What was I doing? My fist makes contact with the door shortly after she leaves. Anger swelling like a balloon about to pop. I pull a chair away from a small table in the room and hurl it against the wall. Feelings. No wonder I'm such an outcast, I never showed any feelings until she passed. Was her sacrifice a way of releasing my feelings? If so, it worked and I didn't like them. The emotions that are begging to be released. They're prying their way out of me.

I have known no other way than to do as instructed, do what is natural to me. And that has always been to fight. I have saved countless lives, species, and worlds. So much of me has been lost along the way but I have gained so much. Now what I have been deprived of is being given to me at last... some sense of happiness and peace. Do I deserve it? Should I accept it? I am a soldier, a warrior. Once seen as humanity's last hope. What am I now?

I decide to calm down. Think. Think about me. Then think of her. Of Sarah. I...I enjoyed the touch, the sense of want. I will sit and ponder my thoughts. Sleep is unnecessary now.