Wow, I haven't updated in a while... and still no reviews? Come on guys you are killing me. This is sort of a blah chapter just to get something out there, also to show that Royal isn't as tough as she may seem. And for heaven's sake, just please review!
Chapter 8: Nightmares and Love
Roy Mustang P.O.V.
A small child sat on my lap, her features slowly coming into focus. First came the long black hair, silky and soft, then her eyes, blueish greyish, and her nose was simple and greatly resembled my brother's. She was beautiful and her skin was so soft in smooth, I could only imagine the other adorable features to follow. Then her right arm fell off, along with her left leg, leaving nothing but bloody stubs. Crescent scars started to form all over her body. And then her smile, oh her smile, it was crooked and cruel, not the one of a cheerful and innocent child that you would expect.
"You could've stopped this, Uncle." She cooed, yanking on the guilt that had already woven its way into my body. "All you had to do was come sooner, if you had... I wouldn't be scarred, I wouldn't be missing two limbs... I wouldn't be a merciless killer who wipes out her enemies without blinking or any remorse. You... you could've stopped all of this."
Then, with surprising strength, she launched herself at my face. The last thing I saw was her face, the cruel smile that didn't go with those pain filled eyes.
I jolted awake. My body was covered in sweat and my blankets were a jumbled mess. I sat up resting my elbows on my knees, and my head in my hands.
I didn't think of her that way... it is true that I could've stopped her from becoming this... but she wasn't the monster I saw in my nightmare. She wasn't. She couldn't be.
Something snapped me from my frightened daze. Sobbing. Someone was sobbing in the next room, the room my niece I slept in. I had insisted she stay at my place when she had arrived, and while it was disadvantage to have a person at work and home making sure I do my paperwork, it was nice being close to the niece I had been separated from for so long.
I pushed back my blankets, and quickly ran down the hall and into her room. Her room was plain and simple. Not a single picture adorned her wall or dresser. The walls were white and the carpets beige. She had very few belongings, and the very few framed pictures she had were of her and Moja, and she let Moja keep those in her room. It felt empty and lonely.
My niece's eyes were squeezed shut tight, tears following fiercely from them and while her legs kicked and flailed, her hands clawed and tore at one of the three pillows on her bed. She whimpered and sob as if she was in were in severe pain and agony.
I quickly ran to her side and griped her wrists, pulling her hands away from the destroyed pillow before she could tear on nails and harm her fingers on her automail palm.
"Royal, wake up. Come on, wake up." I commanded, scared to find her in such a state. I'd seen her cry only once since we had been reunited, and they had been tears of joy and relief, but these were tears of distress.
Her eyes snapped open in panic before she quickly threw her arms around my neck, clinging desperately to me. Sobs continued to rack her body, muffled only because her head buried in my shoulder.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly. "Come on, you can tell me."
"U-uncle, I'm not a monster, r-right?" She stuttered, between sobs and gasps for breath.
I was stunned. She feared the same thing as I did.
"I-I don't like killing, but if it's not them, it us, soldiers, and innocent Amestrians like WInry, Maybelle, and Anthony. Please, tell me I'm not a monster!" She sobbed, sensing my hesitation. "Please!"
It's honestly scary to see someone so strong so distraught, but I knew the feeling. I too felt like a monster for the slaughter of Ishvalans that I participated in, but the feeling of remorse and guilt had to count for something, right?
"I-I don't know, I have the same feeling from the Inshvalan Civil War. The government had told me it was for the good of the Amestris, and I had to believe that, otherwise the guilt would've destroyed me, and that was before I began to question the government. I think as long as you feel remorse for it, you are not a monster, despite the hard exterior others might see." I replied.
Her sobbing slowed and soon I her breathing slowed, but before she drifted off in my arms, I swear I heard her say, "That should go for you too, Uncle."
Riza Hawkeye P.O.V.
It was the details that very few would notice, the very few being only those who had experienced it themselves, that gave her away. The slight puffiness in the eyes, the colder expression on her face, the tense movements as if she were waiting to called a horrible name, she bore the look of someone who tortured themselves internally.
Royal brushed off Edward, who was trying to work on finding the location of Imperious. Edward was confused at Royal's unwillingness to help find her and end the war before it could even start. He wasn't one of those few. His torture was of a different kind, one that could be put to rest. His mother had not died a second time, thanks to him, his brother had his body back, he had gotten his arm back, he saved Amestris, all the while not killing a soul. He even helped start the rehabilitation of the homunculus, Pride. His tortures had been fixed and since he had not killed anyone, he didn't have the guilt of taking a life, or lives.
Roy came in shortly after his niece, looking like he hadn't had the best night of sleep.
"You don't look like you slept well. Tough night?" I asked.
"The guilt of killing that woman at the ball yesterday got to her last night. She fell asleep after sobbing in my arms for a while. I couldn't very leave or go to sleep in the same bed as a full grown woman." He replied.
"Nice to know you have some restraint when it comes to women, Sir."
"I've always had some, besides the playboy act helped on a few assignments and missions, you have to admit that. And she's my niece, I would never do anything to harm her." He said laughing nervously as he scratched the back of his head.
I just grunted.
"And besides, since I've started dating you I've kept my frivolous activities to a bare minimum."
Well, at lest he's being honest, and I couldn't expect him to change completely in a few weeks. The progress he'd made was already was astounding. I have only know of him flirt with three girls a week, which was significant amount in difference compared to his usual.
"Speaking of dating, our you still on for our date tonight? Or do you want to stay home and keep an eye on her?"
"I don't suppose we can have a nice dinner at my place?" He suggested, shrugging with a nervous look on his face, like he thought I might think that would be a bad idea. "She's in her room most of the time, studying, reading, and working on various projects. I see more of Moja than I do of her at home."
A nice compromise. A wasn't backing out of our date, but he was still making sure his niece was alright. If our relationship is to go far, I'd want someone like that as my husband and a father for our kids.
"That's fine, Sir. It's an agreeable compromise. But there is one condition."
"What?" He asked nervously.
"I cook. You have a habit of burning things."
"Alright, but I think it tastes fine that way."
"Sir, you have some paperwork from the Foreign Relations Department on your desk that needs turned in by lunch, so I recommend you get working on it if you want to eat lunch on time today."
"So, uh, what do you plan on making for dinner? Gotta make sure I have the supplies."
"Stop stalling, Sir, and just go do the paperwork." I ordered, sensing his attempt at avoiding the pile of paperwork that was sitting on his desk.
"Alright, I'll go do it." He submitted. "Don't be late for dinner. See you at 8, and don't forget, you call me Roy when off duty, and I'll call you Riza."
"Yes, Sir." I agreed as he closed the door to his office, only letting my blush and smile show after it clicked shut.
