/Sawyer POV/

Two days pass. I try to block most everyone out. Succeeding a lot of the time. Everyone is excited the New Year parties that they are invited to or throwing. Logan is taking me go to Carlos' against my will. Something about how I need avoid becoming a recluse and that it will be good for me to see everyone; which probably will come down to me sitting in the corner with an iPod and A Walk To Remember. Not that I am that much of an introvert, but I won't know anyone there; aside from James, Carlos, Kendall, and Alexa.

Jamie and Landon occupy mind right now. Rereading A Walk To Remember and The Notebook are monthly activities for me. Not that I'm waiting around for Noah or Landon, I know love does not happen like in the stories. It's quite clear. Though, the idea that so much love and devotion can be anchored to one person; no matter what they do or where they go, someone is still waiting to love them. Noah waited seven years. Landon never moved on. Could anyone ever love me like that? I'm not saying that it will, but also not saying that it won't. What is a girl without her hope?

I turn on my back.

Is there someone out there waiting and wondering what it's like to love me? What if my significant other is wondering where I am? Wait. What if I don't have a significant other? Will I be an old lady who only has her cats to keep her company?

"Are you getting dressed or what?" Logan knocks at my door, pulling me away from my thoughts. My eyes shift over to the door.

"Yes."

"Can you put a little pep in your step?"

"Sure thing."

"Bip bip bip." His fingers snap and I shut my book, getting up. Wearing leather jeans, floral print shirt, and converses; I grab my purse and trudge down the steps. Logan provides a mean look in my direction.

"Try to smile."

"I don't feel well."

"I'm sorry but this will make you feel better. You can dance and talk to people."

It's not even a depression thing; I don't feel sad or mad, just nauseated. Slightly irritated, but I can get over it. He's been looking forward to this; I do not what to ruin it.

Work life is feeling the way high school did, just trying to get through the day so that I can go home and forget. Bex is my only work friend, well the only one who still sees me as me. Erica still talks to me as well. Which is shocking because her twin brother is Cyrus's best friend. He's getting all the pitying attention. Thankfully, he no longer is a problem of mine. The only reason he occupies any space of my mind is because I have to carry around his abandoned child. At times, I find myself in a fit of anger, resenting the little one, then I break down because it's not his or her fault. Apparently, Logan told Mom about my decision. She actually called me, didn't have much to say though.

Carlos' house has cars lined in the driveway and down the street.

Joy.

Logan parks and we get out, then walk to the thumping house. I acquire Lo's hoodie and since the air is so crisp, it feels nice.

"We're gonna have fun, right?" Logan nudges me with his elbow.

"I'm gonna try."

"Yes. You will have an amazing time." The door is already open, so we walk in. People line and fill each room. He has no problem talking and locating his friends, but I meander farther.

"Sawyer! Oh there you are, Babe!" I look up to see Kendall approaching me, leaving the girl behind him with a scowl. The look on his face explains that he is getting hit on and needs an escape.

"Aye, Buu!" I throw my arms up around his neck to pull him close. A little warm kiss is planted on my cheek. We take a moment to exchange a silent 'Thank You' and 'You're Welcome'.

"So, Honey, how about that dance?" He pulls me by the hand, passing too many people until we find ourselves in the living room. Logan, James, and whoever Logan is dancing with are here too.

"Follow me." Kendall winks and hops up on the coffee table, but I lock my feet on the ground. Having no part of this, he reaches down, pulling me up by my arms.

"Baby, when they look up at the sky, we'll be shooting stars just passing by."

He spins me around. I smile.

"You'll be coming home with me tonight. We'll be burning up like neon lights."

He gives me a signal to spin on my own. I know there is no getting out of this. His eyebrow raises as he waits for me to complete his request. Instead of waiting, he hops to the beat. His hands wraps around either side of my waist, and I have to hop to keep up with him.

- "Let's escape into the music. DJ, let it play. I just can't refuse it. Love the way you do this. Keep on rockin to it. Please, don't stop the-. Please, don't stop the music."

- "We've come too far to give up who we are. So, lets raise the bar and our cups to the stars."

- "So, wake me up when it's all over. When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost."

- "I wanna thrill you like Michael! I wanna kiss you like Prince! Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye, like Hathaway!"

- "So, you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? 'Cause, I'm coming at you like a dark horse."

- "I know don't about you, but I'm feeling 22. Every thing will be alright if you keep me next to you."

- "Hey! I just met you and this is crazy! But, here's my number! So, call me maybe?!"

- "And, we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign. I don't if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it."

- "Every single night we fight to get a little high on life! To get a little something right, something real. At least we try time after time."

- "I wanna rock with you, all night. Dance you into the sunlight."

- "You have taken over my days, so tonight I'm going out."

I let go.

Logan whoops at us and James joins us. This much attention has me blushing and we have too much fun to notice. I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't even notice if the house were to fall in around us.

The bass of the song is thumping everything, the speakers visibly vibrating; then you have Kendall, James, and I hopping on the coffee table, performing a mini concert. If you qualify screaming lyrics at each other a concert.

"I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone. I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn! I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs. I crashed my car into the bridge. I don't care! I love it! I don't care!" Everyone is having a great time. James currently has my attention, spinning me around.

I can tell you what we do not love; the moment the coffee table breaks apart underneath us. I land on top of the two boys. Uncontrollable laughter is heard everywhere. The table in pieces around us. Choruses of laughter ring everywhere, even from me. Well, that is until my throat began to burn with acid.

Oh no. I try to push off the guys' chests, Alexa is reaching down to help us up; I take her arm and pull up to launch off to the bathroom. People. People everywhere. It's so packed, can't find my way.

A door opens, thankfully, to the bathroom. I make a mad dash, forcefully slamming the door shut. No need to account for the actions that happen behind the door, it's not pretty. In no way do I ever want to relive those 15 minutes.

"Sawyer?" The knock is barely heard.

"Yeah?" I stand by the sink and rinse out my mouth.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

"I brought you water." James peeks through the door. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Did you get hurt?"

"No. No. I'm fine. Did you?"

"No. Are you sure? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, James. I said that everything is fine."

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Thank you. Some fresh air might be what's needed." I run a hand through my hair, taking the water bottle. It's funny how just a while ago, I was jumping and dancing with everyone, but now just seeing them is making me feel ill. I exit the house, followed by James. We take a seat on the front steps.

"You looked pretty great in there, Thea." I smile and lay my head against his shoulder. He likes calling me that nickname derived from my middle name, Theophilia. The breeze sweeping around our bodies and cooling our sweat.

"Thanks, Jamie." He lays his head on mine. Slowly and comfortably, we breathe together. That's it. We just breathe. No words needed or wanted. The music flowing from every crevice and open space of the house is more than enough.

"No! I saw you! And, guess what?! It's over, Kendall!" Destiny bustles by me; I scoot over to avoid being trampled on. His traveling, punk rocker girlfriend stopped by town today.

"Destiny! Stop. Please." Kendall now darts past James and I.

"No!"

"I was blindfolded! It was a game!"

"You shouldn't have agreed to play!"

"I'm sorry, you're right." He pulls her arm to turn her around. She glares at him, but he just kisses her. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to play a game where I could potentially kiss someone else. It was stupid. I will never do that again. She wasn't even that good. I definitely enjoy kissing you more. Forgive me, Baby?" He pleads.

Her lips purse in a pout.

"Yes."

"Thank you." Kendall leans to kiss her again and she kisses back. The two lovers whisper apologies to each other briefly. James and I look at each other, trying to not laugh, to digest what just happened. He has moved over to rest his back against the handrail and motions for me to join. I lay my back against his shoulder. This should feel wrong, but it doesn't. There doesn't seem to be any harm or bad warning signals. He talks, but I don't pay much attention, too focused on his breathing chest against my back. Is it bad that I really just want to stay like this? Is he trying to just be a good friend or in his own trying to say he might want to be more? But, why would he? I'm really not 'there' for another relationship.

The house quiets down to start the countdown.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

"Seven!"

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"ONE!"

James softly tilts my head back by placing his finger under my chin. It happens so swiftly. My neck rests on his shoulder as he places his lips on mine and I receive them with a pounding heart. My lips greet his softly as his graze mine.

Chapter Song: Do It All Again - Big Time Rush/ Emblem3 (It's a mix between both versions.)