Disclaimer: See last chapter
~ Chapter Seven ~
"Thin, thinner, thinnest."
Tawni had no idea when it had become a competition between herself and Sonny. She guessed it was sometime after prom night, before then it was just a diet to Sonny for some quick weight look but then something had taken over her and she just had to be thinner. And Tawni just needed someone to talk to, she needed someone to help make her thinner, she needed Sonny.
It was hard to explain for Tawni, but she needed Sonny because she was the one of the girls that Tawni had always longed to compete with – she always had. And Sonny took it just as serious as Tawni did. She was going to win though, Tawni could see that. She was the one who could fast, the one who would exercise non stop when she put her mind to it and she was the one who was all for control. Tawni was the one who couldn't go one day without any food but who also could not go one whole day without purging at least four times a day. Tawni was the weak one in her eyes, she was the one who was behind in the race they had created for themselves.
The two girls were similar in so many ways but so different at the same time. Different diseases, but still so similar in every single way. It was hard to explain to anyone else but they both had Eating Disorders which were just as bad as the other, but were differing in impact. Sonny lost weight a lot quicker than Tawni, she got ill before Tawni did, Sonny was caught before Tawni was.
Bulimia was different from Anorexia; Sonny wanted perfection, Tawni longed for control. She would lose all the control she had made for herself during the day by stuffing her face in the night, and the only way she could regain control afterwards from purging, it was the only way that worked for her.
Tawni looked over at Sonny, everyone was wearing shorts for a new sketch they were doing about sports in school, but as usual Sonny had refused to wear anything that exposed her stomach or legs. And only Tawni knew why – Sonny didn't want anyone to know how 'fat' she was, but Tawni could see how the girl would fade away every time she saw her.
Tawni stares at her legs as they walk over to the stage, wondering what they look like under all those baggy layers. She smiles at the girl she had become so close to but then so far apart at the same time, Sonny just nods and looks down at what Tawni is wearing. Tawni bites down on her lip for a moment knowing that Sonny was probably thinking how she shouldn't be wearing shorts, that she is too fat to wear them as well.
"What?" She does her best to sound casual but she knows it probably didn't sound that way, coming out weak and confused.
"Nothing.. I-I just... you've lost weight." She shrugs and then goes to walk off,
"You too." She smiles weakly and Tawni before looking down at the ground and sighing,
"Want to exercise tonight or something?" Tawni nods and grins, glad that Sonny had actually asked to hang around with her for the first time in a few weeks.
"We should go for a run tonight." Sonny nodded, linking arms with Tawni as they walked, neither of them seeing Zora behind them.
"I am so slow though."
"No! You're amazing at running now." She started to laugh a little biting down on her lip hard,
"Sonny hates running." Zora grinned, somehow popping up in front of them with her hands on her hips,
"Sonny doesn't, she's good at it."
"How about we don't talk about me like I am not even here?" Sonny rolled her eyes, pulling away from Emma and walking ahead of the two of them. Tawni ran back up to her, ignoring the hurt look on Zora's face, smiling at Sonny. She frowned when Sonny smiled back, noticing the smile never seemed to reach her eyes anymore. The sparkle that had always been in them from the day she had arrived at 'So Random!' was gone.
She found herself wondering if this was all her fault, if she was to blame for this new Sonny that nobody seemed to like. She was the one who introduced her to this world after all. She sighed and looked at the large exercise circuit that had been made for them for this sketch.
"We need to take this slow, okay?" She smiled, they weren't supposed to fall over or anything on the first rehearsal, it was just to get to know the course.
"Why? The faster we go, the more calories burned.. right?"
"You will never finish if you go too fast." Tawni knew she was right, Sonny's weak lungs wouldn't be able to take the pressure if she hadn't eaten for as long as Tawni thought.
"Don't do this.." She muttered, noticing that Sonny was getting into her sprinting pose,
"You won't care about being perfect if you're dead."
"Whatever Tawni." She spat her name out as she ran off, Tawni shook her head and held back for a moment knowing that Sonny was going to end up collapsing if she carried on like that all the way around. Tawni looked at Nico as he stared at Sonny, biting down on his lip as he jogged slowly around, she shrugged and smiled a little,
"I don't know either." She had to pretend, she didn't want anyone to blame her, she didn't mean to do it. She hadn't wanted this to happen.
Tawni wasn't too far behind Sonny but she knew the girl hadn't eaten in days, and she had no idea where she had gotten all her energy from, wishing she could find that willpower that Sonny always seemed to have so much of. She knew Sonny was going to quick for her own good, finally stopping at the finishing line and ignoring the looks from Marshall as he tried to cheer everyone else on.
"I told you not to do that." Tawni whispered, running over to her when she saw how pale she had gone,
"Are you okay?" Sonny tried her best to nod, tears falling down her face as she tried to catch her breath again. Tawni looked up at Marshall for a moment, crying out when Sonny fell to the ground.
"I told her not to go so fast." Tawni muttered, not knowing what else to say when Marshall pulled her out of the way so he could check on the now unconscious Sonny. Tawni kept shaking her head, she had no idea why Sonny had insisted on sprinting the whole way around. She blamed herself for all of this.
She watched as everyone else ran over, screaming her best friends name. She didn't look away from the tiny, pale girl who was laying on the floor through. She saw how badly she was shaking as they wrapped a blanket around her. And she sat there as an ambulance was called. She had no idea what to say or do, her best friend was about to be carted away in an ambulance and she was the only one who knew why. She was the only one who knew the girls secrets but she couldn't tell anyone. She had made a promise.
"Sonny?!" Chad shouted, running towards then with Nico who had seemingly gone to get the boy.
"What happened?" He looked at Tawni as though he blamed her for all of this but she just shrugged,
"Don't you dare shrug at me, I know you know something. Now tell me!" He glared at her, watching as his girlfriend was taken away by the paramedics. She could feel his hands on her shoulders as he shook her, and she turned to look at him,
"I told her to slow down." Was all she could say to the broken boy in front of her, wrapping her arms around herself. Nico sighed,
"She sprinted the whole way around, she just wouldn't stop." Chad looked at his girlfriend,
"I am going with her, see you there." He muttered before running over there and arguing with the paramedics. The friends fought the urge to smile when they heard him say,
"Do you know who I am? I am Chad Dylan Cooper!" They watched him jump into the back as one of them said he could go in and slam the door behind him.
"She's going to be okay." Grady whispered, trying to reassure himself and others around him, Tawni nodded,
"We-we need to get there..." She whispered,
"I-I need to know that she is going to be okay, I need to see her." She looked around before running up to her bag and grabbing her phone,
"Mum, I need you to pick me up now please."
"What's wrong honey?"
"Sonny has been taken into hospital and I need to see her mum, please." She could hear her mum whisper something to someone before coming back onto the phone,
"I will be there now." She said before hanging up.
"What is going on?" Zora asked her,
"Nothing is going on, why do you ask?"
"Does Sonny eat anything?" Grady bit down on his lip as he asked,
"Yes all the bloody time!" Tawni hissed at him, she couldn't stand all of this, everyone was going to blame her if anything happened to her, it was all her fault.
"She's just lost so much weight, we are all so worried about her." Nico spoke up, looking at Tawni as tears fell from her eyes,
"So you've all been bitching about her behind her back then?"
"No! What is wrong with you? She is our best friend as well and we are worried about her.. about both of you."
"Well you don't need to be, we are both fine."
"Sonny is laying in some hospital bed right now, so whatever the hell kind of pact you two have going on it needs to stop!" Zora shouted at the older girl, tears falling down the own little girls face as she looked down at the floor.
"I am going to go later, I will see you there." She muttered before running off the stage to phone her parents.
"You need to sort this out, and soon." Nico whispered before following Zora and Grady out, leaving Tawni on her own. She looked down at the floor and began to cry, she didn't know this was going to happen. She just wanted someone who understood her and now look at what happened.
She sighed as she grabbed all of her stuff and walked out of there to meet her mum. She just needed to know that Sonny was going to be okay, she was her best friend, the one person who knew everything about her. Sonny was the one she turned to when Tawni was upset or angry, she had to know that she was going to be okay.
Tawni needed Sonny more than Sonny needed her.
