Update: Hello! I am sure everyone hates me for taking almost five years for an update. Truth is, the idea of reuniting Shawn/Angela terrified me. But with the new show on its way... I want to finish it before that. I always liked this story. I had an easier time writing in character because I watched the show more often back then so please let me know if I go too unreasonably OOC. I know Eric seems OOC but he has grown/matured. He was always my favorite character and I wanted to develop him. I always felt that Eric's relationship with Tommy pulled out a lot of his character and it was disappointing how little it developed.
Also sorry for the massive monologue. :3 Got to get the story out and this seemed best.
Anyway. Let me know!
xxx
The new Verizon phone that Cory had convinced Eric to buy was what woke Eric up. He was about to shut it off, thankful that Josh had decided to sleep at home that night when he noticed it was Shawn.
Groaning and sitting up in bed, Eric answered, "What are you doing, man? It's still 3am here. Have you left?"
"Hey Eric. Yeah, I know. I'm in the same timezone. The thing is, I have been at the airport since last night"
"So take a taxi," he tried to hit the end button and missed, still being able to hear Shawn's voice.
"No! Eric. I don't know where you live and-"
"I'll give you the address. It's 3am! Unlike you, my sleeping patterns are in this timezone"
"Eric! Listen to me man. I can't do this. You need to pick me up"
The silence strained Shawn's ears. Eric had to do this.
"Fine. I'll be there in 30 minutes. But be outside by then"
Click.
Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. There was no way that he could focus on anything right now. Something living inside of him knew that Angela was in the same state and it was destroying him. Not to mention seeing Cory and Topanga again when the last time he had seen them, he was drunk and angry. Regret bled through him at those memories. His whole life he had done well. One stint in his teenage years but compared to most people, he had been anything but an alcoholic. But trying to live without Angela as he watched his two best friends in love. Impossible was a word that the Matthews had tried to hard to convince Shawn was never an option. But impossible it was.
As he looked down at his hands, he tried to focus simply on the lines in his hands. One thing Shawn had struggled with more than most guys his age was that he thought too much. He spoke too little and thought too much. If he were being fair, the only person who may have thought more than him was Angela. And maybe that was part of why he fell in love. She was someone who made him feel normal and alive. When he was with her, he could think and it didn't hurt so much.
Girls had always been an escape from his thoughts about his own life. But now he spent his days in the arms of women trying to escape the thought of just one. Just one person. It was not fair.
So he watched his hands and before he knew it, his phone was ringing.
"Where are you?"
"Almost outside, I swear," Shawn muttered into the phone as he grabbed his backpack - it was all he brought, all he needed - and went outside.
xxx
The car ride was long and uncomfortable because Eric was pissed and Shawn was nervous. But when they pulled up to the strange condo duplex that felt so foreign to Shawn, Eric didn't move.
So Shawn started to open the door.
"Not yet," Eric said, his eyes still staring forward and hands on the wheel.
Unsure what to do, Shawn put his hands in his lap and looked down at them again. They never changed. Or at least not really. The silence that had been most of the car ride (after Eric had shortly asked how the flight was and Shawn responded 'fine') was back and stronger than ever without an excuse to be in here.
"Ok, here is how it goes," Eric finally made eye contact with Shawn for the first time tonight. Shocked took over when Shawn realized the seriousness in Eric's normally light and happy eyes, "No one gets to sleep under my roof unless I get what I need answered. Got it?"
Shawn nodded. Where was this going? And what happened to all the jokes? Maybe he shouldn't have come home. What if everyone changed this much?
"You need to tell me what happened. I know what Topanga and Cory told me when you left. But you need to tell me everything. I always gave you that. You never had to explain yourself. We just talked and joked about life. You don't need to tell everyone though I am sure Cory will ask right away-"
A knowing smile slipped onto Shawn's face.
"- but you gave me your phone number. You chose me to keep in contact with. And you need to tell someone. Do you understand?"
Again a nod from Shawn. Though Eric's method surprised him, the request was expected.
"Want to walk and talk?" he suggested.
"It's like thirty degrees out and you don't have a jacket on".
Shawn shrugged.
"Fine. Here works. It just feels so..." Close? Personal? Dark? "Alright. Well. I gave you my phone number because I knew that you were the one person I could trust to never look for me. Cory and Topanga worry so much but I could take care of myself. You knew that. We were never close and you never liked me but you knew that I would be OK," he looked over to see Eric nodding his head, "So I took off. Jack would worry too. 'We're blood,' he'd say. But we were apart for what, seventeen years? I figured a few more wouldn't hurt too much.
"So I left to Europe. All the booze money I had left I went and bought a one-way plane ticket. Lived on the streets for a couple weeks and hardly was able to pay off that phone. But I knew that you'd contact me if someone important happened. Like Cory and Topanga having their little girl. Or someone dying-" his voice choked and he kept his eyes on his hands, "Well yeah. I started off in Portugal. Stayed where I could. Picked up random jobs. Moved through Spain," he glanced up when he noticed a movement on Eric's part. But Eric's face was blank, simply taking in Shawn's story so he continued, "into France. I told myself that I was just moving along but I was always hoping to somehow run into Angela. I would stop at a little cafe and glance in, hoping to see her dark skin and hair. She would be sitting at one of the tables, just drinking coffee and having a normal day. Until she saw me. But I never did. I had her phone number, you know that? But I was so afraid to dial it. So I never did.
"I went into Switzerland for awhile but found my way back to France. It felt more right to be an outsider and was easier to pick up quick jobs that had no commitment. And so many women only knew bits of English that it made it easier to break things off with them. I never found anyone worth keeping in my life for more than two weeks. Some great women. But never her. Never Angela. I looked into every coffeeshop. Just in case. But I had enough money to get a little apartment in the lower part of France and stayed there mostly, taking the trains when I could. That's about it"
Shawn was out of breath. He had not spoken so much in years. It was not that he refused to tell his story to anyone... it was only that there was no one worth it to share it with. His life, his past, had been a secret. He was just a silly American man with a broken heart to most women he formed any bond with and just a silly American man to the rest of the people he knew. But over the years, not having friends began to hurt. He would call Eric more often with nothing to say and the two would sit in silence before Eric had to go and awkwardly hung up.
"Time for sleep," Eric opened his own door and glanced at Shawn's backpack. "Is that seriously all you brought?"
