Five Steps Forward
"How was work?" AJ asked, sitting on her couch with Punk the next night, folders out, pen in hand as she wrote up some new things on his day, just an overall review type of thing.
"We still have to do this?" Punk questioned, "It was fine. No different from yesterday or the day before." He said, "Although, Al offered me more money, which was strange." He said.
"Maybe he thinks you deserve more." AJ said as Punk just shook his head.
"Doubt it. I barely do anything." He said as AJ raised her eyebrows, "I mean… sometimes, there's just not enough work for me." He justified as she just smirked, "When do I get to see Joni again?" He asked desperately.
"A few days." AJ said, "They'll get more frequent as time passes, but you still gotta take it slow with her." She said, looking down at her files and rolling her eyes, "I know this isn't what you probably want to talk about, but… this is my job, gotta do it right." She said, "Do you feel ready yet to talk about prison? What went on? Not that I should know but I seen you had scars on your arms."
"They aren't from prison." He laughed at her innocence, "I grew up on the streets." He said, "You fight for food. You fight for a spot to sleep. You fight for money." He said, "They're nothing really. Just some old wounds." He said.
"So prison was just a breeze for you?" She asked, leaning her side into the couch and looking on at him as he rolled his eyes.
"Well, god no it wasn't a breeze." He said, "I missed my daughter. Missed my friends." He said, "What? Do you think I got bullied or something?" He laughed a little.
"Well more often than not, from working with previous ex inmates, they come out with horrific stories about what went down in prison whilst they were there." She said.
"I mean, yeah. I got into a few scraps, but nothing worth mentioning. Nothing that keeps me awake at night." He said as she just nodded.
"So you just got on with things?" She asked.
"Well don't get me wrong, being in between four walls every day doing nothing drove me insane. But here I am… I don't see the point in thinking back to when I was in there."
"So you don't carry any stress thinking back to it? No nightmares?" She asked.
"I just don't think back to it. That's how I don't get stressed over it. I don't, you know… sit in my bed at night and replay everything that happened. Who'd do that?" He asked.
"You'd be surprised." She said, "Well it's good you can just forget about it like that. A lot of guys can never get over their time inside." She said, placing her folder and pen over on the coffee table, "I think we're done here." She admitted to him.
"Any interesting plans for tonight?" Punk asked casually.
"Nope." AJ said, "I'll probably just make my dinner and got to bed." She said, "It was my work night out tonight-"
"Why didn't you go?" Punk asked.
"I'm not much of a party girl. And I don't even know a lot of people from my work. My boss is the only person I speak with on a daily basis." She said as Punk just smiled, "Why are you smiling?"
"You should have went." He said, "You didn't not go because me did you?"
"I never go." She said, "Don't flatter yourself like that." She laughed as he just smiled.
"You got a soda or even just a bottle of water or something?" He asked her as she nodded.
"Yeah." She stood up, walking out into the kitchen as he followed, watching her walk over to the fridge, "So when are you taking your driving test?" She asked him, knowing he was in the middle of taking lessons again, having to go through the full procedure.
"Next week." Punk said, "I'll have to save up for a car though, so I don't know why I'm so eager to pass." He said, "Thanks." He smiled as she passed him a bottle of water.
"Well at least it will be done and out of the way." She said, "I sat my test thinking I'd get a car and drive everywhere, but I love walking."
"Me too." Punk said, "Everywhere I go is in walking distance. It's just for when Joni gets older. If I wanna take her on road trips and stuff." He shrugged as she smiled.
"I think she'd like that." AJ smiled, "Do you think her mom would ever want to be in her life?" AJ asked curiously.
"Nah, I seriously doubt it." Punk said, "She's way too selfish. And way too fucked up."
"People can change." AJ said.
"Well then she'd have to prove to me that she had changed." Punk said, "But trust me, people like her never change." He said.
"Did you love her?" AJ asked, hoping she wasn't being too forward. She was just curious.
"Yeah." Punk nodded, "She's my daughter's mom. A shit mom. But still her mom." Punk said, "She was sweet when I met her and I fell in love with her, then she just lost herself, started doing drugs, drinking every night, smoked like a chimney." He said, "She became the type of girl that I just wouldn't be with." He said, "We split up when she was pregnant and I'm pretty sure she was off sleeping with other guys." Punk rolled his eyes.
"When she was pregnant?" AJ gasped.
"Yeah." Punk laughed, "The full time I just wanted Joni to be out so I could take her and get the hell away from her." Punk said, "But it turned out she was the one that ran for the hills as soon as she had her."
"Did she even hold her or… do anything with her?" AJ asked.
"No." Punk said, "Doctor put her on her chest seconds after she was born and you know what she said?" Punk asked, "Get it off me it's all blood." Punk said as AJ frowned, "Of course she was completely out her face at this point."
"Sounds like she was never not out her face." AJ said as Punk laughed.
"Yeah, pretty much." He said, "And somehow I was to blame for everything according to her brother, Joey." Punk shook his head.
"As in the guy you took the bate for?" AJ asked as Punk nodded.
"He had this illusion that I was the one that made her the way she turned out to be. And then of course punched me a good few times when I knocked her up." Punk said, "But he stuck around after, he was good with Joni, all the guys were, and then he got in trouble with the wrong guys and where does he go looking for help?" He rolled his eyes.
"I think your friend… dean is it?" She asked, "I think he's right. I think this Joey guy did set you up." She folded her arms with a cocky smile.
"I doubt it. Joey wouldn't have the guts." Punk said, "And despite everything that happened with Kirin, he was still a good buddy to me." Punk said, "I don't think he'd ever do something like that." He said, "They were all like my brothers. Annoying little brothers." He added.
"Sometimes I'm a little glad I don't have any brothers or sisters." She said, "It's so easy to annoy me."
"I've noticed." He smiled, "I keep… I keep forgetting your parents died. I always just assumed everyone put in care was there because their parents didn't want them." He said.
"I don't remember anything about my parents. And I don't have any pictures." She said, "They're pretty much just a big mystery to me." She said.
"What happened to them?" Punk asked, sitting on the kitchen table whilst AJ stood across leaning against the counter.
"It was a fire. So I'm told." She said, "My mom was in the house and my dad had just came home with me from… wherever it was we were, and he ran in to try and help my mom, left me in the car, but… they both didn't come back out." She shrugged.
"You remember it?"
"No." AJ said, "That's just what the ladies at care told me when I was old enough to be told." She said, "Sometimes I feel bad for not getting upset about it. People always expect you to cry when you talk about it but… I didn't know them. I can't get upset over people I don't remember. People I don't even know what they looked like." She said, "Or maybe I am just cold." She shrugged.
"No… I get you." He nodded.
Every one of their meetings were slowly always ending up like these. They went from being strictly professional, to standing in the kitchen talking on a personal level, because they trusted one another with everything, yet none of them could realise that yet.
"And I didn't have any uncles or aunts that could look after me, so I was just put straight in care. Never once had a visit from anyone." She said.
"Nah, me neither." He said, "I used to get jealous of the kids who'd get visits. But then I got to an age where I was just like, you know what fuck my mom and dad, they put me in here, so I don't want to see them." He shrugged, "Obviously it's different for you, but I was so anti parents and anti care it was unbelievable."
"That's the difference between a little girl in care and a little boy." She smirked as he nodded.
"Yeah, maybe you're right."
"I am right." AJ nodded.
"I just want Joni home with me." He said, "I don't like thinking about her in there. I know she's safe and she's ok, but I want her under my roof, I want to be the one putting her to bed and making her dinner. I want to take her to the park and really look after her." He said, "She's my daughter."
"That'll all open happen soon enough." She said, "Do you still have that picture of her that you carry around?" She asked, walking over to him as he pulled out his wallet and pulled out the picture of Joni when she was around the age of two.
He was holding her on his lap whilst his friends were around him.
"She looks so happy to be with you guys." AJ smiled as she leaned into him to look round a the picture. It was so funny to her. Such an innocent, adorable two year old surrounded by five very scary men. It made her smile.
"She loved pulling on Enzo's beard." Punk smiled as AJ looked on at the picture.
"Who is all who?" She asked. She was familiar with all his friends names but wasn't sure who was who in person.
"That's Dean." Punk pointed to Dean, "And that's Enzo and Seth." He pointed out, "And that's Joey." He said as AJ just nodded.
"She looks like she had you all wrapped around her finger." AJ smiled as Punk put the picture back in his wallet and put it in the back of his jeans.
"She did." He smiled, looking up at her as she stood fairly close.
He wish she hadn't come so close because now he just wanted to reach out for her. He still wasn't sure why he was restraining himself from such beauty. He grabbed her hand suddenly as she looked him in the eye.
"What's that?" He asked, running his thumb over the white mark around her knuckle.
"Oh, it's just… a scar." She shook her head.
"What'd you do?" He asked casually, pretending that he hadn't circled his arms around her waist and pulled her in suddenly to his body where she stiffened and had no clue what to do. She thought they weren't doing this?
"I just uh… burnt it on a coal fire… my old apartment." She said, feeling him lift her t-shirt up, leaning down and pressing kisses down her stomach, using his tongue to make her shiver as she lost all control, feeling his tongue roll up and down her stomach, his kisses meaningful and filled with respect, his hands on her sides to keep her from running off. She hated him for this, and suddenly she bit awake.
"No." She stumbled back and pulled her t-shirt down, "Don't do this to me."
"Do what?" He shook his head.
"Lead me on and then in the morning tell me there isn't anything there between us." She said, folding her arms as he stood up straight.
"I never done that the first time." He said.
"You did. You expected me to just shake it off and pretend like it didn't happen." She said.
"I thought that was what you wanted." He said, "You never exactly told me you wanted part two."
She just rolled her eyes and looked across at him as he sat back down on the kitchen table. She hated him for the way he made her feel. When she was mad, she wasn't really mad at him. She still wanted to kiss him right now.
"Why is there only two parts?" AJ said as he looked up and shook his head.
"What?" He said.
"I want more than two parts." She said, walking over to him, pressing her lips against his as he pulled her body into him, picking her up and transferring places, sitting her on the table now and kissing into her lips deeply.
This whole 'pretending they were just friends' thing just wasn't going to work.
A/N: REVIEW and let me know what you think!
