I have no idea why, but I've made Kix out to be a crazy medic. I regret nothing. Edit: I put 22 instead of 24 for their physical age. Oops.

(For anybody who doesn't know, the clones were genetically altered to age twice as fast as a regular human. (Every one year is two for them.) They'd die around age 20, if they weren't killed by blasterfire or serious injury. (On the bright side, they'd go through puberty literally overnight.))


Continued

36) Medics (I'm looking at you, Kix): please stop threatening to use rusty scalpels on the shinies. Shinies, remember: the medroids, not clone medics, take care of injuries while on the ship.

36b) But on the battlefield, the medics own your sorry behind. - Jesse

(All the shinies refuse to let Kix treat them now, if they're conscious. He has resorted to knocking them out if they're not. Their fear increases with every battle.)

37) Paying attention to female officers when they speak to you is fine, and frankly expected of you. Ogling her backside is not. Don't think I haven't noticed. You're lucky she hasn't.

37b) You guys are twelve! And just who was staring, Rex? - Ahsoka

37c) We're also twenty-four. And I won't say, mainly because we need all men in good condition. I can think of a few things that can be seriously damaged. And it wasn't you he was staring at, ma'am. - Rex

37d) Ah. Gotcha. - Ahsoka

(Two certain commanders gave each member a thoroughly terrifying glare the next time they were aboard the Resolute.)

38) Fives, stop telling the shinies Kix is going to eat them. They're taking it literally. - Echo

38b) So that's why the newest bunch gives him a wide berth. - Appo

(Before they knew it was Fives who started it, the most anyone could get out of them was something about food shortages and cannibalism. Kix was not amused.)

39) I enjoy a good prank as much as the next man. But that was too much. Whoever rebuilt the super battle droids, listen up: while I commend you on your skills, when I find out who put them in my quarters while I was sleeping, my wrath will be on par with Kix's. - General Skywalker

39b) In other words, you're screwed. - Coric

(Anakin's scream of terror rivaled that of Rex's when he saw the "zombie" troopers.)

40) Whoever created the song "Move, You Fekker" using sound bites of Admiral Yularen, General Skywalker, and General Koon's voices needs to hand in all the copies immediately. I would also like to know how you did it. Ingenious, really.

40b) Not helping, Rex. And if anyone ever tries to repeat this, there will be no place in the galaxy you can hide from me. - Anonymous

(By the time the command staff knew what was going on, the song had circled through the entire GAR at least twice, and has since become a favorite. It's up there with Vode An.)


"Fekker" is basically "fucker". It's a parody of Maroon 5's "Moves like Jagger." I remember reading a story about someone doing the same thing, but I don't remember who it was or where the story can be found. By the way, I would so do this if I had the opportunity.

Edit 3/4/15: Nox Gold created lyrics for "Move, You Fekker." Go to their profile if you want to check it out, since we can't copy and paste from stories anymore. Probably because of these little fucking thieves running around...fuck you guys. Up the ass. With a fucking spear. Bastards...