Chapter Eight
"They are coming," I say to myself. I can see people running through the forest, flash lights making their way closer and closer. I can feel the shaking of my body. I can still make it if I run.
"Don't leave without me," I say as I begin to run. That is when I hear a click below my feet and the explosion propels me through the air. As I fall to the ground the impact wakes me up and I see her there, I feel her holding me.
"Hey hey hey...it is okay, it was a dream," she says.
I look around not knowing where I am.
"You are in Capitol, we are here for a mission," she says softly.
The body does not know it was an dream, it feels the pain, the heart feels the abandonment. The thought of being left behind; it brought back all those emotions that happened over fifteen years ago.
"I was left behind," I say. "They were coming for me, and I couldn't move."
She holds me as I put my head on her chest. Running her hands through my hair, she tries to calm me down, by telling me that I survived it, that I am stronger because of it. Looking back, have I really survived if I am still suffering from the effects of it?
"Survived?" I say. "Sometimes I wonder if I truly left that place. It was horrible, and yet no matter the years I still have nightmares about it. When Katniss, will we finally be free of them?"
"The nightmares?" she asks.
I nod yes, knowing already the answer to the question but wanting some type of hope for it. It doesn't happen very often, and I guess being back in this place has triggered the memories to pop back into my mind.
"Peeta, I am here, and we will always have each other, but the nightmares will not just go away. It is why we are the way we are now." she says.
She grabs a small towel that was folded on the night stand and wipes away the sweat from my brow.
"Mom, passed by and gave me this just in case you spiked a fever," she says handing me a glass of water.
I drink the glass and finally can begin to feel like I was back in control.
"Feeling better?" she says.
"A little," I say. "I would love to shoot a little, keeps my mind off things, and gives me the illusion of control."
She stands, looks at me, and tells me hold on a minute as she walks out of the room. After about a couple of minutes she walks in and takes me by the hand.
"Come, got approval to go downstairs to get some shooting," she says.
It doesn't surprise me that she would still have influence here in the Capitol; after all she is the Mockingjay. She is however amazing, just thinking about the things that I had asked for and how she has always been able to come through.
"Did I tell you how wonderful you are," I say.
She turns and says no, that I haven't.
"How were you able to get approval for this," I ask.
"Well I guess you were not the only one that wanted to get some training in," she says. "Someone had already asked, so Plutarch got our old training room opened and place the weapons that we are going to use for the mission."
Guess there are some people that get the same type of itch. We get in the elevator and start to go downstairs. It would be great to be able to shoot with her; it reminds me of our hunting trips. Those are the most relaxing as we are free to hunt, and like I said the time before, the air smells crisper.
Once downstairs I can hear the thump of arrows hitting a target. Katniss walks ahead of me to the training room. Once she peeks in, she quickly turns around and tells me that we should come back. The fact that she is so quick, allows me to know who is in there without her even telling me.
"It is alright," I say. "I don't care if he is there. I didn't have an issue with him then and I don't have an issue now."
She grabs my hand.
"It isn't you that I am concern with," says Katniss.
The comment makes me think. Is this what he was talking about with her? I had always thought it was something different.
"It will be fine," I say walking into the training room. There I see Gale with a bow firing arrows at a target that is a good distance away. He pulls the string back and let's goes of an arrow.
He turns around and gives me a nod, which I respond in kind. The station of bows has all kinds of bows, in shapes and sizes. My hand picks up one that is light to the touch; it is a dark wood color, the string you can tell that it was recently tied so it is extra taunt.
Picking up five arrows I walk back to his spot.
"Learned how to shoot?" he says.
I place one arrow in the notch pulling back the string and letting it fly. It flies through the air and hits a target.
"Have to, only way to eat," I respond.
The face is one of surprise and disdain, surprised probably because I can shoot, but disdain because the eating comment means that I have been hunting with Katniss.
He looks at Katniss which is about a couple feet from me. Her face is expressionless and very much the same as when we were back in the games. Although we do not have to prove ourselves to other Victors or Gamemakers, that same feeling is the same.
With no respond by either of us, he walks further back. He then calls two targets that are higher and farther and smaller.
"See if you can eat," he says letting go of one and then quickly grabbing another arrow and letting it go. Both arrows hit their mark. It is no lie; Gale is still a very good archer.
"Gale," says Katniss. "Don't"
"What Catnip," says Gale. "Only want to know how good he is."
"Honestly I have been through two Games, many Victors, torture of the Capitol, and a war both inside myself and outside, I only came here right now to relax, not to prove anything," I say walking towards another part of the center.
That is when I hear it. It is low, but I can still hear it.
"Just as I thought," he says.
Pulling an arrow I turn and let fly, hitting the same target that he hit. I place the bow down on the stand.
"If you are going to say something, make sure to enunciate, that I learned is a sign a respect," I say.
He walks towards me and up close so that we are eye to eye.
Katniss grabs me and gets in between us.
"I am tired of this," she yells at Gale. "It has been almost what fifteen years, can you just accept it?"
He turns and walks away. Placing the bow on the stand, he holds onto the stand not wanting to turn around.
She turns around, looks me straight in the eyes.
"Can you give me a couple of minutes," she says to me.
Everything in me, wants to say no, but as much as I want, I remember that he was her closet friend.
"Okay," I say.
She walks over to him. He turns around and they begin to talk lowly but still animated. After a couple of seconds he raises his voice.
"You asked me first and I should have gone," he says. "If I did then she would still be alive, and you wouldn't hate me."
"Gale," she says. "She is gone, nothing can change that. I don't hate you for it; I hate the Capitol for taking her from me."
"He," he says pointing at me. "He is me don't you realize that; you have replaced me with a substitute. He is living my life."
She turns and looks at me. Could it be true, could I just be a mere substitute of the life she had always wanted with Gale. I have never thought of that, it is something that causes me to turn and begin to walk away.
"Did I not mean anything to you, that I could be easily replaced, easily forgotten," he says. I stop and turn around, looking at her with her head hang low.
She turns her eyes, fighting back the tears, fighting back the hurt. I don't know how she is able but she keeps herself from falling apart.
"Didn't you at least love me?" he says. "Or was that all a game?"
I make a couple of steps towards her, and Katniss lifts a hand up and tells me that she is okay. She turns to him and with a clear voice.
"Things happened, we cannot go back, I love him," she says. "Can't you understand that? Don't you want me to be happy?"
I can hear her asking this in a serious tone.
"You know what?" she says. "I don't really care if you want me to be happy. I only care about what he thinks."
I hear the footsteps coming after me, until I feel her hand on my shoulder.
"Sorry about that," she says giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Still want to shoot?"
I smile and look down at her hands.
"I rather do what you want to do," I say.
"Hmm," she says. "I have an idea."
The opens slide open and just like that, she leaves Gale in the training room. It may have been one of the things that I have not expected but it happened. The elevator arrives and the door opens. She presses the elevator to the kitchen.
"What do you have in mind, Mrs. Mellark," I say.
"Well I am hungry, Mr. Mellark," she says. "Thought we could get something to eat."
Once we are the kitchen floor, the tables bring back the faces of the other Victors. Those that are no longer here and those we wish we could forget. The door to the kitchen is locked; however Katniss decides to unlock it.
"What do you know it is unlocked," she says with a sly look.
"You know we are not kids anymore," I say.
"Well they need us, don't think they would mind us breaking into a kitchen," she says.
The size of this kitchen is daunting. If my father were alive to see this he would definitely have the same look on his face.
"Katniss, the kitchen is as big as our entire house," I say.
She rushes over to the freezers and starts to open boxes. The selection is this frozen meat here, frozen chicken there, vegetables, even some potatoes, the next freezer and then the one after that. Finally the third one is the one we were looking for as she finds a cheesecake.
"See if you can find some spoons," she says.
I walk around looking in drawers and finding nothing. It seems that this kitchen is used as storage and not as an active kitchen.
"Anything?" she asks.
Finally I see two wooden spoons that are used for mixing. I lift them up and shrug my shoulders.
"Better than nothing, if you didn't find anything we would have to use our hands," she say sitting down on the counter with the spoons.
The smiles on her face, the way she is kicking her feet back and forth, you would have never have guessed that just a couple of minutes ago she had an uncomfortable conversation with her good friend.
She sits there grabbing a piece with her wooden spoon and points the spoon towards me. I open my mouth and she places the cheesecake in my mouth. The taste is delicious, lemon, with a hint of strawberry.
"No, thas deelious," I say.
She giggles, "what did you say?"
Swallowing the cheesecake, I take a breath and say.
"Sorry, now that's delicious."
She smiles and I can see the cheesecake on the corners of her mouth. I grab the little bit from the corner of her mouth with my finger and lick with off.
"So," I say.
"Not right now," she says looking down. "Please Peeta?"
"I want to help you," I say. "Only way is if you let me, but I won't push, just want you to know that I am here when you are ready."
She nods and lets out a sniffle.
"Oh crap," she says. "A tear fell in the cheesecake."
I grab my spoon and dig where it fell. Putting it in my mouth, she looks up, still fighting the emotions, pushing the pain down inside. One of the strongest women I know stands before, still broken even if the years had already past. There are only a handful of people that can penetrate as deep as he can.
"That is exactly what it needed, a little bit more salt," I say.
She stands putting her spoon down and walks over to me. Her hands holding each, almost if she unclasps them, she would just fall into a million pieces. People might say that to give that kind of power to a person is weak, but it shows me that she is truly compassionate.
She places her head on my chest all I can do is wrap my arms around her. This is all it took, and there I can hear the sniffing. The more we stand there the more she breaks down.
It was years later, but knowing the Gale wasn't the cause of the death of Prim, still doesn't help the pain that he has inflicted on her. She misses him, and I know that deep down inside, she misses him. It is a fact that I had to come to terms with.
To be ignorant about the fact that he was a big part of her life would be like placing your head in the sand. We tell each everything though, when we are each ready. We don't push and we don't question, we just let each other heal. The only thing that we both know is that we really love each other.
It takes a couple of minutes before she could speak.
"I was mad at him for such a long time," she says. "I had always thought it was his fault."
"I know," I say.
"That day before my trial, he came and told me that it wasn't him," she says. "I didn't believe him, he had become the thing I hated the most, a Capitol."
She moves away from me and leans on the counter, arms crossed looking straight at me.
"He told me that the only reason he took the job was because he needed the resources of the Capitol, in order to get the answers on the death of Prim," she continues. "He gave me his investigation notes. Where it wasn't him, that the bombs were Beetee's."
"That is why that day when we saw him," I say.
She nods and says "I was so mad, because I allowed myself to think the worst of him. If you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed him."
She starts to shake a little bit; painful memories have that effect sometimes.
"Things had changed though," I said. She lifts her hand to my cheek. "I realized just how deeply I loved the boy with the bread."
I smile and kiss her hand.
"I had to tell him, but he wouldn't listen," she said. "He kept on, and I could see that I was hurting him. Even today, years later, he is angry because well I fell in love with another person that wasn't him."
"I know it must be hard, to lose someone like this, he was a good friend of yours," I say.
She nods and can see that the thought of losing him, is enough to pain that she cannot hide.
"I have already lost him, it is just taking me this long to finally let him go," she says.
"Well you brought me back when I thought I was lost," I say. "We just need to think of a way to bring him back too."
She smiles.
"Always the optimist," she says.
"If you could bring me back from the mess that I was in," I say. "I think we stand a very good chance."
I place my hand out. She grabs it and we walk out of the kitchen. Once we are outside I see April there in the cafeteria.
"Uncle Peeta, Aunt Katniss," she says. "There you are."
"April, where you looking for us?" says Katniss.
"More like who isn't looking for you," she says. "There has been a development; everyone has been called back to the conference room."
We walk with her to the elevator and up to the fourth floor. Once there we see people running around getting military boxes closed. Equipment is being stowed away. Something has happened.
"Well thank you for gracing us with your presence," says Haymitch. "Your cousin really knows how to mess everything up."
The implications of her cousin and I know that Gale has done something that has compromised the mission.
"What has he done?" says Katniss.
"He and Johanna grabbed a hovercraft and equipment and left to the site of the Quarter Quell," says Plutarch. "They have compromised the entire operation. Our timetable has been pushed up and the remaining team will leave within the hour."
She turns and makes a bee line for the elevator. I don't know if she is angry or concerned. I start to walk to follow her, when she punches the elevator door so hard that the door actually moves.
"Yeah, not worried," I say out loud.
The doors open and she walks in. I walk behind her as the doors close. Once inside the elevator she starts to pace around.
"Katniss..." I start.
She lifts a hand up and points at the camera in the elevator. Do you think it is on? Why would they have cameras in the elevator? Was that their before the fall of the old Capitol? I can see though that she is upset, so I wait for her to be the one to initiate the conversation.
Once we are up on our floor and the door closes, we are finally alone.
"Out of all the stupidest... most idiotic," she starts.
"I know," I say.
"I mean what was he thinking," she says. "You know what? He wasn't thinking."
She stomps on the floor.
"When I get my hands on her," she says. "I am going to...I mean I cannot wait to hear whose brainless idea this was."
She walks towards the room and starts to pack the essentials. I start to put on our specially made uniforms; they are made of this material called Kevlar. I hear it is supposedly very strong and can withstand a good amount. It is black, with stripes of brown and green; probably to hide within the plants should we need to. Putting on my boots I look up and see her, already slipping her boots, mumbling something, obviously still fuming about the situation. Next to her is my pack and as I look down to tie my boots, I feel the brunt force of something hit me on the head. Looking down I see my pack, I am guessing she tossed me the pack and which of course I was not ready for.
"Ouch," I say.
She turns and finally is snapped back into reality.
"Oh Peeta, I am sorry," she says.
"That is okay," I say rubbing my face. "You are upset."
"More than upset," she corrects me. "You heard what they did. They can get themselves killed, and in the process probably detonate one of those things and then what? We would have to live underground in Thriteen all over again."
She finally sits on the edge of the bed allowing her time to calm down.
I sit next to her and I rub her arm.
"Don't worry, we will get there, they have a what, thirty forty minute head start," I say. "I am pretty sure that we will be airborne in no time."
After finishing packing we go into the hallway and see the military personnel carrying large crates with the word weapons on the side. They make it down the hall and through the door that leads to the roof.
I walk over to the room next door and knock. The door slides open and I see Liam and April ready to go.
"You guys ready?" I ask.
"We are," says Liam.
They get their packs and walk out to the hallway. Katniss checks the packs and finally tell them to make it up to the roof. They both nod and head down the hall.
I see Katniss's mother walking towards us with a medical pack and a tackle box. I ask to carry the tackle box. She refuses and says that she can handle it.
The elevator dings and I see both Pollux and Cressida getting out of the elevator. They seem serious and have been able to get matching military uniforms.
"You guys ready?" I say.
They both nod and walk down the hallway. I put my hand in my pocket, and can feel the smoothness of the locket. I pull it out and place the chain over my neck and then under my shirt.
Picking up her pack she walks ahead of me through the door at the end of the hall and up the stairs. Once we open the outside door, we see the hovercraft already in the air with the ladder hanging down.
She gets to the base of the stairs and looks back.
"I will be fine," I say. After all she knows how much I love being in hovercrafts. She turns and begins to climb and I am right behind her.
She gets into the craft and grabs the packs from me. She turns back and helps me in. The door slides closed and the pilot is told over the radio to head for specific coordinates, she acknowledges and in takes only a second before the ship starts to move. We are heading back to the Quarter Quell, to save not only the people around the arena but Gale and Johanna.
