HazelGrey/Loreto W/x615Butterlyx/OfeliaWolf/Dark. Heart 'but nobody knows/azul renge/Mayuzu/RaidenNakamura/ougley


Watch Me Remember

By Curiosity Killed Kristy

[Chapter 8: Tears]

He looked at me.

Startled.

Puzzled.

Amused.

"Heh, and what're you gonna do about it?"

There was no minute wasted. My foot pushed off. Arm raised only to knock into a stubborn jaw.

He crashed into a wall. Fell into a heap of trash.

Fucking bastard deserved it.

Heard Nel coughing behind me.

Didn't spare to look at her.

Only focused my energy on the motherfucker who thought he could harm a pregnant girl.

"Stand up. I'm pissed off," I commanded.

Fucker had the nerve to smile. Blood collected at his lip.

"Che, what? You her new guy now?"

I narrowed my eyes. Forced him to stand, my fist wrapped around his shirt's collar.

"That doesn't concern you," I seethed.

I punched him.

Punched him and punched him and punched him.

"Grimmjow, please, stop!"

She gripped onto my arm.

Pleaded for me to end this bastard's suffering.

Her grey eyes began to water.

Tears fell down my arm.

And I stopped.

Threw him away like some common piece of shit.

I wanted to keep hitting him.

Hit him until he died.

He didn't deserve to live.

He didn't.

"If you wanna fucking live, I suggest you leave within five seconds," I growled.

He flinched. Stood to his feet wobbly.

Glared at the crying girl. Stomped his way out.

My head felt hot. My chest rose and fell. My fist pounded onto a brick wall until it bled.

Bled till all my anger was gone.

"G-Grimmjow-san, are you… okay?"

I spun my attention on her. Saw the remains of tears dried on her cheeks.

"Yeah… I'll take you home."

She didn't argue.

We continued to walk in silence.

The moon was a quarter tonight. Still shone bright.

Few streetlamps lit the path, but besides that, it was an eerie night.

Still fucking cold.

I heard her shiver beside me.

I sighed. Unwrapped my jacket.

Lent it towards her.

She looked at it fazed.

Sighed again. "Take it."

She blinked. Waved her arms in denial of my suggestion. "No, you've already done enough, Grimmjow-san."

"You do realize that you're carrying a kid, right? So take the fucking jacket."

She pouted but conceded nonetheless.

Goose bumps rose on my arms.

My stupid sweater wasn't doing me justice.

But I wouldn't allow myself to succumb to such coldness.

Just ignored it to my best abilities.

I looked at her.

She looked…

Saddened.

Betrayed.

I clenched my fists.

Her tear treks were still present, some snow particles landing on her cheek, dissolving it.

Formed a drop to make it look like she was crying silently.

I looked down at the ground. Noticed that some grass poked out from beneath the cracks of the sidewalks.

"…Sorry. I know I got carried away…"

She gazed up at me.

Smiled.

"It was okay, Grimmjow-san. Thank you. If you weren't there… I don't think it would've survived." She rubbed at her belly.

I noticed the round lump. Bristled at the fact that I hadn't taken note of it sooner.

"H-how long have you had that kid?"

She smiled. Continued to rub at it. "Three months…"

She smiled even bigger.

I wondered why.

That baby…

It came from that disgusting bastard.

How could she be happy if she knew that it came from him?

I sighed. Realized that my warm breath caused fog to appear.

Why was she happy?

"Grimmjow-san, is something wrong?" She peered up at me.

Grey eyes reflected me in them.

I swallowed. Continued to trek onwards, only realizing now that I had stopped walking a while ago.

"I'm fine. Is your house nearby?"

"Yes. Around this corner."

And we rounded said corner.

A bright house greeted us. So bright that I could feel the warmth.

"Um, would you like to come inside?" She opened the gate.

Held it open for me.

"I-I can give you tea or something. Please. I just wanna say thank you."

I agreed.

I wouldn't deny a free offering. And besides, she seemed set on me coming in anyway.

She unlocked the door with a key she retrieved from a pocket.

She let the both of us in. Shoes were toed off.

"Nee-chan?" I heard someone call.

A little girl, seemingly about twelve or thirteen appeared in front of us.

Neon-green hair stopped just above her shoulders. A purple eye blinked back at us, the other eye covered by an eye patch.

"Oh, Lilynette, how come you're not sleeping yet?" Nel asked.

"I was waiting for you to come home. The T.V. station's replaying Don Kanonji's new episode right now!"

The kid hauled Nel away. Sat her down in what I was sure was in the living room.

"Lily, calm yourself. It's late at night, and you don't want the neighbors to hear you," a voice boomed beside me.

A woman that looked much like Yoruichi and Halibel trotted down the stairs. Crossed her arms.

"Aunt Mila Rose, it's fine! The neighbors won't do anything!" the girl squealed, waving her hand nonchalantly.

Her aunt just sighed. Fixed her light-green eyes onto me.

"Who are you?" she hissed.

Probably thought I was Nel's paramour or some shit. Considered that maybe she was cold to other guys 'cause of that bitch that knocked Nel up.

But even so, my anger flared at the tone she took with me.

"Ah, this is Grimmjow. Aunt Mila Rose, Grimmjow-san. Grimmjow-san, Aunt Mila Rose." The woman still glared at me. I stared right back with the same flames in my eyes.

"Aunt Mila Rose, please. He's fine. I just invited him in for some tea…"

I raised an eyebrow at that.

She didn't mention that ex of hers meeting heads with her.

Mila Rose crossed her arms. Eyed me up and down.

That irked me.

She sighed. "All right. I'm going to bed. There's some leftovers in the fridge if the both of you get hungry. Good night."

She kissed Nel's forehead, proceeding to do the same with Lilynette who wasn't so pleased with it.

"Um, I'll brew us some right now. Can you wait for a while?" Nel asked.

I nodded.

"Oh, and please. Make yourself at home."

Immediately, she scurried into the kitchen.

I roamed my eyes around me.

Noticed that the place was decorated in the style of Americans, not the Japanese.

Then I felt it.

A stare directed at me.

That girl, Lily or whatever, leaned her chin over the couch, her eye scrutinizing me.

"Are you after my sister, too? 'Cause if you are, she's pregnant."

Too?

My eyebrows rose at that.

"No. I just work with her."

The girl pouted.

"They always say stuff like that," and with that, she turned back to her show.

After that, no sound came but from the T.V.

I sat down. Whirred my eyes around my surroundings.

Then it landed somewhere it probably shouldn't have.

A picture of Starrk, a woman I didn't know, and Nel and her sister when they were much younger.

I looked closer.

I had always thought Starrk and Halibel had been together for a long time.

But wait…

That wasn't Starrk.

It looked like it.

But it wasn't.

"Those two are my parents."

I jumped. Rotated to see Nel holding a tray of tea.

"Looks like Uncle Starrk, right?" she giggled.

"But it's not," I disagreed. She nodded.

"Yes. My mother and father… they died in a car crash a long time ago. That's how I got this scar." She lifted a strand of her bangs; pointed to a jagged, healed wound that ran from her forehead to the side of her nose. "Lily lost sight in one eye."

She stared at the tea tray in her hands.

Melancholy, gray eyes.

"After that, Uncle Starrk took care of us. Then, he married Aunt Halibel, and Aunt Mila Rose suggested we stay here." She smiled at the thought.

Kept smiling.

And jolted back to life. Giggled.

"Oh, sorry. Got carried away." Giggled again. "Let's go sit down at the dinner table."

And we did.

It was silent.

Peaceful.

She talked about her parents more.

That it was Starrk's brother who was in that picture.

How she had forgotten who her mother was through the accident.

She only remembered the face.

Not the name.

That she didn't want to remember her mother's maiden name.

Because if she didn't remember who her mother was, it would be much less painful.

Heh.

You and I both.

XXXX

I continued home.

Realized that the clock's arms were nearly striking the number two.

Ichigo was probably asleep already.

And damn, I dropped the sodas in that alley.

A freezing wind picked at my hair.

I wrapped the jacket even more tightly 'round me.

Seemed snow was picking up, so I jogged the rest of the way.

My chest and throat burned, but hell, I didn't want to freeze to death either.

Faster than I had expected, I was at home.

Wheezing and freezing.

"Ichigo… I'm home!" I called out.

Nothing answered me but the echo of my voice.

I grinned.

Moron was probably dozing off like a baby already.

I shoved my shoes off.

Hung my jacket.

Brushed my teeth.

Shit, I need to change clothes.

I opened the door into what used to be our room together.

And I saw that familiar lump beneath the blanket.

As I expected, he was smiling like an idiot even when in slumber.

I chuckled to myself.

Grimaced when the thought came across that I was giggling to myself like a fucking girl.

He was the only one to make me react like this.

I rubbed my cheeks.

Tried to diminish what was probably the hugest blush in my life.

Then I looked back at his sleeping face.

At his lips…

I hadn't kissed him for months now…

And I was beginning to forget how he tasted and felt.

I thought.

Thought and thought and thought.

He was asleep… right?

And he wouldn't remember anything, much less feel anything.

Right?

I lowered myself next to him.

Saw that huge grin on his face.

Brought a grin on mine.

I rubbed the pad of my thumb over his bottom lip.

Dry.

Yet, soft.

I'm only doing this because… I don't want to forget his lips.

That was the only thing.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I felt his steady breathing hitting the tip of my thumb.

Neared him until there was no room to even swallow air.

Stared at closed lids.

And just to make it seem real…

I closed my eyes too…

I could nearly feel his top lip brushing mine.

Inhaled the scent that was Ichigo.

What once was mine…

Brows furrowed.

If I went through with this… how the hell was I supposed to stop?

Could nearly feel his bottom lip nick my own…

My breaths were shaky as fuck.

I… just want this to be something normal.

Where I didn't have to beg on my knees to whatever fucking god was out there for his memory to return.

Where I didn't have so much frustration trying to keep my hands away from him.

Where I didn't have to sneak kisses just to feel him one more time.

"What are you doing?"

Blue eyes emerged from beneath olive-toned lids. Navy blue locking with specks of honey-brown and orange flecks.

I pushed off of the bed like I was tugged by a rope. Heart beat so incredibly fast that I could just collapse right here, right now.

Ichigo backed himself against the bed. Stared with bewildered eyes.

"G-G-Grimmjow! Were you just about to kiss me?" he asked with disbelief.

"F-fuck no! I-I was just-"

Making a fool of myself.

"What the hell, Grimmjow? I was asleep, while you were trying to cop a feel on me!" he shrieked.

"A-all right, just calm the fuck down!"

"Calm the fuck- do you expect me to calm down after that? After what happened today, I am entitled to be pissed off! This adds more to the list!" he continued to rant. "Do you know how hurt I was, when you pushed me away like that at the library?"

Brown eyes spoke of pain. Of worry.

"Grimmjow… I'm so sorry… I just- this situation… it's hard to accept." He paused.

Took a breath.

My heart felt like it was breaking.

Crumbling.

"I try… and try to remember who you are. Why I did all of this. Why it's ending up hurting you instead of helping you. I…"

I waited.

And waited.

"Tell me what I can do to set things right for you…"

And when he looked up… I froze.

Tears swam in his eyes. Filled to the brim until it cascaded down his cheeks.

"Ichi…" I muttered.

"I don't-" Hiccup. "I keep hurting you. I can see it in your eyes, and… I wish that I can just love you the way I used to. But I can't… and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

He continued to cry.

And cry.

And cry.

Ichigo, tell me what I'm supposed to do…

What am I supposed to do when you're like this, Ichigo?

"I don't know how to react to you. I-" Hiccup. "One minute you're mad, the next you're hurt. I-I don't know why… but it hurts me too…"

Tears kept falling. Over and over again.

"So, please. Just tell me what I'm-"

He stopped.

Grew stiff.

Felt my arms wrapped around him so tight. And the words fell freely from my lips…

"Don't cry anymore, Ichigo."