Hello my little bundles of sunshine. This piece of cra-I mean, fan fiction is intended to be humourous. Solely made for the entertainment of those who are reading (and for myself ofcourse. I get lonely...) This is a work of fan fiction; it has no relation to The Legend of Zelda's respective owners, no profit was made from the writing of this story. Any amount of butt-hurt recieved is entirely unintentional (in most cases.) and pointless. Save the drama for the llamas.
CHAPTER 8 "The Rusl Talks to Link Chapter"
It had been another two days before, to put it bluntly, Link finally gathered what ever wits he had left and decided to pack his belongings and leave and never, ever come back. There was nothing left for him here in the small village of Ordon, minus a loving family. But, to the orphan hero, those things weren't important; there was a blue alien babe just waiting to be fucked (By him, he supposed, but unknowingly to our hero: things would take a drastic turn soon enough. For better, or for worse? Well, that depends on how he'll look upon the situation. lol foreshadowing.).
Of course, things were never that simple, and with the life Link has lead he's learned to adjust his plans accordingly. Such formalities like "Good bye forever, people of Ordon. Thanks for the food." were of course needed. Dreadfully, the boy knew this and Link shrugged off his pack and headed outside, to say adios to the locals.
Sliding down his little makeshift latter, like he did that one other time he saved the world- Damn that was cool. Man, Link, you're so cool. Now hurry up and go abandon your family (I cannot stress this enough people.) so we can continue to talk about how cool you are. Go on, now! Go on!
Link had walked some mile or so before reaching the heart of Ordon, it was early in the morning and the sun was just starting to creep over the little mountain tops in the horizon. Blissfully unaware of what a beautiful morning this was ("Nature sucks!"), Link first made his way to Rusls small cottage. Rusl was like a father to him, or maybe even like an older brother (according to some cheap TP site on the internet. Psssh, what a bunch of lame-o's. I mean, who are you gunna believe? Some dorks who call themselves Nintendo? Or me? Yeah, I thought so.).
Anyway, Link stopped at the wooden entrance just before the inside of Rusls home. The ex-hero took the time to admire the door, this would probably be the last time he'd ever see the thing after all, and he and this door have had alot of good times together... like that one time when he was four and new to the village, he was naively playing a game of "tag" with Ilia where he ran straight into the door and cried for two hours-yes, those were very, very happy times. Link smiled at the fond memory, knowing he hasn't felt complete since the love of his love of two weeks left him. He had blacked out for several minutes and the door remained there at his side, like a supporting friend who would always be there for him and-oh my god this is taking forever!
Uncaringly kicking away at his wooden childhood friend, Link rushed into the house. Hurried cries of,"Rusl! Rusl!" echoed against four walls and Link almost felt a surge of panic as Rusl was still nowhere to been seen. "Rusl! Hey, Rusl! I need to talk to yoooou!" Link hollered once again. Where could that respectable old fart be?
"God damn it, Link!" Rusl finally emmerged. "How many times I have told you? You're supposed to knock on the door!"
"Yeah, yeah, door. Knock. Okay." Link sputtered, only half interested, and looking around wildly. "I have to tell you something!"
"Well, what is it?" asked the older man.
"I'm leaving." answered the blond, flatly.
Pause.
"Forever." he added.
"What?-but, Link, my boy! You can't leave!" Rusl told Link, the sudden declaration waking him. "What brought this on? You can't just leave!"
"Sure I can," Link replied, his tone even. "and I'm going to!"
"Be reasonable!"
"You're not my father!" the young man replied defiantly.
"I never said I was!" Rusl cried out in defense. "I was just saying... MORE ARGUEING OCCURS HERE. LINK CRIES A LITTLE BIT, RUSL COMFORTS, GIVING IN LIKE A LITTLE PUSSY AND EVENTUALLY TELLING LINK IT'S OKAY TO LEAVE. FOREVER. BECAUSE HE, too, WAS YOUNG AND ADVENTUROUS AND HUNGRY FOR VAGINA ONCE. BLAH BLAH BLAH SHIT SHIT SHIT."
"Thank you for understanding Rusl." Link said softly, hugging his mentor for the very last time ever, while said mentor patted his back in comfort. "Oh, and another thing." he sniffled, sitting up. "Can you say good bye to Jimmy or whatever his name is for me?"
"Sure Link!" Rusl replied, still putting on the weeny act. "but I think you mean 'Colin'."
"It matters." Link waved to him before shutting the door in his face.
Well, there you have it folks. I hope I made Link sound enough like an out of character douche bag. I'm sure he's feeling depressed and with out a purpose and everything, but Link needs to get over himself and his little dramatics and realize that family will always be there for him. Those around you give you purpose, Link! Stop living in the past and get on with your seventeen year old life! GOD!
Next chapter, whenever I decide to write it, will be relatively short. It'll unfold much like Chapter 2, where Link finally says goodbye to that fat bitch Ilia. Oh my god she is so annoying!11!1!ihatemyself!1!and ugly ewwww!1!que feo!1! Burn in hell, horse stealer!
I wrote this chapter in a fairly bad mood (Facebook deactivated my account because I mispelled my password.), I think that has really contributed to the fuel of this chapter. Because instead of chatting with my friends and family, I sat here and wrote crappy fanfiction.
REPLAY TIEM SHAWTY.
Midna Hytwilian: Well, after finally crawling out from the darkest depths of the Twilight Realm (it was a formidable adventure worthy enough of a crappy self-insert. I found myself in a passionate romance with Midna.), and I found myself face to face with your review. Mybe it was just a coincidence and-Thank you. AND VAATI PUT THE DELICATES DOWN.
Shadow Wolf King: hey you changed your namekshijdsgafhuijsgdo. And yes you do. YES YOU DO.
Reghedable: lulz. Gracias!
Ryuchie: lollercoasters! "There is always atleast one line in each of your chapters that has me Rofling with some roflwaffles." You have no idea how insanely happy that makes me! xD Well, maybe you do, but mmmm... waffles... and as for your remark towards someone being butthurt I have to say that I have no idea what you're talking about (wink wink.)
TOODLES BITCHES. i love you.
