"Father and Son"
By EsmeAmelia
AN: Happy Father's Day! And thanks as always to the reviewers!
Chapter 8
"Ani...Ani...ANI...HELP ME..."
Her cries echoed into the darkness, but no one could help her as her screams of torture faded away into eternal silence.
"MOMMY!! MOMMY!!!"
The child's tear-soaked face was dragged away, his hand reaching out for his mother that could no longer grant any comfort. Large, rough hands reached out of the darkness, grabbing the boy's waist, pulling him back as he shouted for his mother.
"Han! Han! HAN!!!"
The father's choking, desperate voice was unheeded by the hands carrying away the child - just like the boy's cries.
"Anakin, you are not his father," said the accented, kindly, horrible voice of the man he called his master. "You can't take care of a child. You're a Jedi."
"To hell with it, Master - my son needs me!"
Obi-Wan's face remained expressionless as his hands grasped the younger Jedi like the claws of a wild animal. "Anakin, the Jedi need you more. You should never have adopted him in the first place. Anakin, you know attachments are counterproductive."
"I don't care - he's my son!!!"
The father's screams and tears continued to be wasted on the deaf ears of his master, whose hands refused to release him, leaving him to watch his son being dragged away forever, his hand still reaching out for comfort that wouldn't come, his face red from crying, his screams pounding into his father's ears.
"DADDY!!!!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Anakin woke up soaked in sweat, blinking rapidly, squinting as the morning sunlight shot into his eyes, confirming to himself little-by-little that he was in bed, that the baby hadn't come yet, that everything was all right...for now. Now was fleeting, now was temporary, now wouldn't last. The advice Yoda had given him the day before was buzzing in his head like a nasty insect.
Train yourself to let go of all you fear to lose.
Anakin ran his metal fingers through his eyebrows, letting the cold hardness take away some of the focus from his mind, but only some. His head was burning, as if a remnant of his soul had gotten lost in the dream never to find its way back to the waking world. All possibility that his previous dream might have been nothing more than what a nightmare would be to a regular person vanished. One dream might have carried enough doubt for it to be a tiny possibility, but two dreams almost certainly meant he was receiving premonitions.
And Han had been in this one...
Anakin rubbed his sticky forehead with his regular arm. Han...he had no legal custody over him. As far as the world was concerned, Padme was single and Han had no father. If Padme died, Han would be taken away.
And where would he go? To his grandparents? His aunt? It seemed one of those would be the logical choice, but his dream seemed to indicate otherwise. The Jedi shivered, twisting the sheets between his legs, still hearing the screams of his wife and son in his mind.
He rolled to the side, seeing that Padme was gone, which tied a knot in his stomach even though he knew she had probably just gotten up before him. Once again he felt terribly, horribly alone. Yoda's words felt like knives piercing his soul. How could the world be so cruel as to expect him to let go of the two people he loved the most?
His body continued to shake as he forced himself out of bed, praying that his wife and son were safe even though his rational side knew they were. His eyes itched as if he had been crying for a long time. While his body hobbled out of the bedroom, his mind was still suffering with the dream, struggling for a way out of this destiny.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Rrrrrwaaaarrr!" Han shouted, jumping in front of his father the instant he walked through the kitchen doorway. The child was still wearing his yellow-and-green striped pajamas which were unbuttoned at the top, his raggy brown hair still mussed from the night.
Anakin managed to find enough presence of mind to pretend to be frightened at his son's antics. "Aaah! A monster!"
Han burst into a fit of giggles. "No Daddy, I'm a Wookiee! Dey're not scawy."
"Hmm, I don't know about that," said Anakin. "I hear they sometimes tear your arms off." He playfully pinched the boy's cheek. "Yoda says that getting a Wookiee angry is even more dangerous than angering a Sith."
Han's giggles grew louder, sounding like he was in danger of getting the hiccups. "You funny, Daddy."
"Finally up?" Padme's voice called from the stove without looking at her husband, yet even the back of her head was enough to make him gulp as his dream once more pulsed in his head.
Anakin inhaled, trying to still his tongue before it spilled his dream out. "Yeah..."
Padme turned around to face him, her smile that would normally bring him joy now only making the dream more vivid. "Han told me about where Yoda's going - he's been pretending to be a Wookiee all morning."
"Yoda..." Anakin repeated, feeling a surge of anger flowing through him despite any attempts to block it off. He suddenly found himself wishing the Jedi master were here so he could give him a good punch.
He swallowed, trying in vain to eliminate the image of Yoda suffering in his head, trying to dismiss the appeal of it. He was a Jedi - he couldn't think like this...he couldn't...but somehow the image of Yoda in pain remained without consequence, without remorse, only the single moment of punishment for the one who told him to let go of his family.
"Ani? Ani, are you all right?"
Anakin blinked at his wife as if he'd only now noticed her presence. "What?"
Padme raised an eyebrow. "Your mind seems to be somewhere else." She stepped closer to her husband. "What's wrong."
Anakin sighed, glancing down at Han before answering. "I'll tell you when Han's not here," he whispered.
"Why don't you wanna tell me?" Han piqued up, a frown suddenly appearing on his face.
Anakin gritted his teeth, wishing his son didn't have such good hearing.
"Yes, why don't you want to tell him?" Padme repeated.
Anakin sighed in irritation. "Last time you were angry at me for telling him."
Padme's casual movements stilled, her eyes slightly expanding. "Another dream?" she said in a hushed voice.
Anakin bit his lip as he nodded.
"You dweamed of Mommy dyin again?" Han asked, his eyes wide in fear, his fingers gripping his mother's skirt.
Padme gently wrapped her arms around her husband, lightly patting his back. "Anakin, you're afraid, that's understandable, but you shouldn't let your fear control you..."
"Han was in this one," Anakin said suddenly, seemingly without permission from his brain.
Han threw his arms around Padme's legs, not taking his wide eyes off his father.
Padme released her husband from the embrace so she could stroke the boy's head. "Ani..."
She wasn't given the chance to say anything more, for Anakin suddenly dropped to his knees, his face level with Han's. He slid his metal fingers behind his son's ear, bending it slightly. "Han..." he whispered, "...you need to be brave."
The child sniffed loudly. "What's gonna happen, Daddy?" he choked.
"I don't know," said Anakin, staring into the boy's hazel eyes. "I had another scary dream last night."
"Did Mommy die again?" Han asked, his eyes beginning to swell up with tears.
Anakin felt the air draining out of his lungs, a silent voice telling him to stop what he was doing, but another equally-strong silent voice telling him to continue, their clashing only giving him the ability to nod.
The tears welling in Han's eyes started dripping down his cheeks. Anakin cupped his son's head in his hands as he kissed his face, tasting the saltiness of his tears.
"There's more," he said, once more unsure why he was saying it. "In my dream, after Mommy died, some strange people took you away from me."
"Wh-why?" Han struggled to say through his sobs.
"Because they didn't think I could take care of you," Anakin whispered.
Han sobbed louder, his face beginning to redden, his cheeks drenching. "I don't wanna go!" he screamed between heaves.
Anakin threw his arms around his son, squeezing him closer until the child's face was pressed against his father's shoulder. "Han," he whispered, stroking the sobbing boy's back, "you won't be taken away. I'm going to find some way to stop this." He pulled out of the embrace so he could look straight into his son's eyes. "I promise."
