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Chapter eight!
Margate POV
I dance in my room as all the lavished things surround me. Henry had insisted on me staying in my old room he gifted to me soon after our engagement. I could tell the moment I saw him Jane was gone from his mind, heart completely. Now he only has eyes for me. I should feel wonderful to be able to play with his emotions so easily the way he did mine but I feel conflicted, do I deny his advances towards me or do I forgive?
'I am the king of England I could never just be yours' I remember he told me that after I had caught him with Seymour but has that changed could he be all mine? My movements become faster, rushed as I dance. Every touch every kiss Henry and I have ever shared ran through my head electrifying my body as the memory of his hands on my waist, lips upon my lips, sweet spoken words lingering in my ears it shattered my soul for all these feeling to be only a memory. I damned myself as I so realized coming back to court made me feel so wonderful when I was in Henry presence and so cold as I am now away from his lustful stare.
I thought I've grown thought I have out grown my childish heart but it seems coming back to court has sent me back to my younger more vulnerable days. I stop my dance feeling dizzy all these thoughts of my future and the past leave my heart beating fast. I sit at the foot of my bed rubbing my forehead whipping away sweat from my brow. Only Henry could make me feel so tore inside.
"My lady?" Suzanna knocked and walked in my room.
I smile to her. I had my heartfelt hello's with everyone last night, I was happy to hear my father would allow Suzanna to continue to be my hand maid, being a girl of fine things however, I also kept Francesca my personally maid I acquired in France. The dear girl has grown on me and I am so thankful for her to teach me French but I had known Suzanna for most my life and she will always come first.
"Yes?" I look up to her.
"Are you ready to be dressed the party is only a few short hours away" She tells me.
"Yes" I nod.
I hold the bed pole as she tightens my corset the dress I wish to wear requires a thinner waist.
"Tighter" I command Suzanna.
"My lady that is much to tight already" she tells me.
"Tighter, I must look perfect tonight!" I command harsher. "Now!"
After that was done I change my nude stocking with light pink ones attaching them with my white garters I then allow them to put on my under skirt to puff the dress out and now my wine pink color outer skirt is tied and buttoned in to place the sweet silk cascading down so beautifully, then my bodice the same wine pink color low on the bust making a sweetheart neck line the sleeves stop at my elbows the trimming of the dress a deep wine color laced around the whole dress. The dressed paired with a sliver necklace with dozens of white jewels stringing down, matching ear bobs and tiara, My hair tousled down curling perfectly.
"Beautiful" Suzanna tells me.
"I would agree" I laugh spinning in my dress.
I place my hand in my stomach catching my breath with all these emotions, stress, love, hate and to tight of a corset its leaving me lightheaded. Shaking it off I make my way through the many halls I found I knew like the back of my hand still. Entering the ball room I stood amazed as the girls and boys danced to the lovely music the sent of flowers danced around the room with the sounds of laughs and lovers words. I saw Henry sitting on his throne laughing talking to his oldest child, Mary. I made no contact more then a glance catching his eye I move through the crowd finding myself next to a few ladies I knew. As they talked and talked for what seems like forever I see Henry shifting in his set eyes staring at me begging for me. I smile it always feels good to be wanted. I made my way around the room mingling and dancing with a few men I found myself to be enjoying my time but my mind always wondered back to Henry stealing glances to him every now and again.
"Princess Mary" I greeted her.
"Lady Margaret" the princess greets me.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" I ask.
"Yes" she said simple not fooling me.
"What is wrong?" I ask. "You have my pure confidence, what troubles you?"
She still has no words but I pay attention to all the places her eyes go, to a dancing pair, two lovers talking and the pretty men alone in the room.
"Are you alone tonight?" I sigh.
As I continue to search the room I find my eyes fixed on a older man looking at the princess, I was amazed by his stare his eyes reflects the flames that surround him in this room but tell a story of fire within him. An admirer.
"Is it that obvious?" Mary asks voice shaky.
I giggle the poor girl is so worried she much to pretty to be and much to young.
"Do not worry princess" I smile to her. "Your father will make you a match"
She has such a sweet face I only hope Henry will make a good one most men I this world don't understand love only deep like and I would hate for her to be in a loveless marriage just for the sake of being in a marriage.
"Who is that man?" I ask referring to the older gentlemen.
"Ambassador Eustace Chapuys" she tells me.
"He looks sweet" I tell her trying to understand her feeling for him.
"He is a dear friend" she seemed defensive I doubt she knew that though.
"I want us to be friends!" I tell her. "Dearest of friends!" I pled and grab her hand with a questioning grin if she wants the same.
"Yes well I see no reason why we could not be friends" her voice dry.
She pats my hand giving me a warning smile I feel our roles has reversed I munched wanted to play the mother and now It seems I am the child. I cared not that she was older then I, I have always wish to mother over this girl since the day I thought of her, her and Elizabeth and now Edward.
"Thank you" I curtsy and walked away.
So much has happen this past year and a half, I thought I would be sitting next to Henry calling Mary my own and now I beg for friend ship beg to be in Henry house. I make me way through the happy people finding the door leading to an empty hallway. I rest my head back on the wall one more second in that room and I would have surely past out. I place my hands on the wall pushing off of it I walk to the other side of the room pushing with the last bit of strength I had to open the window. Letting the fresh air hit my face and enter my lungs all the word seems to slow down finally giving me a moment to live without stress.
"I've missed you!" A low husky voice said.
I recognized the voice instantly, Henry. As he spoke his hands grab my waist making me jump and all that clarity I had just found lost.
"You've taunted me all night" he roared in my ear lowly.
As he whisper one hand traveled from my waist up my curves finding my breast everywhere his hand touched left behind hot pleasure.
"Henry" I begged.
I moan softly as he tightens his grip on me.
"Stop" I moaned.
I don't blame him for continuing even to me my protest sounded more like a beg to continue. As he hisses hateful lust in my ears the my world began spinning again leaving me more lightheaded then before. His hands tighten on my waist squeezing my lungs not allowing any air in for me to breath. I desperately wanted to protest but could not find any straight to deny him physically or emotionally. He arms grabbed me hard turning me to face him I batter my eyes trying to keep my sight focused I couldn't hear one thought passing in my head couldn't feel anything but the burning pain in my lungs and the burning passion in my heart.
I grasp as Henry tossed me to the wall beside the window pinning me there with his hard body. I wrap my hands around his neck using the wall and his body to keep me on my feet. One hand held my neck as the other explored the top half of my body he dragged my head up allowing him to be able to kiss me. Only once has Henry ever been so rough and I never told him but I enjoyed it so and again I enjoy it even though I feel my lungs burning needing air. With my head still dizzy and breath hard to catch I respond to his lips crashing down in mine.
I pulled him by his short hair as he tried to catch his breath making him only able to get a half jagged breath in till I forced him back to kiss me. Still he has one hand on my neck making any air I may have been able to breath impossible to and the other tangled in my hair. Again Henry tried to catch his breath but I denied him the chance. I wanted to cry my lungs were on fire but I don't care all that matters is Henry, my Henry. I scream shortly releasing the last bit of air I had left in my body as Henry pulled my hair my head hit the wall hard but not causing any real pain but a headache. I pout as he takes ragged breathes in and out I try to do the same but found I could only gasp for air lightly not drawing any attention.
"Damn girl let me breath" he roar in raspy breaths.
Again I try to breath more then shallow breaths still unable to the pain in my lungs will not disappear. Damn corset! I moan as his lips are so close to mine I need him.
He relaxed for a bit still breathing I grunt softly as my body hurts I rub my forehead trying to shake away this fogginess. My hand drops beside me it was to heavy to hold up again I batter my eyes trying to keep aware of my surroundings. Henry places his forehead on mine his hot breaths hitting my face I close my eyes trying to shoo all this pain away. He lifts his head from mine lifting my chin with his index finger I fight to open my eyes I win barely and look to him.
"I love you, Margaret"
That was the last straw I tried to breath but no air filled my lungs seconds haven't even passed since he said that but I feel like years have. I gasp trying to take breaths of air loudly and failing. My eyes sight loses again and this time for good all the pain in my lungs all the fire trying to make me close my eyes gone all that was left was black.
...
HENRY POV
I paced the room as Charles talked about matters of the land. How am I to act properly in this state of mind?! Not but hours ago Margaret passed out in my arms she was as light as a child in my arms. Charles continued his infernal talking he must stop! I slam my hands down on the table and look to him rage consuming me.
"I can take no more!" I shout. "I do not care right now! Leave me and come later when I call upon you!"
"This must be dealt with!" He protests.
I sigh rubbing my forehead, only this child could have me in knots on the inside leaving my head a mess unable to rule my England.
"Then I leave you to deal with it" I sigh. "Now leave me" I command.
He did as I asked. I sat but could not take sitting still so I rose to my feet heart pounding. Quickly I leave the room heading to Margaret's chambers, I arrived not waiting to knock and be allowed in I open the doors fast a maid jumped I rush through the sitting room to the bedroom I stop dead in my tracks as I saw her sitting in her bed innocent eyes opened wide And she is yawning. I rush to her bed side feeling relieved.
"You are awake!" I sit beside her grabbing her hand in mine.
"Yes" she laughed.
"Are you alright my dear?" I ask.
I pull a lose curl from her face sweeping it the side with the rest of her hair.
"Yes I am, thank you for your concern" she smiled red flushing over her cheeks.
"Are you ill?"
"No, no I was just out of breath"
"I have forgotten how delegate you are I am sorry"
She pats my hand smiling sweetly to me.
"It is my fault I should have listen to Suzanna" she looked to her maid as she said that it sound like an apology.
I narrow my eyes to her not understand what she meant as I waited an explanation.
"My corset was tied much to tight" she confessed.
Silly girls with there clothes. I laugh as a brighter shade of red takes her cheeks at that confession. I sigh a relax knowing now my rose is fine.
"You should not scare your king so" I played but also meant what I said.
"I am sorry how many times must I say it!" She pouted.
I chuckle again. Margaret my rose brings me to my knees and I hate it her pain takes me to a depth I wish not know for another yet I can not seem to leave her again. I had only admitted to why I let this rose go twice to myself but perhaps it is time to rid myself of lies and be truthful I do not know how I will go another day without her.
"I must confess to you something I tried hard to even keep from myself" I tell her.
I sigh as she nods her cat eyes widened.
"I've claimed love to many but only felt it for few and even thous loves faded. My first wife I never loved only married for my father, Anne however, I do think I loved her"
It has been years since I have thought of Anne it still brings sorrow to my soul.
"But who she became I hated and my love was lost, Jane" I shook my head knowing that is the last woman Margaret wants to hear about.
"Go on" she begged.
"I love my son, Jane was kind and giving as Katharine was but there was no challenge no passion... No love" I confess.
Tears welled in her beautiful eyes making me weak.
"You though you Margaret my rose you I loved deeply I love passionately and for that you..." I sigh deeply before continuing. "... You frighten me for all the things you could make me do for all I would risk for you that is why I pushed you away the only way I knew how"
I waited for a reply but she gave none just look to me eyes watering but no sobs escape her pouted lips.
"Forgive me" I beg. "Befire I was only thinking of England but I can no longer think of anything but my happiness" I confess. "Marry me?"
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