Author Note: Maybe he deserved it…maybe not….

Chapter 08 – Ninja Assassins

Jackie was excited – she finally got a telephone. It may not have seemed like such a big thing to the ordinary person but living without one for three years made it a luxury.

Her first phone call was to Madison.

"Donna! It's Jackie!"

"Hey midget. You're not calling me collect. This is a surprise."

"Hey, how's Randy?"

"Well, we're getting married next year." Both girls squealed simultaneously, "and I would like you to be a bridesmaid. I kinda had to ask Randy's only sister to be my maid-of-honor."

"That's okay. Let me help you pick out your dress when you go shopping. You still have no sense of style you lumberjack."

Donna laughed into the receiver. "Yes pipsqueak. So what are you doing lately?"

"Well, I'm working undercover in Red Forman's garage."

Donna sputtered, "You're what?"

"Donna, you know I like cars better than people – you fix em up and they do what they're supposed to do. Cars don't have drama but I have an alias I work under and it's a success!"

"Well, I'm going to assume you're making a lot of money or you wouldn't be doing it."

"You got that right sister! Oh, and I dress as a princess on Saturdays and read at the library to the little kids."

"Now that sounds more like the Jackie I know."

"And I live an in an RV outside the shop."

"Jackie this book just keeps getting better and better. So have you seen any of the guys yet? Is Kelso still trying to be a police officer?"

"No, I haven't actually seen any of them, thank god. I did talk to Brooke, she and Betsy are moving to Kenosha. The guys are still dorks and I can't have them messing up my job. I'm so close to buying my own shop. I invested all my money in that securities firm Randy recommended and in a couple of months, I think I can apply for my license."

"Jackie, if you can get an "all girl" anything going on in Point Place, I will personally drive down and be your first customer!"

Jackie laughed. "I'm holding you to that promise. Gotta go Donna! I'll talk you to again!

*

Eric was determined to find out more of this Princess Bee that had his students so excited. He waited outside of Fez's apartment – what was taking that foreigner so long to get ready! Fez finally emerged wearing a red cape and a plastic sword encased around his waist.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?"

Fez threw the cape over one shoulder. "I am a prince. Princess Bee will see my fine body and fall in love with me."

Eric scoffed. "Yeah- right - I'm just trying to get her to read for my class."

They got to the library in plenty of time but Fez's sword wouldn't go through the turnstile. Finally the librarian came over, "I'm sorry but weapons are not allowed in the public library. Give it to me and you may pick it up when you leave."

Eric was sandwiched between Fez and a taller man when he saw Princess Bee walking through the crowd of children. Shit! Fez finally got his sword unstuck and handed it to the librarian. Now they were once again delegated to seats in the back.

Fez was once again enraptured in the Wilbur chapter and listened spellbound as Princess Bee spun the story for the little children. Eric knew when the story was nearing the end and he squeezed his way towards the dressing room. He was going to solve this mystery once and for all. When the librarian wasn't looking, he snuck into the dressing room and waited.

*

Jackie touched her wand to several small shoulders as she whisked her way back to the dressing room. These little children made her feel good about volunteering. She waved at Ms Bailey and as soon as she got in the dressing room, she kicked off the shoes and heard something. She caught a glimpse of something move in the floor length mirror.

Humming a tune like it nothing was out of the ordinary; she inched her way along the wall, reached around the mirror grabbed an arm and threw a body up against the wall. She brought up her knee and gave the stranger a good punt to the groin. When the pervert groaned and started sliding down the wall, she held him up with her arm. "So you like peeking at women while they're dressing… do you?"

She looked at the white face that was holding his groin with both hands. She hissed, "Eric Forman. God damn you!" She slapped a hand over his mouth, her eyes flashing angrily. "You say anything about seeing me and I will hurt you! Nod your head if you understand."

The sandy colored head nodded up and down. His green eyes were confused and then he recognized who Princess Bee was. She glared at him. "Don't even say my name. You just slink out of here and if I find out that you said anything, just remember, I know where you live. I know where you work and I know what car you drive."

Eric didn't think he could ever be more frightened of a girl that he was of an angry Jackie Burkhart! His family jewels felt like broken stones and the knot on the back of his head was throbbing. When she released his arm, he just collapsed on the floor.

She was tapping her foot. "What the hell are you still doing in here? Do you need your ass kicked too? Because believe me I can do it."

Eric held up a mercy hand. "Need-to-get-my-breath. You kick hard for a girl. Damn!"

Jackie sat on the small bench. A lot of her pent up frustration was released when she wailed on Eric. She sat down and pulled her feet up on to the bench under the dress. Eric rolled onto his side in the fetal position.

"Why have you been following me?"

"I didn't know it was you Jackie. I swear. My students told me about Princess Bee and I wanted to see what they were talking about. I thought maybe I could convince you to read for my third graders."

"Oh how sweet. Not! You don't fool me. Why did you have to bring Fez with you? Is he a third grader?"

"Fez came the second time because he wanted to find out what happens to Wilbur."

Jackie thought about this. "No kidding?"

Eric shook his head. "No, Fez never read the book. He feels like he's a Wilbur." Well, that was something she actually could believe. "Why don't you just get him a library card and check out the book."

"He likes the sound of your voice when you do the character. God, that hurts! This is why I never played on the football team!"

Jackie reached out a hand. "Come on, I'll pull you up."

Eric looked at the hand like it was a double edged sword. "Why, so you can throw me up against the ceiling you ninja assassin!"

Jackie started laughing. This was the Eric she remembered when he wasn't being an ass. "Just grab my hand."

Cautiously, he took her hand and she pulled him to a sitting position. "When did you get so freakishly strong?" He managed to sit on the bench beside her and dropped his head between his knees. That position felt immensely better.

"I guess you can say I work out often. Or maybe it's because you have spindly little arms."

"Oooh, Jackie type burns…don't make me laugh – it hurts!" he moaned. Jackie put her head back against the wall and laughed. "God Forman, if it had been anyone but you, there would be an ambulance here right now."

"Am I supposed to be thanking you?" his muffled voice said.

She was trying not to laugh. "Well, that would be a good place to start. But seriously, get out of here so I can change and do not tell anyone that you saw me. Are we clear?"

"Crystal. Just let me crawl before you stick your foot in my ass."

Jackie was laughing as Eric made his way to the door. Once he was out, she closed it behind him and changed back into her street clothes.

*

Fez saw Eric lying on the floor in agony. "Aiiy, Eric, what happened to you?"

Eric was scrambling for a response. "I thought that was the bathroom and I got jumped by some ninjas. They kicked my ass."

Fez shook his head. "That is so sad. Should I call the police?"

"NO! Just drive me home please. I need an ice pack."

Jackie was sitting in her truck just down the street from the Vista Cruiser and watched Fez help Eric get across the road. She was pretty sure he wasn't going to say anything now considering she injured his pride. Plus, what if Ms Bailey was in there changing clothes? He could be in jail right now! She did him a favor!

*

Eric groaned every time Fez hit a pothole. "Fez, drive around them, I'm suffering here."

"Eric, I don't understand, Ninja's don't kick a guy in his package. They go for the throat or knees. And why didn't I see them leave the room? I was right there!"

"They're ninja's – they're faster than the eye can see. That's how they got me! I don't think we should come back to the library on Saturday's."

"But how will I learn about Wilbur? Princess Bee tells the story so sweet - like candy words. You can stay away, but Fez will come back until the story is done.

Eric could only groan.