Disclaimer: JK Rowling has more writing talent in her pinkie toe than I do in my whole body.
Chapter 8: I Give James Girl Lessons
"All right, who's the greatest person you've ever met?"
"What?"
I closed the door to our dormitory. It was just after lunch, and me and James had a free period. Remus was in Arithmancy, Peter was in the Common Room, reading, and who the hell knew where Sirius was?
"Bridget! I talked to her today during Potions!"
"That's fantastic, Jake, did you say anything about me?" he asked, a look of hope on his face.
"Duh! I got her to reconsider you, you're halfway in!"
"Yes!" He jumped up, punched the air, and walked in a circle, thinking. "So - so what should I do? Do I ask her out?"
"Ew, no. You don't want to freak her out!" I answered, shaking my head.
"Right, right. Agh," he looked stressed out. Jeez, it was just one girl!
"Look, just have a casual conversation with her," I suggested.
"Yeah, good plan," he said distractedly.
"Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
James reddened.
"Well, I mean... I'm not that good at talking to girls!"
"Why? You're hot!"
"What?"
Those words did not just come out of my mouth. Nope. No sir.
By the look on James's face I'd say they did.
"Well - I mean - you're an appealing guy. Man. G - guyman," I stammered. "I'm thinking this through a girl's point of view to help you out, all right?"
"Whatever," James shook his head, "as long as it helps."
Whew.
"So, what are we supposed to talk about?" He asked, running his hand through his already untidy hair.
No, I did not imagine doing the same, how rude of you to suggest otherwise!
"Anything! Everything! If you guys have a good connection it'll just come to you, you know?"
He gave me a doubtful look.
"All right," I said in a bossy voice, "get up, we're trying this out."
"What?"
"Look, just... go with it, all right? You be you, just act natural. 'Cause," I changed my voice back to my normal high-pitched-girly-tone, "I'm Lily. Hi, James? Nice to meet you!"
"Holy shi-" he stumbled backwards against his bedpost, "Wha - ? Mate, you just really sounded like a girl for a second there!"
"I used to imitate Lily all the time," I lied, shrugging like it was no big deal, "I got really good at it. Now get up or else you'll never be able to talk to Bridget!" Oh no. How horrible.
God, where the hell were these thoughts coming from?
Lottie spiked my morning pumpkin juice. That was it.
It didn't even matter that she was a couple countries away. She could do it.
"Er.. all right," James said awkwardly. He stuck his hands into his pockets, looking around the room. "So, uh. What do we talk about?"
"I don't know, ask me if I like..." I wracked my brain, "cheese!" I smiled.
James snorted. "Um, okay. Do you like.. cheese?"
I gasped happily. "Why yes I do! My favorite's gouda!" and smiled sweetly.
James laughed, "I uh... I like Gouda too?"
"See?" I said, hitting his shoulder.
"See what?"
"We're flowing!"
"We're talkin' about - cheese!"
"So what?" I said, shrugging, "Flow is flow."
"Hah - yeah, I suppose... what? What's that?"
We both looked down and saw a large, hairy, eight legged beast (more commonly referred to as a tarantula, but don't bother me with your details right now) crawling over James's foot.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
"AAAAAHHHHHH!"
We both jumped onto James's bed, waving our hands and screaming at the top of our lungs, trying to get it to go away, but it just kept coming closer.
"IT'S GETTING CLOSER TO YOUR BED!"
"WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?"
"I DON'T KNOW - SQUISH IT!"
"WHY DON'T YOU?"
"YOU'RE THE GUY - UHH - BIGGER GUY, I'M SMALL AND WIMPY!"
"JUST SHUT UP, IT'S GETTING CLOSER!"
"JUMP ONTO SIRIUS'S BED!"
We both jumped away, and the spider came closer.
"WHAT DO WE DO?"
"REMUS! SIRIUS! PETER! SOMEONE COME IN HERE AND GET THE SPIDER!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
We were clinging to each other, me dry-sobbing into his chest. At one moment we both looked up and yelled in unison:
"ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!"
We would make excellent pirates.
The spider neared the door, and James courageously leaped off the bed, circling around and opening the door, keeping his feet at least five feet away from the spider at all times. It crawled out the door and he slammed it shut, then turned to me. I didn't know that many veins could stick out of someone's neck.
"DON'T YOU - EVER - DO THAT GIRL VOICE AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME? FUCKING CREEPY!"
"Sorry!" I said, cringing, "my bad!"
He shuddered and walked back to his bed.
It was only when I was doing the same that I remembered something very important that could've made this experience much better:
I was a freaking witch. With a wand and everything.
I could have just levitated the spider out of here or something.
Maybe I shouldn't mention this to James. I don't think that many veins popping out of one's neck is healthy.
It was Sunday morning.
The day the Beauxbatons team would be coming to Hogwarts to spend three weeks at the castle.
Then play the game.
Then afterwords go to a stupid dance that was supposed to create sportsmanship.
Hah! Yeah right.
But that makes me sound bitter.
Anyways, I was most excited about seeing my girls again. Austen be damned, he'll wait until the game, but I planned on seeing Claire, Meredith, and Kate as much as possible.
I definitely didn't expect to see Lottie coming out of the Hogsmeade carriages with them.
"WHAT!" I gasped. James, Sirius, and the rest of the team looked at me. They all had looks of fierce determination on their face. Like they were determined not to show any emotion.
Haha, I'm funny.
We were gathered just outside the school entrance, at the end of the path that the horseless carriages took. In fours and fives the Beauxbaton's Quidditch Team and Club came out of the carriages.
In the third one, Claire, Meredith, Kate, and yes, Lottie, all jumped out, laughing at a joke Meredith must have just told. They looked totally carefree, while the actual 'Team' was formed in a tight crowd, joining in the staring contest the Hogwarts Team had started.
I couldn't take my eyes off of my friends, though. It was almost surreal to see them. Sure, I saw Claire and Lottie just last week, but it was weird, like I was seeing them through guy's eyes.
Meredith was scanning our team, and caught my eye. She then whispered into Lottie's ear, pointing at me. Lottie followed her finger and saw me too, then smiled and nodded. Meredith nudged Kate and told her which one I was, and Kate (very helpful, Katey Kat, thank you) waved enthusiastically at me.
I smiled weakly and waved back.
"Now, I'm sure you are all wanting to... introduce yourselves," McGonagall said, eying both teams, wondering if this was such a great idea after all. Well of course it wasn't! There was so much tension in the air you could literally feel it on your skin. "So, let's start with the young ladies, shall we?" she said, gesturing to the Hogwarts Club. It was the first time I got a good look at which girls liked Quidditch enough to settle for a stupid club.
"Bailey Clarke," a dark-haired girl introduced herself. So this was Bill's mystery sister, the one Ryan planned to take to the dance!
"Harley Pensky," Harley said, waving and smiling, mostly at the Beauxbatons Club, who returned the greeting just as kindly. See? Girls get along much better.
Maybe it was because we were all united under the fact that our schools were sexist. But the details didn't matter.
Mikaela Smith, a small fourth-year looking girl, Jenna Dawes, a fifth year Ravenclaw with blonde hair, and Lauren Thompson, an apparent Slytherin, all introduced themselves next. No one else spoke up.
Was that really all the girls there were? Two Gryffindors, a Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin?
Although, looking at the Beauxbaton's Club, it looked like my friends were the only ones there too.
"I'm Claire Girard," Claire said, giving a small smile.
"Lottie O'Connor," Lottie said confidently. I still have no idea why she's here. I'll have to find out. I saw Sirius move out of the corner of my eye, and glanced over to see him cross his arms and give her an inquisitive smile.
"Hi, I'm Meredith Richards," Meredith said, her brownish-orange hair bouncing happily as she did.
"And I'm Kate Laurent," Kate smiled, waving to the Hogwarts girls.
And yet again, no one spoke up.
"Mr. Potter, if you would introduce yourself," McGonagall said tightly.
James shifted his weight, still keeping the steely look on his face.
"James Potter."
McGonagall sighed exasperatedly.
"I suppose that will do, Mr. Potter. Come now! The rest of you! These are our guests!"
"Sirius Black."
"Ryan Campbell."
The rest of the team went on to introduce themselves. I was last.
"Jake Cole," I muttered, not looking at them. A ripple of conversation went through the Beauxbaton's team, however.
"- didn't know Jake played Quidditch -"
"- when did he transfer here?"
"- heard a rumor he got spattegroit-"
"Mr. ..." McGonagall trailed off, looking at a piece of parchment she was holding. "Maynord," she finished. "Care to introduce yourself and your team?"
"Austen Maynord," he said, giving us an arrogant smirk. I saw Lottie and Claire roll their eyes behind his back. A couple of the guys on our team caught it and started laughing quietly.
The rest of the team introduced themselves, but I didn't pay much attention. If I heard their names I would recognize them, and I would feel guilty about smashing their faces in - I mean beating them in the Match.
That's what I meant.
McGonagall sighed and gave up, waving us off. The Beauxbaton's students would be staying in an empty-classroom-turned-dorm-room with three different rooms, enough beds for all of them, and three bathrooms for their convenience. The girls got one room, but there were only four of them so that made sense. Plus, I bet they preferred that since Claire, Lottie, Mer, and Kate lived with each other normally. Another plus, it would make it easier when I infiltrated their room later that night.
"What's the password?"
"Lottie O'Connor if you don't let me in right this moment I will hex your boobs off."
"Sheesh! Aren't we touchy tonight?"
But she opened the door and I quietly slipped into the room, and when she closed the door behind me I set up soundproof spells.
"LILY!" Kate squealed running over to give me a hug. Meredith followed suit while Lottie and Claire laughed behind them.
"Hey guys!" I laughed, hugging them back. Oh, how it felt wonderful to talk and act like a girl!
"How's Hogwarts?"
"Any cute boys?"
"How about living with any cute boys?"
"You made the starting team, right?"
"Are their beaters better than us?"
"Who was that black-haired guy to the right of you?"
"One at a time!" I commanded, "Kate, Hogwarts is all right. Not much different that Beauxbatons, actually. The food is really english, though. Mer, yes Holy Merlin yes there are plenty of cute boys. Living with them? They're total pigs. I haven't seen one of them make their bed yet. Yes, I made the starting team, but only because James gave me personal training all week. They're different. They go for more strength and speed than aim, but it works out all the same. And Lottie, his name is Sirius, why?"
"No reason," she said innocently.
Yeah right, no reason my a-
"So, are you going to get rid of the charms on your face or what? It's kinda starting to freak me out," Meredith said, her gaze flicking to different parts of my face which I suppose looked different.
"Oh! Yeah, I will. I figured we were having girl's night, so I packed a bag with my guy's uniform for tomorrow morning. One sec, lemme get rid of the sideburns," I said in a rush. I went into the bathroom and erased all of the charms from my face, magically lengthened my hair, and put my eyes back to their normal green.
"Better?" I asked, stepping out of the bathroom in a tank top and pajama shorts.
"Much!" Kate laughed.
We all sat in a circle and it was only when Lottie started to french braid my hair into pigtails that I remembered to ask her:
"What the hell are you doing here? You can't play Quidditch," I reminded her.
Lottie rolled her eyes. "Like I was going to miss this game. No, when I got wind that the Club would be accompanying the boy's to Hogwarts, I figured it was a perfect opportunity for me to join the Club."
"And since we were the only members, it was a unanimous yes on her application," Kate added, smiling mischievously. I laughed and bumped her with my shoulder.
"So, I heard Sean saying something about a carnival in our honor?" Claire asked, nibbling on a licorice wand (provided by moi).
"Oh, that," I laughed. "It technically isn't in your honor. It's to raise money so we can get new brooms. You guys were cut so the boy's team could get funded for new brooms, right?"
"Er... no," Claire said, frowning. "In case you hadn't noticed, Lily, but there are only four - well, three - of us who still wanted to play Quidditch. Why would they keep the girl's teams up if we don't even have enough players to fill one, much less four?"
Oh shit.
I never thought of it that way.
"Wait. So... the whole team doesn't have Nimbus 1500's?"
"No, that's ridiculous! They're incredibly expensive, why would the school buy them brooms?" Kate asked.
"Oh God," I muttered, slamming my forehead into my palm repeatedly.
"What happened?"
"I guess this was just a rumor then. But first Jake sends me a letter and then McGonagall talks to James, Sirius, and Remus, and both said that Beauxbaton's cut the girl's team to supply the Boy's team with new brooms so they would beat us!"
A short silence followed, until Lottie spoke up.
"Who's McGonagall?"
"Lottie," I said exasperatedly.
"What?" she retorted, "I just wanted to know."
"She's the deputy headmistress, head of Gryffindor house."
"Gryffindor? You named your house?"
"No, they all come with names. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff."
"Okay, what the hell is a Hufflepuff?" Kate asked, looking alarmed.
"I don't know, they were just the last names of the founders - but that doesn't matter now!" I added hastily, seeing Claire open her mouth, most likely about to ask about the founders, "What is going on with this brooms thing?"
"Well," Meredith began, "it looks like there was a rumor going around that Beauxbaton's is unfairly supplying their team with broomsticks, and you guys heard it. So this carnival is to raise money so your team can also get new broomsticks?"
"Looks like it, yeah," I said, "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Claire asked, "It's not as if any of us care! The only people who care about this game are the boys, just because they're stupid and way over competitive. Except for you, Austen deserves to be beaten therefore you have a rock-solid reason," she added hastily, seeing the look on my face.
"Thanks," I replied dryly.
"Look, let's just enjoy this carnival thing. What'll it have?" Lottie asked.
"Oh, you know, regular carnival stuff. Food, rides, games. Sirius pulled for a kissing booth, though," I rolled my eyes. The girls laughed.
"This boy sounds... interesting," Kate giggled.
"That's one way to describe him," I agreed.
"So the carnival is next weekend at your Hogsmeade place? Where we were last time?" Claire asked.
"Yep! James said there's going to be a path marking the way, though, since it isn't directly in the village."
"Sounds cool," Meredith said, "But who's James, you've mentioned him more than once now."
I sighed, "Oh, he's the captain of my team."
"Ooh, sounds like there's more there. Lilykins, do you fancy James, the captain of the Hogwarts Quidditch Team?" Lottie asked, winking.
"Wha - ? NO!" I exclaimed. "I do not like James Potter. I'm helping him get a girlfriend!"
"Is it you?"
"No."
"Well there's obviously a story. C'mon, Lily, tell us your dashing adventure with James!" Meredith prodded.
I sighed, "It's kind of long. And boring."
"Knowing you, it's probably neither. Story time!" Kate said, and lay down on her stomach, propping her elbows on her pillow.
I rolled my eyes.
"All right, so when I first got on the train, I met this girl named Bridget Perrotta..."
A/N: BLEGH, I HATED WRITING THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER! I'm horribly arachnophobic, I usually closed my eyes whenever the spider came into view in the movie. XD Having to picture the spider crawling... ew. Just. Ew.
Anyways: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS UP WITH ME AND THE FAST UPDATES? I'm not giving you guys enough time to review! (I'm kidding) I hope you guys enjoyed waiting mere hours for this!
TWENTY. THREE. ALERTS. FIVE REVIEWS. I updated at around 6 this afternoon. You have no idea how amazing that makes me feel.
And I wasn't even planning on writing this tonight! I was just up, waiting for midnight (and for the Magic Quill clue on Pottermore (; ) and decided: "Self, you know what you should do? You should write another chapter because it's so rare that you actually have this mindset, where all you want to do is write. So get to it!" And I did!
These Author's Notes are getting a bit ridiculous with their length. Oh well, it can be my thing, that makes me who I am, like Harry's lightning scar, what do you think?
Next time: The CARNIVAL! For those of you who have seen the movie, you know what that means for a certain red head and bespectacled Marauder... (;
Questions for the Reviewers:
Did you actually read all of this Author's Note? (; My creative juices aren't flowing at the moment.
As always, cookie for whoever finds the Starkid reference.
Until next time (this time it was definitely sooner than I expected!)
~Smile
P.S: Sellesia-Smile: I know, I know, I promised that I would make the next Starkid reference really hard to spot, but obviously this one wasn't. I just couldn't resist using that line!
