Confessions
Bella met me at her house after school. She brought my homework, which was something that I hadn't asked her to do. We sat in her kitchen doing homework for hours. She glanced at me and I stared at her, but we didn't speak. I wasn't ready to say anything yet.
"Annie, it's been three hours, are you ever going to tell me what's up?" Bella asked as she closed her history book.
"Want to go for a drive?" We wrapped ourselves up in jackets and gloves. We jumped in my Jeep and headed out.
Bella was asking questions at the beginning of the ride, but I only gave vague answers. After ten minutes she gave up and enjoyed the drive. She stared out the window; the music was the only thing filling the car. Once I turned off the road we were on and heading through a wooded dirt road, Bella stopped staring out the window and stared at me.
"Annie what are we doing here?" I stopped the Jeep and stepped out into the misty field. Bella followed me reluctantly. I walked out to the middle of the field, taking my place on a mound of dirt, Alice's pitching mound.
"It's been almost half a year since they've left. I thought I could handle living without them." Bella stayed near the car, I was practically screaming at her.
"Annie, what are you doing? What's going on?" Bella asked concerned. I looked at her with a small smile on my face. I turned around to take in the baseball field.
"I'm sick, Bells." She looked at me with confusion. "Carlisle was taking care of me, but since he's AWOL, I've got a new doctor. I saw him today, that's where I was during school."
"Annie, you're scaring me?" Bella said, cautiously taking a few steps toward me. "Please tell me what's going on."
"I'm dying."
After that Bella and I had headed home. She didn't want to talk anymore. We were both sleeping in her room, sharing her bed. The darkness was comforting for me. It made me feel as though I could open my eyes and be anywhere.
"Annie?" Bella whispered. We were both lying in the dark pretending to sleep. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I always knew I was going to die young, but I thought it would happen a little later." I stared out the window looking at the trees swaying in the small storm outside.
"Do you want to talk about it, or…them?" Bella's voice sounded unsure, but I let a small smile come over my lips.
"I won't unless you want to hear it. I know it's hard."
"Tell me one thing, how'd you get your scar? The one like mine on your shoulder." I unconsciously leaned and touched the side of my face to the cool skin.
"I was thirteen, and it was snowing outside. Alice was playing with me, hide and seek in the trees. I knew she wasn't really playing fair, but it was still fun. I climbed up a tree too high and fell. Jasper got too me first, but he was still too new at the vegetarian thing. I remember the pain and the stinging sensation. The boys pulled him off and Carlisle sucked the venom out. That's how he knew what to do for you."
"But you're so close to Jasper, that didn't change anything?"
"It actually made us closer. Jasper was never really close to me, until after he came back completely hating himself. I loved him." I ran a finger under my eye, wiping away the few tears that collected. "I broke up with Travis."
"I knew you weren't happy." Bella laughed softly. I nudged her with my elbow.
"If you were so smart why didn't you say anything about it, huh?"
"What are you doing next year?" She asked slowly.
"I don't know how much of a next year I have, but I think college some place sunny, expensive, and prestigious." I laughed a little. "Amazingly enough I applied to a handful of high class schools. You should come with me."
"I haven't applied anywhere yet. I can't decide what I want to do."
"Time's running out, Bells, you have to something. I don't think Charlie wants you freeloading off him forever."
"Are you kidding me, he'd love it if I stayed home with him." We laughed together and finally after hours of silly gossip and after graduation plans, we fell asleep.
Bella was the closest friend I had, I felt like I could tell her anything. Yet, there were so many things I couldn't tell her. I was heartbroken just like her, but instead of suppressing the pain I wanted to walk through it. Rose and Alice, even Esme, would sit with me as I cried over a boyfriend. They talked with me, reassured me. That's all I wanted now. I wanted to be held in Carlisle's arms and let him tell me there was nothing to worry about. Tomorrow was going to be different, I felt it. We would go see Jacob and the pack, stay there all day, but I felt like I should be going something else.
