Summary: Baby Carrie Hardison figures out how to hack. "Sticky Little Fingers" 'verse.
AN: Like I said before, you can find the rest of the "Sticky Little Fingers" stories on my profile. This one doesn't really require you to read any of them, though.
H is for Hack
Grocery shopping is something that Eliot Spencer would never let Parker do by herself. After all, she has a family now – an annoying hacker of a husband and a little baby girl who is beautiful, adorable, amazing, wonderful, cute, and-
Anyway, a baby girl who has her Uncle Eliot wrapped (and tied up in knots with a padlock around the whole shebang) around her little finger.
So here he is, at the grocery store, shopping for the Hardison-Parker family because he can't trust either of them to buy anything other than junk food and liquid sugar. At least this time, Hardison is with him, with baby Carrie strapped to his front.
Actually, Eliot is starting to doubt whether it is in fact a good thing that Hardison is with him because he keeps throwing things into the cart that are completely unhealthy.
"Hardison!" he growls, throwing the sodium-and-fat-drenched bag of fried snacks back at the hacker, "You can't feed that to a baby! Are you outta your mind?"
"It's not for the baby, it's for Parker!" Hardison protests, throwing the bag back into the cart.
"And she's breast-feeding, so junk food and processed foods are out!" Eliot takes the bag and throws it over the shelf next into him in to the neighboring aisle.
"But she- " Hardison protests, before he's cut off by a very familiar sound coming from the store's speakers.
No, it's not the usual "Happy customers shop at [store name]" spiel, or tinny pop music, but something that sounds a lot like "Oo-wee-ooohh-weee-oooohhhh."
Hardison's eyes snap straight up to the store's ceiling in a really, quite stupid attempt to see where the sound's coming from. Because that music sounds a lot like…
"Hey, isn't that song from that freaky show you like with the weird aliens?" Eliot asks, with a scowl on his face.
"Doctor Who. It's called Doctor Who, Eliot," Hardison snaps, "And as awesome as it is, that just ain't normal," he says, pointing at the ceiling. He pulls out his phone to see if he can find who the hell hacked into a supermarket's sound system, and why.
What he finds is rather puzzling, since his phone tells him that the device that did the hacking is currently standing exactly where he is, but isn't his own phone.
"So?" Eliot says, eyebrow raised, "Just a stupid prank?"
"Mmm," Hardison hums, "Weird." He keeps tapping. "Says the phone's right here."
Eliot huffs, frustrated because grocery shopping has gotten interrupted by a hacking mystery. "Can you get more specific than that so I can punch their face in?"
"Uh, right here, as in right he- " Hardison trails off as he looks down into the baby sling strapped across his body and see something in it that shouldn't be.
Baby Carrie gurgles up at him with a pickpocketed phone in her tiny, baby-pudge hands and taps the screen.
"Take my love, take my land" fills the air.
Carrie giggles in glee and drools on Hardison's shirt.
"No way," he mutters, pride and horror swirling in his chest. Sure, he's damned proud of his daughter's pickpocketing and hacking skills (and taste in TV and music), but also terrified as to what the next eighteen years are going to be like.
"Dammit, Hardison! The hell're you two teachin' that kid?"
References:
"Oo-wee-ooohh-weee-oooohhhh." - That's what the theme song for Doctor Who sounds like. Just ask John Barrowman to sing it. (Youtube)
"Take my love, take my land"- Firefly theme song.
