AN: HAHA. I haven't updated in forever. Enjoy, talk to you at the end...~Aly
8. Tanaka is a superhero.
A long time ago, in a very British time period, lived a gray-haired old man, who fought crime and delivered happiness around England. This man was an inspiration to all; his mighty battle cry of "Ho, ho, ho" would send all of his four fangirls into fits of gasping seizures. Who is he, you ask? Santa Claus?
Very close. Santa is actually his long-lost step-brother, twice removed.
But alas, no. It is the fierce Tanaka, retired butler of the Phantomhive household, and keeper of peace throughout Victorian era London and a vacation home in Jamaica. Known by his superhero alias Super Tanaka, the senior searched for cuddles and sparkles throughout the universe as he faithfully served his earl Phantomhive.
This is his story.
Ciel was milling around the manor, bored. He was walking briskly past Sebastian when he smelt something horrible. "What the devil is that putrid-" The young master started to say before realizing the smell was coming from his butler himself. "Sebastian, you smell positively awful!"
Sebastian felt tears welling up in his abnormally crimson eyes. "I...do?"
"Yes!" Ciel wrinkled his nose. "When was the last time you've bathed?"
Sebastian blinked. "What is this 'bathing' you speak of, my lord?"
The blue-haired boy stared at him, putting his hands on his hips in his usual feminine way. "Don't be stupid. You bathe me everyday. It's when you wash, in a tub, with water, and a rubber ducky."
Sebastian smiled his famous pedo-smile. "Oh. I thought that was our 'sexy time', young master."
Ciel blushed. "Uh, yeah, but, yeah, and so...um, you need to take a bath, cuz you smell like crap..."
Ha ha. REJECTED!
The butler felt like bursting into sobs again. Hanging his head he stormed upstairs, screaming through his cries, "Well, maybe you should've just had an abortion, Ciel! Would that make you happy if I was never born?"
Ciel sighed, and snapped his fingers. Super Tanaka, in his bright pink speedo, appeared at once. "Tanaka. Bathe Sebastian. That's an order."
The old man nodded, with a quiet "Ho, ho, ho". Spinning around, he jumped into the air and literally flew up the grand stairs, yelling, "Super Tanaka, awaaaay!"
Ciel sighed, and skipped up to his room to watch Hannah Montana. What a raging heterosexual.
Meanwhile...
A few minutes later.
"Ah! The soap doesn't go there!"
"Ho, ho, ho..."
AN: So yeah, I've been busy - just auditioned for a musical ("13"). Wish me good luck! The cast list will be posted in a few days, so :3 Review, or I won't update again for another, like, two weeks, teehee. Send me your ideas. OH - and that abortion line thing was 100% from Family Guy. I stole it. Hrmfhmmrn. ~Aly
