A/N: Okay, as requested here is another chapter. I do want mention based off of some of the comments I've gotten that this is a complex story to write...you have no idea. I did want explain that this is stream of consciousness style from Shizuru with the occasional shifting into parts of the days that challenge Shizuru and Natsuki.

Disclaimer: All character of the Mai Universe belong to Sunrise.

A Day At A Time by kara papas

Words

Devotion is a lesson and trial of Love's madness. I often find myself saying those two, lessons and trials, are the same thing. Although I am certain when is comes to love those items are different. A lesson is something you learn from, and with love lessons are a dime a dozen. I have learned much since being completely apart of my Natsuki's life. My brazen lover is a woman with an unspoken set of rules. Natsuki hates it if she is not heard when speaking passionately about a subject that enlightens her spirits. I have learned always to give my complete attention to her, and let her know that I am listening. I always do want to know what she has to say, but when I was drained my spirit did not want to be bugged.

Trials are something that I wish I could do without. They are the moments of uneasiness, small quips, deceit, and world shaking arguments that have no rhyme or reason. However I know with devotion, trials are bound to happen. Trials are, in my opinion, where you must endure those moments of obvious deceitfulness and such. The moments your argument spins out of control and words are thrown like daggers. I often find that arguments like those bait our baser instincts. I am no saint or angel. I am not immune to any of my baser instincts. Natsuki brings out the absolute best in me, and the utmost demonic evils in me. Natsuki is far better at knowing how to endure with trials. Her spirit of devotion has a character that mine does not know. She may have the most tumultuous set of moods, but she had the ability to stop herself before it was too late. Again words can be like daggers, and I have an irrationality that is difficult to combat.

"Why are you getting so worked up about this?" Natsuki said in tone that sounded frustrated.

"Why? How can you ask that?" I said with a frantic tone.

"Seriously..." Natsuki bluntly responded. I looked over to her seeing her walking over to where I was seated.

"Natsuki, this is our account! If you keep spending money on nonsense bullshit I won't..." Natsuki was right by me. My heart beat as if I was stand at the feet of Death. Natsuki's expression was cold and her emerald eyes glimmered with fury. She grabbed the tablet I had in my lap and tossed it on her chair across the room.

"You need to just calm the fuck down and stop being fucking..." Natsuki's lips pursed in front of me. She gritted her teeth and looked away. She took slow breaths deeply through her nose and exhaled through her mouth as she stepped back. I felt myself retract on the inside as my mind filled in the blank of Natsuki's vulgar statement.

"Natsuki, you can be such mean girl at times, but to speak down at me like that." It was a low growl from my own throat. "Is that what I am to you. Just some bitch who works all day and night for you?"

"I did not say it. You are blowing this up." Natsuki said in an awkward angry and hurt tone.

I played over the completed statement in my mind over and over. My wits started to fly away with every repeat. It latched onto my senses and shackled my logic. Sensibilities are so fragile when words of debasement dashed against the heart. Times like these words of wisdom flicker into my mind from the most random of childhood memories. Whispers of reason and wisdom truly were hushed.

These things too, shall pass my sweet orchid...

The swelling anger makes all my word as poisonous. The violent body language I was met with from my brazen wife was now all but gone. Natsuki stood before me with an expression of hurt. How, I thought, could she feign the plight of your actions? I must have appeared heartless in that moment.

Remember...once something is said it cannot be unsaid...

I slapped my hand over my mouth as if to say the words had a life of their own. What hell is this? I often forget that reality is what is my now. The fantasy of being some magical girl was far gone. In fact it felt like another world.

Love is the greatest power on Earth my orchid...

I stood up and my vision just seemed to tunnel edged with a vicious haze. Escape. My legs won't go. A hand is reaching out for me. I felt like caged wild animal and I lashed out. The sound of my hand contacting with Natsuki's jolted me.

"You don't have the right to touch me right now." My tone was so cold to Natsuki, but I cannot be there. I cannot be near her. I will say something, and it will destroy my world. I will destroy Natsuki again.


Sorry for the short chapter. Life and work jumble together.