This story was written in collaboration with my best friend and more often my moral compass Platinum Rose Lady
We solemnly swear that we do not own Harry Potter and his world
Deprogram
Chapter 8
Christmas was a month away and after many months of very invasive therapy Hermione emerged with a better understanding of what had happened the night she tried to be intimate with Ginny. Her therapists (one muggle, one witch) had discovered through spells and hypnosis that Hermione's mind had suffered through somewhat of a split. Although not a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (or DID), she has been displaying symptoms of it.
The diagnosis defines this disorder as at least two personalities that routinely take control of the individual's behavior with memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness. This disorder is linked with overwhelming stress and intense trauma. People diagnosed with DID often report that they have experienced severe physical and sexual abuse.
Some of the symptoms Hermione has been experiencing since that night with Ginny have been; Multiple mannerisms which is attitudes and beliefs that are not similar to each other, distortion or loss of subjective time, depression, flashbacks of abuse or trauma, lack of intimacy and personal connections and frequent panic/anxiety attacks.
When Ginny and Hermione arrived home from the therapist's office after receiving this diagnosis Hermione instantly went into her apologies and suggested a divorce. She felt Ginny deserved a full life with a stable partner. Ginny let her rant and logically explain why this was the best solution. She sat quietly and listened to Hermione's over analytical brain map out a course of action, as she was winding down Ginny already knew her answer.
"And of course I'd give you full custody of Hope so with Draco's help you should have everything you need to care for her. Unless you don't want her and then I'm sure Draco and Cameron would take her." Hermione concluded in tears sitting down next to Ginny. "Well what do you think?" asked Hermione
"No." was all Ginny said as she stood up
"No? What do you mean No? Ginny we can't ignore this. We have to have a plan."
"We won't ignore it but we're not divorcing over it either. I refuse and I hate to do this honey but as a pureblood I have to agree to the divorce, at least until the law is changed. So we will work through this or work around this. We'll do whatever it takes but we will NOT divorce over this." Ginny argued as she paced
"You're gonna pull pureblood rank on ME?" Hermione asked in shock
"If it stops you from leaving I'll do whatever it takes." Ginny said
"Ginny I may never be right, you heard the doctors this could take years with slow progress at best." Hermione pleaded
"You goin' anywhere? Cuz I was under the impression you were spending the rest of your life with me! You promised, you vowed. Didn't that mean anything?"
"Of course it did but this was not something we could have foreseen, it changes every…"
"It changes NOTHING, better or worse, sickness and health…" Ginny takes a deep breath and sits next to Hermione whose still crying. "Luv, if I was paralyzed in a quidditch accident…would you divorce me or take care of me?"
"That's different..." Hermione whispered
"It's not…you're brain is paralyzed." Ginny said gently
"I don't want you to stay with me out of guilt!" Hermione shot back
"I stay with you out of love. Forsaking all others. We knew there was a possibility that something like this could happen. I can't just let you go without a fight. I fought and killed death eaters to bring you back to me. I can fight this and if we can't fix it…we'll learn to live with it." Ginny kneels in front of Hermione with her head in her lap. "Please Mia. I need you, whole or broken I don't care."
Hermione strokes Ginny's hair "I haven't heard you call me 'Mia' in a long time." and Ginny can feel silent teardrops falling on her head from Hermione's eyes. Ginny lifts her head to meet Hermione's eyes. "Whatta ya say Mia?"
"I can't say no to you." Hermione smiled through her tears
"That's my girl" Ginny leaned up and kissed her wiping her tears away "Are you sure you don't want the memories removed?" Ginny asked sitting next to Hermione on the couch.
"No. I think it'll make it worse when you have to put them back, it would shock me all over again." Hermione explained
"Well we have time; we'll work with your doctor's and see what they suggest."
"I'm lucky to have you." Hermione confessed
"Yes you are, and you'll always have me." Ginny laughed
March found Draco and Cameron married, they were generous enough to combine their reception with one for Hermione and Ginny since the same people would be attending both functions. Hope made a beautiful flower girl.
Hermione's therapy was a mix of different schools of thought. It mostly centered on keeping her "alternate" personality feeling safe. The 'Alter' as it was referred to, only surfaced when Hermione felt threatened. A lot of the exercises were about trust and safety. She still displayed symptoms but they weren't as severe as that first night. Her panic attacks were minimal and she was making real progress with everyone…accept Ginny. Hermione managed to go to Diagon Alley shopping with Luna and be approached by classmates who would come right up and hug her. She walked to classes in Hogwarts with her friends and teachers. She even took Hope to visit Draco in his office in London alone. When it came to Ginny that was the hardest part. Ginny and Hermione had therapy exercises to do in the privacy of their bedroom. It was common practice for Harry to take Hope out of the house when these events were going on and have Luna on standby incase they got out of hand.
To the doctors it was obvious that Ginny was the main trigger for the Alter because of the heinous things Lucius did to Hermione while he looked like Ginny. Ginny was furious and if she had her way she'd raise him from the dead and kill him again. At night his final words plagued her dreams
Flashback
"You may think you have her back…but she'll always be MINE!" he taunted
Ginny turned the screw at the top of the device and the instrument in his ass began to open.
"Arrrrghhh, good luck undoing all my work, she's more useless now then she was before. Every time you touch her she'll feel ME, every time you kiss her she'll taste my lips, she'll feel ME, she'll never go back to being the person you love…I've made sure of that. She'll never recover…and you'll be looking for any excuse to leave her…arrrggghhh!"
She woke up screaming most of the time and when Hermione asked her what was wrong she'd lie and make up a war flashback. There was no need to make Hermione feel more guilt.
The exercises Ginny and Hermione were doing were designed to push Hermione's trust in Ginny. They would attempt to get intimate and Ginny would talk to Hermione to remind her that she's not Lucius and she loves her. Each exercise was meant to bring them closer and to make Hermione and the Alter comfortable sharing that level of intimacy with Ginny. On Hermione's end it was working, slow at first. There were several flare ups of the Alter "waking up" and protecting Hermione. Ginny took these opportunities to try and reason with the Alter. Eventually it worked. When the Alter was present Ginny could show her just how much she loved Hermione. Ginny even told the Alter to access Hermione's memories of Ginny not the Lucius/Ginny but the real Ginny. It was slow going but some progress was made.
During one particularly harrowing session Ginny was arguing with the Alter.
"All you ever do is talk about her! You don't care about me at all." Said the Alter
"That's not true; I want us all to be able to work together." Ginny tried to reason with her
"You keep trying to get rid of me. Don't you see I'm better then she is, I don't go away when you touch me. I enjoy it. I love you." The Alter walked slowly over to Ginny and began caressing her neck and ears "don't you love me Ginny? Make love to me right now. Hermione wants to…I can feel it. We need you." The Alter led Ginny to the bed where they both laid down. The Alter was beginning to come on to Ginny and she was very aggressive.
Just take her, it's been years. Hermione will never know. It's not like your cheating it is Hermione. You never know, it might help. Ginny's inner voice was working overtime coaxing her to give into her urges.
As Ginny had the Alters' top unbuttoned and was about to place her mouth on her breast when Harry burst through the door stupefying them both. He left Hermione on the bed but brought Ginny downstairs before removing the spell.
"Harry what the hell..? Where's…" started Ginny looking at her surroundings
"She's upstairs asleep, I was monitoring you like I'm supposed to. You were about to do something that you'd regret." Said Harry handing her a glass of firewhiskley
"You don't know what I'd regret." Ginny spat back downing the drink
"I know you Ginny and you'd regret THAT. I know you're frustrated and angry and you feel helpless. Maybe you need a break." Harry poured her another drink
"Sure I'll just abandon my sick wife and take a lovely holiday in the country. That's great Harry, any more ideas?" Ginny scoffed
"I meant…why not get some…polyjuice and Hermione's hair and …"
"Harry! Are you asking me to cheat?" Ginny asked
"Well…I guess…I don't know, maybe a hooker…random muggle in a bar. I'm not good at this stuff but you need the release how long has it been?" he asked
"Almost 3 years." Ginny said sadly
"It's not healthy for you to go on like this. It's making you do crazy things. You're not thinking right." Said Harry
"I'll be fine, I can handle it, we'll get through this." Insisted Ginny
Just then Luna popped in. Harry and Ginny turned to her
"Honey what are you doing here?" he asked as he kissed her
"I asked her to come." Said Hermione coming down the stairs
Ginny approaches her with caution "Mia?"
"Yes Gin it's me, please everyone sit down." Asked Hermione
Once everyone was seated Hermione addressed them
"I heard you and Harry talking Gin," Hermione began
"I can explain…" Hermione puts up her hand to silence Ginny
"There's no need, I agree with him."
"What?" Harry and Ginny said at the same time
"Let me explain before you get mad. Gin I love you but this is torture for you and I know it. I cannot keep…" Hermione blushes "getting you aroused and then stopping it…it's not fair. Hear me out please." Hermione said as Ginny was about to protest
"There is a law, a pureblood law which states if a wife cannot perform her duties the husband can take on a mistress until such time that the wife either improves or dies. It goes on to give the provisions the husband must make for said mistress like a place to live and an allowance but that's not the point right now. The point is it's your legal right to take a mistress so if you won't allow us to divorce I demand you get a mistress. Before you speak let me just say that I did my research and this law does apply to our situation. The Hermione Granger Memorial Library has a very extensive law section" Hermione concludes and sits down in an armchair smugly.
"Are you crazy?" Ginny asked
"Technically? Yes. That's why we're here" Hermione retorted
"I can't do that. Law or not it's still cheating. I love only you." Ginny said
"I know you do…but love and sex can be very separate things. You're hurting and this is a way to fix it. Legally." Hermione explained
"Legally, yes, but what about morally? I wasn't raised in all that pureblood tradition. It would bother me, wouldn't it bother you?" Ginny asked confused
"It bothers me more that you were thinking about having sex with…the Alter. Clearly Ginny you need to do something."
"Ok...say I agree to this insanity…and I'm not saying I am, how would we go about procuring me a mistress? Do you have a number for mistresses' r us? Do I put an add in the Quibbler or Prophet? Married gay white witch with crazy wife seeks female mistress for purposes of sex. All expenses paid. It's not gonna be that easy luv" Ginny and Harry laugh but Hermione and Luna do not. Luna gets up and moves closer to Hermione.
"Well that's where Luna comes in." Hermione said as Luna takes her hand
"What? NO WAY!" Ginny yelled after realizing what Hermione was getting at
"But Luna is with me" protested a confused Harry
"So a hooker is ok but Luna's off limits?" Ginny said sarcastically as Harry shot her a look
"Well according to law since I'm a pureblood our relationship technically doesn't exist and Hermione as the sick wife gets final approval over the mistress, who has to be a pureblood." Luna said
"Luna don't you see this as cheating?" asked Harry with Ginny nodding in agreement at his side
"Not at all, Harry I love you with all my heart. But it's like Hermione said, love and sex can be separate, and it's not like I'll be shagging Ginny all the time. Maybe a few times a month, once a week, whatever we work out. The law was originally intended for making pureblood heirs; we don't need to do that. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with healing." Luna said
"This is how you feel? Both of you? This is what you want?" Harry asked Luna and Hermione they both nodded "then I consent to this…whatever it is…arrangement." Harry conceded with a sigh. Luna went over to Harry and kissed him
"Ginny? Please I don't want this to destroy our lives. If there's any chance I'm gonna recover I don't want you to resent me. Please baby?" Hermione asked. Ginny looked back and fourth between them all and sighed
"I can't say no to you…" Ginny conceded as well
"I know, I was counting on it." Hermione smiled "Luna and I have worked out a few details."
"Here we go…Hermione's list..." announced Harry as Hermione shot him a look
"First, anything you two do will not be done in this house or Luna's out of respect for your partners. Secondly anything done doesn't need to be discussed with the partners unless agreed upon and Luna has decided to forgo the…umm…customary fee. "
Everyone nodded in agreement
"May I ask why you chose Luna? I mean we know a lot of other pureblood women who are single. I'm not complaining…just curious." Ginny asked
"Total honesty right?" Hermione began; Ginny shook her head "Well a lot of those pureblood women are descendants of death eaters and I don't want you around that element." Hermione said reasonably. Ginny looked at her hard
"OK, I know there are more then that…" Ginny probed. Hermione sighed
"And most of the women we came up with…had crushes on you at some point…there I said it." Hermione blurted out
"Oh see, this WILL bother you, you're jealous. You think I'll fall in love with some pureblood bimbo." Ginny said teasingly
"It's not like that, not really. It's more insecurity then jealousy. What if you really hit it off with the mistress and find it's easier to be with her then to stay with me when I'm so broken and useless." Hermione confessed
"So that's it, Luna and Harry are so happy that me being with Luna would not be a threat to our relationship or theirs. Luna would never want me for herself like some other women would. Honey you aren't broken to me and you could never be useless, you know that would never happen. I love only you."
"Yes, I'll admit I feel very secure and comfortable with Luna, I know she won't be trying to convince you to dump me in St. Mungo's and run off with her."
"Ginny if you want to choose another pureblood I won't be offended." Said Luna from Harry's lap
"Well Pansy Parkinson was looking pretty damn good at Draco's wedding..." Ginny joked.
Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. "Absolutely not." Hermione said before Ginny could get the sentence out
"But I wouldn't even know how to ask someone that, what would I do hold try-outs?" Ginny joked to Hermione's discomfort. She walked over to Hermione's chair and sat on the arm. "Don't worry Mia; no one can hold a candle to you."
