Hey: Sorry that it is taking me forever the update this story, I have been busy. So, I made this chapter longer then the rest, to make up for the delay :). I want to thank those who reviewed, so please keep reviewing. Ideas are welcome for this story; lord knows I can use some right now hehe. Okay I'll shut up now, ENJOY!!!!!!! :D
Warning: Mild Swearing
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After two hours of watching television, Kuwabara became bored. Looking at the clock which read 7:30, he sighs wonder how the evening is going for Yusuke, Kurama, Keiko and the other girl. He felt a tug on his heart when he thought about the two couples, he missed Yukina.
There was never a day where he didn't think of the ice koorime (a/n not sure I spelled this word right), her smile, the way she looks at him when injured or sad; or her light green hair and shining red eyes which reminded him of Hiei's.
He still felt stupid when he didn't put two and two together, the way everyone had acted at the dark tournament when they talk about Yukina and her long lost brother, (like they were hiding something).
He was angry with the thought that he was the last to find out about the relationship between the moody fire demon and sweet ice koorime; so opposite of each other yet so the same. He wished every night that she was there with him, he would be a fool to deny the fact that he was jealous of Yusuke and Keiko's relationship.
Though he never shows it, it hurts him every time Urameshi makes a crack at his relationship status or teases him about not being able to find anyone (like he did the other day). He did find someone, someone who he wants to spend the rest of his life with but couldn't due to the fact that she was in the demon world (her home with her clan).
He also thought about his sister and how much he misses her bashing yet caring attitude towards him. It was right at that moment when he realized how alone he felt, sure he had Yusuke and the said teens mom but that was not enough, he wanted his family; a family containing his sister and his distant girlfriend, Yukina.
The orange hair human was too absorbed into his thoughts he didn't hear the footsteps walking towards him. Hiei raised an eyebrow at the human sitting before him, annoyed that the idiot didn't sense him, I could've run around naked and he wouldn't notice. The demon grimace at that thought, shuddering in the process.
Shaking his head an annoyance, he put his hand on the human's shoulder and shook it.
Feeling himself being shaken, Kazuma broke out of his thoughts and looked up into a pair of concern red eyes. Seeing that he had gotten the idiot's attention, Hiei stood back "you know if a killer had entered your apartment, you would've been dead instantly….baka."
The carrot top smiled sheepishly at him, "uh yea you do have a point." Shrugging his shoulders, the fire demon took a seat in the recliner across from Kuwabara and began to study the human before him. Something is off about the idiot, I know he is careless but. The two occupants were silent, till Kuwabara decided to break it.
"Hiei, he whispered." The said demon grunted letting the human know he has his attention, Kuwabara continued "I know this may sound personal but how did you ever cope with being alone, back when you were….well you know." "A killer, an assassin, a cold hearted and shallow bastard," Hiei listed.
"Hn what about it?" Hiei did not like where this conversation was going but had a feeling that it was important to Kazuma and decided to go along with it damn fox was right, I had gone soft.
The human hesitated before he continued, "now don't be mad or anything but how did you cope with…..being alone? Hiei was shocked at the question, what the hell brought this on he thought.
"Why do you want to know human" the demon asked in a defensive tone. Kuwabara knew he was walking on traitorous waters but he had to know.
He knew well enough that Hiei was the type who won't answer a question unless one has given him a reason too. It felt weird being open with the fire demon, sure the two weren't as close in the past, but maybe after tonight that would change, "maybe" being the operative word.
"The reason why I ask is because I guess I have been feeling lonely lately and was wondering how to cope with it."
Silence was the response he had gotten until a deep voice spoke up, "what brought this on Kuwabara?" the demon asked. The said human was shock, it was not often the demon had called him by his name; it was either idiot, dumb ass, or some incoherent word.
The human sighs, "I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past two years and I guess ever since the departure of my sister and….he hesitated for a second, Yukina, I have been feeling at odds with myself." "I mean sure I had Yusuke, his mom, and Keiko, but I feel like that is not enough…I feel like I have this big gap within me and I don't know how to fill it."
"Sounds pretty lame huh" Kazuma stated sheepishly as he looked at his companion who had an unreadable expression on his face. Hiei shrugged his shoulders, "you want me to comment on that" he asked. Kuwabara chuckled at that, "please don't." "Then don't ask questions that are stupid" the fire demon retorted.
"You know I am not an open person, idiot, but all I can tell you is that it's complicated but you have to go on and find the strength to look for whatever it is you want to find."
Take Yukina for example, sure she was alone when she was searching for me but she didn't give up, even when that bastard had kidnapped her." Hiei turn his hands into fist as he remember the incident of his sister being kidnapped so her tear gems could be sold in the black market.
He continued though, "there was only one way for me to cope with being lonely, it was hardening my heart and killing anything that stood in my way." "However, that had started to change when I first met Kurama, who was at the time and still is today among others, someone I could consider a friend; never once had he made me doubt his friendship since he never had given me a reason too...until now" he whispered quietly to himself.
The demon began to smile despite himself, "Hn then I met you and Yusuke; at first I didn't trust and like either of you but after the whole killing the seven saint beast mission, I felt myself changing more; "I felt myself changing from someone who doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself to someone who cares for those he considers his friends; people to fight for, to protect."
" I hated it at first, thinking that it made me weak but over the years I began to realized that maybe that change was not so bad, thanks to Yusuke who had shown me over and over again that having something or someone to protect, does make you stronger."
Kazuma was silent after hearing Hiei's confession, repeating what the demon shared over and over in his head. Hiei scowled to himself stupid, annoying, cunning fox.
"Kazuma" the demon began. The said boy turn his attention to the voice, "I know you care deeply for my sister and that the feeling is neutral, but you shouldn't hold yourself back; knowing Yukina she wouldn't want you to be depress but would want you to go on and find what makes you happy like finding someone else to love."
"I know I had given you a hard time in the past, but you have proven to me time and time again that you are strong and I know that you have the strength inside you to find what you are looking for."
Hiei stood up as he proceeded towards the window, he stopped in mid-step as he turn to look at the human over his shoulders, "speak one word of what had just taken place…." Hiei left the rest of the threat unspoken since he knows Kuwabara understood.
Giving his old teammate a small smile, he vanished. Kuwabara looked to the spot where the proud fire demon had stood and smiled, thanks Hiei, don't worry no one will know.
