March 1918

Things had gotten worse. After that first horrible nightmare - or was "episode" a better word? - I continued having them several times a night. And the suffering wasn't just at night anymore, either. During the daytime I had this strange feeling. I felt like something big was coming, but I couldn't tell what it was. It was a mindless, nameless, intense sensation.

I saw myself going to the hospital. That was the only thing that was certain. No matter what I did I would end up going to that hospital. It was like the decision wasn't up to me, even though Mother and Father assured me it was. They promised that if I didn't want to go I didn't have to.

But, when I woke that morning after the nightmare it was already firmly established. It wasn't up to me anymore. I doubted it ever really had been. So I had to agree to go. It was the only way to maintain any semblance of control. If I refused, then someone or something would force me, and that was not the kind of situation I wanted to be in.

It was as though I was running full tilt down a very steep hill. Waiting for me at the bottom of the hill was a cliff. I couldn't stop or slow down or I'd lose control and start falling. So the only option I had was to run headlong down the hill until I ended up jumping off the cliff. I only hoped it was a short drop.

I couldn't see what would happen at the hospital. I couldn't really even get a good look at the building. I could only tell it was a large imposing structure. It frightened me.

And I certainly couldn't tell what would go on there. Not even enough to be sure if going there would be a good thing or a bad thing. I had two hypotheses about why my extra sense was blinded after my arrival at the hospital

My first hypothesis was that once I got there the treatments would work. If the treatments worked I would stop seeing the future. So maybe that was why I couldn't see anymore after that. My second hypothesis - the one that seemed to make better logical sense - was that I would die at the hospital shortly after arriving, so I didn't have a future to see anymore after that.

I had to admit that either eventuality was frightening to me. Dee had been right. I didn't really want to be normal. I liked being able to sense what was coming. Now that it was possibly going to be taken from me, I knew that I didn't want that at all.

But I had no choice. I had to agree to go. If I didn't I would be taken as a prisoner.

I had been packing my luggage in silence while Dee sat on my bed, crying.

I was trying to not think about what I was doing. Trying to ignore how much this was hurting my sister. Trying not to think about what might happen to me. As a distraction I checked on the weather, wanting to know at least something about what the day would bring. I saw a vision of the sun coming out later. That would be nice. Maybe it would help my family feel a little better. I tried to see what would happen on my journey to the hospital and suddenly everything went blank.

I couldn't see it, not at all. It was worse than my previous, vague visions of the hospital. It was like the vision simply didn't exist.

I went back to checking the weather and that was perfectly clear: the sun breaking through the clouds and streaming in through our front window. It was just my own future that had suddenly vanished. I tried to put it out of my mind and concentrate on packing. But I couldn't help wondering what it meant.

Dee continued crying, as I finished filling my bag. Luckily, she hadn't noticed my sudden distraction.

"You know I'll come back as soon as I can," I assured her.

"I'm afraid, Alice. I don't trust that doctor. What if they hurt you?" she sniffled.

"You never even met the doctor, Dee. How can you not trust him?" She needed close proximity to use her gift on a person. So even though she saw the doctor in Mother and Father's past, she couldn't see the doctor's past unless she was in the room with him.

She glared at me. "I just don't. It's too dangerous, I don't think you should go."

I sighed. Time to reveal a little more truth.

"I don't think I really have a choice anymore, Dee," I told her softly. "I would rather not go. But if I don't agree to, I will anyway. Someone will make me."

Her eyes got wider as I spoke.

"What? Mother and Father wouldn't make you if you didn't want to go!"

I shrugged. "Maybe not. But someone will. And I'd rather go of my own free will than be dragged there against it."

"Alice! Don't you see? This just proves that it is dangerous! Why would they force you to go there if their intentions are good?"

"It doesn't make any difference. My options are the same. Go against my will or go willingly. I think it's better to go willingly, that way maybe I still have some control of the situation."

Her eyes got panicky. "We should run! Let's just get out of here. You already have a bag packed. I'll put some of my things in there, too, and we can sneak out."

I thought about that for a minute. Dee saw that I was concentrating and gave me time to really look into it. I concentrated hard. It was vague and uncertain but I could see it. For a moment I was relieved that I could still see my future, it was just the trip to the hospital I couldn't see. Then I focused on what this new vision showed me. It wasn't promising. I was pretty sure we didn't have a good future on the run. We wouldn't have access to food. We'd need a place to sleep. We would be desperate after a while, willing to do anything to have our basic needs met.

That wouldn't work. I couldn't let something like that happen to Dee. But maybe on my own...I looked into that. If I ditched Dee and ran away by myself...it wouldn't be much different. And eventually something would happen. I would be captured and forced to go...to the hospital.

I sighed. "It won't work, Dee. Someone will find us and I'll be taken there anyway. And I also don't like what I see happening to you. You stay here with Mother and Father. I can handle myself. If I have to, I'll just pretend that the treatment worked. If I'm normal then they'll have no reason to keep me, right?"

Dee just looked at me with a tortured expression. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her lower lip quivered. I embraced her, kissing her hair, and she burst into sobs again.

"It'll be okay," I assured her. "You worry too much."

"Stop trying to pretend like this is no big deal, Alice." she sniffed. Her anger wasn't very impressive when she was crying. "Promise me!"

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you'll come home. I want to know that you see it, for sure!"

I had to stop myself from grimacing at the request.

"I don't know exactly when I'll be back. Things are a little...unsure right now. But I told you I would come home as soon as I am able to. I promise that."

Dee looked suspicious of my response, but just then we heard a knock at the door and I knew it was time. I kissed Dee on the cheek and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Come on," I told her. "It's time for me to go."

She shook her head, looking away.

"I'll be down in a minute," she whispered.

I hesitated, but decided to give her a moment. I locked my trunk and lugged it downstairs. Dee stayed in my room, probably trying to compose herself before coming down for goodbyes.

"Here, let me grab that for you," Father said when he saw me struggling with my luggage. "Mary, this is Mr. Dwight. He's here to escort you to the hospital."

Father gestured to a young man standing just inside the door. I gasped when I saw him. His shoulder-length hair was wavy and jet-black. His eyes were dark and brooding. He was standing very still in a pose that seemed rather uninterested, bored even, but something about him seemed threatening to me. He was also extremely handsome. Probably the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. Still, I felt so intimidated by him I couldn't bring myself to look directly into his face. None of this was the reason I'd gasped when I saw him, though. I gasped because when I looked at him, it was like looking into a void. I felt off balance. I couldn't see. Suddenly, standing in this room with a stranger, I couldn't feel my extra sense at all.

A mere second had passed. Father was still reaching to take my trunk from me.

"Alaric Dwight," the strange man introduced himself. "I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Brandon." His voice was rich and smooth. But he didn't really seem pleased to meet me at all. If anything, it seemed that he was enduring some sort of unpleasant chore by coming here. The sound of his deep voice sent a small shiver down my spine.

Automatically, I reached my hand out to shake his. But instead of taking my hand he reached for my trunk.

"Allow me," he murmured. He took the trunk from Father, lifting it with ease in one hand though I'd barely been able to manage it with two. He moved with unexpected grace out the door leaving me alone with my parents.

The moment he left I felt more normal, not completely, but a little better. Like my extra sense was beginning to return. I was still stunned from the experience. It probably showed on my face.

"Don't worry," Father assured me. "We'll come by to visit you soon. And you can write letters and tell us everything that happens."

"Oh, Mary!" Mother cried. She caught me up in a strong embrace. "It won't be the same around here without you."

She released me and looked around, curiously. "Where's Cynthia?"

Just then we heard the creak of the stairs as Dee came to join us. Her face was dry, but her eyes were red and swollen from crying. I felt myself choke up. I hated what this was doing to her.

She saw me standing by the open door without my trunk and ran to me, hugging me tightly.

"Please, Alice?" she whispered in my ear. "Please stay."

"I can't, Dee," I whispered back. "You know I would if I could. I'll come home as soon as I can. I promise."

She let me go then and I saw fresh tears on her cheeks. I brushed them away.

"I'll miss you," I told her.

"I'll miss you, too."

"If you're ready, Miss Brandon..." I jumped a little when the voice startled me from behind.

"I'm sorry..." he said more softly. "The automobile is ready. We can be on our way." I couldn't be sure, because I couldn't really look him in the eye, but I thought Mr. Dwight looked a little anxious. It could have just been me projecting my feelings onto him, though. The strange sensation of looking into a void was back.

I gazed longingly at my family again. Mother and Father looked sad. So did Dee, but she also looked perplexed. She was gazing at Mr. Dwight with a puzzled expression. Huh, maybe she couldn't see him either? How curious.

I told them all goodbye one last time and walked out into the muted light of the cloudy day with Mr. Dwight. The last thing I saw before getting in the car was the three of them standing in the doorway, looking as wretched as I felt as they watched me leave. Mr. Dwight closed the door after me.