POTTERY IN MOTION

PART 8

With their souls still a bit sore from last time the chaps decided to bring Clayopatra II to life the old fashioned way: by electroshocking it into her in the Chamber of Mad Science. James was chosen to pull the lever after a game of Ip Dip and now they were waiting with Clayopatra II in the Hogsmead forest for Clayopold. This was where he liked to write his poems.

The chaps shuddered in the cold, waiting for Clayopold to arrive at the appointed time.

Then he finally arrived, as miserable as ever.

"Took you long enough," said James.

"I was contemplating life," said Clayopold. "And getting French lessons from a blind man. Ah, fous le camp."

"What does that mean?" James asked.

"It's a fool's camp."

"What is?"

"It's colloquial, it refers to life as a fool's camp. The French have lots of unusual expressions. For example, did you know that they don't say 'c'est la vie' but 'give a bath to a seahorse'?"

"Well I'm glad you found a way to not be so alone: by hanging out with blind people."

"But then his camping family came a chased me away."

"Here you are, anyway," said Sirius, bringing forth Clayopatra II. "Your special lady golem friend. No intelligence guaranteed."

Clayopold didn't look as impressed or dazzled as the chaps had expected. Perhaps the hairy legs were too much of a turn off.

"Ok but will you make me a woman now?"

"Now that's just offensive, she's right here!" said Sirius.

"Isn't this what you asked for?" Remus asked.

"I suppose we should have asked for your preferences," said James.

"I did not ask for this at all!" cried Clayopold. "I want you to make a woman out of me!"
Sirius began to point his finger between the chaps. "Ip, dip, dip..."

"You want to be a woman?" James asked, just to be sure. You couldn't be too sure.

"Yes I thought I made it very clear," Clayopold replied.

Remus turned away. "Permission to nag?"

"Ok but it's a penny in the jar from you," said Sirius.

"Is this transphobic?"

"What is? The fact that Clayopold wants to be a woman, or that you find it silly?"

"It's silly because it's a golem," said James. "As well."

"That's beastist. Here I thought I was the politically incorrect one."

"I have met so much phobia I don't even care anymore," said Clayopold sadly. "Just make a woman out of me."

"Why in the world would you want such a thing when being a man is so much better?"

"Because I want to have babies. Is there any other reason?"

"I didn't think so either."

"Golems can't have babies!" said James.

"How about we make you a seahorse?" Remus suggested.

"I don't want to be a bleedin searhorse!" Clayopold raged, because not once had he asked to be a seahorse.

"Just a suggestion, in case the thought hadn't ocurred to you..."

Then Clayopold actually gave it some thought, and decided that perhaps he could get accustomed to being a seahorse afterall, but a seahorse with legs.