Chapter 8, The Lady With the Green Hair

A/N: A good chunk of this chapter was originally supposed to be the tail end of Chapter 7, but I thought it was already too long at nearly 4k words, so I split it off.


The two hours between the meeting and the start of the tournament went by fairly quickly for the rookies. Everyone with a scheduled match that day was gathered near the simulators, though some had gone into a nearby green room to get some pre-match snacks. Much to Michael's annoyance, the news media had free access to this portion of the mansion during fights, and thus made a hasty retreat towards the green room the very moment he saw people with cameras and press passes enter, leaving Sonic alone with Zelda.

The others meanwhile made the most of their time by idly chatting with each other. The Thunders talked match strategies with Doc Louis, and Bowman approached Samus, asking about the weapons built into her armour. Shaq meanwhile talked to the Mario Brothers. Everyone was waiting for the day's match bracket to appear on the room's big screen so they could see who they were fighting.

"I wonder who's gonna be the first to throw down today," Shaq said.

"It's a mystery to all of us," Luigi said. "I guess we're only gonna know once the bracket goes up."

"I hope it's not too much longer," the seven-footer cracked his knuckles. "I've been itching to brawl since I got here."

"I didn't know you even liked to fight," Mario said.

"I've done a bit. Nothing illegal, mind you, but there's been a couple of times where I got in over my head, and I had to fight my way out."

"Like what?"

"Well, there was this time I was part of a charity basketball game in Tokyo. I decided to go for a quick walk around the city, and- hey, the bracket's going up!"

This caught everyone's attention. Most of the whole room converged to the big screen, while Sonic went into the green room to get Michael.

"'Bout time this thing got finalized," Shaq said. "I've been waiting to kick some ass."

"It should be an interesting year," Mario said. "It might-a be the biggest roster we ever had!" The tournament co-founder could barely contain his excitement.

After some shuffling, the screen showed the final fight bracket. Shaq noticed some of the rookies had question marks in the spot where their opponent's photo would be.

"Wait a minute, so we're not gonna know who we're fighting until we actually step in the arena?" Shaq was incredulous.

"Tradition," the younger Mario brother said. "A mystery challenger is never revealed until their match starts."

"Sounds more like a death trap to me," interjected Bowman, who overheard the conversation. "For all we know, we could be getting set up for failure 'cause we don't know jack about who we're facing 'till after the fact!"

"That's the whole point," Samus said. "A mystery match forces you to think on your feet against an opponent you're not familiar with. "

"I still think it's a bit unfair, especially considering I hardly know anything about anyone here as it is."

"Since we're on the subject of mysteries," Shaq pointed to the room's entrance. "Who is that, and can I get her number?"

Everyone in the group looked to where he was pointing, and saw a tall, young woman with long, green hair talking to Pit. She wore an elegant white dress, with gold bands around her arms and wrists, and a golden crown on her head. Bowman whistled.

"I'm not going to lie, she's probably the finest women I've ever seen," Bowman said, which caused Samus to roll her eyes. "Though, if I had to guess from their interaction, I'd assume she's from wherever Angel Boy is from."

"I don't think it's a total stretch to assume that," Shaq said. "It seems like they know each other pretty well."

"Now that you mention it, I think I've-a seen here last year," Mario said. "I think she was-a Pit's leader or something along those lines. Name's Palutena, if I-a remember correctly."

"Wasn't she the same lady who sent Pit to the Subspace Emissary?" Samus questioned.

At that, Bowman and Shaq looked at each other confused. "Subspace Emissary?" they asked simultaneously.

"It's a long story," Samus said. "Suffice it to say that last year's tournament didn't quite go as planned..."


"I'm not going out there, Sonic. End of discussion."

"C'mon! I understand you don't wanna be around the media, but you gotta know who you're fighting today!"

"Then go out and look for me."

Sonic groaned, and threw his hands up in exasperation. He had spent the last several minutes trying to convince Michael to leave the green room to little success. Michael was extremely distrustful of the news media, and preferred to keep a good distance from them whenever possible.

This was one of those times.

Michael had his back turned to Sonic, his arms crossed. The cobalt hedgehog had considered physically dragging him out the room, but that would have gave more fuel for the media to use against Michael. With no other option, he tried to reason with Michael again.

"Mike, come on." Sonic was practically begging at this point. "None of those reporters are going to kill you! I get it: The tabloids ruined your life and career, and you want nothing to do with them whatsoever. I understand that. But it's not like they're armed with knives and swords to kill you with!"

"Sometimes I wish they were," Michael grabbed an apple from one of many tables of food placed in the room and sat down on the room's couch. "I'd rather be killed than having to deal with those blood-sucking parasites every damn day," the King of Pop spat with an uncharacteristic amount of venom.

Sonic rubbed his forehead. He wasn't getting anywhere. Unable to keep his frustration in check any longer, he snapped at Michael. "And since when did you adopt such a Nihilistic attitude over the press? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, or are you really mad that you were robbed of that death wish almost five years ago when you barely survived a-"

"That's enough, Sonic!" Michael cut the hedgehog off sharply. "We don't talk about that. Ever."

Sonic folded his arms. "It can't be that verboten since you've got a mindset of a death seeker right now." He let out a sigh before continuing. "Listen, Mike. I'm just asking you to join the rest of us out there so you can see who your opponent is. You don't have to talk to the press at all. I'll personally make sure they back off while you're out there. I can guarantee that."

Michael didn't respond. He bit into his apple, and turned his head away from his friend. Sonic let out a defeated sigh, and began to walk towards the door.

"Fine."

Sonic stopped and turned around. "Huh?"

"I'll go with you." Michael got off of the couch. "Even though it'll slowly kill me on the inside."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Mike, the worst that can happen is that they'll take pictures. You're not obligated to answer their questions."

"I'd still rather shove a rusty knife through my skull," Michael deadpanned. "Let's just get this over with."

With no other words, Michael walked to the door and opened it, prepared to face a mob of aggressive reporters...

...Only to find himself staring into the most stunning pair of green eyes he'd ever seen.

For what felt like an eternity, Michael couldn't take his eyes off this young woman. It was almost as if she was a goddess trapped in a world of mortals. Her green hair seemed to give off an ethereal sparkle all on its own, and her eyes seemed to pierce through his soul.

"See something you like?"

Michael blinked. It took him a moment to realize that it was the girl speaking to him. Michael's face turned as red as a ripe tomato. How long had he been staring at her? He could hear Sonic not even bothering to hide his laughter. The girl's face showed amusement at Michael's reaction.

"Heh. You know, I've had men ogle me all the time, but I think you're the first that's ever given me direct eye contact!" Palutena cracked, letting out a laugh of her own.

Michael somehow turned even redder and looked away, mortified. This was the last thing he needed. Deciding to avoid embarrassing himself further, he wordlessly moved out of the way to let her into the green room.

"What a gentleman! You even held the door open!" she joked as she sauntered in. "And they say chivalry is dead."

Michael closed the door and mumbled something inaudible under his breath. Sonic, meanwhile, continued to laugh at his friend's embarrassment.

"I guess your hedgehog friend there enjoys laughing at someone else's misfortune," Palutena remarked. "But I do suppose It's quite rude of me to be making fun of you when I don't even know you at all."

Michael, still acutely embarrassed, shrugged apathetically. "You're far from the first, I'll say that much." He extended his hand out. "I'm Michael. The laughing pine cone over there is Sonic."

Palutena smiled, and shook Michael's hand. "Lady Palutena. Ruler of Skyworld."

Michael did a double take. "Skyworld? As in Pit's home world?" he asked.

Palutena nodded. "Yes. Pit is my right-hand angel, as a matter of fact. Have you met him yet?"

"Yes I have," Michael answered quickly, not wanting to have to tell Palutena about the confrontation involving him. I really don't need to be on a deity's bad side, he thought.

"Ah, good! I hope he was well-behaved. He often has a knack for causing mischief."

Michael forced a smile. Girl, you've got no idea...

"Well, he was pretty chilled out when I met him," Michael said cautiously. "But what brings you here? Did you come to root for him in person?"

"No, actually. I'm here to battle. I was sent an invitation a few weeks ago, so I figured 'why not'? It gives me something to do other than deal with other gods every day." Palutena huffed and rolled her eyes.

This time, it was Michael who chuckled. "I take it being a goddess is mostly politics?" he asked.

"Hah! If only it was that simple! Let me tell you about one time me and Pit had to..." Palutena was interrupted by the sound of yelling, glass breaking, and other assorted violent sounds coming from behind the door. All three Smashers looked towards the door, perplexed.

"What in the sweet name of Mobius is going on out there?" Sonic said.

As if to answer his question, the green room's door was knocked off it's hinges, and a white and black blur came tumbling through. Michael pushed himself and Palutena to the floor, while Sonic did a jumping split to avoid getting caught in the impact. the blur ended up crashing into the far wall of the green room with a loud thud.

"It's always something in this mansion..." Michael muttered under his breath. He carefully got off of Palutena, and pulled her up. "Are you alright?" he asked the greenette.

Palutena grunted as she felt herself being pulled to her feet. "A little surprised, but no physical injuries," she said. "Though I must say, men usually wait until the third date to get on top of me." She let out a playful chuckle. Michael felt the heat rush to his face again, but decided to ignore the comment. At that point, most the other Smashers had already filled the green room.

"Everyone in here alright?" Meta Knight asked.

"Yeah," Sonic said, walking over to the couch. "Just surprised. But why are there two Pits lying here?"

Michael looked over to where Sonic was in confusion. His eyes widened when he saw what was before him.

Two Pits were laid out on the floor, unconscious. They both looked identical, except for the fact that one of them had raven hair and feathers, and wore a black and gold tunic.

"Oh, that's Dark Pit," Palutena said, getting everyone's attention. "Or 'Pittoo', as I like to call him. It's a long story, but let's just say there was another goddess who wanted her own loyal angel servant, and her plan more or less backfired. He's basically the same as Pit, but he's more serious and independent."

Oh, wonderful, Michael thought. I hope he's less of a sheep than his "brother" is.

"Was he invited here too?" Samus asked.

"Yes, along with me," the goddess confirmed. She let out an annoyed sigh. "I told him to stay in his quarters until his match, but I guess he figured out where Pit was somehow."

"They hate each other?"

"Well, Pit has no ill will towards Pittoo, but Pittoo has it in his head that he needs to beat Pit in order to prove himself for some reason." Before she could elaborate, Master Hand appeared.

"I was informed about the commotion down here," he stated. "What happened?"

"It was out of nowhere, really," Michael said. "Me, Sonic and Palutena were just chatting when these two came barreling through the door." He gestured towards the two Pits. Apparently, they were fighting."

"I see," Master Hand began to tense up his fingers. He turned to face the rest of the Smashers. "Does anyone know why the fight started?"

"Not a clue," Doc Louis spoke up. "After the girl went into the green room, Dark Pit showed up out of nowhere, and just started breaking on poor Pit. Everyone was running around trying to separate those two."

Master Hand didn't say anything for several seconds. He simply floated in the middle of the room with his fingers clenched. Eventually, Master Hand simply sighed and turned to Palutena.

"Since this is your first year as a collective, I'm willing to let this incident slide," he said to the goddess. "But only just this once. Pit already has a warning mark next to his name for fighting, and I'd rather not have to kick him out."

"What?!" Palutena exclaimed. "How? Pit would never attack anyone for no reason!"

"He was involved in a confrontation with one of our newcomers," Master Hand said, deliberately avoiding implicating everyone else that was involved. "I only gave him a warning, but I made it clear that I was having zero tolerance on anyone fighting outside of their scheduled matches. And that is all I'm going to say on the matter."

Palutena huffed and folder her arms, but didn't say anything else.

"Having that said," Master Hand continued. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to do some last minute adjustments to today's tournament schedule. Pit and his doppelganger were going to be Michael Jackson's opponents, but now they're both unconscious."

"They were?" Michael said in genuine surprise. He figured Master Hand would keep them separated for a little while after last night.

"Yes, but I'll find a replacement when the time comes. Right now, it's time to get the tournament underway. Get Afro Thunder ready for the simulator." With that, Master Hand scooped up the two Pits, and disappeared. Palutena covered her face with her hands and tiredly sighed.

"Oh, Pit," the goddess said. "No matter the time, place or situation, you always seem to find yourself in trouble." Palutena went over to the couch and flopped down on it.

Gradually, the other Smashers began to leave the room. Michael, however, walked towards Palutena. He was unsure if he should be glad that Pit would be out of his hair temporarily, or be scared that he was essentially about to lie to a goddess who could easily turn him into ashes with a flick of his wrist.

"If I ever find out who got into a fight with Pit, I'm going to make them go though such suffering, even Hades himself will cower in fear."

Fear quickly won out.

"I wouldn't assume that whomever he was fighting with didn't get punished as well," Michael said warily. "Master Hand likely gave them an equal punishment for fighting. Doesn't make things sound any better, but it's not like we even know if he instigated the fight."

Palutena gave Michael a hard look. "He said Pit was fighting with a newcomer," she growled. "And if the information I got earlier is correct, you and your friends were the first of the newcomers to be announced."

"Hey, hold on a second!" Michael threw his hands up defensively. He was scared, but did not want to rat himself or the others out. "Are you trying to accuse me of attacking him?"

"No. And that's mostly because you don't strike me as the type to be causing trouble." Palutena got up from the couch and stood face-to-face with Michael. "But I bet you know who did."

"I don't. I only know he was in a fight, I didn't get to find out who it was with."

"You're lying." Palutena jabbed her finger into Michael's chest. "You were here last night, somebody had to have told you what happened."

Michael, despite being scared out of his wits, shrugged. "I don't pay attention to gossip. It's poisonous, and it only leads to trouble. This is no different."

"I'm sure you don't," the goddess replied dryly. She adjusted her crown, and walked past Michael. "If you want to protect your friends, that's fine, but I will find out what happened to Pit one way or another."

"I honestly don't know anything!" Michael exclaimed.

Palutena simply ignored him as she walked through the now-broken door out of the green room. Michael rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Barely two days in, and I'm striking out everywhere," he muttered to himself. "I can't possibly bury myself any deeper than I already have."