CHAPTER 8
-3 Months Later-
"Arizona, are you sure you're ready to go back to work babe? Callie said you could—" Carley asked, trying her best to avoid pissing the blonde off. "No. I was cleared to go back yesterday. I am ready. I need to get my department in order. And frankly, if I have to look at the inside of this apartment for even one more hour, you'll be committing me into the psych ward." Arizona had made it through her 10 weeks of physical therapy with ease. She did every thing her PT said to do and then some. She had been to a dozen or more appointments with Callie and with each passing visit her feelings for the woman grew stronger, while her feelings for Carley almost disappeared. Last week, when Callie had ordered the last 2 physical therapy appointments she had stayed in the exam room with Arizona a little longer than her usual speedy exam followed by an exit while writing in the chart to avoid the awkward goodbyes. Arizona had the words on the tip of her tongue. The words she had wanted to say for the past 10 weeks. Callie had the table by the exam chair, writing in Arizona's chart for the last time. She knew it was her last chance to tell Callie how she felt. How she wanted to make this all better. But before she got the nerve to speak, Callie's phone rang and she answered it with a smile. "Hey you. I didn't expect you to call so early. Oh, no, I'm almost done. Pretty close. I'm headed to Tina's room now. Oooh, yea. Cream and sugar." Callies smile that once melted Arizona's heart, now made her feel sick. Because the smile on her face was there because of Sam. Callie turned to face Arizona, the phone still pressed against her ear and offered a smile. She told Sam to hold on for a minute before speaking to Arizona. "Ok, so you're all set up. And your clear to come back to work in the next week. Any questions?" All the words the blonde had prepared seemed to leave her brain as she shook her head 'no' with her shoulders slumping. And with that, the Latina continued her conversation and walked out of the exam room. Her last shot, gone.
That was 7 long days ago, and she had only been to the hospital once during that time for her PT and to put a box of her belongings into her new office. She had gone to grab a coffee in the cafeteria, when she spotted Callie and Sam sitting at one of the tables there, looking awfully cozy. She started to turn and run in the opposite direction when Jo and Alex spotted her. They struck up a conversation with their new attending, making their excitement of working for her known. She only heard every other word they were saying as she was drawn to stare at Callie. At one point the ortho doctor locked eyes with her, but Callie was the first to look away. It wasn't long after that and she left the hospital. She was home alone luckily and she let herself cry until she literally passed out from exhaustion. How did she let this blow up on her this way? Why couldn't she have spoke up when Callie gave her more chances than one? Now, it was too late. Now Callie was well on her way to being in love with Sam, if she wasn't already and it couldn't be further from what she wanted. She decided that she needed to be able to turn her brain off for the rest of the evening. So she took a shower, made her some hot tea and went into her bedroom to pop in a DVD so she could escape from the world. At least for the next 118 minutes. She didn't wake up when Carley came home, and much to her surprise she slept through the entire night. Only waking up when the sun poked itself through the window the next morning.
She got ready for work, moving around the apartment quickly, in hopes of making it out without having to have a conversation with Carley about how different she had been as of late. She reached for her briefcase and purse and opened the closes to grab a sweater. Carley walked over to kiss her goodbye, but Arizona turned her face to offer only her cheek. Then Arizona was gone. Walking through the doors of the hospital, she made a silent vow to not let seeing Callie and Sam get to her. And as if luck were on her side today, she quickly learned that today was Callie's day off. She would only come into the hospital if she were paged considering she was on call. And for this, Arizona gave thanks.
Her day was going by quickly. She scrubbed in for 2 surgeries back to back and then assisted Miranda Bailey on one of her surgeries. Needless to say, it did wonders for her attitude. She clicked well with both Alex and Jo and she felt the tinge of excitement in seeing the huge potential that Alex had. She swore she saw another in the man. Only the less hotter and awesome version. The two interns, who were both on the island with her and the others, were showing her completely different sides of themselves and she truly enjoyed her first official day. So when they invited her to Joes after work for a drink she happily accepted. She called Carley to let her know that she would be at Joes, but Carley ruined any ideas of a night out with friends when she said, "Great! I'll meet you there." When she walked into the bar with her friends she scanned the crowd to see if Carley was there already and suddenly her knees went weak and her "flight" instinct kicked in as she laid eyes on her girlfriend waving her over excitedly. But that wasn't the part that made her need to vomit. No, the fact that she was sitting with a smiling Sam, and a pale white Callie, that made her break out in a sweat. "Uh guys, I'll uh… catch up to you in a few" she said before walking towards the table of doom. Carley stood up and quickly placed a kiss on her lips before sliding into the booth to make doom for the blonde. "Hey babe, your remember my friend Sam, and of course Callie." Carley said, motioning towards the two women seated. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, hi." Arizona stuttered out. Carley sat down and scooted towards the wall, allowing room for Arizona to sit next to her.
The blonde awkwardly sat down, looking anywhere other than at the only other doctor at the table. The waitress came over to take the drink order for the newest woman. Carley smiled at the woman and started to order the usual white wine that Arizona typically enjoyed when they were out somewhere, but Arizona spoke up first. "I'll have a scotch on the rocks." Carley stared at her girlfriend, eyes wide only to open them wider when Arizona added, "Make it a double." Leaning over, she whispered into the blondes ear, "Everything ok babe?" Arizona just shook her head and looked over where Alex and Jo were throwing darts. She wished she could have stayed over with them, avoiding this complete torture. She would have rather walked across hot coals while having her eye lids held open with needles than to be sitting in the position she was in. She accepted her glass when it was offered to her and drank it rather quickly, ordering a second before the waitress even had a chance to walk away.
The conversation between the 4 women was awkward, and more often than not both Callie and Arizona were silent. Only speaking when necessary. Arizona felt herself reaching her limit watching Sam flirt shamelessly with Callie. When Callie stood up, excusing herself to the ladies room, Arizona saw that as her opportunity to talk to the woman. She had just the right amount of liquid courage in her to say some things that she really needed to, so she waited a couple of minutes before following the same direction Callie had disappeared in moments before. Pushing the restroom door open, she looked around. She didn't see Callie, so she leaned up against the wall, and waited for her to come out of one of the stalls. Callie emerged and her feet shuffled to a stop when she noticed the blonde in the previously empty restroom. "A-Arizona. What are you doing in here? You ok?" Callie asked. She felt her pulse quicken as she stepped closer to the blonde. Arizona took another step. "I have been racking my brain, trying to figure out how to approach you. What to say to you, or how to say it rather." Callie raised her eyebrows. "You see me all the time. You have had plenty of time to talk to me." Callie took another step. "I have been a coward. I have fought with myself for days. Fought and fought. Knowing what I wanted, knowing what I needed. But I was scared. Scared of hurting Carley. Scared of allowing myself to fall in love with someone that I was certain could break me." Another step… "What are you saying?" Callie took a step forward. "Seeing you with Sam. Seeing you smile at someone that should be me breaks my heart. That should be me making you smile. That should be me holding your hand or brushing the hair away from your face." Another step… "Say it." Callie said, stepping forward, leaving only one step left between them. And it was a step she had been waiting on Arizona to take for weeks. "You want me to say it?" Arizona asked. Callie nodded, urging her to continue. "Say it Arizona." Arizona looked deep into Callie's eyes. She knew this was the moment. The time for her to jump, and just hope that Callie would be there to catch her. "I'm in love with you." Arizona took the last step, closing the gap between the two and their lips collided. The feeling of Callie's lips against hers, the taste of her breath consumed Arizona. From the first time she had kissed Callie, she had known that she was the last woman she ever wanted to kiss. Sure, she and Carley had had sex since they had been saved from the island, but it was just sex. No feelings were involved. At least not on Arizona's side. She distanced herself more and more each day from Carley, but she hadn't pulled the trigger on the relationship yet. And right now, feeling Callie in her arms, she knew she had to. She had to do whatever she needed to in order to keep this woman.
When they reached the point of needing air, they pulled apart. Their foreheads pressed against each other, they closed their eyes. "I wish it we could just walk out of here together" Arizona said. Callie opened her eyes, and pulled back to look Arizona in the eyes. "Why didn't you tell her about us? Why now?"
Arizona looked down at her feet, ashamed of her reasons, knowing they weren't good enough. "I was scared of hurting Carley that way." Callie stepped back, obviously not accepting the reasons had. "But you didn't care about hurting me, right?" Callie said defensively. "Callie, it's not like that. It was compli—" "You know what Arizona? Just stop. Stop because when we walk back out that door, you have a girlfriend… and I have, hell I don't know what I have. But I do know that I'm not going to do this." Callie turned to walk out of the restroom but felt a hand on her wrist, stopping her. "Callie, no. I'm not going to let you walk away again. When I was on that island and you walked away, I couldn't follow you. When we came back and I was stuck in that god awful hospital bed, and you walked away… I couldn't follow you then either. But this time, I can follow you.. and I will. So if you are walking out of here… I'm going with you. So the ball is in your court now. Are you walking out alone, or are we walking out together?" Callie knew that Arizona wasn't being serious. She was asking a question, but not in the literal sense. She searched Arizona's eyes for any sign of doubt or lie, but came up with nothing but honesty and love. "I can't let you hurt me again. You can't hurt me like that Arizona. So if you aren't sure, then—" "I love you Calliope. I do. I fell in love with you on that island, and I can't change it. Let me love you." She begged. Callie stepped forward, wanting to capture those lips once more, but the door opened and in came Sam. "Oh hey, there you are. We were wondering what happened to you guys." She said, completely oblivious to what was going on only seconds before. "We were just coming out." Callie said, looking to Arizona and forcing a flat smile. "I'll be right behind you." Sam called out, walking into the stall. Callie nodded her head towards the door, asking Arizona to step outside with her.
"I will give you one week. One week to tell Carley about us. If you don't tell her, then you are out of my life forever. And I mean it. I can't play this game with you Arizona. It hurts too badly. You ripped my heart out when you let me walk out of your room that day. And to be honest, I am terrified that you are going to hurt me again. But I could never forgive myself if I didn't try. Because you weren't the only one who fell in love out there. You know my number…. Meet me here Friday night. If you're not here by 12, then I'll know what you decided." Callie reached out and squeezed Arizona's hand, "I really hope that I'm the choice you make." And then she walked away.
When Sam came out of the restroom, she walked over to the table and looked around for Callie. "Where did Callie go?" She asked with confusion. Arizona spoke up, sheer happiness lacing her words. "She uh, had to get home. She has a surgery early in the morning. She said to tell you she will call you. " Arizona had to fight the urge to have a smile across her face when saying those words to Sam. Sure the woman had never done anything to hurt Callie, but the thought of the two of them together made Arizona want to jump across the table and rip Sam's hair plum out of her head. "I am so tired, I could use a nice warm bath and hit the sack." Carley said looking towards Arizona who seemed to be a thousand miles away. "Hello? Earth to Arizona!" Carley said, waving her had back and forth in front of the spaced out blonde. "Oh what? Sorry. Thinking about a big case at work. What were you saying?" Carley just rolled her eyes and turned to Sam. "Well I better get going. Tina's dad is leaving in the morning so I have to be at the hospital at 7am to sit with her. Thanks for tonight, it was a lot of fun." Arizona could see that Sam was clearly upset that Callie had left, and she couldn't be happier. "Yeah, I'm ready to go too. Why don't we share a cab?" Arizona rolled her eyes and stood up. "Yay." She said quietly. When Arizona leaned down to grab her jacket, she noticed a little black purse in the booth on the opposite side. "Hey Sam, you forgot your purse." She said, extending her arm to hand it to her. "Oh, that's not my bag. That must be Callies." Arizona looked at the bag, silently thinking to herself. "I should look inside for her address. She needs her purse and her id badge to be able to clock into work." Arizona opened the purse and pulled out Callie's driver's license. She just lives a few streets over. I can just go drop it off and meet you at home." She said, silently praying that they would just let her go alone. "Ok babe. Are you sure? I could go with you." Carley offered. "No, no it's fine. You and Sam go, I'll see you in a few." Arizona said and quickly walked out of the bar, avoiding the kiss goodbye.
She watched as Sam and Carley climbed inside of the cab and drove away before turning to walk down the street. She stopped only a block away and looked up at the tall building. Right across from the hospital. Convenient. She thought to herself. She pressed the up button on the elevator, and stepped off when it opened on the 5th floor. She looked at the numbers on the door until she found 502. This is Arizona. She is on the other side of this door.
She knocked twice and waited. Time seemed to stand still while she waited for Callie to answer the door, and when she did, Arizona inhaled a sharp breath. "Arizona?" Callie looked shocked, clearly she wasn't expecting to see Arizona again tonight. "You uh, left this at the bar." Arizona held out the purse and Callie reached for it. "Oh my god. I can't believe I didn't even notice it was gone. Thank you. You could have called me and I could have gone to pick it up. I really appreciate this." Arizona stood there awkwardly, finding her shoes to be extremely interesting. Callie noticed the nervous behavior and tried to break the ice. "Would you like to come in?" When Arizona didn't answer right away she tried to backtrack. "I'm sorry, that's dumb. I am sure you need to get home or Carley is waiting for you downstairs." Callie said, obviously disappointed in the answer she thought she was certain to get. "I'd like to come in." Arizona stepped forward and Callie moved to allow her to come inside.
"Would you like a glass? I just poured me one." Callie motioned towards the bottle of wine sitting on the bar. Arizona simply nodded. She walked over towards the fireplace and looked at the photos on the mantle while Callie poured her a glass and walked over to join her. "Those your parents?" She asked, pointing to the gold frame with two older looking people and Callie in the picture. "You look like your mother." She added. "I get that a lot, but I don't look near as much like her as my sister does." Arizona accepted the glass from Callie and took a sip. Arizona wanted to talk about what happened at the bar, but she wasn't sure where to begin. So she decided to bit the bullet and just say it. "I don't need a week Callie." This got Callie's attention instantly. "No?" She asked. "No. I don't need a week because I already know what I want. I know what I need. And that is you. On that island I thought we were going to die. I thought that we would never be found, and even though I would have been sad to never see my family again, all I could think about was how lucky I was to have met someone as amazing as you. And even if I only had a short amount of time with you, I was going to die happy. Because I had felt what real love felt like. And now that we know we have a long life ahead of us after being saved, I know I have to spend it with you." Callie felt tears well up in her eyes. It felt like a dream, hearing the words Arizona was saying to her. Words she had wanted to hear for so long. Words she didn't think she was ever going to hear. "I don't know what the future holds, but I know that if I don't give this everything I have…..if I don't try….. then I will regret it forever."
Callie sat her glass down on the coffee table and turned to take the glass from Arizona before placing it next to hers. "I'm going to kiss you now. And then I am going to take you into my bedroom and make love to you. You have the option to walk out that door right now and for me to forget you said any of these things. We can be friends…. In time…. But if you don't walk out right now then I won't ever let you. Because I love you, and I am done letting someone else be in my place." Callie stepped forward, giving Arizona a minute to think about what she wanted to do.
Arizona reached forward and took Callie by the hand. Leading her down the hallway, she peeked inside a door, figuring it was Callie's bedroom and pulled her inside. Turning to face Callie, she reached for the bottom hem of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. Looking deep into Callie's eyes, blue ones full of lust and desire, she said, "Make love to me Calliope."
That was all Callie needed to hear. This was it. She was going to fight for this woman, and no matter what the cost. Who would have thought that a plane crash would be the best thing to ever happen to her?
