I am very sincerely, truly sorry that I have not updated in 4 and a half months! I have been extremely busy with school, finding a job, and looking at colleges! So very sorry! Anyway, here is an extremely long chapter!


Jess knew that it was wrong to wish or pray that Michaela and her boyfriend would break up, but Jess didn't know what to do. He knew that if he was not in prison, he might have a chance, but though Michaela didn't hold Rory's death against Jess, he would be in prison for years to come. Even if Michaela and her boyfriend broke up, Jess wouldn't be able to date Michaela. It was an impossible dream, to wish for Michaela's love.

He lay on his cot, not moving, trying not to think about Michaela, but she crept into every thought. He thought about how Michaela and her father ministered to teens in prison. He wondered about Michaela's mother. She'd never mentioned anything about her. If only Jess were free....but that thought ended with the reminder of his transfer, just nine months away.

In nine months, Jess would turn eighteen, at which point he would be transferred to Hartford Prison. He would serve five years there, and would be twenty-three upon his release. He didn't know if he would be able to get his GED while in prison, and so he thought the worse: that he'd have many community service hours to complete, and he would have no high school diploma, no college education, and most likely, no Michaela.

Nine months seemed like a long time to Jess, until they began to fly by. He saw less and less of Michaela as her relationship with her boyfriend continued. She had turned seventeen, and was now finishing her junior year of high school, the way Jess should've been before his arrest.

A few weeks before his transfer, Michaela came to see Jess again. A tall, blonde young man was with her, and Jess' gut wrenched. Was this Michaela's boyfriend? Why would she bring him to see Jess?

"Jess," Michaela addressed him after they were settled into the visiting room, "this is my boyfriend, Matt. Matt, this is Jess.

"Matt and I have both been praying for you, Jess, and I thought that it would be good for you two to meet."

"Thanks for the prayers." Jess couldn't think of anything else to say to Matt. He was still embarrassed that his hands had to be restrained behind his back.

"No problem." Matt nodded.

"I'm sorry, but could I talk to Michaela alone for a minute?" Jess asked Matt.

"Sure." Matt obliged, exiting the room. He had barely closed the door when Jess looked straight at Michaela.

"Why?" he asked.

"Jess--" Michaela began, but he cut her off.

"Look, Michaela." Jess said defeatedly, leaning forward and resting his forehead on the table between them. "I know. I know why you brought Matt here. I know why we can never be anything. I'll be in prison for another five years, and I will in most likelihood reenter society with nothing. So just go. You can't expect me not to say anything when you start flaunting your perfect boyfriend in front of my face. Leave."

"But Jess, I--" she tried again, but Jess wasn't quite finished.

"I never want to see you again. Get out." he told her flatly. She made no move at all, so he crossed the room to the door himself, only to remember that his hands were cuffed behind his back. The warden opened the door for Jess before Michaela could reach him. Jess bolted down the corridor toward his cell. Tears blinded him, and he lost his footing. He hit the floor hard, and couldn't bring himself to get up. Michaela was a few yards behind him, and she reached Jess before he could get up. She began to help him up, but he recoiled from her touch. He stumbled into his cell, pulling the door shut behind him with his hands.

Michaela stood on the other side of the door, and she sighed. What on earth could she say to Jess?

"Don't say anything." he snarled, reading her mind. Then he collapsed onto his cot, facedown, and let his pillow collect his tears as he fell into a troubled sleep.