"See, I keep lying to myself
Don't know what else there is to do
If I could be somebody else–
Well, I think–I would for you"
I would for you, Nine Inch Nails
In the morning Harleen hurried to Arkham for her second session with the Joker. It would be their first session without him being restrained. Her stomach felt like it was vibrating, she was so nervous. She did have faith in her theory that this would actually keep her safer. After all just two days ago he had slipped out of his cell and had her at his mercy. At that thought her mind flashed to something really inappropriate for a doctor to be thinking about her patient and for a sane person to think about a sociopath. She did not want to be at the Joker's mercy- no, no, no. He had just been in the position to do anything he wanted to her. Ok this wasn't helping, time to stop thinking, Harleen, and just go in and do your job.
After she was settled into the grim little interview room the guards brought the Joker in. They sat him down and one guard removed his cuffs while the other pointed a Taser at the Joker. He started laughing when he realized that instead of chaining him to the bolts on the floor and table they were actually removing his restraints altogether. He looked up at Harleen and gave her a big smile.
"Ok, Doc! Look at you! Ready to show you aren't afraid of little old me?"
"No, of course not, I'm not stupid." She said with a smile and laugh.
"You sure you want to do this Dr. Quinzel? I think you should maybe rethink it." The guard, Tom she thought, asked her.
"I'm sure, thank you gentlemen. See you in an hour." And with that the guards left the room. The Joker immediately jumped up out of his chair and began meandering around the room with his hands held behind his back. He looked around the room as though there was something worth looking at but really it was just an attempt to make his walk over to her side of the room seem casual. They both knew it was an act, he was getting ready to put on a show for her of some sort. Harleen just hoped she lived through whatever it was. Finally he stopped next to her and sat down on the edge of the table.
"Now then, why don't you tell me what exactly your plan is here, Doc? I can't imagine I've already earned one of your little, uh, rewards." He rested his hands on either side of his body and waited for her to answer.
"I think we both know that you can kill me any time you want to with or without the restraints. Isn't that right, Mr. J?" He nodded at her and smiled.
"I didn't see any point to the restraints. I figured best case scenario they just made you uncomfortable and worst case you might decide getting out of them and hurting me was a fun thing to do if you got bored so I decided they needed to go." She smiled up at him and hoped she had said the right thing.
"That's pretty smart thinking, Harlequin. Did I ever tell you why I like to use a knife?" She shook her head.
"Now I'm not saying I, uh, never use a gun. But I prefer a knife. See guns are too quick, but knives, knives are personal. With a knife you can savor the moment. In their last moments, people show you who they really are." He paused and licked his lips. "You know what I want, Doc?"
Harleen shook her head again. Her throat had gone dry and she couldn't get any words past it.
"I want to know who you really are." Before Harleen could react the Joker had reached out his long arms and wrapped his hands around her throat. He started applying gentle pressure but increased it gradually as he spoke.
"You see, Doc, I think I have a pretty good idea who Harleen Quinzel is, but there's someone else in there too. I see little, uh, glimpses of her every time we talk but she keeps disappearing before I can get a really good look at her." He was smacking his lips and rolling his eyes up like he was thinking about every word before he said it but it seemed like a performance. Harleen shook her head a little to deny there was someone else. In response he started to squeeze hard enough she couldn't breathe. She raised her hands up to his and made an ineffective attempt to pull them away from her throat. Since that didn't work she began clawing at his arms and hands with her fingernails instead
"Now see, that, that's still you Harleen. Fighting back, that's what I expect from you, Doctor. Don't get me wrong, I like that you have some fight in you. It's just not telling me what I want to know." He leaned forward and stared deep into her eyes as though trying to find that illusive person he believed to be in there. Harleen clamped her eyes shut and tears ran down her cheeks. She dug her nails as deeply into his arms as she could, if she was going to die she was at least going to hurt him as much as she could. Then her eyes flew open. That eerie calm she'd felt before the attack in the restroom came over her again. She stared back at the Joker defiantly and lowered her hands from his arms. They sat there staring at each other but she stopped fighting him.
"Ah, there you are! I knew you were in there somewhere. I still don't know who you are though." He was examining her like a new life form he was trying to understand. She was suddenly filled with that intense rage she had experienced before. She was about to pass out but with her remaining consciousness she gave him an evil grin and her eyes glittered with malice.
"Oh, I think I like you a lot. I'll bet if I let you go right now you'd bash my brains in wouldn't you, cupcake?' His hands eased up enough that she could draw a little breath and she nodded enthusiastically. He started laughing while squeezing her neck tighter.
"I have no idea what you're, uh, going to do next but I can't wait to find out!" He resumed laughing and for Harleen the room went black.
When Harleen came to her head was resting on the metal table and the Joker was sitting in the chair across from her studying his nails. If her throat weren't on fire she'd have thought she dreamed the whole thing. She stood up carefully and straightened her clothing. She walked quickly over to the door and opened it.
"Could one of you please get me something to drink, I think I'm coming down with something." She hoarsely asked one of the guards. He ran across to the hall to the staff lounge and brought her a bottle of water.
"Thank you." And then she returned to the room and began slowly sipping water. She returned to her seat and looked up at the Joker who had been watching her since she stood up.
"How are you feeling, Harlequin?" He asked, his face a mask of false concern.
"A little sore and angry as hell" Might as well be honest, she hadn't had an outlet for that rage she felt earlier and it was still simmering away just below the surface. At least the anger had the advantage of driving away any lingering fear she might have.
"You're welcome to, uh, vent a little of that anger on me. I promise I can take it." His eyes were full of mischief. She was tempted but she worried that she wouldn't stop at just a punch or two.
"I'll take a raincheck."
"Oh I'm going to hold you to that, Doc." He leered at her and she suddenly felt very warm. Time to change the subject.
"Would you mind if we returned to some of the things we were talking about last session? I brought the information I promised you about Batman." She pulled the news articles out of her notepad and slid them across the table to him. He picked them up and started skimming through them quickly. Maybe he was just looking for particular things or maybe he was speed reading, she couldn't be sure. She watched his face while he read, it was animated but swung so quickly from amusement to anger that she had trouble keeping up. He finished his reading and slid the pile back over to her.
"Thanks, Doc, that was, uh, enlightening." If he sensed how closely she was examining his face earlier his only reaction to it was to make his face as blank and calm as possible.
"You told me during our last session that you had a plan to make Batman break his rule about not killing anyone in order to show him how alike you two are. Could you tell me more about that?" She found this idea that he equated himself with Gotham's vigilante very interesting. He had struck quite a blow to the local mobs but his actions did not seem driven by any desire to do the right thing.
"A plan? Sorry, Doc, I don't make plans." A disgusted look crossed his face. That's right, he'd expressed some disdain for planning to her the other day. Still…
"I can't understand how you could have done all the things you did without a great deal of planning." Was it really possible to cause so much destruction without working it all out in advance?
"Just because you can't understand something doesn't mean it isn't true." He smacked his lips and then his tongue slid out and started toying with the scars on one side of his mouth. She read in one of the more in depth articles written about him that he was more than once heard asking his victim if they wanted to know how he got his scars. The reporter suggested that the answer was always different. It was obvious this was a way of frightening or intimidating whomever he had his attention on. He couldn't really use that on Harleen for obvious reasons, she knew exactly how he got those scars. He could however still use the scars as a way to affect her emotions. She knew exactly how he got those scars. She refused to be manipulated by them and just kept looking at him to let him know she expected more of an answer.
"Look, I don't plan. I don't scheme. I just see things clearly, unlike the rest of you. I see the big picture. I usually know how things are going to play out long before they happen. But it's chaotic because nature is chaotic and humans no matter how they work to fight it are still part of nature. So sometimes how I see things is not how they turn out. The ferries for example. That didn't play out the way I saw it at all. Too many people involved to guarantee results. Another time, another set of people. BOOM!" He mimicked an explosion with his hands and let out a high pitched giggle. "Individuals though are easy to figure out. Harvey Dent for example. Now that went exactly how I expected it to. Unfortunately Batman found a way to ruin that at the last minute. My fault though, I explained the joke."
"What do you mean about Harvey Dent? If Batman didn't kill him what did happen?" Harleen asked.
"I don't know what happened in the end, I'm sure it was a good show though. Batman is always so much fun. That's one of the many things he and I have in common, we're both a lot of laughs." He laughed loudly as though to make his point.
"What else do you and Batman have in common?" Harleen was getting excited, was she actually successfully providing therapy to the Joker?
"Well we both have a great sense of fashion, though he's a bit too Goth for my taste." He winked at her.
"Do you think he shares your world view? Do you think you have any personality traits in common?" She was going to keep pushing until it made him angry.
"Batman and I, we're on the same level. We both had something happen that changed us. One bad day, that's all it really takes, Doc. And I made sure Harvey Dent had an eye opener of a day, I made him like us."
"Did Batman tell you something changed him? That he had a bad day that changed him?"
"He didn't tell me anything, he didn't have to. It's written all over him. Maybe his girlfriend was gang raped or the mob killed his brother? Could be anything. But I know what a person looks like afterwards. You could see it in Dent too after his bad day. Sometimes something so bad happens that it changes you forever, opens your eyes to how the world really works and makes you aware of others like you." The Joker gave her a pointed look. "Don't you agree, Harleen?"
Her mouth went dry and she sipped her water while she tried to think of something to say. She couldn't deny that she'd had the sort of day he was talking about, it was the same day that set him on the path to madness. But it hadn't changed her. Had it?
"I'm sure that's true for some, but others deal with those types of experiences in different ways. Some turn to their faith for example, seek strength in God."
"Oh you people and your love of any story that denies the randomness of existence. Is that what you did, Harleen, turned to god?" He looked like the word left a bad taste in his mouth.
"No, I didn't do anything, just went on with my life. I tried to put things behind me and just move on."
"The sort of bad day I'm talking about you don't just put behind you, Doc. With some people like my friend Harvey a bad day like that destroys you fast, burns you up to a pile of ashes and someone new rises out of those ashes like a phoenix. Other people form a cocoon around themselves thinking it will protect them. They can make that cocoon out of anything. Work, school, love, religion. It doesn't matter what they use but the thing about cocoons is that they change you too, it's just a slower process. I don't know which my buddy Batman is, a phoenix or a butterfly. I'll have to ask him next time I see him." The idea sent him into a fit of laughter, Harleen got the idea he might be laughing at her.
"Well we're just about out of time Mr. J. Before we end our session is there anything else you would like to tell me? I won't see you again until Monday, is there anything you need? Are you sleeping ok, eating regularly?"
"Oh I'm just fine here, snug as a bug in a rug. There is something I'd like to ask though." He paused for her permission to go on, she gave him a slight nod.
"Where are you going on your date, Harlequin?" He grinned smugly at her.
"How do you…. what do you mean by that?" She couldn't help being flustered, how could he know that she had a date? Was he spying on her somehow?
"How do I know you have a date? Well like I said, individual people are pretty easy to figure out. I knew after our little heart to heart on Tuesday you'd go out and find a date just as soon as you could. A pretty girl like you wouldn't have to try very hard. I bet whoever he is he's as different from me as you could find." He shifted his tongue over to the corner of his mouth and looked up as though thinking.
"A teacher…lawyer… police officer…" He must have seen some reaction in her face. "Ah, a police officer. In Gotham you might find he's not as different from me as you think. Can't beat the Gotham police force for violent criminal acts. You might want to wear a turtleneck though, your neck is a little, uh…" He raised his hands and made a strangling gesture.
Her cheeks were burning red with embarrassment now and she decided to focus her attention on her notepad. Seeing her notes about the Joker's relationship with Batman cheered her slightly, at least they accomplished something today.
"There's a psychology term for that isn't there, Doc. Starts with an 'S' I think….I'm sure I'll remember it later." She looked up at him suddenly, eyes wide.
"Oh look, the guards are here. Have a good time on your date, Harlequin. I'll be thinking of you." He crooned the last part at her making it sound like a lover's promise but he had an evil look on his face that made it seem more like a threat.
"Good bye, Mr. J." She said quietly. Sublimation. That's what he'd been implying wasn't it? That she was, what? Sublimating her desire for him with a more socially acceptable choice? That wasn't true! Was it?
