Greetings! Hope everyone is well, except for the people who leave the TV volume on odd numbers. You're excluded for a reason. I'll do my best to post longer, more consistent chapters in the future, barring another family emergency. Life happens whether we like it or not, after all. I realize that it's been more than a bit, but I've been busy working on some non-fandom related work, so that's taken up a it of my time. Regardless, enjoy!
Harry Potter had absolutely no clue what was going on. His Aunt Petunia was apparently stuck to a chair, Uncle Vernon was grinning like he did when he made a large drill sale, and two strange men, who apparently not only knew his aunt and uncle, but him as well, were taking immense delight in ribbing Uncle Vernon about some embarrassing story involving pickle juice, a game of darts, and having too much of something called "firewhiskey", whatever that was.
Both strangers stopped talking when he stood up from the table, as if they had just remembered he was in the room with them. They both paled, and almost seemed to sway on their feet as they looked at him. The man wearing a leather jacket stepped forward, getting on one knee so that he was eye-level with Harry.
"Harry, my name is Sirius. I doubt you'll remember me," He swallowed thickly at that. "But I was best mates with your parents back during school, and I'm...well, I'm your godfather."
Harry was stunned. He hadn't known that he had had a godfather. Why hadn't Uncle Vernon told him? Something tickled in the back of his brain. "Are you a wizard?"
Aunt Petunia made a noise like there was something stuck in her throat.
Sirius grinned at that. "One of the best, if I do say so myself." He said as he dodged a slap to the back of the head from the other man who came in with his new godfather. "Right. This pugnacious fellow behind me is Remus Lupin, my roommate, live-in maid- ow! Moony, you're setting a bad example for the kids!"
At the mention of his name, Remus Lupin walked closer, although he seemed almost afraid to go anywhere near Harry. Uncle Vernon unceremoniously shoved him forward, before examining the wall to his right with an innocent look on his face, as the man, Remus, he told himself to remember, almost tripped.
"Harry, It's wonderful to see you again. We would've visited sooner, but-"
"Oh, it's okay! I know I can't keep secrets."
"That...wasn't exactly what I meant, but I suppose that's as good a reason as any." He looked behind his shoulder to Uncle Vernon. "Is it really that bad?"
His Uncle grinned. "Harry, what am I getting for Christmas this year?"
Dudley quickly tried to move across the kitchen, but before he could weave around the crowded room he had blurted out "A new set of golf gloves, a pen set, and a mug Dud and I painted!" He paused. "Oops." he muttered, turning beet red.
All Uncle Vernon did was grin "That answer your question then, Remus?"
Remus didn't seem to want to answer, as his mouth was tightly closed. Had he made the two new men angry? Their eyes were tightly shut, and they weren't making a sound. Until they were. Both almost simultaneously collapsed, laughing so uproariously that their laughter soon turned to mere wheezing, with the occasional glance toward Dudley, who had clamped a hand over his mouth as soon as he was within reach, which only set them off again.
"Harry," Sirius cackled. "That was the most brilliant bit of comedic timing I've seen in ages. Here," He gasped, his laughter finally dying down enough to get his voice under control. "You deserve a trophy for that." He grinned, before removing a long stick from his jacket pocket, flicking it at a dirty dinner plate, and turning it in to a large golden trophy.
Both boys were slack-jawed. Or rather, they both would've been if Dudley's hand hadn't still been clamped tightly across Harry's mouth. The two wizards in the room soon followed suit, as, before their eyes, a letter popped in to existence directly in front of Harry. It opened like a mouth, and began to speak.
"Dear Mr Potter," It said in what seemed to be an elderly woman's voice. "We have received intelligence that a medium level inanimate to inanimate transfiguration was used at your place of residence this evening at twelve minutes past nine"
He saw that Sirius and Remus both looked incredibly confused.
"As you know, underage wizards are not permitted to perform spells outside school, and further spellwork on your part may lead to expulsion from said school." The voice switched to a dull monotone. "Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, Paragraph C".
Both men looked at each other, with Remus muttering something profane under his breath.
The letter switched to it's elderly voice again. "We would also ask you to remember that any magical activity that risks notice by members of the non magical community, more commonly known as Muggles, is a serious offense under section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy."
The letter folded back in to plain paper, now motionless.
There was complete silence in the room as the paper fluttered to the floor. The silence was only broken by Remus as it hit the floor.
"Okay, what the fuck?"
A/N: I also deleted the fic teaser from this story. I'll repost as it's own separate work when it's more polished, as well as closer to completion. Thanks for reading! Shoot me a review!
