Chapter 8: Figuring It Out

Aang yawned and rubbed his eyes as the smell of cooking fish and herbs flowed into his nose. He breathed deeply and sighed, rolling over to face the fire that warmed the cave. Faint sunlight could be seen rising above the blue ocean. His gaze fell to Katara, who worked on warming a kettle on the fire. Both Toph and Sokka continued to sleep soundly. He looked across the dancing flames to see an empty bedroll. Where did Zuko go? His face turned red with shame. He buried himself in his blanket as memories of their fight from the night before came back to him. How he wished he could take back the things he'd said! How he wished he could just bury his head in the sand! If he hadn't said those things, Zuko wouldn't be angry at him and his friends wouldn't be...he glanced at Katara. She hadn't spoken to him at all when she and Zuko had returned to the cave. She didn't even sleep next to me like she always does. She slept next to Zuko. He resisted the tears swelling up in the corner of his eyes. He didn't have an excuse for the harsh words he had used last night. He'd lost his temper. Just like with the earthbender general and in the desert. How come I can't control myself?

"You're up," Katara said, looking at the airbender. "How'd you sleep?"

Aang rubbed the back of his neck as the fight replated itself in his mind. The cruel words he'd said to Zuko weighed on his heart like a anchor. He sighed and sat up, pushing the blanket off him. "I didn't sleep well at all."

Katara nodded. "It's hard to sleep when you're mad at a friend." Aang hung his head. Katara leaned over the flames to check the fish and took the kettle off the fire. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she poured the tea into two cups. She walked to Aang and offered him one. He accepted it in silence as she sat next to him. Katara peeked at his flushed face, noting his averted gaze and sweaty hands. Clearly, the night before had shaken Aang a lot. He must be feeling pretty bad. I don't think he's ever had a outburst like that towards anyone before. It probably shocked him as much as it did everyone else. She wished she knew exactly what had started it all. Zuko and Aang had been getting along well on the ship, but it seemed ever since they reached the mainland there had been unexplained tension between the two of them. Sokka had told her he hoped Zuko could teach Aang firebending. After last night I don't see a lot of teamwork happening between those two.

"Aang?"

The airbender glanced at her before turning back to his tea.

Katara laid her hand on his shoulder. "Aang, last night wasn't you. The Aang I know would never say those things. The Aang I know is kind and cares about his friends."

"You're right, Katara," Aang said, resting his chin on his knees. "Last night wasn't me."

"What's wrong?"

Aang frowned, thinking of how to explain his feelings. The right words never really came him in situations like this. I don't even know what's wrong with me. The feelings that caused him to act the way he did, were foreign to him.

"What's going on between you and Zuko? What happened last night?" She waited for what seemed like several minutes before speaking again. "You guys got along well on the ship. I don't understand why now, all of a sudden—."

"I feel like he's trying to take you away from me! Zuko's always talking to you. He's always hanging out with you. I want to spend time with you too. We were friends first! He's tried to capture me. He even took your mother's necklace! How can you be friends with someone like him?"

Katara's ears rang as Aang's outburst echoed across the stone walls. She looked over to Sokka, who continued to snore. She gulped and tried to remember to breath. His outburst had caught her off guard and she hadn't realized she was holding her breath. I didn't know he was feeling this way. Why didn't he tell me? Trying to remember when she might have pushed Aang away, she closed her eyes and inhaled. She had been spending a lot of time with Zuko. I wanted Zuko to feel like family. He needed to open up and trust us. The time on the ship with her tribe hadn't exactly made the firebender feel welcome. Had she really been spending so much time with him that Aang felt like they weren't close friends anymore? Maybe that's why Toph has been teasing me so much.

Katara took Aang's hands in her own, squeezing them lightly. "Aang, Zuko isn't taking me away. But you have to understand...Zuko lost everything. We're all he has. In a sense, he's kind of like you."

"We're nothing alike! I'm the Avatar. I'm the good guy."

Katara shook her head, disappointed shadowing her face. "Zuko, like you, has lost a lot of things that are precious to him. His friends and family. Maybe you should spend more time talking to him, instead of pushing him away." Katara stood, taking the empty tea cups. "You should get ready for school and thank Zuko for the tea when you see him."


It didn't take Aang long to reach the village. He'd found a path through the woods from the beach that took him less time than heading through the paved roads. He kicked along a small rock as he headed into town. The sun had risen a while ago, the clouds providing shade every other moment. Several merchants had already set up shop and the village women had began doing their morning errands. Aang stuffed his hands into his pockets, his mind wandering to the harsh words he'd said to Zuko a day earlier. What's wrong with me? How could I say those things? What was wrong with him? He couldn't remember a time where he'd said such cruel words to anyone. Now that he was thinking straight, he realized he hadn't just hurt Zuko. He'd hurt Katara too. The look she had given him after he yelled at Zuko had broken his heart. It hadn't been anger or even sadness. She looked so disappointed in me.

Aang moaned and grasped his head. "Argh! I'm an idiot! Why did I do that?"

"Kuzon?" someone called.

Aang looked up to see a young girl from the school. Her brown hair was in a topknot, her uniform cleaned and smooth. Her brown eyes narrowed in concern as he walked towards her. "Hi, On Ji. Nice day isn't it? Look at that sun! Boy, it's bright." He smiled.

"You look upset. Is something wrong?" On Ji asked, walking beside him. She held her red school bag against her chest, several sheets of paper sticking out of it. She looked at him with a concerned gaze. "You weren't smiling. I've never seen you without a smile."

Aang shook his head. "Me? No way. You know I'm always happy."

"You called yourself an idiot."

She had heard that? Aang sighed, glancing at On Ji. Should he tell her what was troubling him? Of course he wouldn't name names but maybe talking to her could help him. He breathed in. "I said some some really mean things to a friend. We aren't really close...but he did save my life once. I don't know why I said them. I just got angry and lost control…"

On Ji listened intently, her brows furrowed as Aang continued to speak. They continued to walk down the brick roads, passing a flower shop. The fragrance of the flowers blew through the open windows, tickling their noses as they looked through the door.

"So...when you see him with Katara, you start to feel upset?" On Ji asked, titling her head to the side as if running the idea through her head.

Aang nodded.

"Hmm...Kuzon. I think you're jealous."

"Jealous?" Aang scratched his head. He couldn't remember a time when he had ever been jealous of anyone. Emotions like that were not appropriate for a monk to have. He sighed as his conversation with the Guru came to mind. You have to let her go. But surely, letting Katara go...didn't really mean letting her go? He felt as if he were drowning as the thought swirled around his head.

"You told me you have a funny feeling whenever you see Katara with your friend, right? It's not anger or sadness, but it's an uncomfortable feeling. Kuzon, you love her." On Ji's face turned red as she pushed a tress of brown hair out of her face. "Does she love you too?"

Aang wrung his hands together. "I–I don't know. We've been friends for a long time. I don't understand. Maybe I'm not funny enough? Or maybe I'm not cool enough?" Like Jet was. He grimaced at the thought of being like Jet. But then ashamed that he had thought of it in the first place.

On Ji shook her head and smiled. "I think you're very funny. I don't know about cool." She laid her hand on his shoulder. "Kuzon, just because you're friends with a girl doesn't mean she'll like you. You should tell her how you feel and if she likes you too, that's great. If not, I hope you can still be friends with her."

Aang nodded. They reached the school. The tall, black, iron gates loomed over them as they walked through to the courtyard. Students stood outside speaking to each other, their books in their bags or in their arms. Teachers stood near the doors, their eyes on the students as they waited for the gong to announce the beginning of class. Two girls called to On Ji, waving to her as she cross the courtyard. On Ji waved at her friends near the steps of the school. She turned to Aang.

"I have to go, but I hope you make up with your friend. If he's really done all those things for you, you'd lose a good friend."


Aang had a hard time paying attention during school the rest of the day. He'd already gotten reprimanded twice during the morning period and faced a possible detention the next day. He stared at the teacher in front of the class. She stood stiffly, her shoulders tense. Her long bony nose turned down as she peeked at them from behind her black glasses. Whenever a student would give a wrong answer, she would sniff at them and her nose would come alive as it wriggled in disapproval. Aang wondered if she smelled fear.

"And Kuzon should know this since he is from the colonies. Kuzon?"

Aang blinked, coming out of his thoughts. The class stared at him expectantly. He looked at the teacher, then back at the students. "Um...Fire Lord Ozai?"

The teacher's face twisted into disgust, her nose seemed to wiggle in shock. "Fire Lord Ozai? Have you been paying attention at all, Kuzon?"

"I guess not—"

"You guess not? Out! Out in the hall with you! Shen, escort Kuzon to the hall! I'd never heard such insolence—"

Aang stood as another classmate grabbed him by the arm and walked him out of the room. The door closed behind him. Shen shook his head.

"I can't believe you answered it like that."

Aang scratched his head. "What was the question?"

"I wasn't paying attention either."


Thank you all for being so patient with me! We've had a rough couple of weeks. Sickness hit our house for a while and then my sister and brother in law and mother and father in law visited periodically. Then playdates with friends and family and I babysat my nephews for a weekend. Things just kept happening! Thank you all for reviewing and sticking with this story. I appreciate all of the feedback!

Painterofemotions