morning sounds of Kushimaru annoying their female teammate were a frequent occurrence whenever the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist were about to set out on an assignment. The thick, trademark mist floated aimlessly around the village, coating everyone out and about with a thin layer of moisture.

Kisame, dressed in a sleeveless black shirt, black shinobi pants and sandals, and the Kiri flak jacket, laughed as he playfully elbowed Zabuza in the side, "Heheh, think she'll go through with that threat?"

"You know, I honestly don't know. She usually just zaps his ass into submission before punt kicking him somewhere. Maybe she'll switch it up this time..." Zabuza mused, ignoring the flashes of lighting that were originating from a window above them.

"First time for everything." Kisame chuckled, slightly tilting his head at the sound of glass shattering above them. The two ground level shinobi were awarded the sight of their teammate Kushimaru diving onto the road, rolling out of the dive professionally, before turning around to produce a pair of pink panties with little blue lightning designs on them.

He celebrated the capture of his new trophy with a braggadocious dance, complete with hysterical laughter and him pointing excitedly at the window, "I got em! Nice lace panties you have here!" He gloated as he stretched the undergarments out for everyone to see.

He leapt to the side quickly once an extremely potent bolt of yellow lightning rocketed from the window that he previously escaped from. A highly agitated Ameyuri poked her upper body out of the window, shark like teeth bared, "You know you're paying for my window again, you ass! This is the third fucking time this week you've done this!" Why couldn't Zabuza or Kisame or Jinpachi or pretty much any of the other swordsmen come collect her when it was go time?

They always sent the perverted man child up to get her, and it never went well for anyone involved. Mainly for her, since Kushimaru seemed to make it into a game to constantly harass her, especially in the form of taking her undergarments and parading them around.

They were still getting over the Panty Raid incident, where she became the laughing stock of the fucking village due to Kushimaru, draped in multiple sets of panties, bras, and lingerie, completing five laps around the village with Ameyuri in hot pursuit.

He also had the criminal mindset to plan ahead and hide a majority of her clothes as well, forcing her to borrow Jinpachi's long shirt so that she could chase after the idiot in an attempt to mutilate him.

She couldn't stand his ass.

Still dancing around in the street, Kushimaru ignored the completely justified feminine rage emanating from his female teammate, opting to instead tap a random civilian that wasn't important on the shoulder, "Hey, you wanna see what kind of panties that the only female swordsman wears?"

"You're a dead man!"

"I love you too!" He cackled as he presented the genital holders to the interested bystander.

Kisame looked back and forth between the two warring warriors before flashing a grin at Zabuza, "Never a dull day with these two, huh Zabu?"

CRACK!

A bolt of lightning actually managed to strike Kushimaru down this time, while avoiding the civilian beside him. The masked pervert laid there a smoldering, twitching mess.

Kisame raised an eyebrow at Kushimaru still proudly displaying the panties. Had to give him points, that was one dedicated son of a bitch.

Weakly waving the pink fabric back and forth, Kushimaru managed to wheeze out a victory statement, "It was soooo worth it."

Two feet landed harshly in front of him.

Two razor sharp ends of identical swords that were absolutely overdoing it in terms of lightning production pointed directly at his masked visage.

"I was completely serious about my threat. Too bad that you don't have a pillow to bite, cause I'm going in dry."

Zabuza and Kisame looked away as the screams of a victim filled their bodies with an uneasy feeling.

Zabuza shook his head as the duo began to walk away from the future crime scene, "You were absolutely right. Never a dull day at all."

X.X.X

It's time for the Wave arc guys.

Ap Calc might as well be considered a lethal weapon in the United States man, it's killing my drive in school.

But enough about me, just be ready for the next chapter when it comes out folks.

Read and review, ask me stuff that I can answer, and tell all your friends. Oh yeah, I appreciate those four dudes who added me to those communities. And I got my first guest hate reviews, so I'm excited.

But yeah, until next time peeps. SPVNK out.