So... Making a test... How do I start...?

I had the computer, which wasn't a computer per se but a holographic one, in front of me with a hologram of a base testing track floating in the middle. Push a button, pick the cube, put it in button and test done. But GLaDOS asked me to do it hard.

Try to make your two neurons work to make a good test.

She laughed at her own joke. I'm gonna make her pay! I'm gonna give her a reeeeeally hard test! That's my goal.

But the thing is I just know how to solve, not build...

...

This is gonna take a while.


After one hour, Chell said that I could go into the elevator to the test. And obviously, she did it mocking me.

"Please remember that any unauthorized material that goes through the Emancipation Grill will be disintegrated." She said with her most fake, me voice. "So don't cover yourself up, because those clothes are not authorized by me."

"Ha. Ha." I am wearing a testing jumpsuit, blue instead of orange. "These clothes are authorized by me. You are no one." The weight of the Portal Gun is alien to me, but it's my first time doing this, so I guess it's normal.

"Look at you. How do you feel being the test subject now?" I feel... Uncomfortable. This isn't my comfort zone.

"I feel nothing." She mustn't know.

"Not even slightly scared?"

"Not at all." The elevator stopped. The screens showed the Aerial Faith Plate quick intro loop. I walked into the stairs and then to the door, passing through a hallway with a screen that showed the number of the room, number 1, and then the test itself. I walked in and the lights turned on.


www youtube com / watch ? v = 5EdvtkzdCNk


A 1500 Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button in the middle, a button in a wall with an elevator down, lasers and a cube dispenser.

"Really?" So original...

"Do the test." She said. I sighed and walked to the button, pushing it with a fist.

And the floor went down. It went down just one level until it took me to another area. Cube behind glass and that's it.

"You made a rather complicate test."

"Did I?" She laughed. "Hehe..."

Easy test. Place portals on the ground, one under me, one near the other side, jump to portal, land...

"You are doing it wrong." She said.

"No, I'm not." There are 3 ways to solve this test.

Grab cube, jump to the portal that leads me back to the other side, go to panel, push button, go up, end up with the button, place cube over button, go through door and finish test.

"Nicely done." She said with my voice. "Remember that, after the next two tests following this one, you will be rewarded with cake."

"There are more test?" When she made so many?

"Yep. One test down, two to go." Well... I might as well enjoy it.


Watching GLaDOS jump around in the tests I made is so cool. She does it all with such grace and beauty... I think that now I understand how testing can be an art.

Also, her jumpsuit is really tight, so it's also sexy.

"Could you jump three time before going through the door?" I zoomed into her and closed the door.

"What for?"

"It's part of the test." She sighed and did the three jumps while I pressed the 'record' button with a big zoom on her chest. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Well, I am a pervert now...

"Thanks for your cooperation." I said and opened the door. "Now you will be taken with me."

"You just made three tests?" She said while walking to the elevator. "There's no brain in you..."

"Laaaame." I said. "Come on, you can do better."

"This body is overheating, thus I don't want to think too much." She said. "I haven't told you, but this body is a prototype. The real design has some flaws removed from this body."

"Like?"

"I want to remove all of Caroline from me. Or at least what I have from her."

"Why? To be less human?"

"Exactly. Giving myself a positronic brain, thing that this body does not has, will give me the ability of choosing what to upload to it, like the Testing Protocol Drive, basic sensors and also not upload anything human on myself."

"But the whole thing was for you to feel more human." What kind of test is this then?

"Yes. But I don't want any of my... Human emotions jeopardize my project." Oh...

"So... Being human is... A nuisance for you?"

"Exactly."

Oh... It is... I understand her discomfort, since she was one, but why deny her humanity so strongly?

"Hey... Glados..." I gotta ask something real quick.

"Yes?"

"Do you know everything about Caroline?"

"I was her."

"Did she had a relationship with Cave?"

"No. They had a strictly professional relation."

"Was... Caroline straight?"

...

"Are you really thinking that Caroline was homosexual?"

"... Not totally..." She looked at the nearest camera, thus me.

"Let me rephrase. Are you thinking that Caroline possible homosexuality have passed to me?"

"Well... You as a robot are asexual." I think. "But as a human, are you gay?"

"Are you?"

"I don't know..." Really, I don't know.

"Your recent behavior demonstrates that you are homosexual."

*DING*

The elevator's doors opened and GLaDOS walked down the hallway to the main chassis room, where I am.

"I might be..." I have never seen anything like-able in men, but in women...

"Well, there you go. You are gay." She said. "In science, there are no 'might', there's a yes or a no."

"And what about you." She sighed and the doors of the room opened.

"I am certainly NOT attracted to you." She said and the little pod where I first saw this body appeared. "Now, if you are done asking stupid questions, I'm going to transfer."

"You are done for now?" I asked and the screens moved away, replaced by panels.

"This body is overheating." She said and connected a cable to an opening in her neck. "I need to transfer. Don't worry, next time you see me in two legs, it'll be in my new body."

"When?"

"Tomorrow." She said and closed the eyes.

TRANSFERENCE PROCEDURE IN PROGRESS. PLEASE STAND BACK WHILE TRANSFERENCE PROCEDURE IS IN PROGRESS.

The big chassis that is originally GLaDOS started to move and then woke up.

"Can I see the new body?" I asked and she turned to me.

"What for?" She said. "So you can start drooling on it? No, thanks. Go drool somewhere else."

"No!" Why would I? "I wan't to see it!" The pod where the gynoid GLaDOS disappeared and was replaced by a panel.

"You will see it tomorrow." She said and the floor moved, panel by panel taking me to the exit. "Now go to sleep."

"I'm not sleepy!" I said and tried to move away, but they were fast.

*Ssssssss*

Suddenly, I felt sleepy.

"No gas!" I said. "That's... Not fair...!" I tried to stay awake.

Don't fall asleep! Don't fall asleep! Don't... Don't fall...

"Goodnight, Chell."